


Unconventional

by Aromance91



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Coming of Age, Consensual Underage Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, Extremely Dubious Consent, Extremely Underage, Gallavich Endgame, Ian Gallagher and Mandy Milkovich are Best Friends, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealous Ian Gallagher, Jealous Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Moral Dilemmas, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Read tags, Self Loathing, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unconventional Relationship, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex, Very happy ending, belittling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-02-06 12:48:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 114,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12817869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aromance91/pseuds/Aromance91
Summary: This fic goes from 11 to 18The timeline got messed up and its being fixed, please dont let that ruin the story.Mickey has a colored past and feeling are brought to the surface when he is tasked with babysitting his sisters best friend. He knows that its dangerous and he shouldn't  but....the heart wants.





	1. Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just updated to original story working on new chapter now xoxo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE TAGS 
> 
> Ian is 11 turning 12 in 2 weeks, Mickey is 15 turning 16 in 6 months. They are 3.5 yrs apart.

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=pozzo)

He grabbed Ian’s hand and they made their way across the street to the boy's house. Mickey never saw himself being anyone's babysitter, especially after watching his sister for so long but when Ian’s sister approached him when he picked up Mandy from their house he found himself unable to say no. It was the best decision he had ever made.

You see Mickey was 115 and kept mostly to himself. He didn’t have very many friends. He lived with his brothers and his little sister. Their mom died when they were younger and his father was long gone, shot in a drug deal gone wrong. He couldn’t be happier, his father had a nasty habit of using his children as punching bags and if he was drunk enough he might even sleep into their bed at night. When it came to the fucked up things his father did he didn’t seem to have a preference though Mickey tried to keep him away from his sister in both aspects resulting in most of the unwanted attention. Who knows maybe that was the reason he seemed to stare longer than he should at the boy sitting on the couch next to his sister. The two kids were playing video games and playfully shoving each other. He leaned against the door and watched as the young boy kicked his sisters ass at Halo. He walked around the couch and sat down next to the boy with his freckled face and green eyes. “Can I try?”  
  
The boy looked up at him with his innocent face and handed him the controller. “You have to beat her though Mick cause if not you’ll stop my streak”

“Streak huh?”

“Yea Mick. I beat her like 4 times already ”

“No it was only 3” his sister replied elbowing the boy in the side.

“No it was 4 Mandy don’t lie,” the boy said crossing his arms and glaring at his sister.

“Easy there kid, don’t fuckin worry. I always win” he replied. It was true, less than 10 minutes later his sister was frowning again because he kept killing her character. He lay wrapped his hand around the boy's shoulder and looked down at him.“ See buddy told you. Your reputation is intact.” He was about ready to stand up from the couch when Fiona walked into the room.

“You’re so good with him,” she said walking over and rustling her hand through the boy's hair. “Would you consider maybe babysitting? I know it’s sudden but...I can’t keep a sitter to save my life.”

Babysitting? He shouldn’t, that would be irresponsible. He already had a hard enough time each time to fight his urges each time he picked up his sister. Ian was always trying to get his attention but he usually made a point to grab Mandy and go. He glanced over at the small face staring up at him and willed himself not to lick his lips. He looked back over to Fiona “why? You not payin em or somethin?”

The girl laughed “ No nothing like that. It’s just Ian...well he can be a handful and it seems people seem to run for the hills after a few days. I just thought with Mandy and him hangin out all the time anyway..”  
“You gonna be my sitter Mickey? So that means we can play video games all day right ?”

He let out a small laugh because the kid was adorable. His pink cheeks littered with freckles and his orange hair falling into his green eyes...Focus..

“Uh yeah I guess. I mean..you gonna pay me? I don’t do shit for free.” He would though. Now the offer was out there, he would absolutely do it for free.

“Of course Mickey, and my house is your house so help yourself to whatever you want” the girl replied.

She shouldn’t say that. If he did that then the warm body next to him might find itself in another position. He knew he was not a good person for thinking these things. He tried to be. He thought by protecting Mandy from his dad and making sure she had everything she needed, by doing ok in school made him a good person. It did on the outside. On the inside, though his dad had left a curiosity that was unfixable. A lingering eye and hands that wanted to touch longer than they should. A fondness for soft skin and the smell of shampoo. Fuck.

“I’m down then,” he said standing up from the couch. ‘When you need me to start?”

“Actually..I have a date tonight if maybe”

“Yes. I mean sure” he said scratching the back of his neck. He didn’t want to seem as eager as he was actually feeling.

“Great. So how about you come back here by 7 pm?” Fiona said. “I’ll make sure he has dinner so you guys can just hang out and then bedtime is 9” she looked over at Ian.

“Fine Fi fuck” the boy said crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

“Ian! Do not talk to me like that” she snapped.

“Sorry.” Ian said softly then looked up at him “ Can we watch a scary movie?”

He looked over at the boy’s sister who shrugged her shoulders leaving him the choice.  
“Sure kid” he said leaning down and rustling the boys hair. it was like silk between his fingers. He needed to leave. “Ok so we’ll be back then unless” he turned to his sister “ you wanna stay”

“No. Ian cheats I don’t wanna play anymore” Mandy huffed and walked to the door. “ I just wanna go home” his sister whined.

“Alright stop bein a fuckin crybaby.” he looked over at Fiona and nodded his head. “I'll be back at 7”

******

Fiona left around 7:15 leaving them to pick out a movie. He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were four beers lining the door so he grabbed one. She said he could help himself. He popped the top with his pocket knife then walked over to the couch and sat down next to Ian before reaching out and grabbing the remote. “So kid what you wanna watch?” he said flipping through the channels.

“You said we could watch a scary movie” Ian said looking at him with hopeful eyes.

He did say that. “Alright buddy let’s see what we got to choose from” he replied pulling up the guide. He clicked on the free movies and found one of his favorites. Final Destination. He sat back in the couch and watched as the preview movie started.

“What’s this about?” Ian asked reaching for his water.

He let out a small laugh. “I’m not gonna tell you kid. That would take away all the fun.”

“We should make popcorn and turn off the lights like the movies. That would make it even more fun” Ian jumped up from the couch before he had a chance to answer.

“Hey” he called out standing up and walking into the kitchen.

Ian was kneeling on the counter pulling out a package of popcorn. The boy turned around and looked at him “This is my favorite because its kettle corn so it has sugar on it. It’s better than the movies.”

He didn’t know why but he walked over to the boy and picked him up off the counter and sat him on the ground.  
“You didn’t have to do that. I can walk” Ian said and shoved the plastic package at him. “You gonna make it or what?”

He raised a brow because this kid was too much. He was starting to be a little bratty but he was ok with it for now. “Sure thing little man. Go find a bowl to put it in.” He walked over to the microwave and threw the bag inside after removing it from the package. He turned around to see Ian practically inside the bottom cupboard throwing different sized containers behind him. Kid was making a mess but that wasn’t what caught his attention. He was on his knees again but the way he was reaching in the cupboard his shirt was rising revealing a small patch of snow white skin between the hem of his sweat pants and his t-shirt. He looked away because he shouldn’t have stared in the first place right? Yea just because he wanted to walk over and push the boys shirt up more so he could feel his soft skin under his fingertips didn’t mean he should. He shouldn’t think about how watching the boy bent over made his dick twitch and his soul darken. He shouldn’t...  
The microwave beeped pulling him from his thoughts. He exhaled a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding and opened the door pulling out the puffed brown bag. Ian emerged with a blue bowl and set it on the counter.

“You’re gonna clean up your mess right?” he said pouring the popcorn into the bowl.

“I’ll do it after the movie. Come on Mickey. We can turn off the lights and pretend we’re at the theater. It will be cool.”

He shook his head and crossed his arms looking down at the boy. “Nope. Clean that shit up first then we can watch the movie.” he replied popping a kernel of corn into his mouth.

Ian’s soft smile quickly changed to a defiant glare. “You’re no fun Mickey.” he huffed and kicked one of the tupperwares that was on the floor.  
“Not my problem kid. You made the mess so clean it up.” he said shrugging his shoulders. “That or you can just go to your room and I’ll eat this sugary popcorn and watch scary movies by myself.”

Ian’s face softened and he bent down to pick up the container he kicked. He watched as the boy put everything back and then the two made their way to the living room. He turned off the light leaving only the brightness from the TV screen. He sat down on the couch setting the bowl of popcorn between he and Ian.

As the movie progressed he found himself paying less and less attention. This was one of his favorite movies but the small jumps and soft gasps from the kid next to him were capturing his attention. He watched as Ian pulled his legs up underneath him so he was now sitting cross legged on the couch. He was grabbing little handfuls of popcorn and shoving them in his mouth, eyes never leaving the screen. Ian licked the butter from the popcorn off his lips and again he knew he should turn away again. Instead, he reached out and grabbed the bowl moving it to the table in front of him. Ian gave him a curious look but didn’t complain. The boy rest his head on his hands and continued to watch the movie.

They were about to witness the first death after the plane crash.

Ian jumped back as the graphic scene played in front of his eyes. “Relax kid. It’s just a movie” he said scooting closer to the boy.

“I..I know’ Ian replied but he could tell he was still spooked.

“It’s just gonna get scarier” he said rustling the boy’s hair again. He couldn’t resist feeling the softness under his fingertips again. “Maybe we should put on somethin else?”

“No. I’m OK, I wanna watch this.”

“Alright”

It was only about 10 more minutes later before Ian jumped again, this time covering his eyes. Again he didn’t think.. Not really. He reached out and grabbed the boy pulling him close.

“You sure you don’t want to watch somethin else?”

“Yea I’m sure but can I stay here.. with you?” Ian’s eyes looked into his and he could see that he was scared and needed comfort but was trying not to admit it.

“I don’t see why not” he replied. Ian said nothing but instead leaned against him. For his age he was actually pretty small. He had that look though like he would sprout like a beanstalk. Now though he was maybe 4’10. He moved his attention back to the movie. It was harder this time to concentrate now that each small flinch a frightened breath was much closer. He could literally feel the kid moving against his side. The universe was cruel. It was testing him by putting him in this situation. The room was dark and Ian was already so close to him…

He knew he was going to fail this test the moment Ian jumped again when the 2nd person died. When she was hit by a bus boy scooted back again but he was already against the couch. Ian raised his hands to his eyes and that’s when he decided to pull him onto his lap and wrap his arms around him securely. He waited for some push back but instead Ian just relaxed in his arms. This was the worst thing he could have done to himself. Stupid Mickey. He should have just turned off the fucking movie and put on disney or some shit but nope. Ian was now on his lap moving around and as he stiffened in his pants he felt his morals slowly slipping away with each passing minute. He unwrapped his arms and ran his hands down the boys resting them around his waist “You comfortable kid?”

Ian turned and smiled at him “Shh Mick, I think the ghost is about to come back.”

“It’s not a ghost” he replied running his hands slowly up again his finger brushing against the bottom of Ians shirt letting the tips of his fingers touch his sides lightly.

“Yes it..hey” Ian said as shimmied his body “Stop Mick that tickles ”

His heart was beating fast as he actually tickled the boy this time causing the him to start wiggling around in his lap.  
‘Knock it off Mickey. I mean it” Ian laughed jerking his body.

“Or what hmm” he said his hands now under the boy's shirt climbing slowly up. His skin felt like velvet and he couldn’t help that growing hardness in his pants and his thumbs moved over Ian's sides.” You don’t like being tickled?” he replied tickling him one more time.

Ian huffed and sat back against him looking up “I’m not a baby Mickey”

“I..I know that” he replied trying to not focus on the fact that he now had a boner and the boy has just scooted himself right back onto it. He closed his eyes. Be good be good.. Be..

“What are you doing?”

He realized his hands were still under the boys shirt and good went out the window. He tickled the boy again and just like he wanted Ian squirmed in his lap pressing his sweat covered ass against him. “Fuck” he sighed and the boy turned around.

“Whats wrong?”

He looked at the green eyes staring at him and found his hands moving down to his waist. “uh..nothin just sit still and watch the movie” he replied trying to focusing on anything except Ian’s ass pressed against him. This was going to be a long night.

 


	2. You're Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey tries to resist temptation and learns that he and Ian have something in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delay my lovelies. Working on next chapter now. I was gong to post all at once but i like doing updates. Got busy working on WIPs and my gift exchange fic. Hope you enjoy xoxo
> 
> PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE PROCEEDING XO

Mickey couldn't stop thinking about that night. The way Ians skin felt under his finger tips, his ass pressing down against him. To be honest it was all he could think about all week. Most kids his age were trying out for football or sneaking out to get drunk but not him. He could care less about having a social life. Instead, he was sitting at home listening to music wrestling with the demons in his head.

 

He already knew he was gay...so did his family. That didn't mean he understood it yet. He found some guys attractive at school & had a few Hunk magazines he would jack off too but nothing gave him butterflies like Ian did.

 

Nothing good anyway. 

 

When he thought about the boy's smile it warmed him in the deepest way but when he thought about his pink lips and how soft they would feel against his own it did other things. Things he knew were wrong but couldn't help but feel any the less. It was just Ian who brought these urges to the surface, maybe because they grew up together, maybe because of the connection he had with his sister. Whatever it was he needed to wash it from his mind. Ian was 3.5 years younger than him. He was smaller and still innocent. Unlike him, his green eyes sparkled with naivety and he only knew a gentle touch.

 

Mickey knew so much more than that. He knew what he thought was right for so long until one day he realized it wasn't. It wasn't a normal thing for your dad to come into your room at night, to sleep in your bed…..no it was wrong. He wondered if anyone had any idea. Mandy was so young and his dad might have hit her maybe even sit a little too close but with him it was different. The first time he stepped in front of his sister caused a shift in his father's evil plans, leading him to all the unwanted attention…

 

Now, here he was sitting on his bed with hands down his pants and eyes squeezed shut, pumping himself vigorously and trying not to picture the things he knew he shouldn't....should he? He tried not to want the soft pink lips of one Ian Gallagher wrapped around his dick, tried not to picture green eyes staring up at him with rose-colored cheeks from the sheer effort of taking him in for the first time..yea he tried his best not to think about how his lips might taste like popcorn or maybe peanut butter.

 

The key word here was try and he failed miserably. One more pretend glance up from green eyes mixed with his thumb rolling across his tip and he was done. “Mmm” he sighed softly and he filled up his hand. He threw himself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. 

 

He didn’t know what to feel anymore. Right and wrong were being blurred by the need to touch and feel and cuddle. He wanted to see if maybe Ian would like him like that. He would be gentle with things, he didn’t want to hurt him. He wanted to lay next to him after, to hold him and kiss his neck...Fuck. He wanted a lot of things.

******

When Friday night came around Fiona sent him a text message asking him to babysit for the weekend so she could go on a company retreat, he couldn’t type yes fast enough. He told himself though this wouldn’t be like last time. No. He would not sit next to Ian, he would keep his distance. He would learn some fucking self-control. That’s what he told himself. Needless to say, things were easier said than done.

 

He arrived at the Gallaghers house around 630. Fiona had her bags packed and was arguing with her brother Lip. Ian was sitting on the couch playing video games

 

“That’s fine, go do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t need your help” the girl yelled at the older boy.

 

“Maybe I wouldn’t mind if he would fucking listen Fiona, but you spoil him so he thinks he can do whatever he wants” Lip yelled. 

 

“Look” she said gesturing to where he was standing in the doorway. “Mickey is gonna be babysittin from now on, so really you don’t have to worry about it OK”

 

Lip looked over at him and rolled his eyes “Yea we’ll see how long that last. I’m done with this conversation” the older boy said snatching his jacket from the back of the couch causing the young boy to turn around.

 

“Hey Mick” Ian waved to him and paused his game looking over at his sister. “I want pizza Fiona, can you leave some money for Mickey”

 

“Uh don’t worry about that kid. We can go get some food” he said sending Fiona a reassuring look.

 

“Oh Ok” Ian replied then turned around pushing play on his game.

 

“So the numbers are on the fridge and Veronica is right next door if you need anything”

 

“Ian you have my number right?” Lip saying looking at him warily. He was used to that look so it didn’t really bother him. It came with his last name. Seemed everyone knew about the drama that came with the Milkovich name...at least most of it.

 

“Yea Lip. I have it” Ian replied not turning away from the TV.

 

“I’m out then” Lip said and stormed past him.

 

No sooner did Lip leave he saw a car pull up in front of the house flashing it’s lights.

 

“Well that’s Mike” Fiona said then walked over to the boy on the couch. “Bye sweet face” she said kissing him on the cheek “Call me if you need anything OK”

 

“Yea OK. Gross” Ian exclaimed wiping his face and pushing his sister away.

 

He couldn’t help but laugh at the look of disgust on the boys face. It was too cute.

 

“What?” Ian said turning his head to him. 

  
  
  


He shook his head and continued to lean against the doorframe. “Nothin, you’re just...nevermind” he laughed and held his tongue.

  
  


“Just what?”

 

He looked over at Fiona who was putting on her jacket looking at him as well. 

“Silly?” he replied more of a question than an answer shying away from their eyes and glancing outside. He wanted to say cute and adorable but..

 

“Ok Mickey, Ian you guys have fun. Mickey is in charge Ian got it”

 

“Yes Fi, you can go now”

 

“Bye” Fiona called one last time before she shut the door. 

 

Ian turned to look at him “You wanna come play with me Mick?”

 

Fuck. Really? Yes. He really wanted to do that but he shouldn't. Why did he agree to this? 

“Uh. yea..sure little man” he said walking over to the couch and sitting at the end. Ian handed him the controller and made sure to tell him exactly what he expected from him in the game.

 

*****?

 

“Come on Mick. You can’t keep dying” Ian huffed at him. “I thought you were good at this game, you beat Mandy.”

 

“Yea that was Mandy though, I beat her at everything” he replied his eyes doing a hesitant side glance at the boy next to him. Bad move because he walked right into an ambush, literally and figuratively. His character died and Ian threw his controller on the ground and jumped up from the couch. 

 

“Jesus Mickey! You suck at this game”

 

“Yea..well how bout we play a different game then” he replied standing up from the couch.

 

“Like what?” 

 

Several scenarios ran through his head that ended with freckled skin touching his own.

 

Stop. 

 

“I don’t know” he said scratching the back of his neck. “Something I don’t suck at maybe”

 

“So nothing?” Ian quipped before he brought his hand to his mouth. His eyes lighting up as he started to laugh.

 

“Just watch. I’ll find something that I know I can beat you on” he replied with a slight grin as Ian rolled his eyes. He walked over to the TV and looked through the video games. It was slim pickens. Call of duty, Halo or...there we go. “Mario Kart” he said opening the case and pulling out the game. “I’m gonna kick your ass kid”

 

Once the game was in they both made their way to couch. He took his spot at the end and Ian sat down right next to him.

“You have the whole couch. Scoot the fuck over” he said pushing him playfully.

 

“What? I don’t bite Mick” Ian said shoving him back.

 

He shrugged his shoulder away from the contact “Whatever. Prepare to be slaughtered.”

 

“We’ll see about that” Ian replied.

  
  


No more than 15 minutes later and he was again faced with the thing that must have driven everyone else away. He had Mandy though, he could handle a little attitude.

 

“It’s not fair. You cheated.” Ian remarked shoving him again.

 

“I didn’t. You just suck at this game” he said bluntly.

 

“You’re an asshole” Ian replied and shoved him again.

 

“Maybe.” He tilted his head “I’m also pretty sure you’re not supposed to talk like that bud” he said trying to maintain his role as an authority figure.

 

“You’re not the boss of me so i’ll say whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want.” Ian snapped.” I'm not a fucking child jesus. You shouldn't even be here. I can take care of myself ”

 

This kid was too much. He licked his lips and sat the controller on the floor before leaning back in the couch to stare at the boy. “You’re kinda cute when you’re upset you know that?” he said not thinking before the words came out.  

 

Ian looked up at him with his big green eyes curiously, his demeanor changing. “Wait what? You think I'm cute?” 

 

Fuck he just wanted to reach out and press those pouty pink lips against his own. He quickly looked away knowing he should get up from the couch, but his body was molded into the seat and to be honest he really didn’t want to move.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that” he lied. “I meant you think you’re gonna get your way actin like that but you’re not. Remember Mandy’s my sister.”

 

Ian looked down at the ground smoothing his thumb over the controler in his hands before looking back at him “I’m cooler than Mandy though Mick c’mon. We both know it”

 

“Yea man. Way cooler”

 

Ian scooted closer to him and he could feel his heart beating fast against his chest. 

 

“You want to go get some pizza? We can eat whatever I don’t care kid”

 

“Yea I’m hungry” Ian replied standing up from the couch. “Get up Mick. I wanna watch a scary movie when we get back”

 

He glanced up at the boy with a complacent look “Is that right?”

 

Ian looked to the ground, seemingly acknowledging the fact he needed his permission. “Can we? It was really fun last time. We can make popcorn and turn off the lights again.

 

“I have a better idea” he said sitting up and pulling out his phone. “Why don't we just order pizza and we can watch two movies instead of one.” Truth be told he wanted the lights off again and the feel of Ian cuddling against him. It was nice to be able to comfort him. It was also nice to feel his skin warm and soft under his fingers. The fact the Gallaghers had cable was also a plus because there were so many movies to chose from.

 

“OK. We can do that but I wanna pick the movie. You picked last time.” the boy said sitting back down.

 

“Have at it little man” he said handing Ian the remote.

 

“Can you not call me that?”

 

He looked over at Ian surprised “What?”

 

“Little man. It’s demeaning.”

 

“Sure thing kid” he replied rolling his eyes. This fucking kid. He couldn't say it enough.

 

******

 

“So can we watch any scary movie?” Ian said as he flipped though the movie titles.

 

“Yea we can watch whatever the fuck you want, just pick somethin already.” he sighed leaning back into the couch. It was his fault for handing the kid the remote. Ian was reading every synopsis before moving to the next title. Finally he decided on an older movie.  _ Demon Night _

 

“OK ..this one looks pretty fuckin cool.” Ian said clicking play and sitting down on the couch.

 

He’d never even heard of this movie but it was from 1995. He wasn’t picky, it was cool to see something new. At least new to him.

 

*****

 

They had both changed for the night. Ian into his sweats and a t-shirt, him in shorts and a tank top. It took about 30 minutes for the pizza to arrive which was good because that gave him time to jack off in the bathroom before going back downstairs for movie night.

 

Pizza in hand Ian had scooted back on the couch as the movie played. So far it was weird. It was even freaking him out and he was older than Ian. It wasn’t until the demons started rising from the little green pools of blood that he turned away from the screen. “Fuck that’s some creepy shit”

 

“I know right?” Ian replied and scooted his body so that he was within arms reach.

 

He told himself not to grab him, to pay attention to the movie, then the demons started crawling around the house.  He wrapped his arms around Ian and pulled him into his lap, for his comfort and Ian’s knowing the boy would not ask.

 

“Jesus kid.” he exclaimed turning away from the TV when the comic book came to life. “You had to pick the weirdest fuckin movie”

 

“You scared Mick? That it?” Ian laughed turning around to face him. He was about to answer with a witty remark but was distracted by the stain of pizza sauce on Ian’s lip. He lifted his hand and wiped the sauce away with his thumb staring at his soft lips for a little too long. 

 

“No. I..uh. I just think it’s stupid.” he replied putting his hand down. Ian was still staring at him. “The fuck are you lookin at man watch the movie” he sighed.

 

“I think your lying” Ian replied and turned his body to face the TV. 

 

He wrapped his hands back around the boys waist and leaned back in the couch. He felt himself getting harder with each minute that passed. His fingers were playing with the hem of Ian’s shirt searching for a small patch of skin to rest on. Once his thumbs made there way under Ian’s shirt he smoothed them over his soft skin. This was nice. If Ian noticed he didn’t seem to mind.

 

“Shit” Ian jumped rubbing up against him. “Did you see that Mick. That kid just turned ito a fucking demon. All he did was..”

 

“Yea we are watching the same thing man. I saw it.” he replied trying his best to ignore the way Ian moving in his lap wasn’t causing him to feel hot all over. “S..sit still” he muttered.

 

“Sorry it’s just this movie.” Ian said and turned his head bringing his hand to his face. 

 

“You wanted to watch it.”

 

“I know. I know” Ian replied lifting his head and putting down his hand. He scooted back on his lap, his sweat covered ass lining up exactly where it shouldn’t then leaned back on his chest. “It’s scary but it’s still a good movie.”

 

He said nothing but kept his eyes on the TV.

  
  


Finally after Ian adjusted himself several more times it was too much. He was so close to cumming in his pants so he pushed Ian off his lap and walked into the kitchen to alleviate his frustration. He opened the fridge and pulled out a snack pack pudding. He always liked sweet things. Chocolate would be a nice distraction. He was about to walk back the couch with his treat when he realized Ian would probably want something too. “Aye you want a pudding or..” he looked around and saw a package of oreos above the microwave. “Or a cookie?” 

 

“Bring the cookies” Ian called to him.

 

He grabbed the pack from the counter and walked back over to the couch and sat down sitting the package on the table. To his surprise as soon as he sat down Ian climbed into his lap. That was not good. “Really? You have the whole couch”

 

“You said that before”

 

“I’m just sayin…”

 

“It’s just the movie you know and it’s dark and…” Ian trailed off and he could tell the kid was embarassed for actually crawling into his lap. He shouldn’t have pointed it out. He couldn’t picture him crawling into his sister’s lap or Lips but here he was wanting to be close to him. It was nice actually. Even if it was frustrating he still found his face splitting into a random smile.

 

“What?” Ian asked before taking a bite of an oreo.

 

“It’s nothing” he replied grabbing his pudding.

 

“You’re not gonna call me cute again are you?” Ian raised a brow and stared up at him.

 

“What? No.” he countered .”Wh..why would you think that?”

 

A small smile creeped across the boys face. “Sure.” Ian replied rolling his eyes and turning back to the TV. 

 

It almost felt like Ian was flirting with him..he wasn’t though. No that was just his mind playing tricks on him, testing him.

 

He pulled away the foil top and licked the luscious treat off the lid careful not to swipe his tongue. He went to take a real bite then realized he forgot a spoon. Ian had finished his cookie and was leaning back against his chest again. It was nice and he couldn’t really get up not without disturbing the fragile situation. Whatever he would just use his finger. He dipped his finger inside his pudding cup and scooped a nice portion up bringing it to his lips. Fuck that was good. He hadn’t had snack pack in a minute. He had his finger twirling around the cup again when Ian turned around any eyeballed his desert. “Take a picture kid it will last longer” he said sticking his finger in his mouth.

 

“Can I have some?” Ian asked looking down at his pudding cup longingly.

 

“No you have cookies”

 

“So?” Ian replied then turned around so that he was practically straddling him. “I want some of your pudding”

 

“Uh ..y..yea OK.” he said feeling extremely flustered. “Here” he handed the boy his pudding cup using it as a barrier because Ian was inches away from his face. 

 

“No spoon?”

 

Fuck. “Get down and I’ll go get one.” he said going to push the boy away.

 

“It’s OK. I’m good Mick. You didn’t have one, so why should I?” Ian stuck his finger in the cup scooping up the dessert than brought it to his lips sucking his finger clean.

 

He felt himself getting hard again and now Ian was watching him. It was almost like he knew what he was doing. He couldn’t though right? It was in his head…

 

“Are there more?” Ian says licking another scoop from his finger.

 

“Just take that one and turn around” he replied before averting his eyes as Ian continued to eat the pudding cup in a beyond suggestive way.

 

“We can share”

 

“What? No” he replied.

 

“Why not? Here.” Ian said putting a pudding covered finger in his face. 

 

“N..no. Knock it of man. Just eat it.” he replied with a staggered breath. This fucking kid was going to kill him. What the fuck was he doing? He had to know this was wrong..right? This was….He was cut off by Ian licking the pudding from his finger again, his green eyes fixed with his. That was it. He didn’t think and surged forward pressing his lips against the boys, the taste of chocolate floating between them.

“Fuck” he shouted and pushed Ian away. “It’s time for bed.” he said not looking at the red head.

 

“Um we..the movie..I” Ian replied.

 

“Forget the fucking movie kid. Just go to bed alright.” he said walking into the kitchen. What the fuck man? Why the hell did he do that? What made him think that was OK...He didn’t push him away though, didn’t yell or freak out. He just let it happen..maybe..no. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. He may be 15 but his brothers let him drink beer. Not like Fiona would really care. He popped the top with his lighter and quickly started to chug it down.

 

“Mickey?” Ian’s voice crept into his ears and he felt obligated to respond.

 

“What?” he huffed and leaned against the counter beer dangling between his two fingers.

 

Ian averted his eyes then looked up at him. “Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Spit it out”

 

“OK..why did you do that?” Ian said walking over to him and leaning against the stove across from him.

 

“Do what?” 

 

“Kiss me. You kissed me” Ian replied widening his eyes and raising a brow.

 

FUCK FUCK FUCK “It was an accident alright. We don’t need to talk about it ever. It won’t happen again.” he replied then took a sip of his beer.

 

“Why not? You don’t like me?” Ian tilted his head to look at him causing him to choke on his beer. He was not expecting that.

 

“No it’s not that Ian. I do like you, but like I said it was an accident”

 

“I know but why don’t you wanna do it again?”

 

...really?...

 

“I’m older than you Ian. You can’t just do that. It’s was wrong.”

 

“You can say kiss Mick I’m not stupid. I see Fiona kiss her boyfriend all the time.”

 

“Exactly. Adults” he replied.

 

“What if I wanted you to kiss me?”

 

“Didn’t I say it was time for bed?” 

 

He chugged the rest of his beer and walked into the living room then over to the couch. He stretched across the couch and closed his eyes. He was trying to block out everything and let the darkness sooth him when he felt the couch dip. He opened his eyes to see Ian sitting down.

 

“I said go..” he was promptly cut off by soft lips pressed against his. He didn’t know why, maybe because Ian initiated it but he allowed himself to give in to his feelings. He sat up quicker than he realized and pushed the boy back on the couch kissing him hungrily.

 

“Mickey wait..” Ian whispered.

 

He knew Ian was starting to feel overwhelmed but every urge in his body came to the surface with that one kiss. Everything he had tried to block out was coming through. “Don’t worry. It’s ok” he said softly as he kissed the boy. Ian continued to kiss him back letting his tongue slide into his mouth. He felt warm like he was burning up and Ian was the only thing that could cool him down. The boy placed his hand on his side and he pulled his head up kissing the freckled skin on Ian’s neck. Soon he found his hands wandering over the boy’s sweat covered leg and slowly sliding up his inner thigh. He was so hard right now as he pressed kiss after kiss against Ian’s lips. His hand crept up further and..

 

“Mickey stop” Ian said pushing at his chest.

He wanted to ignore him and to keep acting on impulse. He wanted his fingers to keep exploring, to touch and be touched. He wanted it so bad but fuck..

 

He pulled away and looked at the boy beneath him. Ian looked scared and flustered. His pink lips swollen from his kisses and his face flushed beet red. His eyes flickering with lust and confusion.

 

Fuck. What did he just do? He immediately jumped off the couch. “Shit! I’m so sorry.” he sighed rubbing his nose “ You shouldn’t have fuckin kissed me. What the fuck Ian? I told you to fuck off didn't I? ” he yelled because it was true.

 

Ian sat up and wiped his mouth slowly. “I didn’t mean..”

 

“Don’t say anything please.” he snapped. He knew he was being mean but he needed Ian to leave so he could hate himself in private.

 

“It’s..um.. I'm sorry Mickey. I’m just gonna go to bed now .” Ian said warily.

  
  


“Yea you do that” he replied staring at the floor contemplating just walking out the door and never coming back. Ian was right he didn’t need a sitter Veronica was right next door.

 

“Mick?”

 

H glanced up at Ian who was standing at the top of the stairs. “Don’t feel bad. I kinda think you’re cute too” he said with a shy smile “So yea..goodnight I guess?”

 

He said nothing but gave Ian a dismissive wave then waited for him to disappear into his room. He plopped back down on the couch stretching out again and closing his eyes. Holy fucking shit. That was so intense. Ian was beneath him, his lips on his, his tongue..fuck his tongue was touching his. He wanted more, he wanted to see Ian’s flushed face with his dick in his mouth or when he was being fucked.

 

Ugh. Fuck everything.

 

Why was this fucking kid getting to him like this? He wanted to fuck him sure, that was obvious but he wanted more than that. Not that it would even be possible?  Ian wasn’t really that much younger than him right? He was 11 almost 12 and he was 15. Not that big a difference. That meant when Ian was 15 he would be..18. Fuck it this was the South Side. So what if he wanted to be with someone younger than him, it wasn’t that bad right?

 

Mm maybe it was. Ian was innocent..he knew some things but Mickey knew way more. He’d watched plenty of porn and there was also the unspoken things. He knew enough to know what he wanted and that was Ian with his redhair and freckles. Wrong or right. After tonight he had less doubts but still couldn’t help the twinges of guilt he got when he dozed off to the image of Ian above him bouncing on his dick or on his knees looking up at him with big green eyes.

 

...fuck...

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that escalated quickly lol. New chapter coming soon x


	3. One Saturday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian wants to watch Saturday morning cartoons with Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ TAGS
> 
> Yay an update and another on its way. I'm glad you guys are liking this story, we are speeding right along. Thank you for the support xoxo

He was woken up to the sound of a crash in the kitchen. He jumped up from the couch and ran to the entry way. There on the floor was Ian picking up pieces of broken glass.

 

“The fuck did you do?” he says crouching down to pick up the glass. “Back up, you’re gonna cut yourself.” he carefully starts picking up the shards.

 

“It just slipped. I thought I had it but..”

 

“Whatever just go find me a broom or somethin” he replied.

 

He swept up the glass and had Ian just take the trash outside. He looked at the clock it was only 7am and it was fuckin Saturday. He was ready for at least 2 or 3 more hours of sleep. He walked back into the livingroom and again stretched out on the couch he was claiming as his bed. He closed his eyes only for a moment before the loud sound of the TV caused them to pop open. Ian was standing in front of the TV flipping through channels, if this was anything like picking a movie the fucking kid would take forever.

“Gallagher. What are you doin man?” he said sleepily.

 

“It’s Saturday Mick.”

 

“I fuckin know it’s Saturday” he groaned “That’s why I asked what you’re fuckin doin?

 

“Saturday morning Mick? You know cartoons, all morning. Not the stupid ones but the cool ones.” Ian replied.

 

He watched the kid flip through the channels until he landed on the one he wanted. He turned his head to look at the TV and saw a familiar Purple Dog, “Courage?”

 

“Yup. They play it every Saturday, plus Johnny Bravo and Dexter's lab. Like I said the cool ones”

 

“Whatever just keep it down” he replied rolling over again so he was facing the ceiling. He was contently staring at the ceiling trying to will sleep to come back when Ian’s face came into view. “What?” he said gruffly. He was not a morning person, and if he didn’t sleep he would be less of a day person than he normally was too.

 

“Can I sit with you?”

 

“No.” he replied quickly. “Can’t you see I’m lyin down kid. Sit on the fuckin floor.”

 

Ian looked at him and smiled then climbed on top of the couch forcing him to scoot over or he would be on top of him. “The fuck are you doin right now?” he said with frustration because now Ian was laying in front of him on the couch. His backside pressed against his front.

 

“You said I couldn’t sit with you so I’m lying down. Your words Mick” Ian said smugly then scooted against him until he was satisfied with the position.

 

“You..” he started to speak then decided fuck it and lay his head back down.

 

He knew what would happen the moment he got comfortable and tried to relax. Ian had changed into gym shorts so he could feel his skin touching his own as he lay there watching cartoons. He tried not to..he really did but his hand wrapped around the boy and rested on his stomach. He could feel each breath as the boy’s chest moved up and down. He smelled like lemongrass, probably from the shower. It was intoxicating. He found himself drawing small patterns on Ian’s stomach over his shirt. It wasn’t until his hand inched lower that the boy moved pulling him back to reality and away from his thoughts.

 

Ian turned his head to look up at him “What are you doing?”

 

He slowly pulled his hand back embarrassed he had been caught. “Nothing” he replied barely above a whisper stilling his hand.

 

Ian stared at him for a moment then let out a small laugh before turning around. Fucking kid. He knew it, he knew he fucking liked him. Why else would he tease him like that. He rolled on his back again and stared at the ceiling. He willed away every thought that came into his head as Ian laughed at the TV and his body moved against him.

 

He found himself once again with his arm wrapped around the boy lying next to him. Ian didn’t mind this, in fact when he casually placed his hand on the boys side Ian grabbed it and pulled it around him like a seatbelt. Now he was again playing with the cotton fabric covering soft skin. His fingers had a mind of their own...not really. He was curious to see what Ian would allow. So far he was flirty and liked the contact, maybe he would be ok with it. He breathed in deeply then pushed Ian’s shirt up letting his whole hand rest on his warm skin. Ian stilled for a moment causing him to do the same but then he scooted closer to him. OK. That was good right..yea.. This was ok. He started to run his fingers across the boy’s skin feeling the growing hardness in his pants. His fingers crept to the elastic band of Ians gym shorts and he felt like his heart was going to explode it was beating so fast. He looked over at Ian and leaned down so that his lips were next to the boys ear.

 

“Hey” he whispered and Ian turned to face him.

 

“What Mick?”

 

He stared at the boy for a few moments before pressing a kiss into his lips. He pulled back and surveyed the boys face. There was a look of confusion in his eyes but that didn’t stop Ian from leaning forward and kissing him back. Fuck. He moved his hand back up the boys side and up to cup his face. His tongue traced Ian’s lips and the boy allowed him entrance. That was too much. He was slipping away into his want again, before he knew it he was rolling on top of Ian their lips still moving together. His hand moved down his stomach and fingers inched under the elastic band running across velvety smooth skin until..fuck

 

“Mickey I don..”

 

“Shh”  he replied and kissed the boy stifling his protests. He moved his fingers against Ian’s balls just massaging them and feeling his need fueled more with each moment.

 

“Stop..Mick we..”

 

“Ian shut up” he groaned softly and started kissing under the boy's neck causing him to squirm. He didn’t know why that turned him on, Ian squirming beneath him but it did. He moved his hand down further and ran it up the boys legs causing a field of goosebumps to appear on his freckled skin. His cupped the boy’s ass and he knew he was going to fuck him. Not now but it was going to happen.  He pulled his head up and looked down at Ian.

“You ok?”

 

“I..what are you doing? I don’t think we should..”

 

“Mm. Don’t think just shh..” he leaned down and kissed him again causing Ian’s body to relax. Ian raised his hands to rest on his shoulders and squeezed gently as he started to stroke him.

 

“Mickey..it feels.”

 

“It feel good right” he said as he played with Ian’s dick. He watched the boy’s face as he embraced the feeling for the first time. Ian’s eyes fluttered and his mouth hung open.

 

“You like it don’t you?” he stared eagerly at Ian’s  waiting for his answer. He was too far now, he didn’t want to stop.

 

“Yes but..”

 

“It gets better” he replied before he closed his lips against Ians again, stroking him running his hand up his side.

 

“Uh..huh mm” Ian sighed into the kiss.

 

Fuck that was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard. “That’s it.” he purred falling deeper into his lust. Ian moaning below him he knew the boy was close. He wanted to get off too though.

 

"Mickey..i don't..hmm.” Ian moaned breathlessly into his mouth as he quivered under his touch.

 

"stop" he said in a hushed tone. He grabbed Ian’s hand and moved it underneath him until it pressed against the outline in his shorts.

 

“I’ve never. I don’t know what to do” Ian replied pulling away from the kiss..

 

“It’s ok. I do.” He held Ian’s hand and rubbed it against his hardness. It was everything he wanted and more. He quickly reached into his shorts and pulled himself out.

 

Ian stared at him with wide eyes, and he was reminded of his naivety. He was too fuckin cute with that look of confusion and curiosity on his face. “You can touch it. I’m touching you.”

Ian slowly moved his hand up and wrapped his fingers around him.

 

“Fuck” he groaned at the contact. He couldn’t believe this was happening but he wasn’t going to question it. Ian was lost but into it, he was fine with that. He didn’t mind taking  the lead.

 

“Just do what I’m doin, that’s all.” he said as he moved Ians hand “You can do that can’t you?”

 

Ian looked at him and nodded and started moving his back and forth. “ Yea...Like this?”

 

" Mmm hmm...Just like that.” he replied before leaning down and kissing him again. He didn’t know why he could stop kissing him but fuck...it was just a need at this point. Ian’s hand was pumping his dick and he had the boy beneath him, it couldn’t get any better. I mean fucking him would be better but that was a delicate situation, for now this was good.

 

“Mm Mickey..uh fuck” Ian moaned and squeezed his shoulder tight with his free hand. He knew that look.

 

“You’re gonna cum” he said looking down at Ian’s hand on his dick, fuck that was what he needed. “Me too” he sighed.

 

A few strokes later and Ian's face bunched up and he licked his lips before he came in his hand. Ian wasn’t so lucky, because he was above him he came on his stomach, much to the boys dismay.

 

“Seriously Mick? Fucking  gross”  Ian said pushing up on his chest.

 

“You’re kidding right?” he replied and sat up on his knees so Ian could move.

 

“No. It’s gross Mick now I have to shower again” Ian shivered in disgust and stood up from the couch. He looked back at him and gave him a small smile. “So much for cartoons right?” he laughed then ran up the stairs.

 

Holy fuck. He was amazed at how unphased Ian was by all of this, when it was literally driving him insane. Kid still didn’t know what they were doing probably. That’s ok, if he let him he would teach him everything he needed to know.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like the dub/con aspect so moving forward with that angle. Hope you liked let me know. Feel free to suggest too xoxo
> 
> i cant remove the update note for some reason but just expect regular updates. x


	4. "Stop!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is confused and Mickey questions his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for you patience my lovelies. If i say i'm going to update on a certain day..I really mean the day after that lol. I'm trying. I hope you guys enjoy. I'm falling in love with this story!!

Ian always liked Mickey. He was cute and funny and nice to him when he came around. They would play video games and he would treat him like one of the guys, not like his family who acted like he was a hassle. They were always passing him off to random people because they didn’t have time. That’s why he was excited when his sister asked Mickey to babysit. He didn’t need a sitter but it gave him more time to hang out with Mickey so he was down for that. At first he was nervous around him. He noticed when Mickey starred and how he always managed to touch him even if he pretended not to. He was 11 sure but he wasn’t stupid. He didn’t understand why though, why Mickey was always so nice to him or why he wanted him so close and always ended up holding him in his arms. He didn’t mind it, he liked the attention. It helped that Mickey seemed nervous too. He would blush or stammer sometimes when he talked to him.

 

When Mickey kissed him on the lips it took him by surprise. He was flirting but not with any expectation, he was just naturally flirtatious and it was fun to see Mickey flustered. He’d never been kissed before so he didn’t know how amazing it could be. He liked it but then Mickey freaked out and ran away which confused him. They were having a good time he thought. Mickey seemed mad at him after that and he didn’t know why. They were friends and he thought Mickey liked him...why else would he kiss him. He knew what that meant, his sister kissed her boyfriend in front of him all the time. He thought it was gross when they did it but then the older boy kissed him and it made him feel warm inside. Mickey said it was a mistake, an accident but that was a lie. Even he knew you don’t accidently kiss somebody, but now Mickey was acting different. He was acting like he didn’t like him, so he decided to see for himself if it really was a mistake. He was curious. Turns out he was right, Mickey was lying. One moment he was leaning down and kissing him to prove a point the next he was under Mickey his heart racing and his palms sweaty. The older boy was kissing him and touching him and he felt a wave of emotions come over him. He didn’t understand them at first and that scared him. Naturally Mickey freaked out again, he kept saying he was sorry like he did something wrong but he didn’t..at least he didn’t think so. It was just all so new.

 

The next day Mickey was laying on the couch and he looked irritated. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how Mickey’s lips felt against his, it was confusing but he didn’t want it to stop..not really. He decided to try again. He knew if he laid down next to the older boy he would want to hold him. At first Mickey was nervous, so he decided to make the first move and grabbed his hand wrapping it safely around him. He hoped Mickey would realize it was OK and he didn’t have to feel bad about it. He didn’t want to say that though because he was a guy they didn’t talk like that right? Sure enough Mickey read him loud and clear and soon he was on top of him kissing and touching again. Emotions and feelings he never knew were running his body. There were a few times he felt overwhelmed but Mickey told him everything was OK and he trusted him. He was glad he did because when Mickey touched him, even though it was kind of weird it was amazing. It felt fucking awesome and….he felt close to Mickey. Closer than he ever felt to anyone..yea he really liked Mickey.

  


It had been a month since he kissed Mickey. It seemed like every time they get just a little bit closer, their lips move together automatically. His nerves were gone now replaced by only a want for affection and Mickey was more than happy to give that to him. He body lit up when Mickey touched him now and he loved seeing the older boys face when he rubbed up against him, you could say it was becoming addicting. He found himself looking forward to the weekend because he knew he would see Mickey. Fiona usually spent the weekends with her boyfriend which left him and Mickey plenty of time to be together. It was more than that though, yea he liked the sex but what he liked the most is how Mickey was after. They would makeout during a movie or in the middle of playing video games..basically whenever the other made a move. That led to fooling around and after depending on what they were doing they would cuddle. He really liked that. Mickey would hold him close with his strong arms and they would lay on the couch or sometimes he would pull him onto his lap..that usually led to more kissing. In fact that’s what was happening right now.

 

“You taste so fuckin sweet”  Mickey said as he kissed under Ian’s neck.

 

He was straddling Mickeys lap with his head on his shoulder and the older boy was holding his waist as he kissed him. He lifted his head and looked in Mickey’s eyes “Maybe it’s from all the popcorn” he said with a smile causing the older boy to laugh.

 

“Mmm maybe. I think it’s just you” Mickey replied then turned his body so he could push Ian down on the couch.

 

He loved when Mickey was above him, something about it made him feel safe. The older boy leaned down and pressed a kiss into his lips and he wrapped his arms around Mickey’s neck pulling him impossibly closer. Mickey’s hands were moving up under his shirt, his fingers caressing his sides. “Mickey” he sighed into the kiss when he felt his pants being undone.

His body reacted to Mickey’s touch like it was made for it now. The older boy hadn’t even touched his dick yet and he was already hard. He found himself pushing his hips up against Mickey’s hand as the boy tugged his lip between his teeth. Mickey knew how to kiss. He kissed like something from a movie it was amazing, like he couldn’t get enough. He sucked on his lip and his tongue moved against his just enough. He could kiss Mickey forever. “You’re really good at this..kissing” he said shyly staring up at the older boy who was massaging him over his boxers.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself Gallagher.” He smiled. “I like kissin you”

 

His heart fluttered at the words. “Good. I like it too. I really like you Mick.” He replied staring into Mickeys blue eyes .

 

Fuck Ian was too cute. The way he spoke and how he looking at him like that, like he mattered. He never expected this to happen. He wanted it to god yes but when it actually did he felt terrible after. Then Ian came back downstairs from his shower and sat down on the couch next to him. The boy scooted himself into his lap, the turned around and kissed him. It was over after that, he couldn’t get enough. Ian was adorable, sweet, funny just ….fucking perfect.

 

He reached his way into Ian’s boxers and wrapped his hand around his hard dick, swiping his thumb over the tip.

 

“Fuck Mickey” he moaned at the contact. Mickey’s hands were magic, he touched him just right every time “Feels so good”

 

He stiffened in his jeans when he heard Ian’s voice. It was sultry and wanting which was so hot coming from such a beautiful package. Every time Ian cussed or called out his name he felt like he was going to lose it. For being so young the kid was too sexy for his own good, he couldn’t wait to hear what he sounded like when he fucked him. “Hmm” he hummed at the thought as he continued to pump Ian’s dick in his hands.

 

“Mm...uh” he moaned and moved his hands down Mickey’s back so he could lift up his shirt. He pushed up the older boys shirt and dug his fingers into his warm skin.

 

Ian was licking his lips and moving his hips along with his strokes. He leaned down and pushed up his shirt kissing the boys freckled stomach. His skin was so soft and fuck he smelled amazing. He trailed kissed down to Ian’s belly button. He glanced up at Ian laying there and wanted to see all of him. They’d been doing this for long enough, he wanted to kiss Ian’s whole body, tell him how sexy he was. He sat up and reached down grabbing Ian’s jeans and sliding them down his legs.

 

He opened his eyes when he felt his pants coming off, that was new. “What are you doing Mick.  Why can’t…”

 

“Hey, it’s OK, it’s not like I haven’t seen you before right?” he replied as he pulled the boys jeans completely off and threw them on the floor. He went to reach for Ian’s boxers when he touched his shoulder.

 

“How come you still have all your clothes?” he looked at Mickey curiously. If he was going to be naked he didn’t want to be alone.

 

He didn’t think about how hot it would be to actually rub against Ian, skin to skin..he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that to be honest. He really wanted to fuck him but he didn’t want it to be some unprepared accident, if they were naked together...he didn’t trust himself. “Because I wanna see you. All of you” he replied and kissed Ian’s inner thigh causing the boys breath to hitch. He kissed him again then crawled up his body planting a kiss on his lips. “Come on, take em off for me” he whispered.

 

Mickey’s voice was like a drug. He found himself lifting up his butt and pulling down his boxers. He was getting nervous again though. Mickey had seen him but he’d never been ‘naked’ around him, it was a weird feeling.

 

He sat back and looked at Ian, something was missing. Shirt. He grabbed the hem of the boys shirt and slowly pulled it up over his arms. When the neck slid across Ian’s face and over his head messing up his hair he thought he would die. He wanted to put that moment in slow motion. He looked down and marveled at what was before him. Ian was completely naked. His smooth chest and velvet skin were ready and waiting for his touch. “God damn Gallagher.” he sighed leaning down and kissing his chest. “You’re fuckin hot a hell. So just..mmm” he started planting kisses around Ian’s bare chest. Seeing Ian lying there naked, he decided he wanted to taste him. He wanted to see Ian’s body squirm when his lips were wrapped around him..fuck that was going to be so sexy.. Ian’s hands were on his shoulders gently squeezing and he kissed, sucked and gently bit his way down. He kissed his pelvis admiring the soft little field of red hair that rest their. He started to move down when he felt Ian whole body tense up.

 

“I don’t like that” he replied pushing at Mickey’s shoulders. He couldn’t understand why the older boys face was so close to his dick, hands were one thing but this was too weird. “Let’s go back to kissing” he said sweetly.

 

“I just wanna taste you. I thought you trusted me” he said gently as he looked into green eyes. He KNEW Ian would like this. He would love it. “It’s OK”  He pressed a small kiss on his shaft and Ian lost it.

 

“No Mickey don’t!” he shouted pushing at the older boy. He didn’t know what he was doing he just knew it made him really uncomfortable. He just wanted to keep doing what they were doing, it was nice. He knew what is was..mostly. This though.. why was Mickey trying to change it all of sudden?

 

He was trying not to be annoyed. He understood this was new to Ian. He wanted to do it though and if he would just fucking let him, it would be ok. “Stop freakin out” he replied and leaned up giving Ian a kiss. The younger boy relaxed into the kiss and arms wrapped around him again.

 

“I like this Mick. Can we pleeease just keep kissing?” He felt like a baby but he really didn’t want to do whatever Mickey was trying to do and he wanted him to know that.

 

He smiled and gave Ian another small kiss. “I want to kiss you Ian. I just wanna kiss you somewhere else.” he grabbed Ian’s dick and started massaging it. “ Trust me alright. You’ve liked everything else.”

He sat up then moved back down and without a word wrapped his lips around the boys hardening cock.

 

“No” he pushed at Mickey and started squirming , it felt wrong and he didn’t like it. He wanted it to stop and Mickey wasn’t listening. “I don’t like it Mickey. Stop it”

 

“Ian shut up and just relax! Jesus fuck” he snapped not understanding why the kid was making this such a big deal. He thought they were past this, they had been fooling around for a fucking month. He ignored him and tried another approach and kissed his tip.

 

He didn’t know why but Mickey’s voice hit just the right spot, that combined with him already being uncomfortable and Mickey ignoring him he couldn’t stop it and started to break down.

 

He felt it first, Ian’s body moving faster than it should. His pulse speeding up. Then he heard it, Ian was crying.

 

Holy shit!

 

He moved back to look at the young boy and there were tears streaming down his beautifully innocent face. Ian turned away from him and suddenly he felt disgusting. He wasn’t trying to force him into it, he didn’t do that? Did he.. Ian was reminding him of how he was back then and he felt like he was going to be sick. He needed to leave, to go outside..he couldn’t breathe. He quickly stood up from the couch. He grabbed his smokes from the table and ran out the back door not looking back.

 

He heard Mickey leave and was even more confused. He didn’t mean to cry but it was too much at once. It was all moving so fast and he wanted Mickey to like him. When he yelled at him, Mickey made him feel like everyone else did, like he was a hassle. When he didn’t listen, it made him feel like Mickey didn’t really care about him. He didn’t cry very often but when he did he hated people seeing it. He didn’t want Mickey to see him cry and treat him like a child because he wasn’t. He wasn’t a fucking child. He knew what he wanted and that was Mickey, he just didn’t know what Mickey wanted...now he didn’t even know if he still liked him. Was he coming back or did he scare him away just like everybody else? That thought made his eyes water again but he took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. He was OK.

 

He took a drag of his cigarette with shaky hands. What was he doing? Ian was too young for this shit right? He was and he crossed a line. He wasn’t his father, he wasn’t. He...he thought it was OK. Ian seemed like he enjoyed it, like he wanted it as much as he did. He thought he wanted to be with him. They had been doing whatever this was every weekend since that first night. It was fucking perfect. Ian would climb in his lap and kiss him like he had been doing it forever, he would touch him and make him feel good and he would say things that almost made him blush...he didn’t of course. They would lay together and watch movies or TV and Ian would hold his hand...what was he thinking? He was delusional. Ian was a kid and he was...fuck he was his babysitter. He took advantage of him pure and simple and he went too far this time. Well luckily there wouldn’t be another time, he was done. He would just keep his distance as much as he could, re establish boundaries. Clearly Ian was in over his head and it was his responsibility to stop. He finished his cigarette and walked inside.

 

Ian was sitting on the couch still in his birthday suit. “You OK?” he said softly grabbing the boys clothes from the floor.

 

“Yea I’m fine. I’m sorry I just..”

 

“No don’t apologize. Here” he handed the boy his clothes averting his eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Just get dressed alright.” Ian grabbed the clothes from his hand and he turned and walked to the kitchen. He went over to the fridge and pulled out a beer then leaned against the counter waiting for Ian to be dressed.

 

Mickey couldn’t even look at him. He told him not to apologize but was he mad at him? He got dressed and grabbed the remote from the table. He flipped through the channels until he found Tosh.0. He loved that show. He looked over to the kitchen and saw Mickey throwing a can in the trash and walking back to the living room. The older boy sat down and the end of the couch so he crawled over to him and leaned against his shoulder.

 

“Ian don’t” he said and shrugged the boy off his shoulder. “Go sit over there OK.” he pointed to the other end of the couch.

 

“But Mick, I want to sit here. I want to cuddle with you.” he said staring at the older boy with confusion.

 

He breathed deeply trying not to let the needy sound in Ian’s voice get to him but that was a losing battle. “You can’t OK. I shouldn’t have let you to begin with. Just go”

 

He looked down at the floor and told himself to hold it together. The last thing he needed was to give Mickey another reason to not like him. He looked up at him one more time but Mickey made sure to avoid his gaze so he slowly scooted down to the end of the couch laying his head on the arm. He didn’t like this at all, he wanted to take it all back. If he had a genie he would wish for a do over and tell Mickey to do whatever he wanted to, he was right. He liked everything else so why did he have to make it such a big deal. He glanced over at the older boys who was staring at the TV but he looked sad, not upset...so why was he being weird? “Hey Mick” he lifted his head. “Are you mad at me..you know for what happened?”

 

He felt even worse now. Ian was blaming himself when it wasn’t his fault. All of it, everything was his fault. He needed to go back to how it was before. He could do it. “No buddy.” he replied. “I’m not mad at you.” he paused because he really liked Ian..even if he shouldn’t he just did. “I said you didn’t do anything wrong didn’t I?”

 

“Yea”

 

“Alright then.” He couldn’t take the look Ian was giving him. He grabbed his phone from the table it was only 10pm. He let Ian stay up with him later than this but he was ready to end this day. “You should go get ready for bed kid.”

 

There it was. Buddy, Kid. He was treating him like a child again. It wasn’t even that late he didn’t think. He sat up and glanced over to Mickey’s phone reading the clock. “It’s only 10:15pm Mick? Why do I have to go to bed?”

 

“ cause I’m fuckin tired. So go upstairs at least. I don’t care if you go to sleep or not, just go so I can.” he replied sharply.

 

“But Miickeeey” he whined “I want to stay down here with you”

 

He was too fucking adorable the way he was pouting. He probably knew it to, he just wanted to grab him and kiss the pout off his face. He stood up from the couch and rubbed his knuckle under his nose. “Come on kid. I’m tired. I don’t want to argue with you.”

 

“Fine!” he shouted and stood up from couch. He headed to the stairs but something was bugging him. He turned to Mickey who had was still standing there watching “I’m not a fucking kid”

 

He sucked in his lip so he wouldn’t say anything. Ian was a kid, that’s why he was a terrible person. Ian watched him for a few moments then rolled his eyes and ran up the stairs. “Fuuck” he sighed and plopped down on the couch. He was still scolding himself, letting his mind convince him he was just like his dad, he was bad. He took advantage of Ian. It didn’t matter if he actually liked the kid, not like they could be together right? People wouldn’t get it.

 

Fuck everything. He didn’t know up from down right now.

 

He stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes. He just wanted this weekend to be over.

 

*****

 

He thought it would get easier. He would tell himself everyday that he didn’t like Ian, that he was younger than him and he was a bad person for thinking otherwise. He repeated that in his head when he came by during the week to get his sister and Ian asked if he wanted to stay and play video games. He would tell him no and leave.

 

When he spent the night on the weekends it was more difficult. They would be sitting there watching TV and Ian would slowly scoot closer to him and he would have to tell him to back up, to go away, to give him some fuckin space. He didn’t want to be mean but Ian would not give up, he would smile at him and try it again. Being a jerk was his last resort but it was the one that worked..at least the first few times. When that stopped working he basically chose not to sit down, he would hang out in the kitchen or sit outside on the steps. The one thing that always worked was sending Ian upstairs, then he could A. sit down and B. not have to see Ian’s beautiful..no Ian’s face looking so upset.

 

******

Mickey was over him. He didn’t understand how one incident could just stop everything. It wasn’t just the kisses and cuddling but everything. He used to hang out with him when he came by to grabbed Mandy. He would joke with him and play a few rounds, now it was like he was in and out. The weekend was the worst though. He used to look forward to it and now it just made him sad. Mickey didn’t want to hold him or even sit next to him. Everytime he tried to get close to him he would send him away. That didn’t stop him though, not until Mickey got mad. It’s not that he was scared, he’d been yelled at before. He just didn’t like seeing the older boy upset, especially if he was the reason so he would give up..at least for the time being.

 

He missed Mickey. He didn’t understand why he felt the need to have the older boy’s attention, he never felt that way with anyone before. Yea he liked attention but he didn’t need it. He did with Mickey. He wanted to at least be able to have a conversation like before.

 

It was another Friday night. He was on one side of the couch and Mickey was on the other. They were watching something Mickey picked out that he didn’t really understand but it was funny. Mickey liked it, he would laugh now and then so he thought this would be a good time to try again.

 

“So why did they kidnap that guy I don’t get it?” he said and turned his head to look at Mickey.

 

He laughed at the question. “He’s the son of that dude who ripped them off” he popped a handful of popcorn in his mouth “Remember in the beginning when they met with that old dude to sell those shower things?”

 

“Yea?”

 

“Well the fucker ripped him off so they kidnapped his son” he replied.

 

“Oh. Ok. I get it now. Thanks Mickey” he said sweetly. Mickey smiled at him then swallowed another handful of popcorn. He wanted to try again. He slowly sat up and scooted over until Mickey looked at him.

 

“Ian..”

 

“What?” he said innocently. “You’re the one over here hoggin all the popcorn. Not cool Mick.” he reached into the bowl and grabbed a handful before leaning back against the couch. Mickey smiled at him and let out a small laugh but said nothing returning his attention to the movie. He felt giddy inside. This is the closet he’d been to Mickey in what seemed like forever. He sat there eating popcorn and laughing with the older boy, it was almost like it used to be before everything got confusing.

 

He was getting tired and Mickey looked really soft, he knew he was. They had been talking and Mickey was smiling at him like he used to so maybe everything was ok. He hadn’t pushed him away yet. He carefully scooted closer until he could lean against the older boy. He rest his head on his arm and it was just liked he remembered, soft and he smelled like clean laundry and popcorn. He looked up at Mickey who was still staring at the TV. He wanted to cuddle, to kiss, to touch. He wanted Mickey so he leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

 

“The fuck Ian” Mickey jumped up from the couch and glared at him. “What are you doin?”

 

“I thought...I want to kiss you.” he said sincerely crossing his arms and leaning back in the couch.

 

“How many times I gotta tell you kid. That’s not gonna happen again so knock it off.” Mickey rubbed his forehead and looked to the stairs.

 

He knew he was about to send him to bed. That’s what happened now. He didn’t go to sleep just sat there thinking about why he liked Mickey so much and why he didn’t like him. Ugh. This was so stupid. “Miickey” he whined “Pleease just sit with me.” he patted the couch next to him.

 

“No Ian. Why don’t you..”

 

“What? Go upstairs.” he said sarcastically. “Whatever man” he stood up from the couch but he was irritated. He wanted Mickey to pay attention to him. He looked at the bowl of popcorn on table then up at Mickey and smiled then reached out and tipped it onto the floor.

 

“What the hell Ian. Why would you do that?” Mickey exclaimed crouching down on his knees to pick up the popcorn. “Damn it. Now I have to vacuum. Just fuckin go upstairs”

 

“Let me help you. It was my fault” he said hoping Mickey would agree and he could spend more time with him.

 

“I got it, please go to bed”

 

That got him nowhere. Now he had to start over. He didn’t want to go to bed, he wanted Mickey! He sat down on the couch and Mickey looked at him and sighed. He pursed his lips and started fiddling with his hands “ Hey Mickey?” he said softly because he knew the older boy was irritated.

 

“What?” Mickey said sharply lifting his head.

 

He crossed his legs and sat up straight looking Mickey in the face. “Why don’t you wanna be my boyfriend? I thought you liked me” He smiles and bats his eyes “Don’t you think I’m cute?”

 

Mickey’s eyes softened and he laughed. “You know you’re fuckin cute.” he said then glanced to the side. He licked his lips then looked back at him “Why you still sittin there? Go on. Go to bed.”

 

“Goodnight I guess” he said defeated and slid of the couch.

 

“Night”

 

****

 

It had been about 2 hours since Mickey exiled him to his room. The TV was on downstairs and he could hear the fridge open, Mickey was still awake. He couldn’t sleep. Mickey smiled at him like he did before, he did think he was cute. He noticed that about Mickey, he told him he was cute or adorable a lot. That was easy, he could be cute on purpose. He thought about what would get Mickey’s attention. He could sneak up and jump on him, that would be fun.

 

He carefully made his way down the stairs and tiptoed behind the couch where Mickey was lying down. He got down on his hands and knees so Mickey wouldn’t see him and crawled over to the arm of the couch where his head was resting. 1..2..”boo!” he yelled jumping up.

 

“Fuck!” he shouted and sprang up from the couch. He turned to see Ian standing there with a cat like grin on his face. “Why aren’t you in bed?” he replied trying to regain his composure.

 

“I got you Mick! “ he laughed “You jumped .”

 

“What?” he scoffed. “I did not”

 

“Yes you did Mickey don’t lie” he said walking in front of the boy and crossing his arms. “You jumped and screamed like a little girl.”

 

What? No. “Fuck off with that man” he replied trying not to blush from embarrassment.

 

He sat down on the table and looked at Mickey. “Did you know you turn pink when you’re embarrassed? It’s kind of cute.” he looked down at the ground then up at the older boy through his lashes. “Just sayin..”

 

He grabbed Ian and pulled him into his lap. “You’re a dick! Did you know that?” he laughed. “Lets see how you fuckin like it, I bet your ass turns pink too.” He started tickling the boys sides.

 

“Fuck Mickey. S..stop” he laughed squirming under the boys touch but he didn’t listen.

 

“Not so funny now hmm?” he replied and grinned as Ian tried to shy away from him.

 

“Stop..truce.” He yelled and pushed Mickey back on the couch. He stared at the older boy, their eyes fixed for several seconds before pressing their lips together. Mickey’s hands dropped to his waist and gripped firmly, the way he liked it. The older boy’s tongue entered his mouth and began swirling around his. He brought his hand up to rest on Mickey face.

 

“Mm” he hummed as he kissed Ian. He fucking missed this. He felt Ian’s hand on his cheek and opened his eyes. Wait..Fuck. What was he doing? “Hey” he said softly and gently pushed Ian up forcing himself to look into green doe eyes. “We..I can’t I’m sorry” he replied standing up, Ian slipping off his lap.

 

“Why?” he said dejectedly because he was so close. “What did I do?”

 

“For the last fuckin time Ian. You didn’t do anything, this is my fault.” he sighed and rubbed his nose. “Look..just cause we can’t fool around don’t mean we can’t be friends.” He wanted that, to be able to joke and hangout. It would be good for both of them. “You gotta stop tryin to make it more though.”

 

He was mad. He didn’t want to be just friends. What the hell? Mickey’s the one who started this shit, made him think he liked him and now he just decides he doesn’t. “Yea..sure Mick.” he says softly says rolling his eyes.

 

“Ian.”

 

“Goodnight Mickey.” he says walking over to the stairs.

 

“Night”

 

*****

 

He looked at his clock it was 5:30pm. He was supposed to be at Ian’s house by 6:15pm but he really didn’t want to go. He had thought about telling Fiona he couldn’t sit anymore but not only did he enjoy the extra cash. He liked seeing Ian. It was harder now though. It happened less but Ian still flirted with him and tested his conviction. So he decided this weekend he would bring his sister. This way Ian had his friend to hang out with and he would be able to ignore his advances.

 

“So pizza should be here in like 30 minutes. You guys wanna play a game or somethin?” he said stretching his legs out on the coffee table.

 

“Like what?” Mandy said looking at him.

 

“Fuck if I know, just thought that’s what you guys did.”

 

“No we usually play video games but we could play a game. I think we have monopoly.” Ian replied then stood up from the couch walking to the closet under the stairs. “That or...cards.”

 

He looked at his sister. “What do you want?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders, “We could play go fish”

 

“Seriously Mandy?” Ian sighed and shook his head at his friend. “How about blackjack.” he looked over at Mickey. “You know how to play that right?”

 

“Uh..yea.” he replied because he’s seen his brothers play but he had never actually done it.

 

“Good. Let’s play.” Ian said as he began to shuffle the deck. “Winner gets to pick the movie.” He’d played with his brother and Mike before so he figured he had the advantage. He dealt them all two cards then looked at Mickey. “Hit or stay?”

 

He really didn’t know how to play this game but he wasn’t about to tell someone who was younger than him that. He looked at his sister who gave him a ‘don’t look at me’ look and sucked in his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Hit?”

 

Ian looked at the older boys cards. He had an Ace and a 2. He dealt him a 9. “Beginners luck” he said with a smile then turned to his friend “How bout you Mands..hit or stay?”

 

“Stay.” He looked at Mandy’s cards. She had a Jack and a 8. “Good call.” he replied then flipped his cards over. He had an Ace and a 3 so he grabbed another card. It was  6. “Damn it” he whined and looked at Mickey “You won.”

 

“I did?” he looked his cards then at his sisters. “What about Mandy?”

 

“The goal is to get 21.” Ian replied. “She got 18 and I got 20. So you won.”

 

“Nice man. Let’s go again then. Best 2 out of 3” he replied. “I’m gonna get a beer first though. He stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. This was fun. Ian hadn’t hit on him and with Mandy there he wasn’t solely focused on how adorable Ian was when he whined about losing. Plus..he liked winning. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and two cokes before heading back to the living room. “Here” He handed Ian a soda then turned to his sister.

 

The only thing on the table was the movie choice so it was no surprise that Blackjack is addicting. He could see now why people gambled. He won a second time, then Mandy. 2 out of 3 turned into who wins the most out of 10 games. The pizza had arrived and they were on the last game. He was winning but Ian was close behind. This was the last round. He bust with 24. Mandy ended with 12..she didn’t seem to get the game. Ian though, was good at it. The little shit got 21.

 

“That’s it! I win. I pick the movie.” Ian exclaimed wiping the deck of cards across the table. He looked over at Mickey who was smiling as he drank his beer. He felt bad that he wished Mandy wasn’t here. He had thought about it and wanted to talk to Mickey. He might not know exactly what to say but maybe if the older boy knew he REALLY liked him then he would like him back. He did before.

 

“Clean this shit up and we can watch a movie.” he replied pointing to the mess of cards and the paper plates on the table.

 

“Ooh Ian we should watch Guardians of the Galaxy.” Mandy said as she gathered their plates and heading towards the trash. “Chris Pine is sexy as fuck.”

 

He looked over to his friend and rolled his eyes. “I was thinkin more like a scary movie.” he glanced over at Mickey. “It will be fun Mandy. We’ll turn off the lights and Mick will make us popcorn right?”

 

This was a bad idea. “Maybe we should hold off on a scary movie and pick somethin else.” He replied.

 

“Nope. I won and I want a scary movie.” Ian said reaching for the remote. He went to the movie section and scrolled through until he found the perfect one. “This one.”

 

“Annabelle? That doll looks fuckin creepy” Mandy replied scooting back in the couch.

 

“That’s the point of a scary movie Mands.”

 

“Fine whatever” Mandy pulled her legs underneath her and look up at him. “So...popcorn?”

 

He rolled his eyes. “What do I look like a fuckin nanny?”

 

“Yea” both kids replied.

 

“Fuckin stupid.” he scoffed but there was no venom in his voice. He walked into the kitchen and heated up 2 bags of kettle corn and grabbed another beer. Fiona must have caught on because there was always beer stocked on the weekends where before there were just a few in the back.

He walked into the living room. Ian had already shut off the light. He sat the popcorn on the table and looked to his sister who already looked scared watching the previews. “Move over” he said to Ian and sat between the two so if needed he could comfort his sister. He didn’t normally do that shit because nowadays he had no reason to, but it was dark and the movie looked really fuckin creepy. Ian had some kind of obsession with scary shit. Whatever.

 

****

He found himself watching most of the movie peeking between his fingers. His friend had made her way over to her brother and was pressed firmly into the couch by his arm, her hand covering her face as well. He was jealous. He wanted to cuddle with Mickey. He scooted close to the older boy who immediately noticed. “Did you see the thing with the baby Mick? That was insane.” he said softly leaning into the boys arm.

 

He couldn’t push Ian away and let his sister snuggle against him. To be honest he liked the contact from both and if it was up to him he would shut this shit off. Not the kind of thing to watch in the dark before bed. He may be older but that didn’t mean he didn’t have nightmares..he was human. That dolls fuckin face. Nope fuckin creepy shit. Ian was holding his arm and resting his head on his shoulder. It took everything he had to not turn and kiss him, pull him into his lap and hold him as they both jumped at the movie.

 

His arm was feeling numb, he looked over and saw his sister had fallen asleep. He carefully pulled out his arm and scooted over forgetting Ian was on the other side and sat on his hand.

 

“Hey” he said pulling his hand from under Mickey. He stretched his arms above his head and leaned forward to see his friend asleep on the couch. He laughed and leaned back. Mickey was staring in front of him watching the credits roll on the movie, he was clearly uncomfortable. He turned and tapped his shoulder. “Can I talk to you about somethin?”

 

“Sure. What?” he said looking down and Ian.

 

“Can we go upstairs. It’s private.” Ian replied.

 

He scratched the back of his neck “Uh I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

“Pleeease Mickey.” he whined and pouted his lip. “It’s important OK. I really need to talk to you.”

 

“Fuck fine. Let’s go” he conceded and stood up from the couch. He walked over to the stairs and turned to make sure Ian was following. He walked into the boys bedroom and sat down on his bed. Ian sat down right next to him so he scooted over. “What’s so important we had to come up here to talk about it?” he sighed.

 

You can do it. You’re not a kid, your birthday is next week. You can do it. “I like you Mickey and..”

 

He put his hand up to stop Ian before he started “Ian.. stop”

 

“No!” he said and stood up from the bed. Mickey was going to listen. “You stop Mickey. Stop pretending you don’t like me. I know you do.”

 

“It’s not that simple Ian. You don..”

 

“I’m not done.” he replied quickly. “I miss you Mick, this is just really weird and I want it to go back. I freaked out and I’m sorry I should have trusted you.”

 

He still thought it was his fault, fuckin A. “It wasn’t your fault”

 

“It is Mick. I like it, all of it.” he reached out and put his hand on Mickey’s leg. “I want to be with you, whatever that means. Please can we have a do over?”

 

“I don’t know” he hesitated. “I’m older than you..”

 

“So?” he countered. “Fiona’s boyfriend is older than her. “I’m not a child, you didn’t make me do anything. I wanted to.”

 

He looked over at Ian, his freckled face riddled with determination, his eyes sincere. He looked down at the ground for a few seconds then he turned to the boy and closed the distance between them locking their lips together. Ian’s lips were salty and sweet like coca cola. “Fuck” he sighed into the boy's mouth as he felt the electricity climbing through his body that he only felt when Ian touched him. He pushed the boy on his back and climbed onto the bed straddling him. He buried his face in his neck taking in the shower smell and his soft skin under his lips. He lifted his head and looked at Ian. “Missed you”

 

“You did?” he replied sliding his hands under Mickey’s shirt.

 

“Yea man. I like you too.” He smiled. He believed Ian when he said he wanted him. He didn’t feel bad anymore. “We can’t do this though.”

 

“What?” he said with annoyance. “Why the hell not Mickey I told you..”

 

“No not that.” he replied giving the boy a reassuring kiss. “My sisters here.”

 

“And?”

 

“And what if she wakes up and comes up here?”

 

“Lock the door then Mick duh” he said sarcastically staring up at the older boy.

 

“Ian we could get..”

 

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t care Mick. Just shut the fuckin door.” he replied.

 

“Oh yea tough guy?” he laughed. Something about when Ian spoke like that it went straight to his dick.

 

“Miick. Come on.” he said pouting his lip.

 

He licked his lips then glanced at the door. “You’re a fuckin brat” he replied climbing off the boy and walking to the door shutting and locking it.

 

“I know you like it Mickey. Don’t lie. You think I’m cute” Ian replied as he pulled off his pants. Mickey stood there staring at him so he pulled off his shirt as well. This time he didn’t feel weird being completely naked but he still wanted Mickey to be too.

 

This fuckin kid was literally going to kill him. It was like he was seeing him naked for the first time. “No. I don’t think you’re cute” he replied walking towards Ian and climbing on the bed. He looked down at him “I think you’re perfect.”

 

He felt hot and knew he was blushing. He reached out and grabbed Mickey shirt and slowly started lifting it anticipating being stopped. Instead Mickey lifted his arms and pulled his shirt off tossing it on the floor. “Jesus Mick” he said running his hand down the older boy’s chest. “Why have you never taken your shirt off before?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. It never really occurred to him, he was more focused on Ian. He leaned down and captured the boys lips in a kiss as he reached down between his legs to touch his hard cock.

 

“Hmm” he sighed because he missed Mickey touch. His own wasn’t the same.

 

He started pumping Ian and watched as his face flushed and he licked his lips. His memory was nothing like the real thing not even close. He scooted down and kissed Ian’s stomach looking up into his green eyes. He didn’t know what it was about this kid but it was there. He could get lost in his eyes. Was he supposed to feel that way? He didn’t care, he just didn’t want to lose it again. He approached the boys belly button and crawled back up his body to kiss under his neck.

 

“Mm Mickey. Feels so good” he moaned. He loved when Mickey kissed his body, it was like little shocks of electricity that made his head spin. Mickey was getting closer to him like before but this time he stopped and started kissing under his jaw. “I..its OK.”he said barely above a whisper. He was still nervous but he trusted Mickey. The older boy looked up and him with curiosity. “You know..that thing.” he replied. “You can do it. It’s OK.”

 

Ian was telling him he could blow him. He really wanted to but after last time he was apprehensive. “You sure?”

 

“Yea I wanna try. Do it”

 

He felt a wide smile spread across his face. “I promise you’ll like it.” he replied then he kissed Ian’s neck again and slowly his lips crept down over his silky smooth skin until he was hovering over his dick. He looked up at the boy and kissed the tip. Ian kept his eyes locked on him so he went for it and parted his lips slipping them over the head until he encased him completely. He slowly began to move his head up and down, his lips brushing against Ian’s shaft.

 

Wow. OK. This was...this was really great actually. At first it was really fucking weird and he couldn’t get passed that last time but now he was happy he did. It felt better than when Mickey touched him. The older boys mouth was warm and wet wrapped around him and he was doing something with his tongue that..”Fuck Mickey.” he moaned and felt his hands moving down. He started running his fingers through the boy’s black hair as he continued to suck on him. “Mm ..uh” he licked his lips feeling that feeling in his body and wanted more.

 

Ian was moaning and moving above him just like he knew he would. He could feel the boys hands on his head timidly pressing down and his dick started to leak. He could tell Ian was close and pulled his head so he could stroke him but kept his lips over the tip.

 

“M..Mickey. I’m gonna..hmm” He threw his head back on the pillow and gripped Mickey’s hair tightly as he came. It was more intense than anytime before and he knew this was now his new favorite thing. Mickey lifted his head and crawled back up his body until he was staring into his eyes.

 

“What I tell you?” he said smugly.

 

“I really liked it” Ian replied.

 

“Yea..I knew you would” he replied then leaned down to kiss the boys lips. Ian let him and he couldn’t help the way his dick twitched knowing he was kissing him right after he came in his mouth. It was the hottest thing he could think of right now.

 

He pulled away from the salty kiss and wiped his lips. “It’s my turn now right?”

 

………. “Uh I mean..you don’t have to.” He honestly wasn’t expecting that, a hand job would be fine and even he just wanted to get Ian off. The thought though fuck…

 

“You did. I can do it.” he replied with certainty. “That’s how it works right?”

 

“Right” he replied. Ian nodded then reached for his belt..holy shit...the boy undid his belt and unzipped his jeans before pulling them off. He glanced at him as he down his boxers. Leaving him now butt ass naked. Ian grabbed his dick and started stroking it.

 

He was so nervous. It must not be that gross if Mickey wanted to do it so badly. What if he did it wrong though. He looked at Mickey’s dick it was bigger than his. This was the first time he actually looked at it instead of just touching it. He looked up at Mickey and pushed him back so he was on top of him now.

 

Ian on top of him with his dick in his hand was the perfect picture. He couldn’t wait for him to be on top riding him..no. Slow down...he wanted to fuck him though and moments like this really tested him. He stared up at Ian as the boy timidly repeated the same things he did. Ian stroked him then kissed the side of his shaft his green eyes locked on his own. He nodded in approval and Ian kissed the tip of his dick. “Fuck” he groaned which seemed to motivate the boy above him. Ian slowly open his mouth and he watched as the head of his dick slid between his pink lips. “Mmm fucck Ian.” His mouth was fucking amazing. It was moist and tight around him. The boy moved slowly up and down maintaining eye contact as if constantly checking if he was doing it right. For some reason that was really getting to him. He wanted to tell Ian how fuckin hot he looked with his dick in his mouth but he would save that for next time. Ian’s tongue started moving around him and he couldn’t take it. He reached down and grabbed the boy crashing their lips together. He moved his hands down to cup Ian’s ass.  He looked up at Ian “I want you to ride me? Can you do that?”

 

He was confused again. “What do you mean?”

 

He was breathing heavily thinking about it. “Just sit there you know...and move your hips.”

 

“Oh” he said with a smile and started moving his hips.

 

“Not..” he scooted up so that Ian’s ass was directly above him. “Ok. That’s good” he said softly.

 

He could feel Mickey dick against his cheeks which he wasn’t sure how he felt about. He didn’t know why but he wanted to try whatever Mickey wanted so he slowly started moving his hips.

 

“Hmmm” he groaned and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. The feeling of Ian rubbing against him...he wasn’t going to last long.

 

He watched Mickey’s face as he moved against him. He was so hot with his blue eyes and black hair. He loved how his eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting his lip. Whatever he was doing must feel good so he wanted to do it better. He leaned forward resting his hands on Mickey chest and started grinding down against him. Now he felt it too, his dick rubbing against Mickey. He moved faster.

 

He opened his eyes and Ian was moving fast against him and he could tell he knew what was happening now. He pulled him down into a kiss and grabbed his ass pushing him down against him.

 

“Mickey.” he sighed because he was going to cum again. He didn’t know there were so many ways to do this but he was glad Mickey was doing it with him. “Mmm” he sighed as he felt the warmth over him again.

 

He rolled his hips up against Ian so close. He heard Ian moan above him then felt the hotness of his cum spilling onto his stomach and that did it. “Shiit” he came on Ian’s ass. He waited for the boy to complain but he just fell limp on top of him. “That was amazing” he whispered and kissed Ian’s cheek.

 

“Mmm” he replied because it was but now he was beat. He was lying in his and Mickey’s mess but he didn’t want to move even if it was gross.

 

He grabbed a shirt from the floor and rolled Ian off of him and wiped his stomach. “Go take a shower”

 

“Come with me”

 

He thought for a moment. “Hold on.” He walked over to the door and carefully opened it walking to the corner of the stairs. Mandy had stretched out on the couch and was fast asleep. He turned and Ian was standing naked in the doorway. He smiled. “OK let’s go”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. You're Mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian celebrates his birthday and Mickey gets drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!! Thank you for your patience. I know it's been FOREVER on my updates but things are better now so full speed ahead lol. I hope you enjoy this one, i really want to capture the youth of both characters since they are engaging in such an adult way. This is a new experience for both, and life as a teenager can be confusing. xoxo

Ian walked around the living room making conversation with his friends. He was looking around for his boyfriend but he was nowhere to be seen. He knew Mickey was here because Mandy was. Plus it was his birthday so he had to be here. He made his way into the kitchen to see Mickey with his older brother Iggy and his sister Fiona sitting at the table drinking beers. He walked over to the table with a wide grin and grabbed Mickey’s hand stepping close. “Hey Mick” he said sweetly, leaning in close to Mickey’s face. He smiled and raised his brow “You wanna watch me destroy the pinata? It’s Michelangelo my favorite turtle. I thought maybe..”

Mickey jerked his hand away from Ian and put it up as a barrier. Ian couldn’t do that shit, not with all these people. What was wrong with him? “Fuck No. That’s sounds miserable.”

“Come on Mickey. Don’t be such a dick. It’s his birthday man” Iggy said elbowing his brothers shoulder. “Go watch him, it’s what you do anyway right.” 

He knew his brother just wanted him to leave so he could hit on Fiona which was pointless but Iggy was an idiot.

“I don’t want to though.” He turned to Ian and took a sip of his beer. “Just go back to your party kid.”

Seriously? “I told you not to fucking call me that didn’t I.” Ian snapped crossing his arms petulantly.

“I know it’s your birthday hon but watch your mouth” Fiona said looking at her little brother. He was scowling and he rolled his eyes at her.

Ian turned back to Mickey. “No why should I?” he grabbed Mickey’s hand again “I’m not a kid or your fuckin buddy, I’m..”

“OK fuck fine. Just shut up” Mickey replied jumping up from his chair and placing a hand on Ian’s shoulder. 

“You watch yourself too kid. You’re a guest” Iggy commented.

He gave his brother a sarcastic smile. “Whatever” His eyes darted over to Ian. “Let’s go.” Ian smiled then turned to walk away. He followed the boy out into the living room. Ian stopped at the couch where the pinata was hanging but he kept walking to the door “Aye Gallagher, before you do that how bout you come outside with me.”

“But Why? We’re about to break the pinata Mick?” Ian pouted leaning over the couch.

He rubbed his knuckle to his nose and licked his lips “Just fuckin do it alright” he replied opening the door. Ian looked at him curiously before following him outside and down the stairs.

“Why are we out..” 

“Just walk with me” He said shortly walking around to the side of the house. He pushed Ian up against the side wall then locked their lips together. He ran his hands through Ian’s hair and his lips moved to his neck, his hands slowly started moving down his sides and under the hem of his shirt. “Can’t do that again man” he said pulling away fixing his gaze with Ian’s. “You understand me?”

“Do what?” Ian replied trying to catch his breath Mickey was making him feel dizzy but in a good way. “All I did was ask you to hang out with me?”

“No” Mickey replied before sucking a small patch of freckled skin in his mouth causing Ian’s breath to hitch. “You grabbed my hand.” He pulled back and look at Ian. “You were about to say I was your boyfriend weren’t you?”

“You are Mick so why not?” Ian asked with confusion. 

He stepped back and laughed because he should have known the kid didn’t understand. “People just wouldn’t get. If anyone found out they wouldn’t let me watch you anymore. We couldn’t be together“ he replied and brushed Ian’s cheek with his thumb. “Is that what you want?”

Of course that’s not what he wanted but why did Mickey think that? “No I don’t but Fiona won’t care Mick, she likes you.” He reached out to hold his boyfriends hand but it was slapped away. “Hey!” 

“Hey what?” Mickey said tilting his head expectantly but Ian just stared at him. “It really doesn’t matter if you think they won’t care Ian, I know they will so don’t fuckin tell anyone.”

He rolled his eyes and took a step closer to the older boy. “What about Mandy? I can tell her right? She’s my best friend, I tell her everything.”

“No. Especially not Mandy Ian.”

“But why?”

“Because I said so Gallagher” he snapped and crossed his arms “If you can’t do this then we’re done. We’ll just break up now and forget this ever happened. I thought you were mature enough to keep a secret but my mistake.”

Ian reached out and frantically wrapped his arms around Mickey looking up at his irritated face. “I can Mick. I can keep a secret I just don’t understand why. Please don’t break up with me. I really like you.”

He pushed the younger boy off of him “Then why do you want to get me in trouble?”

Trouble? Why? “I don’t Mickey.” he whined and stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He shifted foot to foot. “Why...” he paused “Why do you think you would get in trouble?”

Yea that was not a conversation they were going to have. He wasn’t about to say ‘we’re too young to be doing this, or at least you are’. Nope. He had Ian where he wanted him. One day maybe they would tell people but until then kid needed to be quiet. “That’s not important Ian. Just keep your mouth shut got it?”

“Ok Mick I won’t say anything, I promise.” He looked to the ground then back up at Mickey who was still standing with his arms crossed. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Ian should just listen to him because he was older, he should trust him and not ask a bunch of stupid questions. He looked down at Ian glancing to the side then back to meet his eyes. “I’m not mad kid, I’m just disappointed” he replied then pulled a cigarette from his pack and pressed it to his lips before reaching for his lighter. Ian was standing there watching him as he lit his smoke and took a drag. “Why you still here? Go hit your pinata or somethin”

“You’re not coming?”

“Stop worrying about what I’m doin. It’s your party so go inside, I’ll be in a bit.”

He wasn’t sure what to say or what was happening. Did Mickey just break up with him? Was he just mad? This was way too confusing, to be honest beating the pinata until it burst was sounding better each second. “Ok” he started to walk away then turned around “Hey Mick?”

“Gallagher?”

“Are we still..you know?” He dug his shoe into the grass as he glanced up at the older boy.

Yes. Of course. Duh. All those things ran through his head but he was still irritated “Stop askin stupid fuckin question and just go inside.”

He swallowed and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “But it’s not stupid..” It was his turn to cross his arms. He didn’t do anything wrong, not really. “Why are you being so mean? I said I was sorry.”

“I’m not bein mean” He tossed his cigarette on the ground and rubbed his nose. “Christ kid, you don’t listen for shit do you?” He walked over to the boy. “Go on, go back to your fuckin party.” He grabbed Ian’s waist and pushed him gently encouraging him to move. The boy started to walk then looked back at him. He shook his head in frustration. “GO..I’m right behind you. Come on man. People are gonna start lookin for us.” They turned the corner and walked up the steps and went inside the house.

**

“Ian!” Fiona greeted with surprise in her voice. “We’re all waiting on you birthday boy, come on.”

Ian walked over to where his sister was standing. 

“Everything OK?” she said softly. 

He looked over at Mickey who was now standing next to his older brother. “Yea..I’m fine.”

“Ok sweetface. Close your eyes”

Fiona wrapped the blindfold around his eyes and spun him around 12 times before placing the bat in his hands.

He took a deep breath and swung as hard as he could. He heard several gasps and someone said so close. Thank you someone. He adjusted his footing and pulled the bat back then swung again. He heard a loud thwack and the room filled with cheers.

“One more time birthday boy, then it’s someone else's turn.” Fiona called out.

Fuck that. This was his party, he was irritated and he was going to beat this pinata until it fell apart. “Sure” he replied then let out a deep breath pulling the bat back again. He swung as hard as he could and heard the split of the pinata and everyone scream in excitement. He pulled his blindfold off to the the busted turtle head and his floor covered in various candy. 

He dropped to the ground and starting filling his shirt with candy using it as a bag. He looked over to Mickey who was staring at him as he sipped on his beer. He smiled but the older boy didn’t return the gesture instead he looked away. He sat there on the floor wishing everyone would just leave so it could be him and Mickey, then he could prove to him he was sorry. That wasn’t the case though. There was still presents and cake.

“Ian look!” Mandy knelt down next to Ian and nudged her friend in the shoulder snapping him from whatever trance he was in. “I got one for both of us” she handed him a blue raspberry ring pop.

“This is a girls candy Mands.” He handed it back to her.

“Don’t be a baby Ian. It’s just candy. Plus it’s fun to eat.” She unwrapped the candy and put it on her finger. “Look at my bling”

“You’re silly”

“Be silly with me” She whined really wanting her friend to wear his ring too.

“Fine” he reached out and grabbed the foil package opening it and sliding the ring in his finger. He felt ridiculous. “This is so stupid.”

“Just stand up and eat it. I wanna see what presents you got come on, get up.”

He stood up from the ground careful not to drop anything from his shirt. Now that he was standing he was aware the his stomach was on display because his shirt was holding up the candy. He bunched his hand around the material then took a taste of his ring pop. It was actually really good, it was awkward though so he took it from his finger and just stuck it his mouth like a regular sucker. That was much better. 

  
  


*****

When Ian stood up from the ground and he could see his flat stomach, all he wanted to do was walk over and start trailing kisses along the soft skin. Obviously he couldn’t do that but he still found his feet following Ian into the kitchen. He walked in to see a pile of candy on the stovetop and Ian kneeling on the countertop. He walked up behind the boy about to pull him down when he noticed Lip sitting at the table smoking a cigarette with some blonde he’d never seen before.

He stepped back trying his best not to stare at the boys ass as he moved things around the cupboard. 

“Got it” he says tossing a box of Gallon ziploc bags on the floor and stepping down from the counter. He turned to see Mickey standing behind him. He grabbed the box from the floor and pulled out a bag “What did I do now?” he said peeling open a baggy.

“Who said you did anything?” 

Ian rolled his eyes and started scooping his candy into the bag. He brought his sucker to the front of his mouth, it was easier to eat then the side where a normal sucker would go. He sucked on it a few times then pulled it from his mouth turning to Mickey. “Then what do you want?” He returned his sucker to his mouth and continued placing candy into the ziplock bag.

Mickey’s eyes were glued to Ian’s mouth. How was he able to walk around eating candy like that? Was no one else realizing how intensely suggestive that candy was? Ian was sucking on the blue ring pop like it was a pacifier pushing it in and out of his mouth. Fuck he wanted him to suck his dick like that, fuck everyone and everything. Just ugh.

He sealed his bag of candy then turned to look at Mickey who was staring at his mouth, practically drooling. Hmm. He pulled the sucker from his mouth and tilted his head. “Mick?”

“What?’ he said in surprise. Fuck he was standing there like and idiot. He looked over to the table to see Lip making out with the random blonde, he was in the clear. “You shouldn’t….that sucker is..ahem” he cleared his throat trying to will the feeling away from his dick. He was wearing sweats and did not want to draw anymore attention.

Mickey was clearly flustered. Good. He was being mean to him. He couldn’t touch the older boy but maybe he could still make him happy, if not just more frustrated. Either way he liked the tiny bit of control he was feeling in this moment. “You don’t like suckers Mick?” He stuck his tongue out and licked across the top. “Mm..Why not they’re soo good?”

Fuck. Fuck. “Knock it off Ian.”

Ian laughed and slid the ring on his finger then brought it to his mouth and began to suck on it. “I don’t know what you’re talkin about Mick. I’m not doing anything but eating candy.”

Yea right. Little fucker knew exactly what he was doing. He may play cute and innocent but he was anything but. “Don’t play stupid Ian..just..”

“You know what? I’m gonna go hang out with Mandy. Have fun with..” he looked around “Whatever you’re doing.” He went to walk past Mickey with his baggy of candy then stopped and looked up through his lashes meeting the older boys blue eyes. He sucked on his ring again slowly pulling it from his mouth, licking his lips “You sure you don’t want it Mickey?” he said sweetly. 

He wasn’t going to make it. He needed Ian to drop to his knees and treat him like that sucker in his mouth. Fuck. He didn’t know what to say so he just kept his eyes locked on the alluring green orbs staring up at him.

“What are you two doin?” Lip stood up from the table scooting past his little brother and the Milkovich kid. “How long have you been standin here?”

“Look” Ian said shoving the baggie of candy at his brother to change the subject. He saw Mickey walk away out of the corner of his eye. He hoped being cute would work and Mickey would tell him he wanted him. His question was pretty clear he thought. “Uh this is from the pinata. Where were you? You didn’t see it but I smashed that fucker.” Lip tousled his hair then opened the fridge to grab a beer. He took that as his cue and slowly walked out of the kitchen.

He walked into the living room but Mickey was nowhere to be seen. He sat down on the couch next to his friend who was currently counting her candy like it was halloween. “I’m so over this party.” he huffed and rest his head on Mandy’s shoulder.

Mandy looked over at her friend. “Well tell your sister to do presents and cake then we can go to my house.”

“You think Iggy would let me stay over?” He really didn’t want Mickey to leave so at least this way they would still be in the same house.

“I don’t know. You’re a boy.”

“So?”

Mandy shrugged her shoulders. “ We can ask later here.” she handed him a pack of starburst. “I don’t like these you can have them.”

He happily accepted, they were actually his favorite candy next to skittles. After about 15 minutes the lights turned off and his brother and sister walked in with his cake. Everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’. His eyes searched through the darkness until he saw Mickey sitting at the top of the stairs with a beer in his hand. 

“Make a wish.” His brother said setting the cake on the table. He closed his eyes and made a wish. His wish was that he and Mickey would be together forever, that and 1 million dollars. Both seemed unlikely at this point but hey that why there were wishes right?

  
  


Everyone ate cake as he opened his presents. Soon people were slowly drifting out of the house until the only people left were the Milkovichs and the Gallaghers. His sisters boyfriend showed up with the best gift so far. It was a ninja turtle box set, it had all the turtles plus two vehicles. All the ‘grown ups’ (if you wanted to call them that, they were all in their 20’s except Mike) migrated to the kitchen and he could hear shot glasses hitting the table. He looked over to his friend. “We should ask now. They’re getting drunk so they should say yes.”

Mandy nodded her head in agreement. “You first.”

“Fine come on.” The two hopped off the couch and walked into the kitchen. Mike’s sister was also here. He didn’t see her come in but she was standing next to Iggy and they were laughing which was cute. He walked up to his sister and his friend walked over to her brother. “Hey Fi?”

“What’s up Sweetface?”

Ugh. He hated that name..kind of..maybe only in public. He scratched the back of his head. “Um I was wondering if I could hang out with Mandy at her house.”

His sister looked over to Iggy who shrugged his shoulder. “Fine with me.”

“Can he stay the night? He can sleep on the couch.” Mandy asked staring up at her big brother giving her best puppy dog eyes. None of her brothers even Mickey could refuse ‘the look’.

Everyone at the table seemed to have some unspoken conversation with their eyes before looking at them. “That’s fine with us.” Iggy replied. “Where’s my brother?”

“Who knows..” Ian said a bit more dejectedly then he intended.

Iggy smiled then cleared his throat. “Mikhalio!” he called loudly. He heard a barrage of curse words then saw his little brother walk into the kitchen.

“I told you I hate that fuckin name.” Mickey replied then crossed his arms and slumped against the fridge. “What?”

“Time to go. I need you to take Mandy and Ian back to the house. Ian’s stayin tonight so you need to watch them.”

Mickey looked over at Ian and shook his head. “Why do I have to? I want to stay here and drink with you guys.”

“Because you’re the oldest Mickey and that’s your responsibility.” Iggy replied. “Tell you what, there's some beers in the fridge, help yourself.”

“Am I gettin paid?”

“No” both Iggy and Fiona said in unison.

“Ugh” he scoffed. “Whatever fine. Lets go douchebags”

“Try and be nice” Iggy replied before taking a sip off his beer.

“Yea I’ll do that.” Mickey replied sarcastically. He knew exactly what he was gonna do. Ian and Mandy could hang out by themselves and he would get drunk in his room and think about touching Ian. He really didn’t want him to come over because it was just one long continuous tease. The kid just had to stand there and he was fucking sexy. 

  
  


********

“JC Chasez is soooo dreamy.” Mandy said laying on the floor her elbows resting on her pillow. She turned to her friend. “I mean his hair and his eyes. I’d let him do whatever he wanted.”

He shook his head in disagreement. “Really? That dude?” He sat up bringing the pillow into his lap and watching the music video. He didn’t think that dude was hot at all. The other one though. “Now that guy.” he pointed to the lead singer. “He’s fuckin hot. I mean look at him, the way he moves. I’d do him.” He felt a sharp pain in his side from his friends elbow. He turned to see his friend had sat up and was staring at him with wide eyes. “Jesus Mandy. Why’d you that?”

“You would do Justin Timberlake?”

“Uh yea…” he said dramatically “If that’s his name.”

She turned to her friend with a raised brow “So you’re gay then?”

He wasn’t really sure what that meant. He liked Mickey and he liked this Justin Timberlake but...until recently he never thought about things like that. “Maybe..I don’t know…” he said hesitantly.

“Mickey’s gay. I think I heard him talking to my brothers about it once but I never see him with anyone. Found some magazines in his room though.”

He wanted to say something but remembered Mickey’s warning. “Hm that’s cool I guess.”

“You do know what that means right? Like gay sex is so different than you know….regular sex.” Mandy leaned back against her bed. 

“How?” He asked scooting next to his friend. “I mean I’ve seen movies but never anything that showed stuff.”

“I’ve never seen it in movies but in Mickey’s magazines they do weird stuff.”

“Like what?”

She pursed her lips and ushered to her friend to come closer. Ian leaned in and she whispered in his ear.

“What? Ew” he pulled away quickly and looked at his friend with wide eyes. “No way man. That’s disgusting. Why would anyone want to do that?”

Mandy shrugged her shoulders. “Some people like it I guess.” She stood up from the floor and walked over to her closet pulling down her box of dolls. She sat back down on the floor opening the lid.

“Really Mandy?” Ian pulled out a doll and stared at it. “Barbies?”

She snatched the doll from her friend “They’re not Barbies asshole. They are monster High Dolls. Totally different. These ones are cool look..” She held up a doll with light green skin and big eyes wearing a denim jumpsuit and pink gogo boots. “This one is my favorite her names Venus, you should take this one” she grabbed the doll with large curls of red hair and pale skin. “You’re both gingers so it makes sense her name is Operetta.”

He looked at the doll and rolled his eyes. They were kinda cooler than Barbies but still. “Fine but since they’re monsters we should do a murder mystery.”

“No! We’re going to go to the mall.” She grabbed out several other dolls and started up a conversation walking them around on the floor.

This was beyond lame. He watched as his friend talked to her dolls pretending they were going to different stores. Fuck this. He walked his doll over to one of the other ones and smashed it to the ground “Ha! I killed you.”

“Ian!” She yelled “Stop. I told you we’re not playing murder!”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. His friend was funny when she was upset.

****

Mickey watched a lot of porn….maybe too much porn. Not like that was really possible, he was a teenage boy. He spent the majority of his free time with his door locked and his headphones in satisfying his curiosities. Magazines were cool at first but they got boring and he needed something more realistic. The first time he typed in anal on google he was blown away. There were so many websites and each website has 100s of options. Pretty soon he had clicked and clicked and before he knew it hours had gone by.

He tried to not let things get to him. He’d never had ‘real’ sex, only done some other stuff. He knew it was the reason he was so intrigued, more than he should be at his age. Things were different now though. There was another reason, a better, brighter thing that made him scroll aimlessly through pages and pages of hot bodies slapping against each other. Ian. He really, really liked Ian, even if he was an asshole about it. He couldn’t help it. He knew he wanted to fuck Ian from the first time he sat on his lap. There was something about the way the boy’s body just seemed to align perfectly with his that made Ian downright irresistible. 

He felt bad about it in the beginning. He didn’t want to take advantage of Ian or to trick him into something, but then the boy confessed that he liked him too, that he wanted to do the things he wanted to do. He wanted to do many things, he’d yet to even play with Ian, to even touch his ass. He could only imagine how great it would feel. Fuck, Ian’s mouth was like heaven when it was wrapped around him. Stupid Ian and his stupid mouth. His pink lips moving along his dick while he stared at him with those stupid green eyes. Stupid beautiful fuckin innocent eyes. “Hmm” he groaned as he pumped his dick. His thoughts kept drifting to Ian bent over with his ass in the air. “Fuck” he sighed. He knew what he would do. Yea he knew exactly what he would do when the time came, he would own that ass. Slow at first of course, he needed to make sure Ian liked it. He would. He always did. Once he was warmed up he’d fucked him hard and fast like in his movies.

He’d heard Ian’s moans from getting his dick sucked or being jacked off but the thought of hearing him cry out from being pounded in the ass by his dick was.. “Shit hm” He opened his eyes and pulled his headphones from his ear as he made a mess of his other hand. He reached for the kleenex next to his bed and wiped his hand before throwing it into the trash can. Thinking about Ian got him off quicker than any porn he’d ever watched, the fact that he was so close but he couldn’t touch him was enough to drive him crazy. He needed to take his mind off of sex or he would just jerk off all fuckin night. As great as that sounded it just made him more frustrated. He stood up from the bed and walked over to the giant plastic container on the floor, his ghetto toybox.

He opened the plastic lid and pulled out his legos. Yea he played with legos, deal with it. He’s 15 a lot of kids his age played with legos especially the ones he had. He liked Star Wars. A lot actually, so every year for his birthday his brothers would buy him a set. He’d finally finished the TIE fighter and now he was about to start the Sandcrawler. He would build them and put them on display in his room. The TIE fighter was on his dresser and his pet, well not really but he thought of it that way. The AT-AT walker stood on his nightstand next to his bed. He grabbed his phone and put on his Twenty One Pilots album then sat down on the floor pouring out the contents of the box.

*****

“And boom dead. Come on Mandy, you gotta do better than that.” Ian laughed at his friend who was currently glaring at him. “What?”

“You keep killing my dolls you asshole” she complained. “If you’re not gonna play right then go away.”

“Where am I supposed to go? I’m stuck here thanks to you.” He looked at his friend and shrugged his shoulders.

Mandy rolled her eyes because she was over her friend. He was being mean and she just wanted to play with her dolls in peace. “Fine then go watch TV or bug Mickey but get out of my room.” She snatched her doll from Ian’s hand. “Go!”

“Jesus Mands call down dude.” He hopped up from the floor and opened the door shutting it behind him. He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. He’d only been here one other time so he kinda felt weird being alone, maybe he should just walk home. Fiona wouldn’t be upset. He had to pee though and it was dark and cold outside so he should probably do that first. He went to the bathroom and washed his hands. When he stepped out he heard the faint sound of music from the end of the hall. He walked across the room and down the hall to what he assumed was Mickey’s room. There was caution tape across the front and sign that read STAY THE FUCK OUT. Yea..this was Mickey’s room.

He knocked softly on the door with his knuckle and listened for a response. There was nothing only the sound of music. He stood there and contemplated what he should do. He could go home and hope Mickey wouldn’t stay mad at him or he could deal with him being mad and maybe they could cuddle and things would be better again. He liked the latter. He slowly opened the door and was surprised to see the older boy sitting on the floor in front of little bags of legos. “Hey Mick.” He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

He looked up to see Ian shutting his door. “What do you want?” He moved his eyes back to the platform he was building for his Sandcrawler.

Ian walked over to Mickey and sat down on the floor across from him. “I was bored. Mandy’s playin with dolls so..”

“Lame”

Ian smiled and grabbed a lego running it across the carpet. “I know right? I just wanted to see what you were up to.” He looked up at Mickey then reached out his hand to touch his knee. “I...I miss you.”

He raised his head and stared at the beautiful redhead in front of him and let out a deep breath. “C’mere” he replied panting the floor next to him. Ian’s eyes lit up which made a small smile cross his face. “Hurry up come on.” 

Ian scooted across the carpet until he was next to the older boy. “What are you making?”

“You know Star Wars right?”

“I haven’t seen the new ones but Lip showed me the old ones.” He didn’t really understand the story but he still thought it was really cool. He liked the Jedis.

“Those are the best ones.” Mickey replied. “This is a SandCrawler.” He reached out and grabbed the box handing it to Ian “Here.”

He looked at the picture on the box. “Damn Mick that’s a lot of legos for one car.”

Mickey laughed. “Yea I guess it is.” He looked over to Ian and smiled. “You wanna help me?”

“Yes!” Ian sat up on his knees. “What should I do?”

“Here” he put the instructions on the floor in front of them. “You can start on this part.” He pointed to the book and handed Ian the bag that match it. “This is for the wheels. Just read the directions.”

“Oh ok.” he smiled and grabbed the plastic package then leaned over to look at the book. It didn’t seem too hard, at least not this part. He opened his bag and started putting pieces together.

Mickey watched out of the corner of his eyes as Ian focused on his part. He was really cute with his brows knit together in concentration. He wondered if Ian knew it if he understood exactly what he did to him every time he entered the room. When he was around Ian he didn’t think straight, he acted foolishly and he found it hard to breathe like now. He brought his attention back to his platform and tried to organize his thought.

They sat there listening to his playlist for the next half hours putting pieces together and stealing glances. He was getting thirsty and remembered what his brother said about beers. A cold one sounded really fuckin good. He stood up from the floor capturing Ian’s attention.

“Where you goin Mick?”

“Relax I’m just gettin a beer.” He walked over to the door then looked back at the boy on the floor and scratched his neck “You uh...you want one?”

Ian looked up at Mickey and pursed his lips thoughtfully “Sure.” He’d only ever had a sip of beer here and there from his brother but if Mickey could drink it so could he.

Mickey turned and walked out of his room into the kitchen opening up the fridge. There was a 6 pack and a few tall cans. Fuck it. He grabbed the 6 pack and shut the door. He opened the cupboard and grabbed the bbq pringles then walked back to his room. He sat down on the floor and handed Ian a beer before popping the tab on his own.

He popped the tab on his beer and took a sip. It wasn’t gross but he it would take some getting used to. He leaned back against the bed. He finished his part and was kinda over it. Legos and dolls, he was striking out with both Milkovich's. He took another sip of his beer and looked over to Mickey who was practically slamming his. “Wow Mick. You drank that pretty fast.”

He laughed and squeezed the can in his hand before tossing it in the trash across the room. “Score! “ He turned to Ian his lips curled into a sly smile “It’s not my first rodeo kid” he said reaching for another beer.

Ian rolled his eyes. “I told you don’t call me that. I hate it.”

Mickey took a long swig of his beer and reached up to his nightstand to grab his cigarettes. “Fine Freckles” he smiled putting a smoke between his lips. “I won’t call you kid.”

“Thanks”

“Mm hmm” he took a drag of his cigarette and leaned back against the bed.

Ian ran his finger around the cool metal rim of his beer wondering if he should ask the question. Were they still together? He decided to wait a little bit longer and just see what happens. He leaned his head on Mickey’s shoulder and the older boy did not try and push him away, so that was a good sign.

He looked over as Ian rest his head on his shoulder. He could smell the lingering conditioner in his hair and wanted to pull him into his lap and hold him. He grabbed his phone and looked at the time. It was only 9:30 pm. Knowing his brother he wouldn’t be home till at least 1 or 2, that’s if he didn’t crash out which was more Iggy's style. “Get up.” he shrugged Ian off his shoulder and stood up from the ground.

“Whats wrong?”

“Nothin just don’t wanna sit on the floor anymore.” He pulled off his shirt and tossed it in his hamper, then pulled down his sweats. He usually slept in his boxers so walking around like this didn’t phase him, not in his own house at least. He climbed on his bed then looked down at Ian who was still sitting on the floor. “What you waitin for Gallagher? Get your ass up here man.” He smiled then laid down with his elbows propped on the pillow pulling up youtube on his phone. Ian climbed on the bed next to him and lay his head down on the pillow. He grabbed his headphones and placed one in Ian’s ear before placing the other in his own. He finished off his beer and went for the 3rd. He wasn’t feeling buzzed yet so he figured why not. He grabbed the Pringles from the floor and placed them at the top of the pillow. He picked the first music video. He really liked Twenty One Pilots so he chose Heathens. He hadn’t seen Suicide Squad but he liked the video. It reminded him of his life. Most people looked down on his family because of what his brothers did and his father did. Other than the people in their circle, they didn’t socialize. Mickey always felt different, until he met Ian. The kid didn’t seem to care about anything but the here and now. He like HIM and that made him feel worth something. 

Ian picked next and just chose from the recommended songs. He chose Gangsta by Kehlani. He turned to look at the boy with amusement “Really?”

“What it says Suicide Squad too. I didn’t know it was sappy.” Ian replied then lay his head down on his hands and looked up at Mickey. “Kinda pretty though right?”

He glanced away then back at Ian. “I guess.” He turned his attention back to the video. Surprisingly he liked it. He loved the Joker. He didn’t know about Harley Quinn though. She seemed cool. Honest he usually only listened to rock but they ended up going through the whole soundtrack, by the end he felt like he had seen the fuckin movie.

****

They had been listening to music videos for a little over an hour. Ian continued to sip on his beer while he was finishing off the last one. 5-1, Ian was slacking. He was definitely feeling a buzz now. He set his beer on his nightstand and pulled out his headphone. Ian turned to look at him pulling out his headphone as well. He stared thoughtfully into green eyes for a moment the reached out and pulled him into a kiss. “I want you.”

Ian pulled away and stared at the older boy. “You do?” he said softly. “I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

Mickey furrowed his brow. “I never said that” he laughed. “I said if you tell anyone we can’t be together. Biiig fuckin difference” he replied his words coming out a little tipsier then he intended.

“Oh.” Ian said pulling back more. “That’s really kinda confusing Mick. I still don’t get…”

“Shhh” He replied closing the distance between them again. He ran his tongue over Ian’s lips until they parted allowing him entrance. The kiss was hurried and sloppy but he didn’t care, they were touching and that was all that mattered. He sucked on Ian’s bottom lip before attacking his mouth again. “Fuck” he sighed as he ran his hands down Ian’s sides, pulling up on the bunched cotton of his shirt. He pushed forward into the kiss rolling Ian on his back and moving so he was straddling his body. He nuzzled the younger boy’s neck and brushed his lips against his soft skin before sucking tiny patches into his mouth noisily.

“Mm..feels good.” He lifted his hands to Mickey's shoulders then tenderly traced the outline of his body until he met Mickey’s waist.

“Gonna make you feel real good” he replied then sat up on his knees. He grabbed Ian’s shirt roughly and tugged it up over his head. “Daaamn” he groaned then leaned down to plant sloppy drunk kisses across Ian’s freckled chest. He could feel his carnal desire building up each time his lips touched velvety skin. He licked up Ian’s chest until he reached his nipples. He teasingly licked a circle across his nipple then pulled it between his teeth before sucking it into his mouth.

“Shit Mickey” Ian moaned as his eyes met with smouldering blue ones. He felt a twinge of pleasure as warmth spread through his body. This was the first time Mickey did that but fuck it felt like his body was on fire. He watched with shaky breaths as Mickey undid his pants and pulled them down, throwing them on the floor. Mickey’s eyes were drilling holes into his body, which cause him to suddenly feel vulnerable. “W.what?” he asked nervously.

“Take off your boxers”

Duh. He didn’t know why he didn’t do that before. He lifted his butt as much as he could under Mickey’s weight and pulled down his boxers. The moment his dick sprang free Mickey’s hand was on it, gripping firmly as he moved it back and forth. He didn’t have a chance to accept the feeling before Mickey scooted down and sucked him into his mouth. “Fuck” he sighed throwing his head back against the pillow. Mickey’s tongue twirled around his dick, flicking playfully while his other hand massaged his balls. “Mm Mickey” he moaned. His boyfriend didn’t have a way with words but he didn’t care as long as he could make him feel like this. Mickey’s touch was intoxicating always leaving him on edge. He closed his eyes and started rolling his hips, reaching out to touch his boyfriend.

Ian was touching his shoulders and moaning above him like a bitch and it was beautiful. His trembling body and breathy moans were so fuckin sexy. He pulled off and let the buildup of saliva and precum drip down Ian’s balls and slide between his cheeks. 

“That tickles” he squirmed when he felt the liquid drip down his ass.

“Just wait” He licked a stripe up Ian’s shaft before enclosing his mouth around it sucking on the tip. He cupped his hands around the two soft globes spreading them apart with his thumbs then watched as more saliva dripped down on Ian’s ass. He felt like he could cum in his pants when he saw his tight little hole. “God damn Gallagher” he leaned his head down and kissed the soft skin.

“Wait..W..what are you doing?” he sighed and licked his lips. Mickey’s mouth was making his head foggy but he didn’t like whatever else he was doing. 

“Nothin” he said softly..“Just relax.” He spread open Ian’s cheeks farther and ran his tongue over the sensitive skin.

“Mickey don’t!” he said as he tried to sit up. “That’s fucking gross.”

“Shh” he replied again then swirled his tongue over the tiny pink star.

“I don’t..” he sucked in his lip with frustration then reached down to push Mickey’s face away. “Stop it. I don’t like that.”

He lifted his head and rolled his eyes “Christ Ian. Shut up already... fuck.” he snapped then let out an exasperated sigh “You will alright.” He leaned down and continued to lick and suck on Ian's hole.

He squirmed at the feeling. It was weird, really fucking weird. It kinda felt good but he was distracted by the way Mickey was talking to him, he didn’t like it at all. He didn’t really want to do stuff if he was going to be a jerk. He was about to say something when Mickey reached out for his hand. He wanted Mickey, and Mickey wanted this so he grabbed his hand and squeezed his eyes shut. He blocked out everything else and soon found himself enjoying the feeling.

Mickey was right. 

His tongue was doing things, different things than when he sucked his dick. His breath hitched when Mickey pressed it inside him. It was sooo weird. He wanted to say something but decided against it because it started to feel really really “Mm” he sighed,

“That’s right. Feels good huh?” He glanced up at Ian and swirled his tongue in his hole. Ian nodded his head and licked his lips gripping tightly on his hand. His body shifted under him, his hips twitching. He knew what he wanted. Ian might not know yet, but he did and so did his body the way he was moving around. He spit on his hole again but that wouldn’t be enough. He could tell just by how hard it was to get the tip of his tongue in, his finger would be a challenge. He needed lube. “Don’t move.” He sat up and reached to his nightstand. He grabbed his beer and chugged down the rest throwing the can at the trash. He opened the drawer and pulled out his lube then sat back down. He pushed Ian’s legs up so that they were over his shoulders and his ass was lifted and exposed. He leaned back down and sucked at the soft skin.

“Mickey” he moaned and rolled his hips at the feeling. He started to feel something cold on his ass which made his body jerk but he just kept his eyes closed and told himself not to question it. Then he felt Mickey’s finger brush over his hole and that immediately pulled him from that thought.

“Ok.. n..not that.” He sat up on his elbows and looked at his boyfriend who was kissing the inside of his leg still circling his finger over his ass. “Mickey no. I’m serious.” He started to pull away because this was too much. He didn’t like it at all. He was not convinced this would feel good, not like the other stuff. How was that even possible? He waited for Mickey to move back to his dick or kiss him but instead, he felt him try to press his finger inside. NO NO “NO Miiickey!” he whined as he pulled his legs down. “I told you no stop it, I don’t wanna do thaat.”

He sat up quickly and stared down at Ian “Are you gonna fuckin cry over eveythin I do?” When he sat up he got a massive headrush and was immediately reminded of his buzz. He raised his hand to his head as he tried to keep his balance “Fuck”

“I’m not..” 

“But you are though. You’re actin like a fuckin baby”

“And you're being really mean Mickey” Ian defended looking at his boyfriend.

“Mean? Really Gallagher?” he rubbed his nose and licked his lips. “You think I’m bein mean because I’m fuckin trying to make you feel good. Get over it.” Ian had a pouty look on his face as he stared at him. He leaned down and trailed kisses up his stomach until he was staring down into his eyes.“You know it always ends the same fuckin way right?” He leaned down until their noses were touching. “You moaning my name and wanting more so stop complaining and just do it.”

He could  _ not _ believe how Mickey was talking to him. He’d gotten mad before but now he was just being a dick. He didn’t understand why. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to think of something to say when he noticed the pile of crumpled cans in the trash. Now it made sense, whenever his brother got drunk he would fight with his sister, at least sometimes. He turned to his boyfriend. “Well I think you drank too much cause you’re acting a jerk right now.”

“Are you fuckin kidding me kid?” 

Ian pulled back and looked up at the older boy with irritation. “No Mickey.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re being really fucking mean and I didn't fucking do anything.” he snapped. “And I told you don't call me that Mickey. You’re not listening to me!”

He scoffed then stood up from the bed. “You know what fuck this shit. I’m out. Do whatever you want and leave me the fuck alone.” He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and his chips from the floor then walked out of the room slamming the door behind him. He walked over to the couch and plopped down. Fuckin mean..he wasn’t mean. That wasn’t true at all. How was wanting do shit with his boyfriend mean? He was irritated sure but why shouldn’t he be? The kid needed to fuckin trust him like he said he should just do it by this point. Ian always made such a fuckin fuss then ended up liking it. Meanwhile, in between he was left feeling like an asshole. Ugh. He laid back and stared up at the ceiling.

He should just stop this, Ian was clearly uncomfortable, right? No, he was just bein a baby. He was fine..more than fine with everything else. Fuck how was he gonna react when he wanted to actually have sex? He rubbed his head in frustration. He could feel his temples throb and blinked his eyes. 5 beers may have been to many but he wasn’t drunk..not really but he was feeling it. He wanted his bed. Fuck Ian.

***

He sat naked in Mickey’s bed not sure of what to do. A part of him wanted to go home but...another part just wanted to be held. Mickey’s arms were big and soft and warm and right now he felt cold. He climbed down from the bed and went to grab his shirt. He reached to the ground when he spotted one of Mickey’s band t-shirts. It would be big on him but he didn’t care. He pulled the shirt over his head then opened the door. The TV was off but he could see Mickey's elbow sticking up from the couch. He walked over to the couch “Mickey?”

He turned his head to see Ian standing there in his T-shirt. Fuckin kid looked adorable right now but he was still upset. Upset and confused. “I told you to leave me alone didn’t I ?”

Ian sat down on the coffee table and looked up at the older boy. “Yea you did but I don’t want you to be mad at me again.”

He sat up from the couch and rubbed his nose “You said I was mean Ian. I’m not fuckin mean.”

“You weren’t listening to me and..”

“That’s twice today.” he interrupted. “Twice that you’ve told me I’m bein mean to you.” He could feel himself getting angry all over again.

“But you were..”

“Fine ok. I’m done with this shit if you think I’m so fuckin mean to you then just go. This is stupid, I should have known better than to do anything with you, to begin with.” 

Ian averted his eyes. He didn’t mean to freak out it just happened all of this, everything they were doing was still new. “ Please, Mickey don’t say that.” He stood up from the table and walked over to the couch. Mickey was silently watching him as he climbed onto the couch and straddled his lap. He leaned forward to give him a kiss but Mickey put his hand up.

“Why do you wanna kiss me if you think I’m such an asshole? Why do you keep tellin me you want to be with me then when I try and get close to you, you fuckin freak out?”

“I didn’t...you’re not mean Mickey I just..”

“Just what?”

He glanced down and brought his hands into his lap to play with his fingers nervously. He was embarrassed that he was scared to try things, especially when Mickey seemed so confident. “I’m just scared. You know so much stuff and I want to do it, I really do but it seems weird.” He paused and looked up. “That back there I don’t understand why you would wanna do it.”

Ian’s voice was so soft and small and fuck, it melted his heart. Who was he kidding, he could pretend and he could be mad, but in the end, he just wanted to be with Ian. So if that meant moving slower than...he could do that. He didn’t fuckin want to but he could. He wrapped his arms around Ian and pulled him close. “I’m sorry if I was..” he paused sucked his lip between his teeth. “I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable. I only want you to do what you wanna do. I just wish you would trust me when I tell you things.”

“I do trust you”

Mickey sighed rubbed his forehead before returning his hand to Ian’s waist. “You don’t though. You freak out every time even when I tell you it’s ok.”

He looked up at Mickey. He was right. He was always right. There hasn’t been 1 thing he hasn’t liked even the thing with his tongue he actually REALLY liked. “We can do what you want Mickey. I..I trust you.”

“It’s OK you don’t have to say that.”

Ian stood up on his knees and leaned forward grabbing the couch behind his boyfriend. “I’m mean it Mick. I want you to do whatever you want. I want you to be happy.”

“You promise?” He looked at Ian and raised his brow. “I don’t want to do this again, it’s not fair.”

He let go of the couch and grabbed Mickey’s shoulder inching his arms behind his back and the couch. “I promise Mick” he whispered laying his head on his shoulder.

He squeezed Ian in a tight hug then reached down lifting his head and capturing his lips in a kiss. “I like you Ian” he sighed. “I like you a lot.”

“Mm I like you to Mickey.” he kissed the skin on Mickey’s neck. “I wanna be with you forever.” Shit. He didn't mean to say that last part out loud. He pulled back and stared at his boyfriend waiting for his reaction.

Wow..Forever was a long time. Who knows what could happen in forever. Now though he felt the same way. Ian was a brat but he was cute and funny and ridiculously hot. Eventually they would be able to go on dates and go to concerts and then maybe.. “Me too” He replied still lost in his thoughts. He wrapped his arm around Ian and stood up from the couch causing the younger boys to squeeze his legs around his waist. He walked back to his room opening the door and locking it behind him. He walked over to bed and lay Ian down before climbing next to him. He looked into his big green eyes and rubbed his nose nervously before running his fingers through Ian’s soft hair. “You mean it?”

“What?”

“Don’t make me say it asshole.”

He said a few things so he wasn’t sure what Mickey was asking. “Yea Mick I mean it. All of it.”

He felt a wide smile spread across his face. He leaned over and pressed a deep kiss into Ian’s lips. Then pulled him in close.

Ian lifted his head “So..did you want to..”

“Shh.” He closed his eyes and squeezed his boyfriend. “Don’t wanna think anymore, juuuust” he yawned. “Just sleep with me.”

“What about Mandy?”

“Don’t wanna thiink” he whined.

“Mick?”

“Gallagher?”

“Did you mean it? That you like me?”

He opened his eyes and scooted down in the bed so that he was staring in Ian’s eyes. “I said it didn’t I?” Ian smiled and turned on his back. He reached his arm across his body and closed his eyes. This wasn’t sex, but right now..after today, he needed this more. 

  
  



	6. Trick or Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian wants something from Mickey and finds the perfect way to get it. Mickey wants something from Ian too but he doesn't have the best communication skills...at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right guys. So we are entering grey territory, crossing from dub con to possible non con so that being said the scene starts ####### and ends the same way so feel free to skip right on past. You guy know how I write so there is important character pov throughout so i recommend reading xoxo. Thank you for reading xoxo

“Please Miiick!”

 

“No fuckin way”

 

“But I already picked them out”

 

“Too fuckin bad kid.” He looked over at Ian who’s eyes began to narrow showing he was minutes away from throwing a fit. “I didn’t mean that freckles relax”

 

“Whatever.” He plopped down on the couch with his back to his boyfriend and crossed his arms pouting his lip.

 

“Ay don’t be like that. Said I’m sorry” Mickey reached out to touch Ian’s shoulder but he shrugged him off.

 

“Then don’t make me go alone!” Ian turned around and pushed back into the couch bring his legs up and tucking them underneath his little body. “I don’t wanna go by myself Mick, I want you to go with me.”

 

“I said no Ian and that’s it alright. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore so change the fuckin subject.” Jesus fucking christ this kid had been hounding him for over an hour straight. That shit may work on his family but not him. He had Mandy experience plus the biggest reason, Ian was his boyfriend so the dynamic was different in their relationship. In fact he had learned if anyone gets their way in this relationship it’s him. Sure Ian was cute..fuckin adorable sometimes but Mickey knew how to play the game. He reached for the remote and flipped through the channels until he came across Jurassic Park. He loved these movies, the 1st one was his favorite. He leaned back in the couch glancing over at the younger boy huddled up in the couch, glaring at him. He rolled his eyes and smiled then turned his attention back to the TV.

 

Ian sat their watching his boyfriend. He really REALLY wanted Mickey to go with him, if not Fiona and Mike would take him and that was lame. They didn’t even dress up. He already had the perfect costumes and halloween was 2 days away. Plus Fiona had been talking about going to a halloween party so if Mickey didn’t go he would end up staying with Mike's mom after just like his brother and sister. He HATED staying with her. Yea she was nice but she treated him like a baby, pinching his cheeks and talking to him like his 4 yr old sister. Debbie and Carl practically lived with Susan. She not only watched them when FI was at work but also on the weekends. In her free time his sister was with her boyfriend and his family for the most part, his sibling were 3 and 4 so they got carted around pretty easily. He was 12 and a handful apparently. Instead of letting him just chill by himself Fiona decided to get him babysitters. Eventually with Mickey it worked in his favor but even then he still felt like a burden. No one wanted to spend time with him anymore. When he was younger his sister was like his best friend then slowly he started to get more demanding and apparently it was too much for her now that his big brother was in college. He softened his eyes and started picking at the tare in the couch cushion, glancing over at his boyfriend. Mickey was laughing as the fat guy got attacked by raptors. His boyfriend was so hot, big and strong with the perfect body. He was amazed that the older boy liked him when he could easily date someone else. He still questions it in the back of his brain but Mickey assures him he like likes him, not just because they do things together. Don’t get him wrong he loves doing things with Mickey. He’s so sweet and gentle and makes him cum whenever he wants it but sometimes he thinks that’s the only reason Mickey likes him. He always said no to really hanging out with him. He didn’t wanna go to the movies, the carnival or and trick or treating. He refused to let him tell people they were dating and got really mad anytime it was mentioned. It seemed like he was almost ashamed to be seen with him. He let out a deep sigh and pushed back farther into the couch trying to become invisible. Right now that’s how he felt anyway.

 

He couch moved and he heard Ian huffing. He turned to tell him to knock it off when he saw the younger boy turned to face the door. His body was pulled into him securely and his head was pressed firmly against the far side of the couch. Damn it. He hated seeing Ian upset. Yea I know he just said he could handle his fits but when his boyfriend was genuinely sad it was different, it made his heart hurt and he just wanted to fix it. “Aye what's wrong?” He reached out and turned Ian to face him.

 

Ian rubbed his eyes.“You don’t wanna spend time with me. I’m just a chore to you like everybody else” he whispered softly.

 

“Shut the fuck up with that shit Gallagher.” He reached out and pulled Ian onto his lap so that their faces were touching. He leaned down and nuzzled his face in his neck. “You’re not a chore to me, I lo...like you. I want to be with you.” He kissed along the freckled skin on Ian’s neck and down his collar bone before lifting his head. “Just cause I don’t like doin certain shit don’t mean anything between us. I just don’t like a lot of things. You.. are not one of them got it?”

 

Ian felt his lips curl up into a smile. This is why he liked Mickey. He was always able to make him feel better. He loved being in his lap, more than he loved kettle corn and that was his favorite snack. He was average height for his age around 4’11 and about 90lbs..last time he had a Dr appointment that’s what they told his sister at least. They also said eventually he would shoot up and be tall like his sister, that seemed hard to imagine at this time but he was waiting for the day he woke up and was 6’. Mickey was bigger and was able to lift him up easily even though they were only a few years apart. His boyfriend was almost as tall as his big brother but not quiet. He didn’t know what he weighed but most of it was muscle because Mickey’s body was amazing and as he mentioned he could pick him up like nothing. He would never sit in his brother's lap or his sisters lap even when he was a little kid he hated it, but he could spend hours with his back against his boyfriends chest in his firm embrace. He nodded his head and turned around to watch the movie. Mickey’s fingers slid under his shirt and his thumbs smoothed circles over his skin as he sat there. This was nice it really was but….he wanted Mickey to go trick or treating with him. He really liked Pokemon and wanted them to go as Ash and Pikachu. He would be Pikachu of course, even if Mickey agreed he knew the older boy well enough to know how he would react if he suggests he be the lovable little creature.

 

Let’s see his birthday was  August 25th and it was almost November so…..hmm that would mean they had been dating for almost 3 months. WOW. He wondered if Mickey knew that. 3 months was a long time. It wasn’t just weekends either. Now he started hanging out at Mickey’s house with him and Mandy. They would watch TV and play blackjack.  Now and then he would stay the night since him and Mandy were in the same class and Iggy liked him. The eldest Milkovich called him a ginger but playfully and never had a problem when he hung out as long as he slept on the couch. He would say goodnight to Mandy then go hang out with Mickey in his room. They finished building the…..whatever it was he was building sandrover, sandcrawler, he didn’t really care. Legos weren’t really his thing but they were Mickey’s so he would sit there and help him until the older boy got tired then they would make out in his bed and Mickey would make him cum with his mouth and his fingers doing things to his body he never could have imagined. At first he was nervous, scared even when Mickey tried to finger him but now he loved it. He should have known better cause Mickey told him he would. He would jack Mickey off occasionally or suck his dick but for the most part Mickey seemed to be super into touching him, and he was cool with that. Whenever he started to blow him he wouldn’t even finish before Mickey had him on his back and was fingering him and sucking his dick. He shifted adjusting himself, the thought was making him tingly. Wait...that was it. Mickey didn’t get off very often, I mean he did by himself but like I said he had a one track mind watching him squirm and jerking himself off. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted...fuck why didn’t he think of this sooner?

He stretched his arms above his head dramatically pushing his weight down on Mickey’s dick, then shifted a few more times.

 

Fuck what was Ian doing? He just wanted to watch the movie but the kid was pushing his ass against his dick and he could feel himself hardening in his pants. They had already played around several times today but he could go again. He never got tired of hearing Ian gasp his name or watching as he squirmed under his touch. He couldn’t believe it had been 4 months and they still haven't fucked yet. He thought about bringing it up several times but to be honest he was really fuckin nervous. He knew what to do from his videos but he didn’t trust how he would be in the moment because he wanted it so bad. He’d thrown a fit here and there and Ian of course gave in but this was actually sex, he didn’t want to guilt him into it. So he would just wait, that’s what he told himself. Right now Ian wasn’t saying it but the way he was moving the boy was begging to be fucked...finger fucked and that he could do. “Whatcha doin there Freckles hmm?” He slid his hands up the front of Ian’s shirt and pulled him back so he could lean to the side and see his face. Ian looked up at him with big green eyes and smiled deviously.

 

“Nothin Mick.”

 

“Don’t feel like nothin. Feels like you want me to touch you” He nipped at Ian’s ear and moved one hand down to palm him through his gym shorts. “That what you want?”

 

Ian had to hold his ground and remember his goal. TRICK OR TREATING..Pikachu. Think..Focus.. He answered Mickey with a kiss reaching up to pull the older boys face closer. He sucked on Mickey’s bottom lip and could feel his dick twitch through his jeans. Now or never. He pulled away from the kiss, then in one forceful motion broke free of Mickey’s arms and hopped off his lap.

 

Mickey looked at Ian trying to decipher what the boy was thinking. He had a look on his face like he was concentrating on something but didn’t want to show it.

Ian leaned against the table and folder his arms. “Mickey”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re going trick or treating with me.”

 

This again? “Holy fuck Gallagher are you serious right now?’ He sighed and threw himself back into the couch crossing his arms. “No I’m fuckin not, told you like a million times. Get it through your fuckin brain. I don’t do that shit OK. Now get back here” he said looking at Ian expectantly.

 

Ian pursed his lips thoughtfully. “No.”

 

Mickey’s brow furrowed in disbelief..”No? Are you serious right now?”

 

“Mm hm, I don’t want you to touch me Mick I want you to go with me and you will.”

 

“Is that what you think kid?” He laughed at the audacity. Ian really thought he could change _HIS_ mind, yea that’s not how this worked. This was his game and he knew how to play it. He found he was naturally hot and cold but with Ian there were times he used it to his advantage. What? Fuck off...he knew better because he was older, plain and simple. It was just good logic. Sometimes Ian would get a little too much attitude or like now act like he didn’t want things but he knew better. He was easily able to remind Ian he was the one in charge because literally he was. He was his babysitter so...maybe he used that more than he should to remind his boyfriend he was the boss...and maybe the fact he was almost 15 and Ian was younger than him may have come up. Most the time he didn’t really think about it, he was just a jerk and liked to get his way now that he knew he could. It’s not like he was hurting anyone. Sure he was getting his way but in the end it was always about Ian. He wanted to make Ian happy, make him feel good and it always ended that way, with them cuddling and sharing kisses..how was that wrong? It’s not because he knows best.

“Well I’m not and honestly you’re actin like a baby right now. Don’t wanna do anything now anyways. You keep bugging me to do shit I don’t want, refusin to listen so why should I do anything for you?” He saw Ian’s face falter and the boy averted his eyes. This is when he would comfort him and he would come back to his lap and everything would be how it should be but Ian looked back up and him and then sank to his knees. What the fuck? “Um.. Did you not hear me kid, I don’t wanna touch you.”

 

Ian swallowed thickly. Mickey’s words hurt, they always did but he told himself they were just words. ..Most of the time. Sometimes he would say things that made him think he was serious, that he didn’t like him, that he was too young or too childish...he was mean sometimes but he would always make up for it and end up kinda apologizing. He knew Mickey was a jerk before they started doing things because of Mandy and the stories but he was always really nice. Then this started and sometimes Mickey could really confuse him. Now wasn’t one of those times and least he told himself that. Mickey wasn’t physically pushing him away so he was going to call his bluff “I don’t believe you Mick. I think you’re full of shit.” He reached out and started to undo the buttons on his boyfriends pants.

 

He looked at Ian defensively and could feel a pout coming on his face. “Am not...what do mean you don’t believe me? I’m serious.”

 

Ian smiled at his boyfriend and watched as a blank look of confusion replaced the angry one. He reached into Mickey’s pants and massaged his hard cock. “See, you’re lyin”

 

Mickey was speechless for the first time in a long time. Ian had initiated kissing but he would take the lead from there. This though, Ian just dropping to his knees and talkin shit at the same time, for some reason the mixture was short circuiting his brain it was ridiculously sexy. “Uh..I..” He paused and watched with wide eyes as Ian pulled out his dick and licked up the side. “Fuck” he sighed and sat up. Ian looked up at him through his lashes then wrapped his pink lips around the head kissing it and sucking it into his mouth. “Mm fuck Ian”

 

Ian held firmly onto his boyfriends shaft moving his hand up and down as he continued to make out with the soft tip of his dick. When Mickey did it to him his head went blank and he never wanted him to stop, judging by the groans above him he was having the same effect on the older boy.

 

He reached his hand down to run his fingers through Ian’s silky red hair but then the boy lifted his head to stare at him. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothin..” Ian said then sucked Mickey’s dick back into his mouth. Mickey rolled his eyes and licked his lips as he swirled his tongue around the shaft. He pulled up with a loud pop this time and Mickey looked at him like he punched his puppy.

 

“Why are you?. Keep goin” he stammered. He still couldn’t get over seeing his dick in Ian’s mouth, it was….it was somethin else. It immediately made him think of how Ian would feel when he fucked him so he avoided it because the urge to just flip over his boyfriend and fuck him was too much, almost overpovering. He was stronger so he could easily do it and eventually Ian would be into it but he loved...liked liked..shut up. He LIKED Ian and didn’t want to do that. That being said right now Ian was sucking his dick obscenely and that was honestly his main focus. He kept stopping though which was a fuckin tease and now he was staring at him with doe eyes as he moved his hand up and down. “Hmm what? What is it just...tell me” he groaned.

 

Ian leaned down and massaged his boyfriends balls, he felt Mickey’s entire body tense up so he decided to kick it up a notch. He thought it was funny using Mickey’s moves on him. He rolled his tongue over his balls then sucked one into his mouth gently.

 

“Christ Ian, what ..fuck” He didn’t know what had gotten into the younger boy but he wasn’t about to question it, maybe he started watching porn or something who the fuck knows.

 

He flattened his tongue and licked up the soft skin from the base to the tip then fixed his eyes with his boyfriend. “Go with me”

 

“Hmm what..why are you askin again no”

 

Ian thought for a moment what else he could do to leave Mickey a mess then remembered his sucker. He dipped his head down until he felt like he would gag, which wasn’t that far cause he didn’t suck dick often. He sucked as much as he could causing Mickey to whimper which was really hot actually. He pulled his head up until only the tip of Mickey’s dick was in his mouth. He sat back on his knees so now just the very tip of the tip was resting against his lips. Mickey was staring at him almost in a trance waiting for his next move. He smiled with his eyes and started sucking on his personal sucker just like that's what it was. He licked the tip then sucked in and out noisily staring down his boyfriend.

 

Holy fuck Ian was fuckin sexy. It was too much. Kid knew he was cute, fuckin played it up whenever he could too knowing how it wrecked him. Ian was so sweet and innocent one moment then the next he was sucking his dick like a goddamn pacifier. The squeaky wet noises slipping from Ian’s lips were fogging his brain. He couldn’t help that it turned him on and judging by the way Ian was lookin at him fucker knew exactly what he was doin. “Fuck” he tilted his head back on the couch and licked his lips “ damn...feels so good baby just..fuck.”

 

Did Mickey just call him baby? He’d never done that before, this must be working. He licked across the tip again and tiled his head staring innocently. “I want you to come Mickey.” he said sweetly before he started lazily sucking patches of skin in little kisses moving his hand slower. “Please come”

 

“Yes..fuck..just please shut up and just..” he couldn’t finish his sentence because Ian took him in his warm mouth again. Jesus fuck. He was gonna cum, fuck was he gonna cum, he wanted to savor this longer though. Ians mouth was tight and wet and his lips were soft as they brushed over his skin.

 

“Promise you’ll come mickey and wear a costume?” he said pulling off his boyfriends dick.

 

“Yes I promise.”

 

“K” He smiled and knelt on his knees again prepared to actually suck dick. He parted his lips taking Mickey’s cock into his mouth and started bobbing his head. He felt Mickey place his hands on his head and gently push him down further, he let him until he felt like he would gag. Mickey got the hint and leaned back on his elbows watching him.

 

“You look so fuckin hot right now Ian.” He licked his lips and shut his eyes letting his mind wander until all he could do was picture his cock moving in and out of his boyfriends tiny ass instead of his  mouth.

“Mm I wanna fuck you” he hissed as he began to buck his hips. Ian didn’t stop him instead reached his hand up under the hem of his shirt kneading his chest as he hummed around his dick. The sound floated to his ears and only fueled the image in his brain “Really want to fuck you Ian, just..fuck.” His eyes sprang open and he leaned forward and reached down grabbing his boyfriend under the arms, sitting him on his lap. Ian looked at him with confusion until he closed the distance between them latching their lips together. Ian squeezed his shoulders as he lay him on his back and climbed on top. His mind was racing but the one thing that stood out was Ian had too much clothes on. He kissed his neck biting soft freckled skin causing Ian to flinch.

 

“Hmm be nice” he said as his heart sped up. He loved when Mickey was like this, when he just handled him. Something about it was...I don’t know but fuck it turned him on. Mickey was a bit rougher these times though at least in the beginning, like biting him.

 

“Shh” he said reaching down and pulling on the fabric of Ian shirt. The boy sat up as much as he could and he yanked the shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. Ian’s face was flushed and his hair tousled from the shirt commotion and that only made him want him more. “I’m not kidding Ian, you” he kissed his boyfriends chest then leaned back “You drive me crazy kid.”

 

Nope. Not gonna let it slide again. “I’m not a fucking kid Mickey!” he snapped. He was about to cross his arms over his chest when Mickey leaned down and pressed a kiss to the pout on his lips “I know baby.”

 

He didn’t know why suddenly he was calling Ian baby. It was probably because he wanted him so bad and the way he looked earlier with his dick in his mouth..it was weird as fuck but felt right as it left his lips. He leaned back again pulling off his shirt and pushing down his jeans and boxers. Ian took the hint and lifted his hips, following his lead until they were both naked.

 

Naked, touching, horny as hell. This was him right now. He wanted.. no needed Ian. “Spread your legs for me” he said and Ian listened. His little pink hole was just calling his name, asking, waiting. He wanted to feel him. He wanted to be with him now not later.They had waited long enough.  His mind was on autopilot as he reached down to the floor for his backpack. Yes he carried lube in his backpack. He never knew when he’d get the urge to jack off not to mention he had a boyfriend now and Ian was not about to walk around with that shit. He grabbed the tube and squeezed it into his hand then threw it on the ground. He rubbed his hands together the ran a finger over the sensitive muscle then pushed in.

 

“uh..Mickey” he moaned as the older boys finger swirled inside him. He could feel a second finger slip in and arched his back when Mickey moved them back and forth. He was getting lost in the feeling until his boyfriend started spreading his fingers which was different, it still felt good but a little awkward.

 

Ian’s ass gripping around his fingers was causing his dick to leak in his hand. He was so tight even after everything. It was like he was elastic or something and just snapped back into place. He was hard as a rock as he pumped his dick staring down at the sinfully sexy boy writhing and arching his back in front of him. He continued to open Ian up spreading his fingers and much as he could, moving them in a circle. He’d seen enough porn to know he needed to do this first. The farther his fingers spread the more jerky Ian’s squirming became.

 

It was starting to feel more uncomfortable than good now. “Mick I..that’s too much.” He lifted his head to look at his boyfriend. Mickey was sitting back moving his fingers inside of him and touching himself seemingly unaware of what he said so he rolled his eyes and laid back trying to enjoy it again

 

He had a one-track mind as he stretched Ian’s hole with his fingers. His dick in this ass. That was it, he’d wanted that for so long. Everything he was thinking about before was out the window. He thought Ian said something but he looked up and his eyes were squeezed shut. He decided to try something else, so far he’d only done 2 fingers but his dick was bigger than that, not by much but still. He watched intently as he slid a third finger in and Ian’s hole clenched around it. “Fuck” he groaned and started spreading his fingers again.

 

“Mick I don’t.. that..mm..thats”

 

He looked up at Ian. His face was bunching up in discomfort but he was still moaning so he kept going. He knew he should have more patience, probably even say something but his hormonal teenage brain didn’t care. He sat up keeping his fingers inside and leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. Ian wrapped his arms around his neck and tugged at his lip playfully with his teeth. “Mm” he sighed into the kiss as he started to slide his fingers out. He felt Ian’s body relax which took him by surprise because he didn’t even know it was tense. He lifted his head and stared into green eyes. “Do you trust me?”

 

Ian was taken back by the question so he furrowed his brow with confusion. “Of course Mick why?”

 

He didn’t answer just captured Ian’s mouth in his again but this time he began rubbing his dick against Ian’s hole.

 

Ian blinked his eyes and pulled back to look into Mickey’s blue ones. When he searched his face he was scared. He knew what Mickey wanted because Mandy had told him about that stuff but he really didn’t want to do it. He trusted his boyfriend but..this was too much, he couldn’t process how it would feel good. “Can we just kiss more?” he said softly and tilted his head.

 

“You said you trusted me. This will feel good, I know it will.” He rubbed against his hole again. “Just let me do it”

 

Ian averted his eyes and shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to make Mickey upset but.. “I don’t want to Mick, it’s weird.”

 

Mickey’s head dropped in frustration as he rolled his eyes. How many times was this shit gonna happen? He just wanted to fuck his boyfriend was that really too much to ask? “Ian just..” he paused trying to think of the right thing to say. He wanted to tell him to shut up and relax but he wasn’t there yet. “It’s OK alright.” He leaned down and nuzzled his boyfriends neck. “It’s what people do when they love each other.”

 

Did Mickey just say he loved him? No. that’s not what he meant is it? He couldn’t love him, he was sexy older Mickey Milkovich and he was just Ian. Passed around annoying Ian Gallagher. Either way he still didn’t want to do it no matter how soft Mickey’s words were. He would do everything else but not this. “No Mickey. I don’t want to do it OK. You can do it with your fingers but that’s it” he said firmly.

 

Mickey scoffed cause now he was annoyed. “Why? Why are you OK with that but not actual sex, it’s the same fuckin thing.”

 

“If it’s the same then it shouldn’t be a big deal if I don’t wanna do it cause you do the other things.”

 

“Ian just listen to me”

 

“No Mickey.”

 

“Really?” he rubbed his nose “You’re gonna be like this again?”

 

This was different, this was it. This was sex. He didn’t want to have sex. “I guess I am cause I’m not gonna do it. You can be mad but..”

 

“You’re bein fuckin stupid right now. You know sex is like..” he paused and took a deep breath trying not to lose it. “ It’s fun. Everyone does it.”

 

Ian scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Not me. It’s fucking weird and I’m not gonna do it.”

 

“Ian..”

 

“Jesus Mickey NO” he snapped. He was over this now. It was ruined and whatever was happening now did that. He started to push his boyfriend off so he could get up.

 

He watched as Ian started to sit up and tried to push on his chest. He sucked in his lip, Ian would like it. He would, he just needed to get the stick out of his ass and put his dick in it. He should just listen and do what he tells him instead of crying about it. “Just wait alright.” Ian took in a deep breath and stared at him.

 

“So you never want to have sex? That what you’re sayin?”

 

Ian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “We can do other stuff, why do we have to do that?”

 

“Because _Ian_ ” he scoffed “We’re together and that’s what you do.”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore Mick OK” He stared and waited for his boyfriend to move so he could get up.

 

##############################################

 

“Fuck this” he said and abruptly pushed his boyfriend back down. He leaned down and swiftly planted a deep kiss on Ian’s soft lips. Ian fell into the kiss easily and started pulling and his shoulders bringing him in deeper. He lifted his hand up to grip his boyfriend's arm, then reached down and grabbed his dick lining it against his hole.

 

“Miickey stop..”

 

“Shh” He whispered into the kiss. He told himself to just ignore him, if he didn’t he would get mad and he didn’t want to get mad he just wanted Ian.

 

“You’re scaring me, let me go right now. This isn’t fun anymore”

 

“It will be” he mumbled as he started to push in.

 

“No. I said fucking no Mickey.” He pushed at his boyfriend but Mickey wasn’t listening to him, instead, he reached his other hand back up and held down his free arm. He could feel him pushing against him. “Mickey fuck off” he cried and tried harder to push the older boy off but Mickey held firmly leaning down to look at him.

 

“Baby just relax OK. It’s supposed to be easier if you relax.” So far it wasn’t easy, Ian was tight even though he just fingered him. He would have to actually push into him. He rested the weight of his upper body down on Ian’s chest so he couldn’t push him off and held tight to his arms smoothing his skin with his thumbs. It would be OK. He just needed to let him do it and everything would be fine. It was that simple but Ian wasn’t fuckin getting it and kept squirming and fighting him.

“Damn it Stop!”

 

“You fucking stop!” Ian shouted pouting his lip. Mickey was pressing into him now and it hurt, it wasn’t like his finger at all. “You’re hurting me Mickey please, I don't wanna do this.”

 

“Just wait ok, you will.” He said as he looked down at Ian. His boyfriend looked terrified. He quickly glanced away trying to swallow the guilt he was feeling by reassuring himself it would be ok in the end. It would, it always was. This time he just had to prove it is all since he couldn't convince Ian like he did normally. “It will be OK baby, I promise you’ll like it” He leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. Ian tried to look away but he managed to press their lips together. He raised his hand to cup Ian’s cheek which caused the boy to kiss back and relax slightly. He took this moment and pushed in past the resistance until he felt Ian’s ass take him in  “Fuck” he sighed as the warmth engulfed his dick. “Hmm” he groaned lifting his head. Ian was squirming under him. He didn’t want to look and see the pain in his eyes so he buried his head in his neck before he sinking in further.

 

“Miiiickey!” he cried. Literally, he could feel his eyes start to water because it hurt. It hurt and Mickey didn’t care. He didn’t care about him just what he could get from him, this was proof right?  He said no, he said stop but he didn’t listen and now he didn’t really know what to do. He felt a tear spill down his cheek and went to wipe his eyes but he couldn’t cause Mickey was holding down his arms, so instead, he lay there and let quiet tears rain down his face.

 

He kept pushing until he couldn’t anymore. Ian had stopped trying to fight him, in fact, he was still..and quiet. Too quiet.  He took a deep breath and lifted his head from the warmth of Ian’s neck to look at him. Ian’s face was flushed and his eyes were red and watery. He was crying.

..fuck...

 

“Hey..I’m..please don’t cry.” He tried to kiss Ian but the boy jerked his head away. “Look at me.” He gently turned Ian to look at him. “It’s OK baby, please trust me. I’m sorry I had to do this.” He was balls deep in his boyfriend but he knew he went about it the wrong way, but Ian should’ve listened to him, just accepted that he was right and trusted him. He said he did but.. “I don’t wanna hurt you”

 

“Then..let go” Ian said softly sniffling.

 

“What?” he looked at him with confusion then felt Ian’s arm move under him. “Oh fuck. I’m sorry” he said quickly releasing his grip and sitting up. He had forgotten he was lying on Ian and holding down his arms. The boy wiped his face and glared at him.

 

“You ARE mean Mickey. You..you don’t like me.” he cried. “You don’t or you would listen and..”

 

“No no. I’m sorry I do like you.” he leaned back down careful not to squish his boyfriend again. “I really like you, Ian, more than you know.”

 

“Only because I let you do stuff”

 

“No, that’s not the only reason.” He tilted his head and swallowed thickly feeling like his heart had been stabbed “Do you really think that Ian?” He could hear his voice start to break and rubbed under his eye with his palm.

”You think that’s the only reason I like you?”

 

“Kinda”

 

“That’s not true at all.” He sighed and pressed a kiss on soft pink lips. “You’re cute and funny and even when you’re gone I still think about you.”

 

Ian looked up at Mickey and for the first time, the older boy looked like he could cry. He looked vulnerable even though he was the one who’s ass was on fire. He wanted to believe what Mickey but he didn’t know anymore. “Really?”

 

“Yea and your soft and warm and I love it when you smile and your freckles and your laugh.” He was rambling now, but he was praying he didn’t fuck this up. He might threaten to break up here and there but after the first time, he realized he never wanted to be without Ian again.

 

“Then why didn’t you listen to me?”

 

Mickey licked his lips. “Cause you always do this. You act as if you know better but you don’t know shit.” Ian’s eyes narrowed. “I mean about this, you don’t know about this” he quickly corrected himself “I do. You told me you would trust me but you didn’t want to let me do it.”

 

“Cause I don’t like it” he said feeling his eyes well up again.

 

“Just do it Ian and I promise you will really like it. I watch movies like this and they really really like it”

 

“You mean it?”

 

“Yes baby” he kissed him again and looked in his eyes. “Please do it with me”

 

Ian studied the older boys face but all he saw was sincerity and guilt. So that meant he really was sorry. Good, he should be fucking sorry. He should feel like shit cause that’s how he felt, even after the words he still felt like nothing to Mickey. He was wrong but that didn’t change how he felt at this moment. He didn’t know what choice he really had, or why Mickey was even asking him. He made it clear how he felt but it looked like it was gonna happen now. He exhaled deeply and his eyes met with his boyfriends.“I just...” he averted his eyes then slowly looked up. He still was afraid and he didn’t like that. “Promise you wont do that again? You scared me Mickey, I didn’t…” He didn’t know what to say. He felt like it wasn’t important, he wasn’t important. He was just there.

 

Mickey looked away then back at his boyfriends innocent eyes. “I promise.”

 

“I mean it Mickey, you cant….” he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. “You can’t just make me do stuff, you can’t just ignore me like I dont matter. Everyone else does that.” he sniffled. “I matter.”

 

FUCK. He was the biggest jerk in the history of jerks. He really fucked up royally. What was he thinking? “Ian you matter to me.” he glanced away then looked up to Ian’s shiny green ones. “I’ll never do it again”

 

############################################

  
  


“K..” he said dejectedly “So what happens now?” Ian said wrapping his arms around Mickey’s neck again.

 

“Uh” was this a trick question? Should he stop or was this permission?... “I fuck you?”

 

He was already past saying no so what was the point of fighting. “That’s what you really want?”

 

Mickey nodded.

 

He swallowed and pulled his boyfriend down so their noses were touching. “Ok Mickey” he said pulling his lips into a nervous smile. “Then fuck me”

 

Oh my god. Leave it to Ian to find a way to make everything better again. He started to pull out and Ian squeezed his eyes closed tightly. He ran his hand through his red hair and kissed his lips lightly. “It’s ok baby. You’re ok” He pushed back in and felt like he would die. Ian ass was clenched around him. He was so fucking tight and warm he didn’t know how he hadn’t cum yet. He started to slowly thrust into his boyfriend.

 

“It..uh it huurts Mickey”

 

“I know but it will go away.” It went away right? No way sex hurt the whole time cause then why would people do it? He thrust in again softly …“Fuck Ian you feel so good” he rolled his eyes. He wanted more so he started to move faster.

 

Mickey started thrusting into him hard and fast “Uh..hmm uh..” He didn’t understand. The pain was dulling and he was starting to…..he was starting to kinda like it. “Mickey” he sighed breathlessly moving his hands to his boyfriends shoulders.

 

“Yea? Does it hurt still?”

 

“N..not the same.” he moaned “I like it”

 

“You do?”

 

“Mm hm..fuck me”

 

Mickeys eyes widened and he sat up lifting Ian’s legs to his shoulders and grabbing his waist, just like he’d seen. He started to pump into him and grabbed his waist. “God damn Gallagher” he grunted.

 

“It feels..good Mick so..uh” Jesus fucking christ, maybe he should have watched porn. Then he could have known what to do and not freaked the fuck out like always. It was still painful but there was a part that started to feel really good. Mickey was fucking him and his head was spinning. The room was filling up with a mixture of grunts and moans as Mickey snapped his hips. “Fuck Mickey..fuck hmm.” Mickey reached out and started stroking his dick.

 

“I got you.” He thrust in over and over as he pumped Ian’s dick in his hands feverishly.

 

“Mickey I uh..”

 

Yes! He wanted to see this so fuckin bad. He looked down and saw his dick sliding in and out of Ian’s pink hole just like in his dreams, but sooo much better. He lifted his head to see Ian licking his lips and arching his back pushing his body closer and deeper. Fuck porn, who needed it. This was hands down the hottest thing he had ever seen.

 

“I’m gonna cum uh Mick..I..please” he tilted his head as his body coarsed with goosebumps and and warmth spread across his entire body. “Hmmm” he sighed as he came on his boyfriends hand.

 

Ian lips were parted and his eyes were closed as his release filled up his hand. “Shiiit” he groaned as he came inside Ians ass. He fell down on Ians stomach not caring at all about the mess he was making. He glanced up to his boyfriend. “You ok?”

 

Ian took a deep breath trying to come down from the wave he was riding and his eyes fluttered open “Yea I’m OK.”

 

“It was good right you liked it?”

 

He felt a half smile creep on his face. He was trying not to be upset because he did like it, if he wasn’t pissed off he would want to do it again but even though sex turned out to be amazing that didn’t erase the fact that Mickey basically forced him into it. No not basically he did. He liked to think if he would have continued to say no Mickey would have given up but a part of him thinks...a big part thinks he wouldn’t have. He would have just had sex with him because it was what he wanted.

 

“Ian?”

 

“What?” he snapped suddenly quite annoyed.

 

“Chill out man. You didn’t answer me. You liked it right?” He needed to hear him say it to sooth the guilt churning in his stomach.

 

“Just...please get off me” he replied avoiding the question. Yea he liked it but that wasn’t the fucking point. “You’re squishing me again.”

 

“Uh yea sorry.” he said softly climbing off the couch. “Come on let’s go take a shower.” He reached his clean hand down to his boyfriend but Ian just stared at him.

 

“I’m gonna take a shower and you can pick out a movie” he replied standing up from the couch.

 

Mickey rubbed his nose. It was clear Ian was mad at him, even if the sex was insane. The way the boy was looking at him made him want to hide under a rock he felt so guilty.  He reached behind him and scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “Sure...Yea I can do that..you hungry?” he asked as he pulled on his clothes.

 

“Just order pizza or like chinese whatever YOU want.” He grabbed his clothes from the floor and ran up the stairs. He didn’t want to be mad, but he was. He was really mad. He couldn’t shake it, just the thought that Mickey would do that. He was actually scared in the moment. Mickey was bigger than him, stronger than him but it never freaked him out before now.

 

“Ugh” he huffed and turned on the shower. He just needed to wash up and change into his pjs then they would cuddle and watch a movie and this would all go away. That’s what he told himself then Mickey called upstairs asking if he wanted orange or sesame chicken and he found himself slamming the bathroom door and climbing angrily into the shower. The warm water was nice...really nice. It calmed his nerves and soothed his mind. It would be ok.

 

*****

 

Ian was really pissed. Why did he even let him have sex if he was gonna be pissy about it? No dont lie to yourself he didn’t let him do anything and he knew it. He wondered if Ian just said yes because he was scared he would do it anyway...would he? Now he’d like to say not only no but hell no but he was impulsive and to be honest if he hadn’t noticed Ian crying he probably wouldn’t have stopped or even looked at him until he knew it felt good. Jesus Mickey, what the fuck is wrong with you? He was a terrible person that’s the honest truth.

 

Fuck...

This is why he liked to touch Ian, he didn’t need self control anymore and he was happy with waiting when this day started. Yea he wanted to fuck Ian but he didn’t picture it being like this...not at all. He didn’t think he would do what he did. How was Ian even talking to him right now?  Well, he slammed the door and ignored him but before that. How could he even look at him and not hate him?

 

Oh my god did he hate him now? Fuckin A. Ian should, he hated his dad.

 

Why did every fucked up thing in his life always come back to his fuckin dad? Probably because he was a mean drunk who didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself, guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Ian told him he was mean at least once or twice a week but usually when he wasn’t getting his way. Not like he did tonight. This time Ian meant every word. He tried to play it back in his head and see where he decided it was ok to stop listening and just go for it. The answer should be nowhere but the moment he was able to hold Ians arms down he knew he was gonna do it. He stopped though and that should count for something right? He didn’t force him to have sex...not really, he didn’t do that. That was such bullshit. He was sure in the moment, after getting that far he would have.

 

“Fuckin asshole” he kicked the back of the couch in disgust. Ian eventually liked it so it’s wasn’t wrong right? He was into it in the end so that’s what mattered. That’s what his dad told him. Why was he even listening to shit his dad told him like it had any truth? That had to be the stupidist fuckin thing he could do right now. Relationship advice from a pedophile. “Stupid” he scoffed.

 

He wasn’t like his dad, no. He wasn’t super old creeping on Ian, he was older yeah... but he loved Ian. He really did. He had an idea of what love was and Ian did things to his heart with just the look of his eye, that had to be love.

Why did he hurt him then? He could pretend like he didn’t but he did. No wonder Ian was fuckin angry and confused. How could he believe anything he says after that? God, he was a fucking idiot. He probably ruined the best thing in his life because he wanted his way, he didn’t care in the moment because he knew best. He knew now that doesn’t apply to sex. You can’t just fuck someone when they tell you not to that’s r..wrong..yea. Let’s not say that word he didn’t want to think about that because it ended good. Ian liked it.

 

FUCK!

 

He grabbed his cigarettes and walked outside to make his call. He ordered both sesame and orange chicken so Ian could have his pick. Food was gonna be about 45 minutes. He rubbed his hands over his face and continued debating with his mind over right and wrong. Whether he was different or if he was a waste of life like his dad. He felt like the latter. It didn’t really matter how he felt though, he already hated himself. What really mattered was how Ian felt, now clearly wasn’t the time to try and talk about it. So now he would just do what he did best, sit there quietly hating himself and admiring how perfect he found Ian, maybe if he gave him another chance, his goodness would rub off on him one day.

 

***

 

Ian stepped out of the shower and dried off. He opened the door and walked over to the stairs peeking over the rail. Mickey was nowhere to be seen. Really? He did not just leave did he? “Dick” he muttered then walked to his room slamming yet another door.

****

 

Mickey could hear Ian upstairs and a part of him wanted to run. He couldn’t though. He took a deep breath and walked inside. He walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge. He popped the tab and slammed that fucker. He let out a loud burp then reached for a second one. He heard the creak of the stairs and turned to see Ian in t-shirt and sweats. “Foods on the way, but you should pick the movie.”

 

“I picked last time.” He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a Dr. Pepper. “It’s your turn.” He leaned against the fridge door and stared at his boyfriend.

 

“I uh...OK. I pick whatever you pick then.” He tilted his head and took a sip of his beer.

 

Ian smiled. Mickey was cute when he was nervous. He walked closer to him “You sure that’s what YOU want Mick. Don’t want to make you watch somethin if you don’t like it” Fuck he couldn’t help himself.

 

Mickey licked his lips. “You did though Ian. Don’t say you didn’t”

 

Ian rolled his eyes “You know that’s not the point Mickey.” he turned and walked into the living room with the older boy following behind him. He sat down on the couch and reached for the remote leaning back.

 

“What do you want me to say? I told you I was sorry.” he sat down next to Ian and reached for his cigarettes. “I fucked up, I can’t do anything about it now can I?” he lit his cigarette and took a drag reaching out to touch his boyfriend's shoulder. Ian shrugged him off. Normally he would pull him onto his lap but that seemed like the exact opposite thing he should do. So he leaned back and smoked his cigarette waiting for Ian to pick a movie and the fuckin chinese food.

 

******

 

You guessed right. He picked up a horror movie. He liked scary movies and Fiona always bitched when he watched them. This one was a classic Nightmare on Elm Street. For being a serial killer Freddy Kruger was pretty fucking creative. There were of course more moments than not that he found himself flinching in surprise or covering his eyes with his hands. He looked over to Mickey who was sitting silently poking at his food and occasionally glancing at the movie. He looked really sad and really comfortable. He was like a dog in timeout but you just can’t resist petting it, he wanted to pet Mickey, to cuddle and kiss him, sit in his lap. He was right, he couldn’t change what happened, neither of them could. He was still mad and it would probably take a lot to actually get over it but he would. The first step was those arms. Mickey had his white tank top on and his arms were so.. He scooted next to him and grabbed his plate.

 

“You can have it, I’m not really hungry.” He said when Ian grabbed his food. Ian looked at him thoughtfully and sat his plate on the table.

 

“I don’t want your food Mick. I want you.” He climbed into Mickey's lap and straddled him looking down in his eyes. “I’m still mad at you.”

 

“I figured as much.”

 

“This movie is fuckin weird so I thought maybe I'd sit here but..” He rolled his eyes and turned around to face the TV. He reached down and grabbed a fortune cookie off the table. He loved the cookies, the fortune was fun but he loved the way they tasted like crunchy vanilla. His favorite thing to do was suck on the pieces until they got soft. He opened his cookie and pulled out the fortune.

**_‘From listening comes wisdom. From speaking comes repentance.’_ **

Hm. Ok then. He crumpled the small paper and tossed it on the table. He took  half the cook and broke it into smaller pieces shoving it in his mouth. He grabbed the other half and turned to his boyfriend. “Here”

 

Mickey looked down at the chinese cookie. “I’ll pass thanks.”

 

“Have you even tried one before.”

 

“No, but it looks and smells like fuckin cardboard.”

 

Ian scoffed. “Just try it.”

 

“No.  Eat your fuckin cookie.”

 

“It will be OK baby, I promise you’ll like it,” he said staring directly at Mickey. “That’s what you said right?”

 

He deserved that. He scratched his neck and reached out grabbing the cookie. He took a small bite and wrinkled his nose. “Fuckin gross.” He tossed it on the table and looked back at Ian who had a furrowed brow and a sour look on his face.

“C’mere”  leaned down and pressed a kiss into Ians lips then pulled back to stare at him. Ian studied his face then closed the distance between them. He ran his fingers down Ian’s back, then wrapped his fingers around his waist. He went to lie him down when Ian stopped him.

 

“You’re not serious?”

 

He rolled his eyes. “Not that I just want lie down with you.”

 

“Oh..ok” he replied then turned to lie down next to mickey. Mickey wrapped his arms around him pulling him in close and kissed his hair. This was nice. He really like when they cuddled like this. Fiona wasn’t gonna be home till Sunday which was Halloween so he relaxed his body.

It was only about 15 minutes later that he heard Mickey’s soft snores float into his ear. He scooted out from under his arms and walked to the closet under the stairs pulling out a comforter. He covered his sleeping boyfriend then climbed on the couch so he was facing Mickey and wrapped his arms around him. He nestled his head against his chest and closed his eyes letting the sound of Mickey’s heartbeat lull him to sleep.

 

******

 

Halloween was here and so were his costumes, they came on Saturday actually. He got Mickey’s size when he was at his house and told his sister what they were going as. She laughed and told him he was cute. He rolled his eyes because he only liked when Mickey said that. Speaking of Mickey the older boy was currently making him breakfast for the second day in a row instead of the usual eggs or milk and cereal. Yesterday he woke up to pancakes and bacon. Today was chocolate chip french toast. He wasn’t about to question why cause he already knew but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

 

He opened the box with his costumes and squealed. It was perfect! It even came with a pokeball.

“Mick!”

 

“What?”

 

“Come look at your costume.” He heard the sound of plates then his boyfriend walked in with breakfast.

 

“Costumes? Yea no. I said I would take you, didn’t say shit about a fuckin costume” He handed Ian his plate. “You want juice or..?”

 

“Yes juice and yes Mick you said you would. You promised!” he said crossing his arms.

 

Mickey walked back to see his boyfriend looking like he shot his puppy. “What? Don’t look at me like that Ian.” He sat down next to him and started chewing on a piece of bacon. “No”

 

“I can’t believe you.” Ian said shoving his plate on the table and walking to the stairs.

 

Fuck. “No wait, don’t throw a fuckin fit man fine. I’ll wear somethin just eat your breakfast.” Ian’s face lit up and he walked behind the couch and bent over. When he came up he had a box in his hands. He watched as his boyfriend set the box on the couch.

 

“It’s great Mick. Here.” He handed Mickey the package with his costume the pulled out his own.

 

“Hell no. The fuck is this?” He said with disgust turning the package in his hands.

 

“It’s Ash and I’m Pikachu!” He said with a laugh and held up his costume.

 

“Fuck no. You’re not serious?”

 

“Dead” Ian said the cuteness gone from his voice.

 

He was surprised at the change in the boys demeanor but he could throw a fit and get mad no way was he wearing this shit. “No”

 

“Please Mick you promised.”

 

“I did not promise to dress up like fuckin Ash Ketchum Ok get that straight” he snapped and tossed the package on the table.

 

“Too bad cause I want you to” Ian replied and reached over grabbing the costume and shoving it at his boyfriends chest. “Just fuckin do it Mick”

 

He scoffed because who was he talking to and where did his cute passive boyfriend go? No matter he would fix it. “Listen carefully NO” he overly enunciated the word. “Nope, no FUCKIN way, not gonna happen got it?”

 

Ian couldn’t help but feel anger bubbling under the surface. “No?” he laughed. “I thought no meant yes Mick.” He tilted his head “Am I right or does it only mean something when you say it?”

 

He immediately averted his eyes. He was lucky Ian even wanted to have anything to do with him. “I’ll do it.” He looked up at Ian and faked a smile. “I guess it’s not that bad.”

 

Ian leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. “Thank you Mickey! We’re gonna get so much candy ugh. I can’t wait.”

 

***

 

“Oh my god!!!!” Fiona squealed when her little brother and his friend came downstairs. “You guys look so cute! You’re the best Mickey” she reached out and hugged her babysitter. “Ok now stand next to each other so we can get picture.”

 

He looked at Ian “I draw the line at pictures.”

 

Ian shrugged his shoulder cause he didn’t really care about pictures either but his sister crossed him arm.

 

“Now” she said loudly “I just want a few. Ok smile!” She held up her phone and started clicking away. About 10 photos later at various angles she was satisfied.

****

 

Mickey felt like an idiot but Ian was happy so he tried to ignore it. He had brought entertainment for the end of the night so for now he was managing. They went from house to house collecting candy and listening to how fuckin adorable they were, it was sickening. After about and hour he was over it and let Ian do all the collecting. If he wanted candy he would go buy some, or better yet steal it.  After 6 blocks he was ready to go home. “Think you got enough candy Freckles?”

 

“Never enough Mick” he said sweetly as he hopped down the stairs. “Why you bored? Come with me then”

 

He had an idea that could make the night at least somewhat fun for them. “Fine let’s go.” He followed behind his boyfriend as he walked up to the next house. The approached the door and he rang the doorbell several times. “Come on” he grabbed Ian’s hand.

 

“But the candy.”

 

“Fuck the candy move” He pulled Ian behind him and they ran across the street and ducked behind a car.

 

“What are we doing MIck?”

 

“Just watch.” They peeked around the tire and watched as a portly man opened the door with a bowl full of candy. The man looked around then shut his door. “Let’s do it again. It’s funny.”

 

They slowly stood up and ran across the street. “You’re turn Freckles.” Ian rolled his eyes then walked up to the house and rang the doorbell several times. “Run babe hurry the fuck up!” He grabbed Ian and they hid behind the bush next to the gate.

 

The man opened the door faster this time. “Knock it off you little bastards!”

 

Mickey had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing as the man looked in every direction and they were a merely feet away. “Next time I’m gonna find you.” They heard the slam of the door then he looked at his boyfriend. “Let’s makes this interesting shall we?” He unzipped his backpack and pulled out two cans of silly string and a roll of toilet paper. He hand handed the cans to Ian who just stared blankly. “What? It’s Halloween lighten up.” He rose from the ground still crouched down lightly and walked into the yard. This house was perfect because it had on 2 small trees and the rest were bushes. He threw the toilet paper over a branch then started wrapping it in various ways around the tree. He turned to see Ian standing there speechless. “What are you waiting for let’s decorate” he smiled and reached for one of the cans in Ian hands. He shook it and sprayed green string at his boyfriend.

 

“Hey!” he shouted dodging his boyfriend. He shook his can and attacked Mickey with orange string. “Jerk!”

 

“Whoa man” he laughed “Aim for the bushes.” Ian let out a small laugh then walked over to the bushes and started spraying them with silly string. % minutes later the yard was a masterpiece. He walked up to the door and rang the bell then knocked loudly. “Run RUN!” He ran down the sidewalk with Ian on his tail until they were houses down safely hidden but still able to see the show. They could hear the man cursing and yelling and watched as he looked around his yard. “Holy shit, that was close” he said collapsing back in the grass. Ian was laughing and his cheeks were beet red. “That was awesome.” he said looking up at his boyfriend.

 

Ian tried to compose himself. “Yea Mick. That was great!” He reached into his plastic pumpkin bucket and pulled out a kit kat. He opened it and snapped it in half. “Want some?”

 

Damn Ian was really cute. Big green eyes with Pikachu ears in his costume staring at him even after everything like he hung the moon. He grabbed the chocolate and took a bite. “C’mere you.” He reached out and grabbed Ian’s hand pulling him down next to him. He rolled on his side so they were facing each other. It was dark other then the lights from the houses still serving Candy. It was almost 10pm.  “This is nice” He cleared his throat and flipped on his back to stare at the stars. “You know... just us bein out or whatever…”

 

A smile spread across Ian’s face from Mickey words. He rolled onto his back and scooted closer. His heart was racing from running and now they were laying down in someones yard under a hedge. This really was nice. He was about to say something when Mickey pulled out his phone and lifted it above them. He turned his head raising a brow at the older boy.

 

“Don’t say anything just fuckin smile.” Mickey leaned his head on Ian’s and took a picture. He had to admit Ash and Pikachu looked pretty hot together. He went to put his phone away when Ian grabbed it. “Hey!  Give it back”

 

“Silly face on three.” He said aiming the camera back on them. Mickey rolled his eyes but leaned closer. “1, 2, “ he puffed out his cheeks and Mickey stuck out his tongue as he snapped the picture. “One more”

 

“No you had your fun.”

 

“Please!”

 

Fuckin kid. “Fine but then we bounce. I’m ready for a beer.”

 

“Ok” he held up the phone and Mickey snatched it from his hands. “What the hell you said..”

 

“Kiss me”

 

Ian stared curiously at his boyfriend then turned on his side and leaned forward planting a kiss on his lips. He saw the flash of the camera and felt himself blush. “Really?” He pulled away and tilted his head.

 

“You said one more so there you go. Now we’re done”

 

“Ok Mick”

 

“Alright.” He rolled over and stared back at the sky. He wanted to get up and leave but instead he grabbed Ian’s hand and moved closer. They lay there in the dark in silence. He could always drink a beer but right now was a perfect moment...Why ruin it ?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking prompts aromance91 on tumblr or Noel_is_King on twitter xo


	7. Home for the Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey spend the Holidays together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, sorrybfor the insane delay. Trying to get all my WIPs done at once just was not working between the long storylines nd the shit storm I call life so back to regular updates. Thank you so much for your support and patience it means a lot to me. Xoxox

Christmas Eve

Here goes nothin. What are people goin to say? Who goes out on Christmas eve except couples? Ugh this was a bad idea. He should just give Ian his gift and be done with it...he didn’t want to though. He’d been thinking about it since Halloween night. He had a really good time with Ian, he was his boyfriend whether anyone knew or not. He deserved to be spoiled, and he wanted to be the one to do it. That’s it, he’ll just make up some stupid excuse to take him out.  
It was only 7pm on Christmas eve and he wanted to surprise Ian with a movie date..yea he could make up some lame excuse. He put on his jacket, and grabbed his wallet and cellphone from his nightstand. You can do this Milkovich.

****

He could hear the commotion and bustle from the stairs as he approached the Gallagher house. He’d never really been a fan of holidays because his dad would usually just come home at some late hour drunk and dangerous. Since he’s been gone his brothers had made a point to buy gifts, but there was still no big celebrations, not like everyone else had.  
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. After a few minutes, the door finally opened and Ian’s older brother leaned against the frame.

 

“Hey Lip.”

 

“Mickey.” He surveyed the teenager on his porch curiously. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Uh..Mandy and I were gonna catch a movie but she bailed to her friends house and I already bought the tickets..”

 

“Ok and....”

 

He rubbed his nose with his knuckle. “Well is Ian here? Figured he might want to go.”

 

Lip pulled the door back and gestured for Mickey to come inside. “He’s upstairs but we’re just about to eat so you’ll have to ask Fiona if he can go.”

 

“Yea ok” he said then casually as he walked inside and over to the stairs. When he approached the door he slowly turned the handle and walked in to see his boyfriend folding down the collar of his shirt. Ian’s back was facing him so he shut the door behind him loudly.

 

“I told you I’m coming jesus” Ian huffed. He turned around expecting to see his older brother but instead his boyfriend was leaning against his dresser with his brow arched and a smirk on his face. “Mickey!” He ran and jumped in the older boys arms knowing full well Mickey wouldn’t drop him. He wrapped his legs around Mickey’s waist and planted a deep passionate kiss on his lips, before trailing small kitten kisses along his jaw.

 

“Hey you” he beamed pulling his head back. He held tightly to his boyfriend and walked over to the bed laying him down and climbing up so he towered above him. He hadn’t intended on making out with his boyfriend since his family was downstairs but it had been almost 2 weeks since he last saw Ian. Fiona explained she used some vacation days so she could spend the holiday with her family. That combined with Lip being on break she didn’t need a sitter. He figured if they took that much time they wouldn’t want Ian running off to his house either, which was torture. He missed his boyfriend and now with Ian’s tiny pink lips moving passionately against his he could care less about the danger downstairs, in fact, it was kinda hot. He slid his hand up Ian’s shirt feeling the warmth from his soft skin radiating under his fingertips. “Missed ya” he purred before burying his face in the crook of Ian’s neck. He pulled at freckled skin with his teeth as he moved his hand down over Ian’s stomach, his fingers slowly inching under dark blue jeans.

 

Ian felt the older boys hand wander and pushed at his shoulders forcing him to sit up. He could see the frustrated look in Mickey’s eye’s but he said nothing. “We should go downstairs Mick, they’re waiting for me.”

 

“About that..” He lowered his gaze for a moment before looking into Ian’s big green eyes. “I got us tickets to the Justice League.” He paused and thumbed at his nose “I overheard you tell Mandy you were excited by the previews.”

 

Ian’s lips turned up into a coy smile. “Really? Are you inviting me on a date Mr. Milkovich?” He was so excited! Despite how nice his boyfriend had been since that night, he still had that fear lingering in the back of his mind that the older boy didn’t really like him, that he was just convenient. It was louder than before because of what happened but this shut it down. At least for the evening.

 

Mickey scoffed at the comment. “Fuck you is what you’re invited to.”

 

Ian rolled his eyes. “Uh huh..sure.” He sat up until his lips connected with his boyfriends. “I wanna go, but we have to eat first. Come on.” He scooted out from under the older boy hopped of the bed before grabbing Mickey’s hand.

 

Mickey stood up from the bed with a small grin on his face as Ian pulled him towards the door. The fuckin kid was under his skin, he’ll say it again and again. He was perfect. So maybe they hadn’t had sex since that night, that was fine. He was horny as fuck and jacked off way more than he did before but 2 months was a long fuckin time when he was getting it on almost every day. Ian had stopped everything. It was just making out and nothing below the waist. Ian wouldn’t even let him blow him. It was worth it though. He loved Ian even if he wasn’t ready to say it, plus he was a dick so the fact Ian didn’t break up or tell on him was a fuckin miracle.  
They started down the stairs when he realized he was still holding the younger boys hand. He abruptly freed his hand from Ian’s grip causing the boy to glance back at him with a flicker of irritation evident in his eyes.

 

He missed the warmth from Mickey’s hand already even if it had only been several seconds. He reached across his body for his other hand and played with his fingers as a distraction from the fact he had to keep their secret. He still didn’t understand why. His family liked Mickey but he didn’t want to bring it up.

 

They walked through the living room into the kitchen where his sister had set the table. It looked really pretty with the pinecone centerpiece Veronica made. It had glitter and red flowers...poinsettias i think they're called. Who cares he just felt happy to have his family together and smiling. Mickey being there was icing on the cake. He walked over to his sister who was carving the pot roast at the counter and poked at her arm. She looked down at him then up at Mickey.

 

“Mickey hey. What are you doin here? Everything ok?” She looked over the boy in front of her assessing him for any damage but he seemed fine.

 

“He’s here for me. We’re gonna go see The Justice League after dinner right Mick?” He turned and looked up at his boyfriend for support.

 

“Um yea. that’s right.” His eyes quickly met with Fiona’s lingering gaze. “I mean if it’s ok with you. I can always come back after, it would only be like two 2 hours anyway.”

 

Fiona smiled. People were wrong about the Milkovich's. They were rough around the edges but from what she had seen from Mickey and his siblings they were actually pretty caring. Iggy was cute too but that was just a bonus. “No reason to leave. Join us.”

 

Mickey scratched his neck nervously. He didn’t do ‘family’ dinners. Dinner was eating in front of the tv or in his room with his headphones in. “Nah that’s ok.”

 

“Yes” she insisted. “There’s plenty. Go on and wash up” pointed to the bathroom

 

“Thanks,” he said awkwardly then walked over to the bathroom behind Ian. They both washed their hands stealing glances. Ian kept blocking the water for him to rinse the soap little fucker. “Knock it off” he laughed.

 

“I’m not doing anything,” Ian said with a mischievous grin before setting his hand over his boyfriend’s stealing the water again.

 

“Ian c'mon man” he said nudging him playfully with his shoulder.

 

“You’re no fun Mick.” He lifted his wet hand to dry them on the hand towel next to the mirror then walked out of the bathroom.  
****

 

“So Mickey how’s school? You’re in what 9th grade now?” Fiona scooped a spoonful of roasted potatoes on her plate then passed them to Lip.

 

Mickey swallowed his bite of pot roast and took a sip of his beer. “Sophomore actually” he replied. “Gonna be 16 soon.”

 

“Is that right?”

 

He speared a stewed carrot with his fork bringing it to his mouth. “Yup. March 13th.”

 

Fiona shook her head in disbelief. It was crazy how quickly kids grew up. It seemed like just yesterday Ian was following her around on errands and they would do everything together. He was older now and things weren’t as easy. He wasn’t as easy “That’s so crazy. I remember when you were Ian’s age. Now look at you, highschool.”

 

“Kinda sucks too be honest. My brothers want me to join the football team, think I can get a sports scholarship or somethin”

 

Lip took a sip of his beer and cocked his brow with confusion at the younger boy. “And you don’t?”

 

Mickey shrugged his shoulders and took another bite of his food. “Nah not really man, don’t really want one. Football’s fun but that’s it.”

 

“Well what do you want to do then? Have you even thought about that yet?” Lip pressed.

 

He had actually. He wanted to be an architect. For as long as he could remember he loved building things, learning how each piece fit together to create a masterpiece. It sounded lame though, not as cool as a football star. “Not really no. Cars maybe.”

 

Ian smiled and pushed the vegetables around on his plate. It was cool hearing about Mickey. Like he knew about him but not what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to be a Fireman or an EMT. His sister watched a lot of shows with firefighters taking risks and saving people. He wanted to save people. He would be a real life hero. Mickey liked to build things and was really good with legos so he could totally build a car. “Cars are pretty cool. Have you seen those shows on the Discovery Channel Mick where they put old cars back together?”

 

“Sometimes when Iggy watches them” he replied. He wasn’t used to this much attention and it was starting to make him uncomfortable.

 

“Restoring cars.” Fiona looked at Mickey approvingly. “Yea I can see you doin that. Not bad money either.”

 

“True” Lip replied nodding his head in agreement.

 

“Right.” He went to take another sip of his beer. It was empty. Fuck. He glanced over at Ian then stared down at his food. Could this be over yet? He pulled his phone out, they needed to leave in about 20 minutes. Deep breaths, he could do this.

 

The rest of the time was spent with Fiona talking about a new client she signed at the cup company. Lip seemed interested but somehow the older boy managed to steer the conversation to his crazy ex girlfriend. He tried to follow along the best he could but slowly he was tuning them out. He turned to Ian who was staring across the kitchen looking bored out of his mind. He looked a little sad even, probably because it was Christmas Eve and his family was acting like he was invisible. That’s ok. He would give him the spotlight he deserved. It annoyed him though and he felt like he had to say something.

 

“Yea you guys wanna maybe talk about somethin we can all get into?” He reached for his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. “Not sure bout Ian here but cups and crazy bitches aren’t really my specialty.”

 

Lip pursed his lips then let out a small laugh. They were kinda caught in their own little world, he didn’t spend very much time with his sister these days. He looked over the annoyed teenager and smiled. “Think I can bum a smoke?” Mickey pushed his pack towards him and he pulled one out passing it back. “ So we did the coolest thing at school the other day.” He took a drag of his cigarette then blew out the smoke. “We’re working in the robotics lab teaching Chip how to make coffee. I bet we nail it by the end of the year.”

 

“Wow really?” He loved robots especially Chip. Lip took him to school once and showed him the lab. Chip was just a few spare parts and some wires and now look at him. “Isn’t that the coolest thing ever Mickey.”

 

Mickey tried to hold back his smile but the difference in his boyfriends demeanor when his brother actually talked with him rather than ignored him was adorable. “Yea man, it’s pretty fuckin sweet.”

 

Lip explained to them how Chip was built and the other skills they were trying to program which he actually found fascinating. To build something was one thing but to make it come alive, that was the dream. He was so entranced by the conversation with the two brothers he didn’t even notice Fiona had cleared the table until he heard the water running. He looked up and saw her walking around placing plates in the sink and was immediately reminded they were supposed to leave. “Fuck!” He pulled out his phone and checked the time. He sighed with relief and leaned back in his chair.

 

“What’s wrong Mickey?” He reached for his boyfriends hand to comfort him because he seemed upset but Mickey quickly pulled it away and stood up from the table.

 

“Nothin we just got get out of here if we wanna make this movie.” He grabbed his smokes and looked over at Ian who was sitting down still.

 

“You guys want a ride?” Lip offered. He had nothing better to do and it was dark outside.

 

“We can walk. It’s not that far.” he looked over at Ian again who was watching his sister clean without a care in the world. He rest his back against the wall. “That is if we can fuckin leave sometime today.” Ian looked over at him and smiled.

 

“Is it time to go?”

 

Lip laughed. “Seriously Ian. Come on kid pay attention.” He turned to look at Mickey. “He’s so annoying sometimes. You got more patience than me man. Props.”

 

Mickey laughed and his brother gave him a high five then turned to rustle his hair.

 

“Try not to be a pain in the ass for once okay. Have fun and uh call me if you need a ride home.”

 

“Yea sure” he said dejectedly. He looked up at Mickey who looked annoyed too. Great. He waived goodbye then walked out the back door Mickey following behind him. He hated how his brother did that. He always talked about him like he was a kid, like he was some hassle people had to put up with and Mickey high fived him like he felt the same way. He walked in silence next to the older boy not knowing what to say. This was stupid. If Mickey didn’t want to hang out with him then he didn’t have too. He stopped and crossed his arms waiting for his boyfriend to turn around. Mickey walked a few more steps before he noticed he was gone then turned.

 

“The fuck are you doin Gallagher? You wanna be late?”

 

Ian shrugged his shoulders “I don’t wanna go anymore. I’m gonna go back home.”

 

Mickey furrowed his brow. What the hell? He walked over to Ian and took a drag from his cigarette. “What do you mean you don’t wanna go? Why the hell not?”

 

“You think I’m a chore Mickey I know you do” he huffed the sat down on the curb then looked at his boyfriend. “If my sister stopped paying you to hang out with me, you would probably stop talking to me.” He wiped his eyes feeling the small tears escape. Really? Another reason for Mickey to treat him like a child.

 

His eyes went wide at the younger boy’s words because how could he think that? Why did he think that? He tossed his cigarette and crouched down next to Ian to sit on the curb. “Why you sayin shit like that?”

 

Ian rolled his eyes, like Mickey didn’t know. “You agreed with Lip that I’m annoying. You guys all think i’m just this little kid getting in your way all the time. Well, I won't be in your way anymore” he sniffled.

 

“Hey. Knock it off with that shit.” He wrapped his arms around the younger boy and pulled his head onto his shoulder. “I do think you’re annoyin” he started but Ian jerked away.

 

“I knew it! Then just...”

 

“Hold your horses Christ! Can I fuckin finish please before you get all emo on me?” Ian lowered his eyes to the ground and started playing with his hands nervously. He placed his hands over the small ones smoothing his thumb over soft skin “Yes you’re annoying. You do stupid shit all the time but that’s what makes you so adorable. Don’t you get that?” Ian glanced up at him with his big green eyes and tearstained face. “Your sister doesn’t pay me to hang out with you only to watch you. She didn’t pay me to take you on a…” he paused because it weird saying it out loud but fuck it. “On a date I..I wanted to do that you know have time just us or whatever” he shrugged and looked around trying to not feel the sappiness of this moment. He was abruptly attacked by small lips. He ran his hand through Ian’s hair and sucked on his lip. He was reaching up his shirt when he heard a car drive by bringing him back to reality. He opened his eyes and gently pulled away. “We can’t do this out here” he said as he stood up from the ground. He extended his hand to his boyfriend,“you good cause we really gotta go”

 

“Yea Mickey” he smiled and brushed off his jeans. “I’m good.”

***

“Come on” he muttered under his breath. The line for the concession stand was ridiculous but no way were they not getting fuckin popcorn at the movies. The had 10 minutes and 4 people in front of them. He knew exactly what he wanted so they should be in and out. After what felt like forever the reached the counter.

 

“What can I get for you guys?”

 

“Yea large kettle corn, extra butter and a large blue raspberry slushie.”

 

“Is that all for you?”

 

He looked down at the candy shelf and saw Ian’s favorite candy. “I’ll take a bag of skittles too.”

 

“$17.54”

 

“Fuckin ripoff” he muttered as he placed a 20$ on the counter and was given his change. He grabbed the food then walked away with Ian behind him. They were walking towards the theater when Ian’s warm hand grabbed his free one. “Cut it out man” He yanked his hand away causing his boyfriend to scoff as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He reached into the bin by the door and grabbed two pairs of glasses before walking inside the dark room.

 

Ian was so over not being able to hold Mickey’s hand. The boy said he liked him so why was he hiding him? They were on a date right? That’s what you’re supposed to do, he’s seen the movies. He didn’t even ask him if he wanted anything. That didn’t matter though cause he paid for the movie but he got his favorite candy. He would just try and steal some during the movie but it still sucked. They got to the top and sat in the far corner. He pulled down the chair and leaned back to sulk about his boyfriend.

 

Mickey set the drink between them and the popcorn on his lap. He turned to hand Ian his glasses only to see a pout on his face and his arms crossed again. Kid was too much. Not to much for him though. “What’s wrong now?”

 

“Nothing.” He snatched the glasses and put them on before sinking lower into his seat.

 

Mickey chewed on his bottom lip then extended his hand out to grab Ian’s “Better?”

 

“Maybe” Ian replied softly even though secretly on the inside his stomach exploded with butterflies.

 

“What?” Mickey’s eyes darted around in confusion. “I got you kettle corn, a fuckin blue raspberry drink and your favorite fuckin candy? The fuck else do you want? You still hungry or somethin, want like nachos or a hot dog?” He figured Ian would be full from dinner but if he was hungry then he would get something. Ian turned his head towards him then started to laugh. Now he was really confused. Fuckin A. “What!”

 

“You’re so sweet Mickey.” His eyes traced over his boyfriends face watching as his body tensed up at his words. “You got all this for me?”

 

Mickey could feel the hotness spread as his cheeks turned crimson. He rubbed at his nose looking away from Ian’s prying eyes. “Whatever not like I ain’t gonna have any.” He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth to make a point. Ian’s slender fingers squeezed tightly around his hand. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and clicked his tongue “You’re a fuckin brat man.”

 

Ian reached for the slushie and took a long sip before glancing up through his lashes at his boyfriend. “I’m your brat though” he replied then took another sip of the deliciously tart drink.

 

Mickey giggled. Yea he fuckin giggled. His boyfriend did that shit to him for some stupid reason. He put on his glasses and grabbed Ian’s hand again. “Don’t forget it either. Now stop hoggin the fuckin drink and shut up. Movies startin”

*****

Ian ran out the door into the cold Chicago night filled to the brim with excitement. “That was fucking awesome Mick and in 3D oh my god.”

 

Mickey pulled his smokes from his pocket and lit one up. “Yea it was epic. Aquaman was badass. Not all lame like in the comics.”

 

“You read the comics?”

 

“Once or twice. Not much else to do, not really a people person so spend a lot of time in my room” he replied blowing a cloud smoke out his nose into the night.

 

“You not a people person? I never knew that” Ian laughed sarcastically. “That’s cool though. I like movies more, not a big reader.”

 

“I’ll let you borrow one, and you’ll like it trust me.” He looked down at his boyfriend as warmth took over his body and filled his heart. “You wanna come back to my place then I’ll walk you home later?”

 

“Sure.” He reached for Mickey’s hand.

 

“Damn it Ian. What I tell you? Not out here.” He shoved his hand in his jacket pocket and took a long drag from his cigarette to calm his nerves. He didn’t understand why it was so hard for Ian to grasp the concept it had almost been 5 months.

 

“Ugh” he shouted. “So fucking stupid Mickey. You know that right? I hate it!” His brows knit as he folded his arms, “I don’t understand.”

 

“You don’t fuckin need to Ian. Just listen.” He tossed his cigarette and stuck his other hand inside his pocket. It was cold as shit. Ian was quiet looking at cars that passed on his side of the sidewalk. Eventually, it would be ok, but they had a ways to go. Kid knew that from the beginning so he needed to get over it. He turned to say something but was distracted by the Pearl white Rolls Royce limo stopped in front of them at the light. It looked like something out of a mobster movie. Fuckin cool! The windows were down and the passengers were drunkenly shouting Merry Christmas at the people crossing the street. “Holy shit look.” He reached out and turned his boyfriend to face the street.

 

“Damn. That’s a nice fuckin car.” He didn’t know what it was but it looked sweet. Kinda reminded him of the cars on those shows he watched the way it had the fancy curves, not like a regular car. Not like his sisters. He looked over at his boyfriend. “I think it’s cool you want to build cars Mickey. I bet you’d be really good at it.” They started walking again and his boyfriend lit up another cigarette.

 

“Not really what I wanna do” he replied before taking a drag.

 

Ian’s smile slipped from his face as he walked closer to his boyfriend. “Why would you lie?”

 

“Didn’t. I like cars and I like buildin things just not buildin cars.”

 

“What?”

 

“I wanna build buildings Gallagher. You know like the fancy ones in New York and shit.”

 

“You want to go to New York?”

 

“I mean yea but that’s not the point. I wanna be an architect you know, build buildings instead of the Death Star.”

 

“Oh I get it now. You should totally do that Mick, you’re really good with legos.”

 

They turned the corner to his house and he grabbed Ian’s hand. “Maybe someday.” They walked up the stairs and he unlocked the door stepping inside. He had been holding back on kissing and touching his boyfriend for hours and he couldn’t resist anymore. He locked the door behind him and looked over to the couch. Ian had taken off his jacket and was sitting on the arm swinging his feet. He hung up his jacket behind the door then walked over to his boyfriend capturing his mouth in a kiss. His tongue traced along Ian’s soft lips until they parted letting him in. “Hmm” he hummed then wrapped his arms around Ian’s waist. He lifted Ian off the couch and stood him on the ground staring at him fondly.

Mickey was looking at him weird. “What?” he said with confusion but Mickey said nothing. “Why are you looking at me like that. You’re..” he didn’t finish his sentence before Mickey swept him off his feet. Literally. He was carrying him across his arms like a girl in a wedding movie. He lifted his head as they walked into his boyfriends room. “You know I’m not a girl right?”

 

“I know”

 

“And I can walk..”

 

“Yes Ian I know. You’re also fuckin small and easy to pick up.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you have too.” They were standing in front of his boyfriends bed. He really liked being picked up but it sounded supper cheesy to say.

 

“Don’t have to do anything.” He dropped Ian on his bed then climbed on top of him. “Maybe i just want to that a problem” he whispered in his ear.

 

God Mickey was so hot. His heart was already speeding up just having the older above him. He loved it but he was trying not to be nervous because they were alone. “Not a problem.”

 

“Good then shut up.” He bit at Ian’s neck causing the younger boy to gasp. Fuck he missed that sound. He lifted his head and brushed his lips along freckled skin before capturing Ian’s mouth in a kiss.  
“You’re so fuckin hot baby. You have no idea.” He reached down and pulled up Ian’s shirt running his hand across his flat stomach.

 

“Mm” he groaned at the contact. Mickey’s fingers made his body radiate with goosebumps and his dick twitch.

 

“I miss you” he said softly pulling away looking into Ian’s green eyes. “I need you.” He slid his hand down Ian’s stomach and slowly moved his fingers under the hem of his jeans.

 

“Why do you miss me?” He said then glanced away for a moment before returning his gaze. “I’m right here.”

 

Mickey sat up in frustration. He was so over this. He fucked up but that was 2 months ago and he didn’t know how many more ways he could prove he was fuckin sorry. “You fuckin know that’s not what I mean.”

 

He sat on his elbows “I don’t know what to say Mickey” he said softly. “I just wanna kiss. Do you wanna be with me or just have sex?”

 

“Christ Ian! Stop bein fuckin stupid .” He snapped leaning down. “How many times I gotta answer that shit before you believe it hm? You not know how to listen or what?”

 

“Get out of my face Mickey” he shouted and pushed at his boyfriend. Mickey sat up and stared at him expectantly. “You’re being a jerk and I don’t wanna talk to you. I’m wanna go home.” He tried to get up but Mickey stopped him.

 

“Wait”

 

“No Mickey. Let me go, get off.”

 

He climbed off the bed and Ian followed. He walked over to the door because he didn’t want Ian to leave, not like this. Not angry. It was a really good date, and he had to fuck it up. “Ian i’m sorry ok. I’m just..i mean” he gestured to his boyfriend. “You’re hot and want to be with you but that doesn’t mean that’s all I want. You know that.”

 

Ian stared at his boyfriend who was standing in front of the door. These were the times he wished he was bigger, he could just push him aside and leave, but he didn’t really want to. “I don’t though” he said softly. “You’re confusing Mickey and I don’t know anything.” He walked over to the bed and sat down. He chewed on his cheek and played with his hands unsure of what to do. He was afraid to talk to his boyfriend cause he didn’t want him to get mad or break up with him. it wasn’t fair.

 

He could tell Ian was trying to think of something but he didn’t know how to say it. He walked over in front of the bed and knelt on the floor. He was told once when you try and comfort someone its best to be eye level but Ian was looking down at him so that was something. “ I like you Ian. yea I like sex i mean..it’s sex but if you’re not ready it’s ok. I get it.” he averted his eyes. He knew Ian didn’t trust him anymore, that’s the reason he stopped everything. “I won’t freak out again about it, I promise. You’re not stupid either... i didn’t mean that.”

 

“I hate that” Ian replied.

 

Mickey picked at his carpet “Yea I know I’m sorry.” He stood up from the floor and sat down on the bed. “I’ll walk you home if you want to go.”

 

Ian stared into Mickey’s eyes. They were so blue, almost hypnotizing. He looked down at his hands again because he wanted to stay. He wanted to cuddle and kiss and be held but he was afraid, what if Mickey was lying? What if he got mad again. He hated this feeling but he didn’t know when it would go away. Mickey really really scared him that night. He broke his trust and his heart a little. At least he thinks that what he felt when he went to sleep that night. Maybe he was to young for a relationship, it was hard and confusing. The movies made it seem better. Was he lying? Would he get mad if he really wanted to leave? “I think I wanna go home,” he said softly.

 

Mickey took in a deep breath and pressed his palms into his eyes. Stop it, don’t be a bitch jesus! “Um, yea ok. Let’s go then.” He stood up from the bed and walked to the door but Ian stayed seated. “I..i thought you meant now, did you mean later or..” He really didn’t want to dig a deeper hole, he just wanted to fix it.

 

“I changed my mind.” Ian smiled and hopped of the bed then walked over to his boyfriend. He felt like a child but he didn’t care, he felt vulnerable and scared still. “Can you just hold me maybe?”

 

Mickey laughed because he was taken back by how innocent his boyfriend looked staring up at him, the big monster. “Yea. I can do that.” He leaned down and picked up his boyfriend then set him on his bed. He lay behind Ian wrapping his arms tightly around him. “We don’t have much time.’

 

“I know. It’s Ok.”

 

He leaned his head on the pillow and scooted close to his boyfriend. He got lucky again. He meant what he said this time. He would wait.

***

 

He woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He looked at the time it was 11pm fuck. He turned to see Ian fast asleep. Shit what was he gonna say? His phone rang again..ugh “Hello”

 

“Mickey it’s almost midnight. You said 2 hours.”

 

“Yea I know. We got caught up playing video games, then we watched a movie.”

 

“I thought you went to the movies..”

 

“No we did, we just watched another one and I guess we fell asleep. I’ll wake Ian up. I’m really sorry Fiona.”

 

“It’s ok. I’m glad you had fun. I’m outside so i’ll be there in a second.”

 

“Uh yea ok. Bye”

 

He turned to ian and shook his shoulder. “Ian wake up”

 

“Mm”

 

“Ian your sisters here wake up!” He shook him harder.

 

“Fuck Mickey stop it” he snapped pushing at his boyfriend.

 

“Get up Ian Fiona is here”

 

“Wait.. what?” He sat up quickly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Why?”

 

“Because it’s midnight.”

 

“Shit” He hopped of the bed and followed his boyfriend into the living room just in time to hear the knock at the door.

 

Mickey opened the door letting Fiona in. Ian grabbed his jacket then turned to his boyfriend. “Thanks for inviting me Mick, I had a lot of fun.”

 

“Sure man. Me too. Have a good night.” he looked up at fiona. “Sorry”  
She shook her head and gave him a dismissive wave then they walked out the door.

 

****

 Christmas

 

Mickey stared at the door with a presents in his hands “You do it”

 

“No, you!” Mandy pushed at him.

 

“Seriously guys. Gimme that” Iggy snatched the gift basket from his sisters hands and rang the doorbell. The door opened letting the smell of turkey waft out the door.

 

“Merry Christmas guys! Come in come in” Fiona said with a smile. Iggy handed her the gift basket. “Aw, you guys. This is too much” she said turning around her guests following behind her.

 

They followed Fiona over to the tree and sat down the rest of the presents. “Smells really fuckin good” he sniffed the air and felt his mouth start to salivate. He walked into the kitchen abandoning the rest of his family and saw his boyfriend playing with...was that a phone? No way! “Wow Freckles” he said walking behind Ian’s chair. “Lookie what we got here” He leaned over and snatched the phone from his boyfriends hands.

 

“Hey! Give it back”

 

“Relax Gallagher.” He pulled up Ian’s phone and typed his number in under Mick. Then handed it back. “Text me so I can have your number.”

 

“I’m still trying to figure it out. Lip has a different phone I’ve never used this kind.”

 

“It’s an Iphone man. Look.” he pulled his phone from his pocket. It was an Iphone 6s the same as the one his boyfriend had only Ian’s was gold and his was silver. He rest his arm on Ians shoulder and set his hands in front of him holding his phone next to Ian’s. “There the same and pretty fuckin easy to understand.” He stood there for the next 10 minutes walking his boyfriend through his new phone. After the tutorial Ian turned to look at him there faces dangerously close. “Thanks Mick.” He almost forgot where they were and was ready to lean in and kiss soft pink lips when he heard a group of voices heading their way. He stood up straight. “You’re welcome.”

 

Fiona grabbed a 4 beers and hugged them to her chest before shutting the door.“What are you two doin back here? It’s time to open presents.”

 

Mickey glanced over at Ian. “I was showin him how to use his phone.” He held up his again. “Got the same one.”

 

“Well that was nice of you Mickey. Thanks. Come on though, presents than dinner!” Fiona smiled at the two boys then headed back to the living room.

 

“Aye Fiona” he called out. The young women turned around and raised her brow. “Can I have a beer?” Fiona nodded her head then gestured to the living room and turned around. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer popping the tap. “You heard your sister let’s go,” he said after sipping the foam flowing from the can.

 

Ian pushed in his chair and walked over to his boyfriend. Mickey looked at him strangely.

 

“What are you doin?”

 

“Cider Mick. It’s in the fridge but you’re in the way.” He crossed his arms. “You gonna move or..”

 

“Ok tough guy.” He opened the fridge and pulled out the green bottle. Ian grabbed a cup from the strainer and shoved it at him.“Feelin a little feisty today hm?” He sat down his beer and opened the glass bottle.

 

“I’m feisty everyday Mick. You should know that” he said with a smile as his boyfriend poured him his drink. He brought the glass to his lips and took a small sip.

 

“Uh huh..” he replied as his boyfriend coyly drank his drink. He was about to say something when Fiona’s voice echoed through the house.

 

“BOYS! Were waiting on you!”

 

Ian rolled his eyes and nudged his empty glass against the bottle. Mickey looked at him with shock as he filled it again before putting it back in the fridge. He took another sip of his cider as he followed behind Mickey into the living room.

 

“Finally” Lip huffed shaking his head. “What took you guys so long. Who doesn’t run for presents.”

 

Mickey laughed and sat down next to his brother as Ian sat by Mandy. “Kid wanted some cider so i got it for him.”

 

“Mickey don’t” Ian huffed “ never mind whatever” he leaned back in the couch his arms folded across his chest. He hated it when Mickey called him a kid and he fucking knew it! He knew but did it anyways. Ugh so frustrating.

 

“ok!” Lip lifted a silver and pink snowflake box in the air. “To mandy from..Ian.”

 

“can I open it?”

 

“yea go ahead” lip replied reaching for another gift “This one's from me” he hand the small box to his little brother.

 

Ian ripped open the package and a black case fell out. It looked like a video game. “whoa cool! Thanks Lip” he stood up from the couch and gave his brother a hug. “can you put it on?”

 

“After. Not now ok.”

 

“k” he went and sat back down.

 

“ian!!!” mandy held up her makeup box “thank you!”

 

“Fiona picked the colors. She said it wasn't frilly cause you wear darker colors.”

 

“I do. I love it blues and purples and eyeliner!” she leaned over and kisses his cheek. “thank you.”

 

He felt the couch dip next to him and turned to see his boyfriend. He glared at Mandy then reached down and handed him a present. “Really? For me?”

“yup”

 

He smiled and carefully opened his present. “The Avengers! I've been wanting to see this forever thank you Mickey. You're the best.” he turned and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Ian pretty sure Mickey doesn't want your cooties” lip teased.

 

Mickey sat there frozen until Lip shoved a box at him.

 

“yo, you alright man?”

 

“Y..yea no I'm good. This for me?” he grabbed the box it was pretty heavy.

 

“yep, that's from..ian”

 

He turned to the redhead next to him and gave a small smile before tearing off the paper. “No fuckin way! Are you serious?” he jumped up from the couch. “how did you even know?”

 

Ian smiled and chewed on his thumb. “you told me you wanted that one when i helped with the sandcrawler. Remember?”

 

Mickey laughed in disbelief that was almost 5 months ago. “Thanks man. I love it.”

 

“What you get Mickey?” Colin called out to his brother. Mickey held up the Lego set and he glanced at Fiona who gave him a wink. “nice job Ian.”

 

“yea man. You're the best...friend anyone could ask for” he leaned down and wrapped his boyfriend up in a bear hug almost lifting him off the floor.

 

“Hey! He’s not your best friend Mickey he’s mine!” Mandy shouted.

 

“Pretty sure he likes hangin out with me more than he likes playin with your stupid dolls.” He sat down and turned to Ian “aint that right Gallagher?”

 

He was sure he was blushing and it was out of his control to stop “I can have two best friend Mick.”

 

“No you have to chose” Mickey said crossing his arms. He didn’t know why he was suddenly feeling so territorial.

 

“Don’t be a dick Mickey” Iggy called to his little brother. “You can have more than one friend.”

 

“Whatever” he scoffed then returned his attention to his lego set. He was so excited he just wanted to open it and start putting it together.

 

Lip finished passing out the rest of the gifts. Fiona got a bath set and and itunes gift card, Lip got a laptop bag and popcorn tin. The Milkovich family got a gift card to Sizzlers and they gave his family a gift basket with different kinds of crackers, meat and cheese. There was a tin of chocolate too, which was all he cared about.  
Dinner was really nice. Iggy, Colin, and Lip set up the folding tables across the living room and Mickey brought in the chairs. Mickey sat next to him which pissed Mandy off. It was really cute actually. He was so happy Mickey made a big deal about them being best friends because now he seemed to be paying more attention to him than normally would with other people around. After dinner, Kev and Veronica came over with homemade pumpkin and cherry pies. He hated cherry pie but the pumpkin was deliciously and flakey. Mickey had one hell of a sweet tooth because he ended up eating two pieces of cherry pie and 1 piece of pumpkin. They talked about star wars. Mickey explained to him in great detail about the millenium falcon and han solo. He could listen to the older boy talk for hours, he was so passionate and his blue eyes sparkled when he described the details of the ship.

 

“So how long does it take you to put one of those together.”

 

Mickey shrugged his shoulders “depends. If i focus only a couple days at the most a week.” Ian nodded his head then took ahis final bit of pie. More like of whip cream. His boyfriend licked his forked smearing whip cream on his cheek. He wanted to lean over and lick it clean but he couldn’t… “I’m gonna go outside,” he said standing up from the table and pulling out his pack of smokes. “You wanna join me, Gallagher.”

  
“Sure”

 

“Me too!” Mandy stood up from the table.

 

“No girls allowed Mandy. Play with your makeup or somethin.”

 

“But..”

 

“It’s ok sweetie I was hoping you could give me a makeover anyway” Fiona chimed in with a smile then looked over at her little brother. “You boys bundle up it’s freezin out there.”

 

“OK Fi. Come on Mick. I gotta grab my gloves and coat.” He turned to run up the stairs Mickey following close behind him.

 

They entered his room and Mickey shut the door leaning against it.

 

“What was that all about man?”

 

Ian was confused “Uh...I don’t know what you..”

 

“The kiss Gallagher! What the fuck man?”

 

Ian sat down on his bed with his jacket in his hands. “Mandy did it I just thought..”

 

“Don’t think. You don’t need to.” He walked over and sat next to his boyfriend. “Why is this so hard for you to get. Just listen to me” he snapped.

 

Ian rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t make sense Mickey. It’s stupid.”

  
He folded his arms and looked down at his boyfriend “doesn’t have to make fuckin sense alright. You just gotta do it.”

 

“Whatever” he sighed and stood up from the bed. He opened the door and turned to Mickey “We going outside or did you just want to yell at me?”

 

He stood up and walked over to the door and leaned against it making it shut. “Are you gonna stop? You can’t hold my hand, kiss me any of that shit in public.”

 

“I said fine ok” he whined. This was getting annoying and he didn’t wanna talk about anymore. It was Christmas. “Can we go now?”

 

"C'mere"

 

Ian rolled his eyes and walked over to his boyfriend. Mickey wrapped his arms around him tightly.

 

"I really like the legos. Can't believe you remembered that shit."

 

"as I said, you told me you liked that one” he huffed still irritated.

 

"Hey don't be upset." He leaned down and kissed Ian's cheek smoothing his thumb over the other tenderly. "I just wanna be with you and i don’t want anythin to ruin it" he said softly.

 

"I just.."

 

"You want to be with me don't you?"

"duh Mickey but.."

 

"Then this is how it's gotta be for now. Come on, gimme a kiss" he stared into his boyfriend's eyes expectantly.

 

Ian glanced to the ground hesitant for a moment then leaned up to give Mickey a peck on the lips. Mickey picked him up and pushed him against the door pressing his lips against his. Everything he was feeling vanished as he wrapped his legs around Mickey’s waist and arms around his neck falling into the kiss. Mickey was such a good kisser and he couldn’t get over how strong he was. When he picked him up like it was nothing it blew his mind. Mickey’s hand were gripping his side firmly as his boyfriend started kissing under his jaw then went to suck on his neck "Mick" he sighed.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"We should probably go outside or people are gonna come up here," he said regretfully as he craned his neck for his boyfriend's mouth.

 

"Mmm, yea ok..” He lifted his head and pressed another kiss into Ians lips. He sat his boyfriend down then opened the door " Let’s go."  
***

 

“That didn’t count!” Mickey shouted walking over to his boyfriend. “You totally missed.”

 

“No. It touched your jacket that’s a point for me!”

 

Mickey licked his lips as a smirk crept across his face. “That’s how you wanna play then?” He bent down and scooped up a handful of snow molding it into a ball. “Fine” he threw the ball at Ian but the little fucker ducked. “Damn it” he scooped up another handful of snow then looked up but Ian was gone. Suddenly he felt the impact then the snow sneaking down his neck. He turned around to see Ian smiling coyly and chewing on his thumb.

 

“Got you again.” Mickey looked at him with a raised brow than ran over to him knocking him to the ground.

 

“You’re a little cheater Gallagher” he laughed tickling his boyfriend in the snow. Ian was laughing so hard his face was turning red.

 

“Stop Miickey” he squealed as he squirmed on the ground snow entering every gap between his body and his jacket. He didn’t know what to do so he reached out and tickled his boyfriend back.

 

“Hey!”

 

“How do you like it Mick hm?”

 

“Fine truce”

 

“Fine”

 

He stood up from the ground the extended his hand to the snow covered redhead. Ian grabbed it and he pulled his up. “You look like a fuckin snowman” he said with a devious grin.

 

“No shit. It’s your fault.” He started brushing the snow off his jeans then looked up at Mickey who was staring at him. “What?”

 

“Nothin it’s just” he scratched behind his neck and suddenly felt nervous. Why though, not like he hadn’t said it a million times before. “You’re somethin else Gallagher.”

 

Ian knitted his brow “What do you mean?”

 

I love you. “Nothin just you’re cute. I mean look at you, fuckin adorable man.”

 

“You’re cute too”

 

He thummed his nose then looked behind him at the back porch. His eyes glanced around the yard until they landed on the van. “C’mon.” He grabbed Ian’s hand and the two made their way to the beat up van. He walked around the side until he was certain they were out of view then pushed his boyfriend up against the way attacking him lips.

 

He grabbed the bumper of the car bracing himself as Mickey’s tongue swirled around in his mouth. Mickey lifted his hand and touched the side of his face. His hand was surprisingly warm and comforting for just being in the snow. He let go of the van and brought his hands to Mickey shoulders and stood on his toes. “Mm” he hummed into the kiss.

 

“Taste like pumpkin” he giggled before pressing a another long kiss into ian’s soft lips.

 

“You taste like cherries” he sighed and pulled away from the kiss. Mickey stepped back and he looked into his boyfriend's eyes. They were so blue and intense almost hypnotic. Mickey stared back at him. They stayed fixed on each other for several seconds that felt like eternity. He didn’t know why but he lunged forward capturing Mickey lips. Mickey stumbled back from the surprise and he followed his hands gripping firm shoulders. Mickey back into the tree and suddenly they were drenched in snow.

 

“The fuck?” he shouted shaking out his arms. He looked down at Ian who now really looked like a snow man and started laughing. Ian started laughing along with him as he shook the snow off his hands to wipe his face. “We should go inside,” he said peeking around the van. Still, no one was there plus it was dark so it didn’t really matter.

 

“Yea want hot chocolate.”

 

“Fuck yea lets go” shouted then they took off across the yard eager to get to the warmth of the house and enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate.

 

***

 

New Years

Ian sat there on the couch watching his sister decorate the house. Another party. If there is one thing his family was known for it was throwing a party. Fiona’s boyfriend bought a lot of stuff. The living room was littered with gold a black balloons. There was a giant paper 2018 that hung over the TV and scattered across the table were gold party hats and party horns. He twirled the red streamer roll in his hand thoughtfully. He was excited to see his boyfriend again, they hadn’t hung out since Christmas. Mickey had texted him a few times which was really cool but it wasn’t the same. He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. He’d kissed Mickey many times but that one lingered in his brain. It reminded him of the when they first started fooling around. He was hungry and eager and wanted more but the stupid tree ruined it. He missed Mickey’s touch too. He was aware it was in his choice to push it away but that didn’t mean he wasn’t left cold too. He wanted Mickey to do things to kiss him and touch him, to be close to him. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready yet. Mickey said he wouldn’t pressure him again and he believed him this time. He saw the sincerity and regret in his boyfriends eyes after their fight and he knew Mickey cared for him. How much he still was unsure of but he chose not to think about it.

 

“Ian what are you doin?”

 

Hey jumped at his sister’s voice pulling him from his thoughts and looked up at her “What?” Fiona pointed to his lap and he looked down to see the streamers almost completely unraveled on the floor. Oops! “Sorry Fi” it was an accident.

  
She rolled her eyes “Gimme that. Go get changed people are gonna be here soon.”

 

“I’m already dressed though” he looked down at his t-shirt and sweats.

 

“If you wanna wear sweats that’s fine just know everyone else is gonna be dressed up. It’s a themed party sweetface. Just go try on your suit. You’ll look great.”

 

He crossed his arms and leaned back in the couch “I don’t want to wear a suit Fiona it’s stupid.”

 

“Fine but Mickey and his brothers are dressin up so are Lips friends from school but it’s up to you.” She tousled her brothers hair and picked up the pile of streamer and headed to the kitchen to cut it into pieces.

 

Mickey..in a suit? He couldn’t picture that. It was just a stupid new years party why did everyone have to dress up. Stupid theme. Whatever he didn’t want to stand out so he hopped off the couch and walked around to the stairs. What the hell? He looked down and saw a red rug going from the door to the kitchen. Adults were weird. His sister never went this crazy about parties before he started dating Mike. He was cool and had money. He also liked to party but he was more into the details. He was probably the reason he had to wear a stupid suit. He rolled his eyes and walked up the stairs to his room shutting the door behind him.

***

“C’mon Mickey the party starts in 20 minutes” Iggy shouted through the closed door. “Time to go.”

 

“Nope. I’m not goin.” He stared at himself in the mirror he looked ridiculous. He didn’t care, a six pack and a joint wasn’t enough to get him to leave the house. He thought it would be but nope. Not lookin like this. His brothers told him he had to wear a suit. Fuck a suit. It was all black except for the red tie. He looked like casper going to a funeral. No fuckin way. He walked over to his bed and fell down face first into his pillow.

 

“Mickey let’s go!”

 

“Go without me. You don’t need me to flirt with Fiona” he shouted to his older brother.

 

He heard the jiggle of a lock then his door opened and his two brothers were standing there with his sister. “20$ and we leave now” Colin said reaching for his wallet.

 

He lifted his head and looked in the mirror. Ugh “Make it 40$ and we got a deal.” His brother shook his head and pulled out two twenties then walked over to him. He rolled over and reached for the money but it was quickly snatched away.

 

“You’ll get it when we get to the party.”

 

“Fine whatever” he sprang up from the bed. “Let’s fuckin go then. Get this shit over with.”

***

“Don’t you look handsome!” Fiona smiled at her little brother in his dark blue suit. “I promise everyone else will be dressed ok. In fact, i’m gonna go put on my dress right now.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders because why did he care. He still felt stupid. “Yea ok.” He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. At least there was lots of food. He grabbed a handful of m&ms and leaned back in the chair waiting for his boyfriend to arrive.

 

About 20 minutes later people started to trickle in until the house was filled with people. There were some he knew but there were a few people from his sisters work he’d never seen before. Fiona was right though, everyone was dressed up. Girls had on glittery dresses and a few hand really fluffy ones. All the guys were wearing suits, they looked way fancier than him. Suddenly he didn’t feel so stupid. His eyes scanned the crowd but no sign of his boyfriend. He pursed his lips together in disappointment and went to reach for his phone.

 

“I’ma grab a beer. Holy fuck!” He made his way to the kitchen and saw his boyfriend sitting at the table. “Hey there Freckles. That’s a lot of fuckin people.”

 

“I know” Ian said standing up from his chair. “Fiona and her boyfriend invited their friends from work too.” He started to walk to the fridge but stopped and scanned his boyfriend. Ok. Wow. He couldn’t picture it for a reason. It would have been torture, Mickey looked really really hot. His black jacket was completely unbuttoned and his tie was loose around his neck just the right amount to show his natural swagger. He shifted from foot to foot thinking of something to say.

 

Ian in a suit. Put that on the list if mental images he needed to lock away. He looked amazing. The dark blue brought out his hair and his tie had little streaks of silver.

 

“You look nice” they said in tandem. Ian glanced to the ground then back up to his boyfriend. “I didn’t want to wear this but Fiona made me” he said walking over to the fridge. He leaned against the stove. “I like your tie. Kinda look like a celebrity.”

 

Mickey laughed then took a sip of his beer. “Yea that’s the whole point. My brother said it was like red carpet or hollywood theme. Kinda stupid if you ask me, but the place looks nice.”

 

“Yea my sister spent all day on it so…”

 

“Cool” he took another sip of his beer.

 

“Hey Mick don’t aren’t you supposed to like kiss when it’s New Years?”

 

Mickey shrugged his shoulders. He usually was passed out drunk by then. This was the first year he went to a party with his brothers. “I guess that’s the tradition. Kiss when the ball drops.”

 

“Oh that sucks” Ian said dejectedly lowering his gaze as he kicked his shoe at the floor.

 

Mickey raised his brow in curiosity and dipped his head to meet his boyfriends eyes. “Why?”

 

“I don’t know, guess cause there are people and you dont wanna..”

 

“I’m gonna stop you right there Freckles.” He walked over to his boyfriend and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “When the clock strikes midnight you won't be able to stop me from kissin your ass” he whispered. Ian looked up at him with a wide grin, his green eyes beaming. “For now though we gotta figure out what to do for the next 90 minutes.”

 

“But the ball drops at Midnight that’s 2 hours away.”

 

“Yup I know. Don’t worry about it.”

****

  
He was sitting on the stairs playing on his phone when he got a text message.

 

Mick (11:20) meet me out back

Ian (11:22) Why?

Mick (11:25) smh. Just go

Ian (11:28) ok. What does smh mean?

Mick (11:30) why are you still inside, get your ass out here lol.

Ian (11:30) what does lol mean?

Mick (11:31) Ian!

 

He ran his hand down his face in frustration. Ian was cute sure but he didn’t want to spend this time texting when they could be hangin out together and he found the perfect spot. Nobody would even notice they were gone there were so many people most of which were pretty shitfaced. He waited at the bottom of the stairs until he saw a glimpse of red hair. “Took you long enough fuck.”

 

“ I didn’t understand what you were saying. Don’t get mad at me.”

 

Mickey’s eyes raised in surprise “What? I’m not mad at you, i was just fuckin with you. Come on.” He grabbed Ians hand and walked around the staircase to the back side of the house. “In here” he opened the little door that lead down into the cellar. He flicked on the light. “I know it’s kinda creepy but i swiped some stuff to make it cooler. This could be our spot man.” He started down the stairs. “We have one in our backyard so i went out earlier to look for one and boom.”

 

He followed his boyfriend down the stairs and the door shut above them. The room was dusty and smelled musty but other than that not bad. He didn’t even know they had a cellar but there were boxes and and old tv laying against the wall.

 

“I tried to brush away the cobwebs but it’s a cellar” he said sitting down on the blanket he stole.

 

“It’s awesome Mick.” He sat down next to his boyfriend and looked around. There were two pillows and a large blanket that were in the van. No one would care if they were missing.

 

“Good we got about 15 minutes till showtime so lets light up.” He pulled the joint from behind his ear and reached for his lighter. He took a long drag then turned to kiss boyfriend. He waved at him to come closer and Ian leaned forward. He closed the distance between them and blew them smoke into his mouth.

 

“Shit” Ian coughed as inhaled the smoke. “What was that?” He coughed bringing his hand to his mouth. He finally regained his composure and now felt lightheaded like his body ws lifting from the ground.

 

“Weed..” he replied studying his boyfriends face. “What do you think?”

 

“I like it” he laughed and reached for the joint. He took a deep drag and started coughing immediately harder than the first time.

 

“Easy there tough guy” he grabbed the joint from Ian’s hands and patted him on the back playfully. “I think that’s good for now.” He took a few more drags and held them in as long as he could before putting it out. He pulled out his phone still about 8 minutes. He pulled up his playlist and decided on his mix of One Republic and Twenty One Pilots. He was surprised he got signal down here, it was shitty but he was still able to pull up a stream of New York. He grabbed Ians hand and lay back on the blanket. Ian looked down at him then laid down on his side. He handed him his phone so he could see.  
“Wow Mick that’s New York!” he exclaimed looking at the tall buildings in the background.

 

“Yup.”

 

“That’s where you wanna go to build houses?”

 

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “Na man not houses, buildings, mansions that kinda shit.”

 

“You really wanna leave Chicago” he rest his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. He didn’t want Mickey to go. He liked Mickey and hoped they would be together forever.

 

He turned his head to look into big green eyes. Ian was looking at him with such adoration it made his stomach knot but in a good way. He really did want to leave Chicago, he kinda hated it here. There were to many bad memories. Things were different now though, now he had Ian. he could be an EMT in New York. They would be accepted more in the Big City too. He was thinking to far ahead, he didn’t even know if thing with Ian would last. He wanted it too. He wanted to be with him more than anything he’d ever wanted before but he had a habit of fuckin things up, and with Ian he didn’t know when he would finally push him away. He didn’t want to think about that time. He wanted to think about now. Now he was cuddled next to someone he loved sharing a moment.

 

“Yea man. Wanna leave and never look back” he replied. “So much to see out there you know? I think you would like it.”

 

Ian’s heart fluttered at the words but he wasn’t sure how to interpret them. Mickey thinking he would like New York. Did that mean he wanted to be together forever too? He wasn’t gonna ask. He didn’t want to ruin the moment so instead he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend running his hand up his arm and pressing his cheek against his warm chest.

 

“2 more minutes.” He flipped through his playlist and clicked on one of his favorite songs letting it play in the background as they watched the cameraman zoom in on the ball. “1 minute..”

 

‘Lately I been, I been losing sleep  
Dreaming about the things that we could be  
But baby I been, I been prayin' hard  
Said no more counting dollars  
We'll be counting stars  
Yeah, we'll be counting stars’

 

“Ok sit up.” Ian sat up next to him as he held his phone in front of them, the music filling the room along with the chanting of voices.

 

‘I, feel something so right  
Doing the wrong thing  
I, feel something so wrong  
But doing the right thing’

 

“Here we go.” He started the countdown and Ian joined in.  
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 ,4, 3, 2, 1” he turned to his boyfriend “Happy New Year!!” He cupped Ian’s face in hand smoothing his thumb over his cheek before surging forward and pressing a passionate kiss against him lips.

 

He wrapped his arms around Mickey’s neck pulling him in closer. His lips parted allowing the older boy’s tongue to caress his own as hands moved down his sides squeezing gently. “Mickey..” he moaned barely above a whisper. He wanted to be touched. He wanted his boyfriend, to be close to him. He leaned back pulling the olde boy down with him their lips staying locked together. Mickey’s body towered over him allowing his hands to reach for his boyfriends pants and unhook them.

 

Mickey pulled back and looked down and his boyfriend then he dipped his head and attacked the skin on his neck pulling it between his teeth careful not to leave a mark. He wanted to though...maybe somewhere else. His licked and sucked at Ian’s neck until he felt a hand slip into his pants and grasp his tightly. He lifted his head and looked at Ian. Green eyes blinked innocently at him then Ian let go and sat up quickly undoing the buttons on his dress shirt. He stared with wide eyes as his boyfriend took off his shirt and then reached down to undo his pants. He was frozen in the moment, he couldn’t think. Ian was so god damn beautiful with his pale skin littered in tiny freckles, his skin smooth to the touch and that fuckin smile he was giving him. That smile that told him he wanted him just as much as he did. He sat back on his knees and undid his shirt throwing it to the side then reached for his pants. He started to pull them down then stopped. This wasn’t about him, this was about Ian. He wanted to make him cum again and see that look in his eyes when he breathed his name. He leaned back down on top of a now naked Ian Gallagher taking him in with his eyes once more. “Fuck Ian..” he sighed then kissed his chest as his fingertips ran up his side. “You’re so fuckin sexy.”

 

“Why are you still wearing clothes?” He reached his hands out and tugged on the open flap of Mickey dress pants “Take them off.”

 

“Y..yea ok” he stammered. Could he seem more desperate. He quickly pulled down his pants and slipped off his boxers. Now they were both naked for the first time in over 2 months. He leaned down again and the moment his skin met with the warmth of Ians a fire ignited for both of them. He captured his boyfriends lips bringing his hand up to caress his face tenderly. “I missed you” he said softly then pulled back fully aware that’s how he ruined shit last time. Ian just tilted his head slightly and extended his arm to pull him back down until their noses were touching.

  
“I missed you to.” He closed the distance between them and slowly spread his legs allowing his boyfriends body to nestle comfortably between them.

 

He turned his lead and started pressing small kisses into his boyfriend's neck until he reached his collar bone. He lifted his head scooting back then let his tongue trace down Ian’s smooth stomach leaving tiny kisses along the way until he met with the V of his pelvis. He glanced up at his boyfriend who was staring at him intensely.

 

“I..it’s ok” he said with a shallow breath. He felt vulnerable and nervous but he trusted Mickey. He reminded himself that. “Touch me”

 

“Mm baby” he groaned then scooted further back leaning down until Ians hard dick was in his face. He kissed the tip and lockd eyes with his boyfriend as his lips parted and slid down the boys shaft.

 

“Uh” he gasped at the foreign feeling.

 

“Mmm” Mickey hummed as his tongue licked and swirled around Ian. “Taste so fuckin sweet baby. Missed your taste” he purred nipping at the skin on Ian’s length.

 

“Hmm uh Mickey..” He licked his lips as Mickey’s hair slipped softly through his fingers as the older boy bobbed his head up and down. “Soo good”

 

He was so hard right now it hurt. He reached down frantically and grabbed his leaking cock. He began stroking it to his rythm around Ian. “hmmm” he groaned feeling ready to bust already. That’s what happens when you haven’t seen your boyfriends masterpiece of a body in so long. He hallowed his cheeks and reached his other hand up to move his fingers along Ian’s shaft as he took him in.

 

“Mm fuck...Mi..Mickey I’m gonna cum” he cried out. He clutched his boyfriends hair tightly in a fist and thrust his hips up as he felt a wave of heat take him under and he spilled out into his boyfriend waiting mouth. “Huuuh” he moaned then let his head fall back into the pillow.

 

“Mmm fuck” Mickey gasped as his hand filled with hot cum. He wiped it on the blanket then crawled back up his boyfriends body to stare at Ian’s flushed face. “C’mere” he said then started to lean down. Ian sprang up and pulled him down into the kiss. “Happy New Year Baby” he whispered afraid if he said it to loud it would burst the bubble they were floating in.

 

“Happy New Year Mick.”


	8. Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys decide what to get each other for Valentine's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff but you know how I do, what goes up must come down so enjoy it while you can xox

Over the last few weeks things started to get back to normal. He and Mickey tried to spend every free minute together and when they couldn't they would text each other. Now that they had their spot they could meet up or even sneak out if the timing was right. Mickey was really into this whole “our spot” thing so he asked him to do some recon. There were boxes down there so he wanted to know how often it was used. Lucky for them when he asked his sister about she seemed to have no idea what he was talking about. His brother however filled in the missing piece telling him that was franks stuff boxed up down there for whenever he decided to return. They could care less and chose to forget the thing even existed. This was music to his ears and he couldn’t wait to tell his boyfriend.

 

Ian (6:50am) Hey Mick guess what?????

Mick (6:52am) What?

Ian (6:54am) Fiona said. No lip said that stuff down there is my dads. Well kinda stepdads and he’s been gone for a long time and no one uses it

Ian (6:56am) Now we can fix it up make like a real secret hideout with comics and posters and all that stuff right???

Mickey grinned as he took the last bite of his cereal and stared at his phone. He was stoked. He’d never had a secret hideout before, not even a playfort. He and Ian could just kick it and smoke weed, watch youtube, fuck...it was perfect.

Mick (7:00am) Fuck yea man. We’ll start puttin shit down there tonight alright.

Ian (7:02) K. 

He put his phone away then walked into his bedroom to get ready for school. He grabbed a fresh change of clothes keeping Ian in mind he wanted to look nice. He grabbed a black shirt and a grey and weight button up with jeans and headed to the bathroom. He went to open the door and it was locked. His brothers were already gone so it had to be his stupid sister.

“Mandy!” he banged on the door. “Hurry the fuck up, i gotta take a piss.” He pressed his thumbs into his temples and rubbed in frustration. He leaned against the wall and waited until finally about 5 minutes later the water stopped. After another 5 minutes the door opened and Mandy stepped out brushing her hair. 

“All yours.”

He rolled his eyes and pushed passed his sister closing the door behind him. He pulled up his playlist and put it on shuffle as he pulled off his clothes then stepped into the shower. The water glided over his shoulders and down his stomach massaging his body with his warmth. He was in a pretty good mood. Ever since New Years he and Ian had gone back to normal. Things started small, a blow job here and there but then Ian let him go further. He wasn’t even expecting that but they were naked on the couch and he was squeezing soft white flesh in his hands when the younger boy opened his legs wider and told him he wanted to feel him again. He didn’t know exactly what he meant so he gently swiped a finger over his hole causing the boy to lick his lips and whisper do it. There was no goin back after that. He lived for the sounds his boyfriend made under his touch. You could say he was a generous lover but the truth is he was just cautious. He wanted Ian to touch him more than anything but unless he was fuckin him he didn’t want to be touched. After that night it was clear he had zero chill. He could try but it wasn’t worth it again. So this was good. He could blow and fingerfuck his little boyfriend making him come whenever he wanted and jack off to the sounds and faces he made. He was content.

Valentines day was next week. He’d never been in a relationship before so he didn’t really know what to get Ian of he even should get him somethin. He didn’t know who to ask either except one person. His art teacher Mr. Scott was gay. He asked all his students to call him Scotty which he thought was really fuckin cool. Mr. Scott always told him he had promise. He liked to build yes but he also liked to draw. No he loved to draw. He would draw his creations as he completed them attempting to make blue prints. He would draw the school at recess breaking it down into each little section. He didn’t share it with anyone though, it wasn’t very street to draw. His family would probably be ok with it but he grew up hearing how things like drawing and dancing and acting were for girls or fags. His father said that about everything he did which was ironic to say the least. Ugh. He shivered and shook the thought away. Mr.Scott would know what to do for sure.

****

“Hey fi can I ask you a question?” His sister glanced over to him then back at the road.

“Sure sweetface what’s on your mind?”

He pursed his lips pondering how to approach the question. He wanted to tell her so badly about Mickey but his boyfriend made it clear how he felt about that which he still didn’t get. Why would anyone care? He rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “I like someone..”

“Oh you do?”

“Yea I do like a lot and Valentine's Day is next week but i don't know what to get.”

She smiled at her little brother then tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. “Well what does she like? What’s her favorite color?”

“Oh it’s not a girl. He like sweet things, superheroes, starwars, twenty one pilots...uh”

“A boy?” she said with only surprise in her voice. This was not the topic of conversation she expected. She wanted her brother to be careful though. Kids can be very mean, scared of anything different “does this boy like you?”

“I really think he does. I really hope he does. That’s why i want to get him a Valentine. Oh his favorite color is red.”

“OK. Everyone likes candy. You should get him a box of chocolates like Mike gets me. The red heart is really cute.”

He frowned and knitted his brow, that seemed lame. “can’t just get him the same thing Mike gets you Fiii” he whined. “It has to be special like him.”

Oh my god. She wanted to hug her little brother tight. She remembered her first crush. It was an exciting time. Ian was only 12 but she knew that things happen when they happen. She wanted to support the school girl crush the best she could. “Well in that case I think we need to go shopping this weekend see what we can find.”

Ian’s face lit up for a moment then fell again. “Don’t you work?”

“I do but I’m sure I can manage a few hours for the mall. Just you and me.”

“Yay! I want to do that. Then we can find something awesome and it will be the best Valentine he gets.” He leaned over and hugged his sister as she approached the drop of lane.  
“Mickey’s gonna pick you up from school today Ok.”

His day was just getting better and better. “Ok. bye Fi” he closed the door and waved to his sister as she drove off. He didn’t know how he would be able to concentrate today with all this excitement.

*****

“Very nice Mickey. I love your use of drop shadow on the building” Mr. Scott leaned over his shoulder to inspect his picture. He was drawing Ian’s house with the sun behind it. “Just be careful to pay attention to the big picture.” His teacher pointed to the sun. “If the sun is here then the shadow would land..here.” His teacher pointed to a blank spot next to the fence.

“Damn it” he huffed and threw down his pencil. How could he miss that? It’s not the first time he’s drawn buildings, it was his favorite thing to do...maybe that’s why it pissed him off. He ripped the page from his sketchbook and balled it up.

“The drawing was wonderful Mickey, it’s just the little details that take it from wonderful to alive, like you were standing in front of that house looking at the shadow on the grass.” He tapped his shoulder “I think you can bring the page alive, I’ve seen you it.” He teacher gave him a comforting smile then walked over to inspect the next students drawing.

He spent the rest of the class redrawing the house, shading in under the stairs and redoing the shadow from the sun. He took his time with the fence and the detail in the front door. By the end of class he was actually glad he started over, not to toot his own horn but it almost look black and white photo..almost. He took his time gathering his supplies as the rest of the students slowly trickled from the room until only him and he and his teacher remained.  
“Aye Scotty I got a question for ya” he called across the the room to his teacher who was washing paint brushes. Mr. Scott turned off the water and turned to him.

“Mickey. You should get going or you’’ll be late to 4th period.”

He shrugged his shoulders and walked over to his teacher. “I need to talk to you. I don’t know who else to talk to” he scratched his neck nervously.

“Of course. Don’t worry about 4th i’ll write you a pass. So what's on your mind kiddo?” Mr. Scott leaned against the double sink and crossed his arms.

He reached around and scratched his neck nervously. “alright. Here's the deal. I have a friend who seein someone and they’re really new at this whole datin thing..”

Mr. Scott nodded his head as his lips curled up in an amused. “I see and you want to help this friend how?”

“well it’s Valentine's next week and he doesn't know what he should get.” He thumbed at his nose and crossed his arms. “he really likes this person so…”

“ok well what does this girl like?”

He glanced down to the ground as his fingers wrapped around the strings from his hoodie. “Hmm not sure really” he paused and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. “and it's he not she” he corrected.

Mr.Scott raised his brow in surprise and smiled. “Oh..i see. How long has your friend been seeing this special someone?”

“about 7 months..”

“wow” his teacher replied in approval that sounds serious.

“yup.”

“flowers are always a go to on Valentine's Day but for you...your friend I mean I would go with something a bit more personal maybe like a poem or maybe a nice dinner date.”

He bunched his face up at his teachers suggestions. A poem? Really? Yea that was not gonna happen. Ugh. This was a waste of time. “you got anything that's not super sappy?”

Mr. Scott chuckled. “well mickey it’s a sappy holiday.”

“right...well thanks for the suggestions I guess.”

“anytime.” his teacher stood up straight and walked over to his desk grabbing a pad of paper. “if your friend has anymore questions about anything. They are more than welcome to ask okay.” He ripped the pass from his pad and handed it to him.

“great “

****  
Fiona turned to her little brother and held up a teddy bear with a small heart shape box attached to the front. “how bout this?” she questioned raising her brow. “pretty cute right?”

He looked over the small gift in his sister's hands and pursed his lips in disapproval. “No, everybody get those. I want something special remember?”

She rolled her eyes. To be a kid a kid again and worry about such trivial things...if only.” She set the bear down and walked around the display. Everything this store was pretty much the same, stuffed animals and boxes of candy. She looked over at her brother who was looking at a display of coffee mugs.  
“how about we keep check out another?”

He sat down the mug he was looking at and shrugged his shoulders. “Ok. Where else you think we'll find something?”

 

“well there's another gift shop by the food court we could check out, maybe grab a little lunch. I was thinkin pizza.”

“hmm not pizza. How about bbq?”

“Bbq it is. Come on.” She reached for her brothers hand and the two walked out of the store and the two left the store.

***  
Mickey walked around the store looking at the different displays, shit was expensive. Who would even shop here? Oh that's right his brother. Since he struck out with his teacher his next and only other option was his older brother. He'd been seein this chick Cassie since right after Christmas and the guy would not shut up about her. Apparently flowers and jewelry are a staple on Valentine's day. His brother wanted to get his girlfriend a charm bracelet. That would be simple enough but guys don't wear bracelets...do they? Nah..

He let out an exasperated with. He wasn't gonna find anything in this fuckin place, just another waste of time. He walked over to his brother who was busy talking with the cashier. He was leaning against the counter when something caught his eye in a display on the wall. He walked over to get a closer look. There hanging on the shelf were leather bracelets with little silver accents. He pulled down a package and flipped it over in his hand. Custom Engravable Bracelet. This was cool actually. It came with two matching bracelets for $60 and that included the engraving up to 3 letters. That will flowers and candy should make a good gift right?  
He was staring at the package contemplating whether or not this is why he really wanted when he felt someone lingering behind him. He quickly turned to head to see his brother grinning at him.

“what man?”

Iggy snatched the package from his brothers hands and let out a small laugh. “really friendship bracelets?”

“shut up, gimme that” he reached for the package but his brother held it out of reach.

“whoa your friend kiddo?”

He rolled his eyes crossed his arms “none of who fuckin business that's who.”

Iggy stared at his little brother raising his brow in amusement. It was so fun to piss him off and so easy. “easier there tough guy” he said passing the package back. “I think it's cool you finally have a friend. Didn't think anyone would put up with your grumpy ass.”

“fuck off” he said rubbing his thumb over the package. “what do you think though? Honestly. Don't be a dick.” His brother shrugged his shoulders.

“it's cute.”

His brow furrowed at the word. “cute? Why is it cute?”

“whatever man. Nice. It's nice is that better. Stop worrying about what I think. You like it?”

“maybe..i don't know.” He kinda did though. It was sappy and definitely not what he thought he would get but yea..he liked it. “I guess.” 

Iggy rolled his eyes at his little brother. “then fuckin get it and let's go man. I still gotta stop by the shop.”

He thumbed at his nose and licked his lips, “yea alright.” He walked with his brother over to the counter and paid for the bracelets. The lady asked him what he wanted engraved.

Fuck. He didn't think about that.

She handed him a sheet with suggestions. There was an infinity symbol, a heart (lame) , bff and initials. Not a very big selection. He punched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He had no fuckin clue what to put. Initials were stupid and a heart was a dead giveaway. The infinity symbol maybe...he did want them to be together forever. Ugh he was being such a girl right now, just pick! He tapped his fingers against the counter and could feel two pairs of eyes drilling into him. BFF...best friends forever..not best friends boyfriends. There's the fuckin sappiness again, come on man. Ok that was it. He passed the here of paper back to the cashier and told her his choice. He was surprised how quick the process was. After about 20 minutes they were walking out of the store and heading to the shop. All he needed now was flowers and candy.

****  
He walked through the aisles staring at the glass figurines. This stuff was really cool but not something his boyfriend would like more like his grandma. Why were they even here? His eyes traced over the shelf of fairies and dragons searching for anything that shouted Mickey. He was bout to give up when he saw a shelf with glass globes of various sizes. He couldn't quite make out what they said or what was in them so he knelt down to get a better look. They looked kinda like snow globes but minus the snow. There was one with a theater. There was a grand piano with a rose on top and a red curtain. He picked it up and watched as the the image morphed with each way he twirled it in his fingers. “Neat!” he set the globe down and reached for another. This one had the Eiffel Tower and little people walking around a park with a little Paris sign. It was cool but Mickey didn't like Paris. He set the globe down with disappointment and went to stand up when he saw one at the end of the shelf that was red. His boyfriends favorite color was red. He reached for it and his eyes lit up with excitement. There was giant neon New York sign and a small street with a pizzeria and a bakery. To top it of in front of the pizzeria was a shiny red Cadillac . It was perfect! He would get this and chocolate covered cherries because he knew for a fact his boyfriend like both chocolate and cherries so it was a win win. He stood up from the ground and walked over to his sister. “This is what I want. It's perfect look.” he shoved the glass ball at his sister. She grabbed it and stared with a confused look in face.

“this?” She looked at the ball then down at her brother. “sweetie this has nothin to do with Valentine's Day. You sure this is what you want?”

Ian nodded his head. “Yup. It's gonna be the best gift ever!”

“Ok then. Let's get this wrapped up and then Bbq.”

***

His eyes fluttered open as the sound of his alarm filled the room. Today was the day. He had decided that he would give Ian his real gift later and surprise him with the rest. He quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed a change of clothes eager to start the day. Fuckin Gallagher makin him all mushy and shit. He didn't do this kinda thing like ever but the look on Ian's face would be priceless. 

Once he was dressed he made his way to his dresser and grabbed the basket. He was just gonna do some candy and a card when he past this basket in the mall. Of course he came back on his own are you kidding? Iggy would have eaten him alive if he saw what he bought. Fuck it. He had his own money and didn't pay for shit really so he could but whatever he wanted. Just so happened a giant ass red bear with candy and flowers happened to be what he wanted..

Shut up alright.It was fuckin Valentine's Day and things were finally getting back to normal after his massive fuck up so sappy and romantic it is. He looked at his watch it was 5:30 am, still dark but soon the sun and people would be up. He grabbed a black trash bag and slipped it over the monstrous gift and quietly snuck out the door.

****

He was sitting downstairs packaging Valentine's when there was a loud knock on the door.

“who the hells knockin at this hour?” Fiona tied her robe and grabbed her cup of coffee before making her way to the door. She carefully opened it to find a trash bag sitting on the porch.

“who is it Fi?” he called as he walked over to his sister.

“not who but what sweetie, grab me the broom.”

“why?”

“because i said so, do it now” she snapped, apprehensive of the strange package. A few minutes later her little brother returned with a pout on his face and broom in his hand. She never yelled at him really, his step dad had done that enough. “hey” she reached out and pulled her brother in close. “What do you think it is”

 

He shrugged his shoulders and poked the bag. “this is stupid Fi” he huffed then reached out and untied the bag. He saw glimpses of red as he rolled it down then his eyes widened.

“Oh my god! He didn't” Fiona exclaimed pulling the giant bear and basket out of the bag. She grabbed the small bouquet of flowers nestled carefully in the bears hands and hugged them to her chest. She looked over to her brother. “Can you believe it?” she reached for the little card in the bouquet and read it aloud. 

New at this shit so Happy Valentine's Day Freckles . Be mine  
Xo

She looked down at her brother then back at the card and sucked in her lip taking a deep breath, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Wow Ian, looks like someone's sweet on you” she smiled and handed the bear to her little brother. “Whoever it is, gotta say I'm impressed.” She leaned down and kissed her brothers cheek. Young love was adorable and she was happy her brother had a Valentine. “Come on Sweetface. Go put that upstairs and i'll take these” she reached for the flowers “ and put them in water but we gotta finish those cards.”

“k” he replied his eyes still locked on the beady black ones on the red bear. It's was almost as big as him. He hugged it tightly and the faint smell of chocolate wafted up his nose. He looked around the street before going inside but saw no one. He knew who it was from. A certain blue eyed boy who he happened to be falling for hard, maybe he was falling too.

****

Ian sat next to his friend and dumped out his homemade Valentine box. There were several stray pieces of candy along the about 8 taped up Valentines. 

“Oh my god Ian look” Mandy held up and white Valentine with a red glitter heart. “It’s from Chase! He likes me!” she shoved the folded up piece of paper at her friend.

“Chase? That’s pretty freakin cool Mandy. Haven’t you had a crush on him like since 3rd grade?”

“Duh! I didn’t think he liked me back though. Oh my god!”

He laughed at his friends enthusiasm. It was nice to see her so happy. “So are you gonna talk to him?”

Mandy turned to her friend with a raised brow and look of confusion spread across her face. “Why would I do that? Wait don’t answer.” she rolled her eyes. “You just get how it feels to have a secret admirer.”

He really wanted to say something but held his tongue. If only Mandy knew how long he’d been in a real relationship. Her stupid school girl crush didn’t hold a candle to what he and Mickey had. “You’re right Mands. What do I know?”

***

Mickey sat at lunch pushing around his mac and cheese with his fork. He was really nervous about tonight. He had something big planned. NOt really big but important but he was afraid he would fuck it all up like he usually did. He watched Ian open his present this morning and just like he thought the boys smile lit up through the darkness and was totally worth crouching behind a car in the snow.

He truly hated Valentines Day. Everyone was so sappy and his class had to have a stupid party. The only reason he gave a shit this year was because of Ian. He was taken by surprise when his phone buzzed as he walked down the hallway to his english class. He pulled it out and his heart fluttered. It was Fiona. Of fuckin course Fiona was going out for Valentines Day and needed a babysitter. Why he didn’t assume that was beyond him but it made his plans for the evening so much more feasible. He really hoped Ian liked the bracelets. It had to be the gayest shit he’d ever done but the kid brought that side out of him no matter how hard he tried to resist it. Tonight was going to be proof of that.

**

He was sitting down on his couch listening to Mandy talk about Chase for the 20th time today. He hadn’t seen 1 text from Mickey all day. He thought about texting him to say thank you for the gift but he was hoping Mickey would text first so instead he waited. He knew Mickey was coming over soon but he wasn’t sure what to say. For one he didn’t want to embarass him and 2 a tiny part was still unsure if it really was from Mickey. The nickname and everything else pointed to the older boy but it was just so out of character. He heard a commotion from the top of the stairs and looked up to see his very irritated big sister holding a nerf gun.

“Ian! I told you not to leave your shit on the stairs. I could have broken my neck.” She shoved the gun at her brother. “Go put it away.”

He rolled his eyes and snatched the toy gun from his sister before turning to look at his friend . “Let’s hang out in my room” he said jumping up from the couch. Mandy followed and the two went up the stairs to his room. They sat down on his bed and Mandy grabbed his bear.

“Ian this is soo cute. Where’d you get it?”

He blushed grabbing the bear back from his friend and hugging it to his chest. “My boyfriend” he replied simply.

Mandy’s eyes widened “You have a boyfriend? No way. You’re lyin.”

He furrowed his brow in frustration and folded his arms across his chest. “No I’m not Mandy. I have a boyfriend and he gave me this and flowers and candy. Not just a stupid Valentine card”

“It’s not stupid” Mandy replied dejectedly touching the folding card in her jacket pocket. “Just cause you have a boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk Ian” she snapped then stood up to leave.

He reached out and grabbed his friends arm “I’m sorry Mands. It’s just I think it’s from him. I don’t know and he hasn’t talked to me all day so..”

She sat back down and looked over at her friend. “So..who is this mystery guy?”

Ian rolled his eyes and fell back against his pillow. “I can’t say.”  
Mandy turned around and climbed next to her friend then rolled over to look at the ceiling. “Why not is he ugly?”

He turned his head and Mandy turned hers a devious smile creeping across her face. “No he’s not fucking ugly ok. Actually he’s the hottest guy i’ve ever met.” His friends eyes widened at the words.

“Hotter than JT?”

He laughed and nodded his head “Yea..way hotter. He’s got this thing about him that’s so dark and mysterious.” He fiddled with the bowtie around the bears neck at he pictured Mickey’s ocean eyes. “I don’t know he’s just intesence you know like everything he does just..” he sighed and looked at his friend “I don’t know how to describe it.”

She rolled onto her side and propped her head on her elbow. “If you like this guy so much why can’t you tell me who he is. I thought we were friends?”

“We are but he told me not too.”

“Don’t tell him. I can keep a secret Ian I pinkie swear” she stuck out her pinkie eagerly waiting for her friend to except.

He thought for a moment. It didn’t make any sense why he had to keep it a secret but he knew Mickey would be mad if he told and he didn’t want that. He said mean things when he was mad, plus he made a promise and Mickey was trusting him to keep it. “Sorry Mands I really can’t.”

“Ughh!” she huffed and sat up quickly. “Whatever have your stupid secret boyfriend, I’m going home.”

“Wait” he sat up and followed his friend to the hallway “You don’t have to leave. I thought we were gonna watch a movie.”

She rolled her eyes because her feeling were hurt. Ian didn’t trust her. “I don’t wanna watch one with you cause your not really my friend. Friends don’t keep secrets!” With that she ran down the stairs and out the door smacking directly into her older brother. “Miickey!” 

“Slow the fuck down. Jesus Mandy” he snapped stepping to the side. His little sister ran passed him not looking back. He looked to the stairs to see a very irritated looking Ian Gallagher. Fuckin great.  
“The fuck was that all about?”

“I don’t know Mick maybe the fact I can’t tell my..”

Fiona walked into the living room “I thought I heard you. Right on time as usual.” She smiled and reached into her purse pulling out her wallet. “Heres and extra 25$, Mike got us a room at this snazzy hotel” she glanced over at her little brother. “He can stay home tomorrow just make sure to call it out. Here’s my number if they have questions ok”

“Sure thing”

She looked down at her phone. “Ooh he sent a car!! I’m so excited. Come, gimme a kiss” she turned to her brother and opened her arms. Ian walked slowly down the stairs and very stiffly gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“I’m too old for this Fi” he huffed when his sister squeezed him in a bear hug and started pecking at his cheek.

“Always be my baby brother” she replied. “Bye guys, be good. Love you both.” She waved goodbye then headed out the front door.

Once the door was shut Mickey turned his attention back to his disgruntled redhead. “You were sayin?”

He rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch. “Doesn’t matter.”

Nope, not gonna do this on Valentines Day. He actually put effort into this fuckin shit. He hung his jacket on the coat rack then sat down on the couch beside his boyfriend. “Come on man, work with me. What’s wrong?”

He glanced at his boyfriend then brought his thumb to his mouth nervously “She’s pissed cause she wanted to know who the bear was from but..”

“Wait what? You told her!” He yelled jumping up from the couch. “You told my sister? Are you fuckin kidding me Ian!” He rubbed his knuckle to his nose and let out a small laugh because come the fuck on. “ How fuckin stupid are you hm? I really wanna know. What part of..”

“Jesus Mickey shut up already” he cried pulling his legs up to his chest as he sank onto the couch. He could feel the tears prickling at his eyes as they threatened to fall. “I didn’t tell her anything you you dick.” he sniffled. “I didn’t cause you told me not to and now she’s mad at me and your being mean and it’s Valentines Day and and I’m not fucking stupid.” he started to cry and buried his face in his lap. This was not supposed to happen.

Holy fuck he was an asshole. He didn’t even let Ian finish taking before jumping down his throat. “Hey” he reached out to touch his shoulder but the boy pulled away.

“Don’t touch me! Just leave me alone” he sniffled.

“No.. c’mere” He scooted closer to his boyfriend and pulled him onto his lap so he was facing him. Ians hands were pressed over his eyes “Hey i’m a dick ok. You’re right I’m sorry. Hey” he pulled small hands from teary eyes and used his own to wipe them away. “I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it.”

Ian blinked the remaining tears from his eyes and stared into concerned blue eyes. They were mesmerizing but.. “You didn’t even listen to me” he cried.

“I know.” He leaned down to kiss trembling soft pink lips. “I said I’m sorry. Can we start over hmm? Did you like your stuff?” He smoothed his thumb over his boyfriends flushed cheek. “You like the flowers? The lady said they were the right kind.”

Ian lowered his eyes and pouted his lip “Yea” he said softly “I liked them a lot”

Fuuck. What is wrong with him? Why did he have to fuck up this perfect day? “Uh.. that’s good. Got you somethin else too but I wanted to give it to you in person or whatever...”

Ian looked up at his boyfriend then climbed down from his lap. “I got you something to.” He replied wiping his face one last time composing himself. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the red bag from the table then walked back over to the couch. “Here.” He shoved the bag at Mickey then walked to the end of the couch and sat down huddling into the corner.

Ian looked so sad and innocent curled up into a ball like that. He would say adorable but his boyfriend wasn’t being shy no he was upset and that was not ok. He needed to fix it but he didn’t know how. He smiled weakly and reached into the bag pulling out a bag of Lindor Chocolate covered cherries. “I fuckin love these” he looked over at his boyfriend and noticed his eyes brighten at his words. “Fuckin amazing thank you.” He set the bag down thinking that was it but then a freckled hand handed it back.

“That’s not your gift” Ian said before sitting next to his boyfriend and leaning his head on his firm shoulder. Mickey cocked his brow then reached into the bag again pulling out the glass dome. He watched his boyfriends face eager to see his reaction, needing to see it.

His eyes widened and he felt a warmth blanket his heart and butterflies flutter around his stomach. This fuckin kid. He twirled the paperweight in his hand looking at the different angles. It would be perfect for his sketch paper, hold it down so it didn’t move. He turned to his boyfriend who was fidgeting with his fingers staring at the ground. He grabbed his fidgety hands and brought them to his mouth kissing them gently. “We’re gonna go there someday” he said softly looking into big green eyes. “You and me. I’ma build big ass buildings and you can bandage up people and whatever the fuck else and EMT does.” Ian lips curled up in a small smile so he pulled him against his chest holding him tight. “That’s if I don’t run you away by then.”

Ian laughed and sat up as he wiped his eyes. Why was he crying again? He wasn’t sad or upset anymore, if anything he was passed the point of happy. Mickey just said he wanted to be with him forever. He felt the same way. 

Ian was still crying. It was less but damn it. This isn’t how he wanted things to go but fine. “I uh..I got you this too” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the two bracelets. He unclasped one and brought it down to Ians wrist clasping it together again. “Now you put on mine.”

Ian undid the bracelet then with shaky hands put it around his boyfriends wrist. He grabbed his own and looked at it thoughtfully. “BFF?” he glanced up at Mickey. “Best friends forever Mick?”

He felt a blush spread across his cheeks and he threaded his fingers among smaller, softer ones. “No, that’s what people will think. It means boyfriends forever.”

“What? Really?” he ran his thumb over the engraving and the infinity symbol. “Forever?”

God this was so fuckin gay. He wanted to beat himself up for bein a fuckin bitch. “Forever.” He leaned down capturing Ian’s lips in his. The younger boy pulled back and sat up then climbed off the couch. “Where you goin man, get back here” he sighed.

“What? The bed is more comfortable. Come on Mick” he ran up the stairs with a smile hearing his groans from his grumpy boyfriend. He walked into his room and peeled off his shirt and kicked off his pants then climbed on his bed. A few seconds passed before Mickey was standing in his doorway. His boyfriend's mouth was full and he was holding the box of chocolate covered cherries. “Jesus Mick how many did you eat?”

Mickey continued to savor his mouthful of goodness and held up 4 fingers. 

He shook his head with amusement and leaned back on his bed, pulling out his phone. He wondered if Mickey had a facebook? Mandy did so did all his other friends. He turned to see Mickey peeling off his jeans, his shirt already on the floor. He waited until the older boy was lying next to him, mouth free of sweets.  
“Do you have a facebook Mick?”

He shrugged his shoulder “Yea..everyone does. Why?”

He frowned. Now he really wanted one. “Fiona wont let me get one, says I’m too young.”

“She’s right, it’s just a bunch of fuckin drama and hookups. You don’t need that stupid shit.”

“That’s not true Mandy says..”

“Seriously Ian. You already can text everyone you need to talk to” he reached for another candy then brought it to his boyfriends lips. “Plus I’m right here so you don’t fuckin need it for nothin else” he said softly pushing the chocolate into his boyfriend's mouth, Ian’s lips brushing against his fingertips. Ian chewed the candy their eyes fixed on each other. This was it. He saw Ian swallow and leaned over pressing a deep kiss into his lips, the taste of cherry chocolate was lingering between them. “Mm so fuckin sweet baby” he sighed into the kiss then slowly climbed up on his boyfriend straddling him. He lifted his head and stared down at the redheaded boy beneath him. “You’re fuckin perfect Gallagher” he praised then leaned down trailing his lips over his boyfriends collar bone leading up to his ear. He could feel his boyfriends heart beating fast and took a deep breath before tugging at his ear with his teeth. “I love you” he whispered, feeling a bubble grow in the pit of his stomach. It was out and there was no taking it back now. He lifted his head and stared at Ian. Nothing. “Fuck” he sat up and thumbed his nose. “Will you at least say somethin man.”

He was dreaming right? This whole day was a dream? Mickey Milkovich. Mickey loved him? He wanted to be together forever and loved him? He sat up on his elbows and looked at his anxious boyfriend. Mickey’s blue eyes were laced with insecurity but he didn’t know why. “I love you too Mick” he replied then leaned back down. He reached out at pulled Mickey down so they were face to face. “I love you too.” Mickey’s eyes sparkled like he’d never seen and he closed the distance between them wrapping his arms around his neck. Their tongues swirled with one another, needy and wanting. Mickey’s hand ran down his side tenderly until it reached his boxers and slipped inside. “Mmm” he groaned at his boyfriends touch as Mickey moved his hand up and down stroking his dick. He opened his legs further allowing his boyfriend to nestle between them. 

He stared into emerald eyes then he lowered his head to Ian’s chest sucking freckled skin between his teeth as his tongue traced small designs. He was about to pull down Ian’s boxers when he was pushed backwards. “The fuck Ian?”

“What? I can’t do it too?” He climbed on top of his flustered boyfriend then leaned down to kiss his plump lips. “Maybe I want to for once.”

“Ian you can’t” he panted. He knew he had literally no self control and he didn’t want to be in that position again. He reached up to push his boyfriend back down but Ian stopped him. 

“No Mickey, let me do it!” he huffed and furrowed his brow pouting his lip. Mickey looked at him and rubbed his nose, his eyes looked nervous.

“Fine” he conceded. He could do it, he had too. He watched, eyes glued to his boyfriends as Ian crawled down his body. A velvet tongue licked down his stomach causing his skin to flood with goosebumps. Fuck this was a bad idea. “Ian..”

“Shhh” he replied hooking his fingers in his boyfriends boxers pulling them down. Mickey’s dick sprang forward hard and waiting. He parted his lips over the soft head licking across the slit.

“Fuck Ian” he gasped. It had been too long since he felt the sweet sensation of his boyfriend’s mouth. Ian closed his lips around him and bobbed his head. His tiny pink lips sliding down his shaft perfectly. His mouth was so warm and wet and fuck just felt amazing. Ian watched him as he licked from the base to the tip in one fluid motion then sucked his tip back into his mouth seductively.  
“Jesus fuck Ian. You’re to fuckin sexy. Fuck” he threw his head back .“Mm so fuckin good. Wanna fuck you” he groaned. Fuck. He sat up quickly. “I mean your mouth..wanna fuck your mouth.” Ian hummed around him giving him permission. He knew his boyfriend couldn’t really handle that he just wanted to make him happy so instead he reached out and ran his hand through red hair lovingly and pushed down. Ian pulled off his dick and locked eyes with him. The next thing he knew his boyfriend was on top of him, lips were pressed deeply into his.

He wanted Mickey. He didn’t think he would ever want like that.. but for some reason in this moment he did. He didn’t know what to do and he wasn’t going to say anything. He wanted to just see what would happen. He grabbed Mickey’s shoulders and rubbed up against him breathing heavily in his ear. “Mm Mickey. You’re sexy too. It’s crazy how hot you are, like fire.” He lifted his head and his boyfriend was grinning at him. “Shut up” he laughed. Not his fault he didn’t know how to talk dirty.

Ian was killing him right now. He could do it though he just wanted to be on top that’s all. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist and rolled over so he was looking down at him. “You’re a fuckin dork Gallagher.”

“Your point?”

“C’mere.” Ian leaned up and kissed him. He moved his hand down between his boyfriends legs grabbing his dick then his fingers made their way over soft skin and slipped between supple cheeks. “Want me to fuck you?” he whispered as he grazed a fingertip over his tight hole. 

“Yes” he sighed into his boyfriend's mouth before closing his lips around him.

He clumsily reached over to the side of the bed where Ian kept his lube and pulled up the bottle. His sat up and squeezed a generous amount on his finger then set it behind him leaning back down. “You sure?” Ian nodded his head so he leaned down and nuzzled his neck pulling his skin between his teeth as he rubbed a lubed finger over his boyfriends tight hole. Carefully he pushed in and Ian gasped in his ear. “So fuckin sexy” he groaned as he started to swirl his finger. 

“Mm Mickey” he moaned craning his neck allowing his boyfriend to suck at his skin. 

He pressed another finger against his boyfriends entrance and pushed in allowing it to sink in next to the other. He began to move them back and forth causing his boyfriend to grip the sheets in tight fists. “You like that?” he purred nipping at Ian’s ear. Fuck he sounded so hot. He wanted to fuck him so fuckin bad it was painful. He lined up another finger and lifted his head slowly glancing at his boyfriend.

“Mm do it” he groaned. Mickey pressed a third finger inside of him and he arched his back. Fuck it felt so good. “Uh..huh..mm fuck” he started pushing down against his boyfriends fingers trying to get more, get them deeper. “Yes uhuh..” Mickey lifted his head and he took the chance to wrap his arms around his boyfriends neck and attack his lips. Mickey started to move his fingers back and forth massaging his spot but he wanted more, needed to feel more. He slid his hands between Mickey’s legs and grabbed his dick massaging it with his hand. “Please Mickey” he whimpered as the overwhelming need for more took over.

He looked into pleading green eyes. He was 99% positive of what Ian was asking for but that 1% still freaked him out. He would take it slow, make sure this time. “What do you want baby?” he cocked his brow looking down at his boyfriend. Ian shied away from his gaze but rolled his hips against his fingers. God damn that was hot. He needed to hear it though. “Want me to fuck you?” He nervously reached down and wrapped his hand around Ian’s holding his dick. “This what you want?”

Ian eyes slowly traveled up his boyfriends body meeting with his eyes for just a moment before glancing back down at the floor. He sucked in his lip and nodded his head “yea” he spoke softly feeling his face flush and his eyes water. He was nervous and scared but he wanted to do it again.

This kid was going to kill him. On his grave the cause of death would read Ian Gallagher. He could feel how nervous Ian was wanting it. He didn’t blame him but this time would be different. “Hey look at me baby he grabbed his boyfriends head and turned it so he was looking into his eyes. “I’m not gonna hurt you ok.”

“I..I know” Ian stammered feeling upset he was getting all emotional. 

He wiped away a tear with his thumb then cupped Ian’s face in his hand before sucking his pouting bottom lip into is mouth. “I love you” he said just before Ian’s tongue intertwined with his own. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube and coated his himself then lined up at his boyfriends entrance. He could feel Ian tense up at his touch so he pulled back and looked into his eyes. “You have to trust me if you wanna do this” he said gently. He felt Ian’s body relax so he dipped his head down next to his ear. He knew how much his boyfriend liked praise. He didn’t get it from anyone else really but he was ok with that. More room for him. “You’re hot a hell baby” he purred in Ian’s ear as he started to press in. “Fuuck” he sighed feeling small muscles constrict around him pulling him in deeper. “You feel so fuckin good Ian. So good. Perfect ass ”

Ian held his arms tightly around Mickey’s neck and squeezed his eyes shut. “Miiickey” he whined. His boyfriend stopped and looked at him with concern. “Don’t stop just do it, please”

“You sure?”

“Yes fuck” he huffed just wanting this part to be done with. Mickey took a deep breath next to his ear then suddenly he was pushing into him all at once. “Huh” he gasped at the sudden feeling of fullness. Mickey looked down at him and raised his brow. He swallowed thickly and nodded his head. 

He started rolling his hips slowly letting his boyfriend adjust. Ian dropped his arms and grabbed the sheets. “Hmm so tight Ian so..fuck” he mumbled tilting his head back taking in the perfection of this moment. He looked back down again. Ian was biting his lip and squeezing the blanket as he fucked him, holy fuck he couldn’t picture anything hotter than this. He snapped his hips once to test the waters. Ian groaned and his mouth hung open. Fuckin mouth. He leaned down and captured that perfect little mouth in a passionate kiss as he increased his pace. 

“Hmm Mickey” he rolled his eyes and moved his hands to his boyfriend's waist. He pulled away from the kiss and took in the sight above him. Mickey was amazing. His blue eyes and jet black hair. His thick body and strong arms. “Huh yes..fuck uh” he liked this. Mickey was right again but he wanted to figure it out on his own. His boyfriend was fucking him hard but still being so attentive. Suddenly he felt a rush of energy course through his body that made him shiver. “Mm Mickey there” he panted and started rolling his hips.

“Fuck Ian” he groaned as he snapped his hips. He wasn’t going to last long the way Ian was moaning beneath him. He reached down and grabbed his boyfriends dick and started pumping it, rubbing his thumb over the tip.

“Mickey uh..hmm” he slid his hands up his boyfriend's back then brought them around to hold onto his boyfriends shoulders. 

“You close baby? Fuck I can’t huh..” he felt a wave of electricity flow through his body and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth scraping it against his teeth “Hmm” he groaned as he came inside his boyfriends tight heat. He continued to thrust through his orgasm. The feeling was so intense, nothing like anything he’d ever felt before.

Ian felt lightheaded and a warm feeling took over his body “huuh mm” he squeezed Mickey’s shoulders tight, digging in his fingers as he shot little spurts of hot cum on his stomach. “Holy shit Mick” he sighed and flung himself back on to his pillow, not caring about the mess they had made.

He fell down beside his boyfriend and ran his fingers down Ians skin, his chest was sweaty which made him smile. He lifted his hand and brushed the hair from his boyfriends eyes. “That was somethin else man” he rolled over on his back and reached over grabbing Ian’s hand. “We should probably take a shower, get cleaned up then order some fuckin food. I’m starvin after that workout.”

Ian grinned and leaned over so he was staring into Mickey’s blue eyes. “So that’s it.really? You tired already old man” he smirked. Mickey’s eyes lit up.

“What you tryin to say Gallagher?”

“Nothing” he glanced away and pursed his lips then looked back at his boyfriend. “Just thought you’d wanna do it again but it’s ok. We can eat.” Mickey stared silently at him then the the next thing he knew he was on his back with his hands above his head as his boyfriend kissed down his neck.

“I’m only hungry for one fuckin thing ” he growled in his boyfriends ear. Ian was fuckin amazing, he would touch and squeeze and fuck his body as long as he could. After tonight he really hoped it would be forever. Fuck.. maybe he was a sap but fuck it right. He was in love.


	9. Crybaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey turns 16 and Ian doesn't get along well with his new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this chapter. The lovely Jessica92 helped with the teasing xox.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, finishing up ch10. Should have up tommarow xo

“How often do you come out here” Ian walked carefully around the broken pieces of concrete following his boyfriend.

He shrugged his shoulder and leaned against the abandoned building “Whenever I can I guess. My brothers used to take me here when i was younger” he lit up his joint and watched as his boyfriend took in his surroundings. “Used to go up there and watch them shoot cans and bottles.” He took a deep drag thinking back to that time, both good and bad memories. He blew out a pillowy cloud of smoke and tilted his head. Ian was staring crouched down on the ground grabbing something. “Whatchya doin man?”

He stood up and walked over to where Mickey was smoking and opened his hand to reveal several bullet casings. “Think these are from your brothers?”

“Who fuckin cares. That was a long time ago. Pretty sure some other assholes have shot up shit out here.”

“Well it would be cool if it was” he replied then turned back around to continue to explore.

“You ever wonder what this shit looked like back in the day? You know before its rotted to pieces?” He ran his hand over the crumbling wall feeling the grooves beneath his fingertips. “Bet it was chill as fuck. Probably like a hideout for gangsters or somethin.”

Ian turned his head “Gangsters really?”

“Who the fuck knows this is Chicago man. Fuckin Al Capone coulda done business here.” He held out the joint to his boyfriend. Ian walked over and leaned next to him grabbing it from his fingers. “Just try and picture it” he said waving his hand in front of them across the sea of worn down structuress. “Probably some fancy ass hotels or like luxury apartments. That over there” he pointed to a completely collapsed building across the way “That could have been a Casino where they cut off people toes in the basement.”

He tried to picture it but he was drawing a blank. “I’ve never really seen any Gangster movies. Fiona doesn’t watch that kind of stuff”

His eyes widened and he snatched the joint from his boyfriends fingers. “You shittin me? The Godfather? Goodfellas?” Ian stared at him blankly.  
“Babe come on for real?” he shook his head ann took a few puffs “ I mean You live in Chicago for fucks sake. That’s it come on.” He grabbed Ian’s hand and stared across the yard.

He ‘move causing Mickey to stop but not let go of his hand.“Wait where are we going?” he whined not wanting to leave. He was having fun and he wanted to look at some other buildings. “I wanted to look upstairs.”

“Nope not till you can appreciate it. You and me are goin back to my place and we’re gonna have a fuckin mobster movie marathon.” He pulled on Ian’s hand “let’s go”

****

March 13th, Mickey’s birthday. His boyfriend turned 16 today and he was helping his sister bake his cake. H picked out the flavor. It was german chocolate with a coconut pecan frosting. Soo good.

“Ian stop eatin it or there won’t be any for the cake!”

‘What?” He smiled licking the frosting from his finger. “There’s plenty look” he turned to container to his sister so she could see. She rolled his eyes at him and grabbed the piping bag.  
“Here fill it up and you can do the border” she said handing her little brother the bag. She grabbed the cake from the fridge and set it on the counter. The party was in 30 minutes so they had enough time. “Ready?” She looked over at her brother who had frosting on his face but the piping bag was full. She smiled then waved him over.

His sister showed him how to do the border. At first it just came out a blob but he was able to get the hang of it. 2o minutes later the cake was decorated and ready for transport. He grabbed Mickey’s gift and followed his sister out the door.

***

When his brothers told him to invite people to his party he didn’t think anyone would show up. He hung out with a few people at school around the smoke pit but they didn’t seem like the kinda people who would come to a birthday party. Shit he wouldn’t even want one but his brothers made him. Birthdays were fuckin stupid. It was almost time for cake and ice cream then presents. Right now he was on his porch smoking a cigarette and sipping his 2nd beer bullshitting with his friends. Guess he did have some. Aaron and Brad. They were cool enough. Aaron was typical punk white boy. Band t-shirt, blonde fohawk and a gauges in his ears. He personally thought it was disgusting but Aaron made it work. Brad was the exact opposite, fucker was northside but down as fuck. Weirdly he liked him the best of the two despite the fact his clothes were Abercrombie and Fitch. He still had little moments where he wanted to punch him but they were short lived. They were talking about this new horror movie that was coming out. He really wanted to fuckin go and it would be cool to have like a guys nice.

“I don’t think he’s a demon seems more like the fuckin boogie man” he said taking a drag of his smoke.

“How does he possess the kids though, only demons do that shit?” Aaron cocked his brow waiting for him to answer.

“I don’t fuckin know man i didn’t write the shit. We should just go see it.”

“See what?” Ian looked walked up the stairs with his sister. They had been playing in the backyard.

“Nothin” he said quickly before taking a swig of his beer. He knew full well Ian wouldn’t be able to go so why bother. Ian furrowed his brow then looked at his friends. “Need somethin else or can we finish our conversation?” he said harshly. Ian continued to stare at him so he took a drag of his cigarette and blew it in his face making his friends laugh “That means fuck off. Go play or somethin” he waved his hand dismissively. 

Ian narrowed his eyes and turned to his friend. “Come on Mandy lets go inside” He pushed passed his boyfriend hearing the stupid jerks laughing behind him. What was Mickey’s problem, asshole.

***

The cake was bomb. Apparently Fiona baked it and Ian decorated it. He wanted to wrap him up in a giant hug and kiss his grumpy face but instead he continued to ignore him. How was he gonna explain boyfriend shit aside, his friends thought he was cool so why would he be like ‘this is my 12 yr old best friend’ there was nothing cool about that. In fact saying it out loud sounded really fuckin lame. 

Once it was time for presents the adults were a few drinks deep;. This was the Southside and a parties a party, any excuse to drink. He sat there opening his gifts thanking everyone. He got a lot of things for art class from his brothers which was cool. His friends pitched and got him a gift card to Hot Topic no doubt Aaron chose the fuckin store. He was teasing his friends because no fuckin way would he shop there when his boyfriend approached him with a box the size of a large book wrapped in shiny red paper.

“I thought since you like to build things” he said with a half smile because Mickey’s friends were staring at him weird. “I..i was hoping maybe..” 

He tore open the wrapping paper and didn’t even get it completely undone. “A puzzle?” 

“A fuckin puzzle really!” Aaron laughed. “Nobody does puzzles anymore. Only babies and losers” 

He rolled his eyes at Mickey’s friend then turned back to his boyfriend. “It’s not for babies. It’s cool look at it. I picked out a hard one cause I thought you’d like it.” 

“Aaron’s right Gallagher. Nobody does fuckin puzzles anymore…” he set his gift to the side. 

“Yea cause they’re fuckin lame! It makes sense though lame gift from a lame kid” Brad teased elbowing Aaron. 

“He’s not lame” Mandy snapped walking over to her friend. “He’s my best friend and you better be nice to him or I’m gonna tell.”

“Damn Ian too much of a bitch to stand up for yourself gotta have a girl do it for you” Brad said.

“Pretty sad actually” Aaron said clicking his tongue. 

He looked at Mickey to say something but he only looked at him like a stranger. He felt his eyes water “I..I'm not a bitch. You guys are just jerks” he sniffled.

“You’re fuckin cryin like one” Brad said crossing his arms.

“Crybaby bitch” Aaron said laughing. He looked over at Mickey. “Right Mick?” 

“Uh right” his friend smiled at him and looked back at Ian. 

“you know what fuck all you guys” he shouted as more tears slid down his face. “You're just…” he was so flustered by Mickey's reaction or lack thereof he could speak. “You're all stupid” he turned and ran down the hall the bathroom. He felt like such a baby. They were all just mean for no reason. Mickey was acting like he didn’t even know him, like they weren’t even friends. He was treating him like some stupid kid. Even before they got together he was always nice to him so what the hell? He wiped of his face and stepped back out. He could hear Mickey laughing on the porch. Jerk. He walked over to the couch and pulled out his phone. The adults were outside and Mandy went to her room so it was just him a few random people who were keeping to themselves.

He sat there playing Bubble Quest on his phone and watching YouTube. He tried to block everybody out for the next few hours. He would see Mickey come and go. He walked past him multiple times but acted like he was invisible. Everyone else acted like that, like was a chore or a tag along. Mickey was the one who didn't, he was the one who made him feel worth something so why would he do this? He noticed Mickey come inside again but time he walked to his room. His stupid friends followed behind and sat down at the kitchen table. He was over this. He stood up from the couch and walked past thing 1 and thing 2 down the hallway to his boyfriend's room. Mickey was closing the door and had a joint tucked behind his ear. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

He rolled his eyes because he didn’t want to hear whatever Ian had to say. He knew he was bein a dick but he had a reason. Not his fault kid couldn’t take a hint. He didn’t make him keep coming up to him, you would think after one time he would fuckin get the hint. “What man?” he sighed and raised a brow. Ian pushed past him into his room grabbing his shirt. Fuck. He turned around and followed his boyfriend shutting the door. “ this better be good Gallagher, my friends are out there waitin for me.”

“What about meee Mickey? You’ve been ignoring me all day” he sat down on the bed and fiddled with his hands. “What did I do?”

“Nothin. I told you my friends are here” he replied scratching the back of his neck nervously. “What do want from me? You know I can’t..”

“Don’t say it” he shouted. “I know ok. You tell me all the time but that doesn’t mean you have to be…you don’t have to be a douche. You can at least be nice I’m your fucking boyfriend.”

“Fuck Ian. Lower your voice. People in China didn’t fuckin hear you” he snapped and walked over to where his boyfriend was sitting. 

“No!” he cried defiantly as he jumped up from the bed. “You can’t do that. You can’t act like you don't know me Mickey it’s not fair. You can’t just ignore me!”

“Shut up Ian fuck!” he pushed his boyfriend on the bed and climbed on top of him. He grabbed his hands holding them above his head and looked down in his eyes.

“You know I love you”

“You don’t or you wouldn’t have said that stuff. I’m not just a stupid kid you can pick on with your friends” he said softly slowly losing his will to stay composed. “I’m not a loser Mickey”

“Come the fuck on baby” he leaned down and kissed Ian’s neck “ I was just fuckin around with my friends. You know that’s not how I really feel. Besides who cares what anyone else knows? We know the truth. All that matters right?”

“NO!” he jerked away “That’s not fair, it’s fucking stupid Mickey!”

“What?” he scoffed. “You need me to constantly be around you. Need me to tell you how perfect you are 24 fuckin 7.” He sat up and let go of his boyfriend's hands “ Get a life kid, my world don't revolve around you. Sooner you learn that the better.” He regretted the words the minute he said them. 

He lowered his eyes. He wasn’t gonna cry, not again. He didn’t need to give Mickey or his friends another reason to tease him. “Get off me” he snapped kicking his legs. Mickey quickly climbed off of him so he could stand up. He turned to his boyfriend  
“You know what Mickey, you’re a bully. You and your friends. This was your stupid idea not mine. You started it!” he shouted then threw open the door.

“Don't..” he jumped off his bed and ran down the hallway his friends were sitting at the table playing on their phones. “Where'd the kid go?”

“The crybaby” Brad laughed and pointed to the door.

He fought the urge to knock his friends teeth it. It wasn’t funny anymore. “You guys should get outta here. Parties over” he said lowly.

“What why?” Aaron turned to look at him “all the kids are gone and the adults are drunk time to hit up the liquor cabinet.

“No Jesus. Just get the fuck out alright. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Whatever bro” Brad replied giving him a fist bump. He watched as his friends left out the door then after a few minutes headed down the street to find his boyfriend. 

****

He was about to walk in the front door when he heard music coming from the backyard. He followed the music which led him to his hideout. Of fuckin course. He walked over and pulled open the cellar door. “Ian?”

“Go away!”

He thumbed at his nose then started down the stairs. No sooner did he make his way down Ian rushed past him running into the yard. “Fuck man. Just talk to me” he huffed climbing back up and shutting the door. He searched the yard and saw a small silhouette under the tree by the van. He walked over and Ian went to move. “Stop runnin from me man”

Ian looked over his shoulder at his boyfriend and crossed his arms. “I don’t want to talk to you Mickey just go away.”

“Too fuckin bad cause I want to talk to you. I didn’t mean that shit. I’m..”

He shook his head “Whatever”

He scoffed at his boyfriends passiveness “Whatever? The fuck does that even mean?’

“It means whatever. You’re never gonna tell anyone or let me so whatever.”

Not this again. “Ian seriously. Why do you care if people know?”

He kicked at the grass with his shoe then turned to his boyfriend “Why do you?”

He walked over to Ian and leaned on the van next to him before pulling out a cigarette. “It’s complicated. I told you just trust me. If people find out then we cant be together.” He took a drag then turned to big green eyes. Why do you keep trying to break us up man? Why is this concept so fuckin hard for you?”

“I’m not Mickey. You’re just scared” he reached out and grabbed his boyfriends hand. “We can do it together. I promise nobody will be mad. My family loves you. Pleease Mickey.” 

He yanked on Ian’s hand pulling him close and tossed his cigarette on the ground. “You fuckin serious Ian.” he said looking down at his boyfriend as he wrapped his arms around him.. Kid was getting reckless. First the party now this. He was gonna fuck it all up and he couldn’t have that, he couldn’t lose him. He needed to remind him. “I love you. I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You won’t Mick” he replied resting his head on his boyfriend's chest. “It will be ok. We just..”

He released his grasp and pushed the younger boy away “ maybe I was wrong. You are a fuckin kid. Clearly you’re not mature enough to be in an adult relationship. You don’t trust me, just wanna fuck shit up. You..”

“Stop’ Ian said putting his hand up to pause his boyfriend.

Mickey swatted it away “No i’m serious. You wanna run and tell everyone after I told you what would happen then fine. Might as well fuckin break up with you now.” He stared at his boyfriend and watched as his face fell and eyes lowered to the ground. He didn’t like seeing Ian cry, hurt or sad but he liked the fact that he control over it most the time. He tried to be a good boyfriend he really did. If Ian would just listen to him and do what he says then he wouldn’t have to do this.

He wiped his face with the back of his hand and looked up at the older boy. “Do it then” he said softly.

Wait what? He was not expecting that. That was not part of the plan. “I will if you wanna go tell. You’re gonna ruin it for both of us.”

Ian shrugged his shoulder “DO IT then!” he shouted “You always fucking say that whenever i wanna tell someone so fine break up with me.”

He stood there speechless. What the fuck just happened? This is the exact opposite of how this shit was supposed to go. “Ian..”

“No, not gonna do it? Then just leave me alone!” he cried and ran up the stairs slamming the backdoor closed and locking it behind him.


	10. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is ignoring Mickey. He's been ignoring him for sometime now and Mickey is losing his mind and his patience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters until the first age jump #SoExcited! I hope you guys enjoy xoxo
> 
> This song is very relevant to the chapter so i recommend listening. Thank you to my bestie Jessica92 for betaing & recommending this song to express Mickey's mindset. xo

Ian sat on the couch quietly lost in his game of Mario Kart. His sister was running around the house gathering up things for her weekend at Mike's. Debbie and Carl were sitting in the playpen dressed watching her flutter about. He was not looking forward to this weekend. He hadn’t talked to Mickey since the party, he didn’t know what to think anymore. MIckey said he loved him, told him they would be together forever but did he really mean it? How could he when he was always threatening to break up with him? Were they broken up? Mickey hadn’t texted him and he wasn’t gonna apologize he did nothing wrong, Mickey was just a dick. That was the bottom line, he didn’t even know about any of this stupid boyfriend stuff until the older boy came along. Everything was new to him and he wanted to trust Mickey but everytime he did he ended up hurting him. He sighed and set down his controller picking up his phone. It was 6:25pm Mickey would be here any minute because Mike was pulling up now. He reached for his controller and unpaused his game letting the quick turns and sudden jumps cloud his mind. He must have completely space out because the next thing he knew Fiona was touching his shoulder. He looked up forgetting to pause his game and crashed. Fuck.

“What?” he snapped with a turn of his head. He quickly realized he was out of line when his sister cocked her brow. “Sorry Fi, what’s up?” 

“Mickey’s here” she pointed to the older boy who was sitting in the kitchen eyes glued to his phone. “We’re off, should be back Sunday night maybe earlier if we don’t go to Mike’s parents for dinner.” She studied her brothers face and it was evident he was upset about something. He hated Mikes house, always complained but maybe that changed. “It’s not to late for you to join us Sweetface. I know everyone would be happy to see you.”

“I’ll pass” he mumbled turning back around sinking down into the couch. “Bye” he said with a wave of his hand avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room. His sister squeezed his shoulder then he heard the door close. Within seconds Mickey was heading towards him. Great, just fucking great. He held his controller firmly and restarted the game.

“Mind if I play? Need to brush up my racin skills” he said with a small laugh. Ugh he sounded so stupid but he didn’t know what to say. From the moment Ian left him standing there he became tongue tied. He was not goin to apologize because Ian knew how he felt from day 1. He made it fuckin clear numerous times. Whatever he didn’t care he just wanted to move on and forget about the whole thing. He stood up from the couch and walked over to the movie shelf grabbing a second controller. He turned to sit back down only to see Ian was gone. What the fuck man, this shit was fuckin stupid. He rolled his eyes and set the controller on the table before running up the stairs. Sure as shit his boyfriends door was closed. He went to turn the knob but it was locked. Should have expected that. He rubbed his nose with his knuckle and leaned his cheek against the cool wood. “Ian c’mon, open the door.”

“Go away!” he shouted turning to face the wall.

Mickey licked his lips and brought his hand to his forehead, rubbing at his brow in frustration. “Baby please open the door. Let’s just start over, this shit is stupid man.”

“Leave me alone Mickey. I don’t want to talk to you.” He turned to the door and tossed his pillow at it. “You’re a dick!”

Kid was right there. He’d been called a dick, a jerk and everything between. What did he want from him? He said he was sorry for the party already. What more did he fuckin need? He knocked his forehead against the door and closed his eyes. He felt like such a whiny bitch right now. He never saw himself beggin someone to talk to him but here he was doin just that. “What do you want from me Gallagher hm? Tell me please so we can fuckin move on from this stupid shit. Please.”

Ian felt his eyes water and wrapped his arms around Beary pulling him close and burying his face in his red fur. Beary Mcstuffins was all he needed right now. Mickey could fuck off until he apologized. He lied to him saying he wanted to be with him forever then acting like breaking up was no big deal, like he could just throw him away because he wanted to tell people. He was such an asshole!

One last time then he was over it. Kid wanted to sulk like a baby instead of being an adult and using his words, fuckin fine. “Ian. Come out. Talk to me...we can order pizza and..”

“Go the fuck away!” he sprang up from his bed and walked over to the door unlocking it to see Mickey’s sad blue eyes staring back at him. No..he’s a dick. “What part of go away do you not get. I don’t wanna talk to you. Go home! I don’t need you here. I can take care of my fucking self!” he went to slam his door but Mickey stepped in the way. He glared at the older boy because what the fuck.

“Just talk to me Gallagher. Tell me what you want.”

He rolled his eyes then sat down on his bed looking up at the older boy. “I want you to say sorry” he said quietly suddenly losing every ounce of confidence he had moments before.

Mickey leaned against the dresser and thumbed at his nose. “I already told you I was sorry, why I gotta say it again?”

Ian scoffed and looked up through his lashes “That’s not what I mean Mick and you know it. You said you were gonna break up with me and you can’t say that stuff.” He felt his eyes prickle and chanted to himself to keep it together. Dont cry.

He chewed on his bottom lip contemplating his response “Yea I know. I told you that before too. You can’t fuckin tell people ok. You just..”

“Get out of my room” he said softly trying to keep himself composed.

“No. We’re fuckin talkin about shit and..”

Ian stood up from his bed. “Fine! You won’t fucking leave me alone then stay here. I don’t care just stop talking to me.” He ran out of his room and down the stairs.

“Fuckin great” he shouted to the empty room kicking the frame of the bed. He took a deep breath and walked out of the door slamming it behind him. He walked down the stairs to see Ian sitting on the couch with his knees pulled under him and the controller back in his hand. He wanted to say something but knew better. Kid was out of his room so that was somethin. He would take it. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, popping the tab. He pulled a smoke from his pack and made his way to the table sitting down and propping his feet up on an empty chair. He sat there for about 20 minutes before the silence was too much to handle so he grabbed his headphones from his pocket, plugged them into his phone and shoved them in his ears. He put on Doubt by Twenty One Pilots and sank back in his chair. Fuck Ian. Stupid fuckin kid with his stupid freckled face sitting there lookin all fuckin cute. Kid didn’t have to do fuckin anything, he was literally staring at the TV clicking away at buttons on his stupid controller and he couldn’t keep his eyes of him. He took a long swig of his beer and a puff of his smoke before putting the song on repeat. FUCK EVERYTHING!

Ian glanced out of the corner of his eye at his boyfriend...were they still boyfriends? Yea they were, unlike Mickey he meant what he said. He loved his stupid boyfriend and wanted to be with him forever. He made him feel special and they could spend hours just talking or listening to music, it was perfect. He was a jerk though and he needed to say sorry. He didn’t feel bad Mickey was sulking in the kitchen, serves him right. He turned his full attention back to his game. He didn’t look at Mickey when he asked him to answer the door or when he tried to hand him his box of wings. He loved hot wings, Mickey knew this. He was trying to make up but it wasn’t gonna work. He ignored the older boy when he set his food and a soda down in front of him. The only thing he did that was even close to acknowledgement was grab his food and move to the chair when Mickey tried to sit by him. They ate their food in silence. He could feel Mickey staring at him and after about an hour he was losing his will not to get up and sit in his lap. He wanted so badly for him to hold him and kiss him, tell him things were ok and that he really did love him but until he apologized none of that mattered. He finished his food and stood up walking to the TV to turn off the game.

“What are you doin? You done already it’s only 8:30.”

He rolled his eyes and put up his controller before walking to the kitchen to throw away his trash. He grabbed handful of oreos from the box on the counter and another soda from the fridge before heading to go back upstairs. Fuck it. He turned around and grabbed the box, he was the only one who ate them anyway. He was gonna watch Youtube videos, eat cookies and try not to think about how much he wanted to not be doing it alone.

**

Mickey sat downstairs with his music full blast staring at the ceiling. Was Ian gonna ignore him all weekend? He wanted him to apologize but..he thought about it. He was 15 and a freshman in highschool about to be a sophomore. Ian was 12 and in 7th grade fuckin middle school. That already made him a little queasy, the fact that they got together when he was 11 made it worse. What the fuck was he thinking? He was in it now, he loved the kid, age gap or not but no fuckin way people would understand. Fiona? Yea right. She would flip shit and think she hired a fuckin pedophile to babysit her little brother. He’d be lucky with that, she could go as far as callin the police. Holy fuck the police..why did that never cross his mind? It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t choose to know about this shit. He didn’t always have a crush on Ian not really but one day he just noticed his smile more and his laugh made him feel warm inside. It wasn’t just about sex which is the only thing people will think. Yea he wasn’t gonna fuckin apologize, are you kidding? Ian needed to shut his mouth and learn to keep it shut or yea love or not they would have to break up. It’s not that he would really do it because he didn’t think he could but people would make them. Ugh he shivered and smacked his forehead. Fuckin idiot! This was all his fault Ian was right about that. Would he take it back…..no. He would do it again if he had a do over. That’s not the point though. The point is Ian knows he can get in trouble, he has made that abundantly clear but still, STILL he keeps trying to get him to tell people. He could fuckin be mad, ignore him whatever. Not his problem kid couldn’t get the picture. He closed his eyes and let the music clear his mind until he drifted to sleep.

********

I want you all to find something, anything over the weekend and sketch it. Don't look at the paper. The exercise is called blind contour. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes just envision the paper and I promise you will be surprised. 

Finally the bell rang. Mickey rolled his eyes and closed the cover on his sketchbook. Usually he loved art class but right now his teachers voice was grating on his brain like nails scraping a chalkboard as the need for nicotine made his skin crawl.

Fucking Gallagher.

Stupid kid was still, STILL fuckin ignoring him. Little fucker was giving him the silent treatment. Ian hadn’t broken up with him..he didn’t think… he wouldn’t just not tell him if he did. That made it so much fuckin worse though because now he was pining over his fuckin 12yr old boyfriend. It had been what...2 weeks now? No sex, no talking except the occasional hi and whatever forced fuckin conversation Fiona or Mandy were able to squeeze from them. Ian was ignoring his calls and his texts. Why did he even have a fuckin phone? He didn’t realize how much he needed the communication, how much Ian’s presence in his life impacted his day to day routine but fuck. Here he was in his favorite class ready to punch out his teacher and throw his sketchbook on the floor because a certain redhead was acting like he didn’t exist anymore. Ian was the only one who made him feel anything and with him giving the cold shoulder he was going crazy. He NEEDED him.

The week went on forever, it was hard for him to stay focused and not let his thoughts wander over to freckled skin and green eyes. Today was Friday which would normally be a relief but not recently. Friday meant babysitting. He babysat the rest of the week but only a few hours. The weekend he stayed over usually. Lucky for him Fiona only needed a sitter for tonight instead of the whole fuckin weekend.

He gathered up his things and made his way out of the classroom walking swiftly down the hall past the sea of unknown voices and fake smiles. The cool breeze against his face was welcoming as he walked out the school doors and over to the smoke pit. He could already see a few people gathered around puffing on their vape pens or blowing thick clouds of cigarette smoke. On rare occasion the smell of weed would linger amongst the other aromas, too bad today wasn’t one of them. He walked over to the chain link fence and pressed his back against it before pulling out his smokes, his lighter, and lastly his phone. School was almost over for him so Ian should be heading home by now. He got out an hour before him. He thought about texting him this morning, then again at lunch, but resisted the urge. He stared into the screen, scanning the number for a few moments before rolling his eyes and pocketing the phone once more. His smoke burned orange as he took in a deep drag and silently stared out across the parking lot.

Ian was bein a baby pure and simple. It was his fault for chosing to date the fuckin kid but what was he supposed to do? Love is love and all that stupid sappy shit. He sucked in his bottom lip and lightly nodded his head along with the voices in his mind as they scolded him. These were the voices that reminded him he was a terrible person and that what he was doing was wrong. The ones that told him he was tainted and didn’t deserve love, he didn’t deserve Ian. He was an asshole and Ian was pure and innocent. He tilted his head back against the cool metal of the fence as his eyes trailed lazily over the puffy clouds in the sky. He had to squint to make try and make out the shapes because of the brightness from the sun but he could still see what looked like a cat or maybe a horse. Who knows, who cares. He took one final drag then flicked the remaining cigarette to the asphalt. He rubbed his nose and told the voices to shut up as he slung his bag over his shoulder. He was about to start across the parking lot when he saw his friends making their way over to him.

Aaron pulled out a smoke as he approached and leaned on the fence next to him snagging his lighter from his hand. “Yo Mick. We still on for tonight?”

“Yup” he replied shortly. 

Brad furrowed his brow and walked around to his front arching his brow at him disapprovingly.

“The fuck are you lookin at?” he snapped. Fuckin idiots.

“You bro. Enough of this emo crap. What crawled up your ass and died?”

“Yea” Aaron added crossing his arms “You’ve been in a shitty mood since your fucking birthday dude. It’s annoying.”

“Well forgive the fuck outta me assholes, didn’t know I had to schedule my moods to fit your fuckin schedule.”

“See” Brad shook his head and looked over at his friend “What you got girl troubles or somethin?” 

He rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh. “Unbelievable” he muttered. Before he had a chance to reply any further Aaron slapped his friend in the shoulder.

“Oh yea..I mean guy problems?”

He raised his hand to his head, pressing his thumbs into his temples trying to sooth away the headache threatening to take over. “You really need to just stop talkin man.”

Aaron took a drag of his smoke then extended it to his friend. He turned to Mickey resting his elbow against the fence. “Guy problems then. Fuck him Mick. That’s not..I mean you probably do. I mean I don’t know what you do. It doesn’t matter really.”

Mickey stared with wide angry eyes at his blabbering friend. Aaron clearly knew he was fucking up but couldn’t seem to stop the shit from falling from his mouth “Are you seriously goin there right now?”

Aaron averted his eyes and quickly stopped talking. Brad walked over to him and passed back the now dwindling cigarette. “So wanna meet like 7:45 then we can grub and make the 9pm showing.”

He shrugged his shoulders because of fucking course. The universe was just giving him a big fuck you everywhere he turned. He had to fuckin babysit...wait. This was perfect. If he took Ian out with his friends he wouldn’t have to say sorry and Ian would just forgive him. Who knows maybe he could get a blowjob out of it if he played his cards right. No...fuck that noise.  
He was done tiptoeing. Ian was his boyfriend dammit, he was younger than him too so this little game he was playing was over. 

“Yea sounds good.” He pulled out his phone and sent a text with the address to Aaron. “That’s where I’ll be.” He put his phone away and snatched the smoke from his friends hands taking the final drag and tossing it behind him before he walked inside.

******

“No” Ian yelled at his sister. “I’m not doing it and you can’t make me. You’re not my fucking mother alright so stop acting like you are.”

Fiona took a deep breath trying her best to remain composed. She could tell her little brother was upset but he had been acting out all week. Usually he would throw a fit here and there but with her he behaved. Everyone always told her how much he misbehaved and how hard to handle he was but she knew it was because he wanted her. Until she found Mickey it was one sitter after another. “You can’t talk to me like that Ian. You’re goin and that’s the end of discussion.” Mike had invited her and the kids to spend the weekend with his family on the Yacht. 

“I’m NOT GOING!” He kicked the corner of the couch. “It’s stupid and boring Fiona. What am I even supposed to do on a stupid boat?”

“Maybe spend time with your family..”

“Ughhh” he wiped his hand across his forehead in frustration “They’re babies. I’m an adult.”

Fiona raised her brow and was about to tell her brother he was acting like a baby when the bell rang.

“Fucking great” he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

She looked over to her brother Lip who was shaking his head.

“Don’t look at me, told you already. You spoil him, no surprise he doesn’t respect you.”

“Shut up” she replied opening the door. Mickey was standing there staring at his phone with one headphone in. She left the door open and walked away from the oblivious teenager back over to her brother. “Sweetface, you’ll have fun I promise.”

He glanced over at Mickey who was still standing in the doorway not attempting to even look at him. God he was a douche! “You know what? You all suck. ALL of you” he shouted earning a slight tilt upwards from Mickey’s head. “Just let me live my life and...and fuck off!” he ran for the back door and slammed it behind him. He didn’t stop running until he was safely down the stairs and hidden behind the van. Why did his sister even want him to come? She was never there anyway. He saw Mickey more than he saw her so why was she pretending to care about him now?

“What was that all about?” Mickey hung up his jacket and casually pulled the headphone from his ear.

“Just Ian being a spoiled brat as usual” Lip replied.

Mickey nodded his head trying to appear impartial when he really wanted to punch Lip in the face. Guy was cool and all but he knew nothing about Ian, only what he saw on the rare occasions he was actually around. 

“I don’t know what to do with him” Fiona sighed as she walked over to Mickey with a beer. She pursed her lips in thought as she twisted of the top and brought the bottle to her lips. “This last week he’s just fighting me on everything.” She looked up at Mickey and had second thoughts about her date. “You know what Mickey, thank you for comin over but I think I’m gonna stay in tonight.”

“Really Fi? You’re gonna let him do this?”

“He’s upset Lip, what am I supposed to do?”

Mickey rubbed at his nose and leaned against the wall crossing his arms “You gonna tell me what’s goin on here?”

“Mike invited us to a family weekend on his Yacht” Fiona paused “His whole family is going to be there but Ian doesn’t want to go.”

“Isn’t Mike’s family old as fuck?”

She laughed “His parents are old yea but everyone else is like mid 20’s. He’s got one cousin who’s 45 but..”

“No wonder the kid doesn’t want to go. Shit sounds boring as fuck. Not like he can sip champagne and whatever bougie shit you guys have planned.”

“Well..” she looked over to her brother who shrugged his shoulders and took a drag from his cigarette. “What do you think I should do then hmm?”

“I mean if it was me i’d let him bring a friend” he replied reaching into his hoodie and pulling out his pack of smokes. He stuck one between his lips and lit it taking a long drag. “At least then they could be fuckin bored together.” Fiona’s eyes went round and lit up with excitement. “What? What I say?”

“That’s it Mickey thank you!”

“Wait what?”

“You should come with us. Oh Ian would love that!”

He licked his lips before taking another drag. Not how he saw himself spending the weekend but could be fun. Him, Ian, the lake. “I’m down. I’ma go tell Ian.”

Fiona let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you soo much MIckey. You can just consider it a full weekend then.” She reached into her purse and pulled out 75$.

“I said he needed to bring a friend, not a sitter” he replied snatching the money and shoving it in his pocket. “Not doin it for the money.” He took a final drag off his smoke and walked over to the table where Lip was sitting looking at him like he was trying to read him. “What are you starin at man?”

“Nothing just glad Ian has a friend. Kid can be a handful but now we get to share the burden.”

Wow. Burden? You fuckin serious right now? “Yea whatever you say” he scoffed and headed to the back door. He closed it softly behind him as not to spook his wayward boyfriend from whatever spot he was hiding.

He could faintly hear music coming from behind the van. It was that annoying music that played in the background of games, so he was not surprised when he walked around the bumper and saw the little redhead sitting on the ground with his eyes glued to a screen filled with bright colors.

“You alright man?”

Ian looked up to see Mickey staring down at him. Stupid jerk still hadn’t apologized. He was happy he wasn’t watching him all week because he didn’t want to see his stupid face. “No thanks to you” he responded shortly returning his focus back to the screen.

“Hmm.” he hummed then crossed his arms and leaned against the side panel “You still pissed off babe it’s been like 2 weeks.”

“Are you for reals Mickey” he jumped up from the ground. “Just..”

“What hmm?” he questioned pushing himself off the van and walking to his boyfriend. “Just what Ian? Leave you alone? Go away.” He walked closer to the younger boy until Ian’s back was against the van. “That really what you want?”

Ian averted his eyes then quickly looked back into the blue ones staring him down. “I don’t want to talk to you unless you say sorry. You can’t..”

“Stop” he raised his hand to silence his boyfriend. “I’m tired of this shit Gallagher. You breakin up with me?”

Ian’s eyes widened at the question because NO. “No I..”

“So then what? You like bein a fuckin baby, whining and moping all over the place cause that’s all you’re doin right now.” He tilted his head and pulled his lips to the side clicking his tongue. “It’s really kinda annoying to be honest.” Ian’s face fell at his words and he knew he had his in. The boys newfound look of defiance was replaced with a more familiar look of submission.

Keep going. 

“You ever stop and think how I feel?” He placed his hand against the van and leaned forward so their faces were inches from touching. “I miss you” he said softly raising his other hand to brush Ian’s hair from his face.

“Don’t” Ian pushed Mickey’s hand from his face. “If you miss me you would apologize. You would..”

“For fuck sake Gallagher” he snapped. “Get that stupid shit outta your head cause it aint fuckin happenin.”

“Stop it Mickey. You can’t yell at me cause I didn’t do anything you did” he shouted pushing the older boy away. “You said you were gonna break up with me..again! So say you’re sorry or I’m gonna go back inside.”

Mickey let out a small laugh and rolled his eyes as he approached his boyfriend again.. He was done with the silent treatment, done with the cold shoulder, and so fucking done with the lack of sex.  
“No” he said firmly.

“Fine then..”

“No!” He pushed Ian up against the van and held his arms. “You’re not gonna leave until this shit is done.”

“Mickey..”

“Why you gotta make this hard?” He pushed his body against Ian’s pressing his back into the van. “I just want to love you, why won’t you let me.” Ian’s eyes were moving between his own and the ground frantically as if he was searching for what to say. Poor kid was tongue tied. “Do you even want to be with me?”

He looked up and pouted his lip, he could feel his eyes start to water. He didn’t like this at all. Mickey was being really intense and he didn’t know how to handle it. “Yeeess” he whined breaking down. “I love you Mickey. I don’t get why it has to be a seeecret”

“It just does.”

“But”

“Shut up” he cautioned as he let go of Ian’s arms and slowly moved his hands down to cup Ian’s ass. “I don’t want to lose you” he nipped lightly at Ian’s ear. “I want to be with you forever baby, wanna” he reached down and curled his fingers under Ian’s pants. He could hear the younger boys breathing intensify and new it was working. Ian could play hard to get all he wanted but they both knew how this was gonna end. “Wanna touch you, and taste you” he purred before sucking soft skin into his mouth and inching his fingers underneath the cotton fabric of Ian’s boxers.

“Hmph” Ian groaned as he leaned his head back against the side of the van. “Mick you can’t just..”

“Can’t what Gallagher hmm? Do this?” He wrapped his fingers tightly around his boyfriends hard dick and started stroking him with intention. He lifted his head and stared hungrily into big green eyes. “You said you wanna be with me, you said you love me..”

“Mm y..yes” he stammered as skilled hands worked his shaft. “I do love you Mickey.”

“That’s right baby so then listen to me m..kay.” He rubbed a small circle over Ian’s tip with the pad of his fingers lazily “I know what’s best for us.” He dropped down to his knees and looked up at his boyfriend before parting his lips and taking him in.

“Shit” Ian gasped, before he could get used to the feeling Mickey lifted his head.

“Understand?”

“Uh huh..”

“Good. You gonna apologize for ignoring me for the last 2 fuckin weeks?”

“I..you” He was feeling caught off guard by the question. Really it had been 2 weeks? He didn’t think it would go on that long but Mickey was being a jerk wasn’t he? He looked down at his boyfriend. “No i’m”

“Wait” he raised his brow. “So you’re not sorry for ignorin me?” He sucked his bottom lip through his teeth. “You’re not fuckin sorry for actin like I don’t exist?”

“Mickey I do”

“No Ian. That’s bullshit” he huffed letting go of his boyfriends dick and sitting back on his knees. “What makes you think that shit’s ok? 2 weeks of not knowin what the fuck you’re thinkin, if you even love me anymore.”

Wow. Mickey was right. That was pretty mean, he didn’t have to ignore him..he would have apologized eventually right. He always did for the most part. “I’m sorry Mick” he said softly.

“What’s that mumbles?”

“I..I’m sorry ok. Don’t be mad at me please.” He reached out and touched his boyfriends shoulder.

There it is. His lips turned up into a satisfied smile as he stood up from the ground.“I couldn’t stay mad at you if I tried freckles” He brushed his lips against Ian’s softly before sucking his top lip between his teeth. Ian wrapped his arms around him pulling him deeper into the kiss.

“Mm.. fuck you’re sexy” he groaned as his hands pushed Ian’s pants down so that the rest on his knees. “Sexy, soft..fuckin perfect” 

Ian took in the words like a sponge eagerly soaking up as much praise and affection as he could. It wasn’t until Mickey was actually touching him that he realized he was craving the older boy. All of him.

Ian was kissing him frantically, almost like he feared he wouldn’t get another chance. He undid his own jeans pulling them down then looked deep into big green eyes. “Turn around” he demanded his voice barely above a whisper.

Without hesitation Ian turned around and he felt his boyfriend spread open his cheeks. “What if people see?” 

“don’t worry bout that.” He was certain nobody cared they were outside. He expected to see a leprechaun over Lip or Fiona coming out to look for them. He lifted his finger to Ian’s mouth and stared expectantly.

“What?”

“You got lube?”

Ian shook his head because why would he. “No”

Mickey raised a brow and his eyes went wide “then..” he ran his finger over Ian’s bottom lip “open up.” Ian slowly opened his mouth taking his finger into it.  
“Shit” he gasped as the boys wet tongue moved around his finger. He missed that mouth. “Mm” he purred “Gonna fuck you so good.” He pulled his finger past small pink lips and lowered his hand spreading Ian’s cheeks apart even more apart before pressing his saliva coated finger against his tight entrance and pushing in.

“Ah” Ian winced and goosebumps spread down his arms.

“Relax, you know it gets better. Just been too long.” He pressed in further as he leaned over the younger boy. “Too fuckin long” he groaned nipping at freckled skin causing Ian to unclench his body and his finger to slide into home. “Jesus Ian. So fuckin tight.” he swirled his finger around causing his boyfriend to gasp.

“You missed that didn’t you?”

“Mmhmm” he mewled lost to Mickey’s touch. “Missed you”

“Not gonna do this again are you?”

“I uh..I already s..said”

He turned his hand and started rubbing back and forth “Say it again.”

“N..no ok. I’m s..sorry” he put his hands up against the van to steady himself and his knees suddenly felt like noodles. “Pleease” he whispered against the cool metal.

He pulled out his fingers and reached down for his dick clumsily pushing it between the supple globes of his boyfriends ass. He felt the tip sink in and almost lost it right there. “Hoooly fuuck” He grabbed Ian’s shoulder with one hand then braced himself against the van with the other before thrusting into tight heat for the first time in what seemed like eternity.

“Uh M..mickey”

Fuck... that sound. His name coming from baby soft lips, from his perfect boyfriends mouth. He lived for that sound. He started to move faster pressing Ian against the van and himself against Ian. His head rest in the comfortable crevice of Ian’s shoulder where he could lick and suck as he fucked into his perfect hole. “Mm love you baby. Fuckin love you so much” he panted feeling his body tingle. It had been so long he wasn’t surprised but still slightly disappointed. He reached down and grasped Ian’s dick .  
“Mickey..m..mickey” he chanted with his eyes squeezed shut as everything seemed to come to a stop. He felt a warmth rush through his body.

Ian clenching around him was all it took. He came hard filling up his boyfriend causing the younger boy to let out a delicious groan and cum all over his hand. He pulled out and abruptly flipped the younger boy around. “I really did miss you” he said as he tried to catch his breath. He pressed a sweaty kiss on Ian’s forehead then reached down to pull up his pants. He pulled out his phone, it was 7. Fiona should be leaving any minute. “We better go inside.”

“Fuck that” he scoffed as he buttoned his jeans. “I don’t wanna see Fiona or her stupid boyfriend.”

MIckey grabbed his boyfriend and draped his arm over his shoulder. “You need to knock that shit off” he said firmly. Ian looked at him with a furrowed brow. “Look Freckles. Give your sister a break alright. At least she tries.”

Ian pulled away. “She tries? She has to make time for me cause she spends it all with him. How is that my fault?

He pulled Ian back into him and grabbed his chin so he was looking in his eyes. “It’s not. It’s their loss Gallagher m..kay. You’re perfect, remember that.”

Ian blushed at his boyfriends words. Mickey really could be so sweet sometimes. “I don’t wanna go Mick. His family is so ugh. All they do is drink wine and eat weird food. There’s literally nothing to do.”

“You can do me” he said with a devious grin.

Ian shoved his boyfriend away “Shut up” he quirked his brow “What do you mean?”

They were almost to the top of the stairs and his arm was still wrapped securely around the younger boy. “Oh right, I forgot to tell you. Fiona invited me to come along. Figured you’d want the company.”

“Oh my GOD! You’re serious?”

“Mmm hmm.”

He pushed passed his boyfriend into the house to see his brother had gone and his sister was gathering up her things. “Is it true Fi?” He ran over to his sister who was standing by the door shoving things in her purse. “Is Mickey coming with us?”

“Only if you want him too.”

“Uh duh” he scoffed and rolled his eyes. He was about to say something else when Mickey draped his arm over him again. 

“Aye Freckles. You got somethin else to say?”

He turned to look at his boyfriend then up to his sister before scratching behind his neck. “Uh yea...sorry for saying that stuff earlier. I was just mad.”

“I know sweetface” Fiona smiled. “I don’t know what’s goin on but I’m here if you need to talk ok.”

Ian swallowed thickly because it didn’t matter, he couldn’t talk about it..ever. “Thanks Fi.” His sister gave his a warm hug then looked over to the window.

“Well boys, Mike is here.” She looked over to Mickey. “We’re leaving around 10am so don’t forget to pack.”

“Sure thing” Mickey replied. Fiona waved goodbye to both of them then left out the door.

He turned to his boyfriend and pulled him in close “Come on. Let’s go take a shower.”

“K”  
**

He dried off his hair and walked into Ian’s room to see his boyfriend putting on his pajamas. “Mm nope. Get your ass dressed man.”

Ian looked at his boyfriend with confusion. “It’s almost 8pm, time to order Chinese and watch a movie..”

“Close but without the Chinese or the pretend theater.” Ian folded his arms and took in a deep breath. He could tell the boy was getting annoyed at his lack of description. He was about to explain when the doorbell rang. “Just get dressed and meet me downstairs.” He walked out of the room and hurried down the stairs to the front door.

“Yo Milkovich” Brad greeted when he opened the door. “You ready or what?”

“Where’s Aaron?”

Brad turned around and peered over the porch “His slow ass is still back there. We gotta hurry though the next train comes in like 20 minutes.”

He ushered his friend inside and grabbed his jacket from the back of the door. Fuck. he needed to take a piss. “I’ll be right back” he walked off to the kitchen.

“Ughhh Mick I really just want Chineeeese” Ian whined as he made his way down the stairs. “We could…” he paused in mid stride when he saw the intruder in the doorway. It was Mickey’s friend from his birthday.

“Why are you here?” He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the bannister.

“Us grown ups are gonna go get some grub and see a scary movie” Brad looked at his phone. “Isn’t it passed your bedtime anyways kid?”

Kid. Kid.. KID! He hated that shit. “First, my name’s Ian not fucking kid and second for your information I don’t have a bedtime.”

“Whoa sounds like someone’s cranky. Little baby forget to take his nap.”

“You know what go fuck yourself” he snapped furrowing his brow. “You can’t be mean to me in my own house. Those are the rules.”

“Jesus Brad, getting bossed around by crybaby himself” Aaron laughed as he stepped in the house. “Where’s Mick?”

“Bathroom” Brad replied.

“You guys should just leave. Mickey doesn’t even like you, you’re mean and stupid. He’s too cool for you.” The two morons looked between each other then back at him and started laughing.

“What?” he cried. “Why are you guys laughing, it’s not funny!”

“But it is. Cry baby has a crush” Brad slapped his leg and brought his hand to his mouth “That’s funny bro. Pretty sure he’s too cool for you not us.”

“Yea he’s your babysitter not your friend big difference” Aaron replied.

“No that’s not...” he paused as two boys stared him down. Don’t cry, don’t cry don’t “Just leave me alone” he sniffled. Fuck.

“Aye!” Mickey shouted walking into the living room. He looked over at his boyfriend whose eyes were glassy and face was a bright shade of red. Nope. “The fuck did you guys do?” He reached out and grabbed Ian pulling him into a hug. “What did they say to you?”

Ian looked over his shoulder at the surprised faces of Mickey's stupid friends. “They s..said you’re not really my friend and that I’m a cry baby and..” 

He put his hand up silencing his boyfriend then turned to his friends. “What I tell you guys hmm? Ian’s cool, so leave him alone.”

Brad scoffed “You can’t be..”

“Yea I’m fuckin serious. Leave him the fuck alone or I’m gonna rearrange your face and then we’ll see who the fuckin crybaby is.” He stepped up to Brad and looked between his friends daring them to say something.

“Chill bro. Didn’t know you were tight.” Brad conceded. “It’s all good kid.”

Ian had to fight the overwhelming urge to jump on his boyfriend and knock him backwards onto the couch. Mickey stood up for him, hugged him even. It wasn’t him saying they were dating but it was something.

“Can we move the fuck on and go get some food now?” Mickey zipped up his jacket and walked to the door. His friends nodded and followed behind. He started to close the door when he noticed Ian was still leaning against the wall. Fuckin kid needed a full breakdown or what? “Come on Freckles. We gotta make this train.”

“Wait? You want me to come? Brad said it was an adult movie.”

He walked over and wrapped his arm over his boyfriend's shoulder. “It is, but we’re sneakin in so that doesn’t fuckin matter.” He kissed Ian quickly on his cheek. “Come on”


	11. Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gets drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the patience guys! I'm gonna start updating this on Tuesdays starting next week. I hope you enjoy my roller coaster. Say goodbye to 12 and 16. The next time we see Ian he will be 14 and starting high school. introducing a whole new can of worms for both boys now that they are in school together. So excited. thank you to my bestie and beta jessica92 for editing. Love you chica. xoxo

“Holy shit” his eyes when round as they approached the dock. There sitting carefree on the water was the Meya Meya. It was fuckin beautiful. Pearl white with 4 levels, each one filled with people smiling and walking about. He followed Ian and his family onto the boat and saw the jacuzzi right away. “Daaamn”

 

Ian looked at his boyfriend. He forgot this kind of thing was new to Mickey. It’s not like they were rich but Fiona had been dating Mike for years so this was not his first time and surely not the last on the yacht. “It’s alright” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

Mickey scoffed. “Alright? Are you fuckin blind Gallagher this shit is on point.” His head felt like it was on a swivel as he looked around marveling at all the yacht had to offer. To start with there were about 10 people with white button up shirts tucked into black pants walking around with small plates of delicious looking food, others with trays of...

 

“Champagne?”

 

“Huh?” he turned to see and older man with a towel draped over his arm and a small mirrored serving tray lined with several champagne glasses. “Uh yea thanks” he replied taking a glass. He looked over at Ian and nodded towards the glass happy to consume the bubbly beverage. Fuckin sweet. He slammed the drink and walked around the first deck until he spotted Fiona and Mike talking with his parents. He went to turn around when he heard his name being called. “Mickey”

 

“What’s up?”

 

Mike approached him then peered over his shoulder. “Where’s Ian?”

 

Oh yea. For a moment he totally forgot about his little boyfriend as he walked around. He spotted him by the buffet table. “Gallagher” he shouted. Ian looked up and rolled his eyes before slowly making his way over to where they two of them were standing.

 

Mike smiled glancing between them before taking a sip of his champagne. “I was happy to hear it when Fiona told us you were accompanying Ian. We weren’t planning on the extra body mind you so you two with have to share a room.”

 

They followed Mike down to the end of the yacht until he stopped in front of a shiny blue door pushing it open. 

 

“Wow, are you for real?” He gasped admiring the layout of the cabin. There was one full size bed against the wall and next to it a white suede couch with striped navy blue pillows. 

 

“I know there’s only one bed but there is an air mattress in the closet, if you need help with that just let me know.”

 

He plopped down on the couch and kicked off his shoes. “Nah man, this is cool.”

 

“Hmph” Ian huffed crossing his arms. He walked over to the dresser and picked up the remote to turn on the tv. Nothing. “Serious Mike. Thought you fixed it this time” he whined then folded his arms.

 

“Not yet buddy but there’s so much more to do then sit in your room and watch TV.”

 

“Yea sure”

 

Mickey jumped up from the bed and walked over to the older man “Thanks Mike, we got it from here.”

 

“Alright then boys. Don’t be strangers, we’ve got some fun things planned for tonight and Mickey I’m sure you would love Tina’s steak sliders.”

 

He nodded his head feeling his mouth start to water. “Don’t worry man, just gonna get stuff situated.” Mike left shutting the door behind him. “What’s your deal Freckles. This place is cool as fuck.”

 

“Yea if your 100. There’s nothing to do Mick. The stupid TV doesn’t even work.”

 

“Who needs tv?” He jumped up from the couch and sauntered over to his boyfriend snaking his arm around his tiny waist. “I can think of much better ways to pass the time” he licked his lips then down slightly to capture Ian’s soft lips in his own. Ian returned the kiss lifting his hand to cradle his head pulling his face closer. “Hmm see..told you.” He slowly let his hands wander down Ian’s back until his fingers were happily cupping his firm ass. He kneaded at supple cheeks for a few seconds before lifting Ian off the ground.

 

“Mick we..”

 

“Shh” he purred setting his boyfriend on the top of the dresser next to the tv. His hands crept under Ian’s shirt and pulled it slowly over red hair. He tossed the shirt on the bed then stepped back and looked at the flushed face and ruffled hair completing the boy in front of him. “So much better than anything on Tv.”

 

Ian could feel his cheeks turning red, he lowered his eyes for a moment then looked up at Mickey who was leaning against the cabin wall “Gimme my shirt, we can’t do that stuff here.” Mickey walked over to the bed and grabbed his shirt bunching it in his hands then throwing it purposefully too low so he missed it. His boyfriend raised a brow and crossed his arms as he stood there staring at him silently. “Really? I’m like 3ft away Mick, how do you miss that?” He laughed and hopped down off the dresser then bent down to pick up his shirt. Within seconds of grabbing the cotton fabric Mickey was behind him pressing up against his ass with the hard on in his pants. “Mickey” he huffed then turned his head to stare into crystal blue eyes. “No”

 

“Yeess” he hummed grabbing Ian and turning him to face him. He pressed the boy against the dresser holding his arms to his side. “I want you, need you” he whispered. Ian was staring at him with a glint in his eye that meant he only had to ask a few more times...at least he hoped. The boat and the little thrill of having people right outside was making him super fuckin horny.

 

“We’re gonna get caught Mickey” he huffed trying to pull from his boyfriends grip. It was no use. “Let me go. Come on people are gonna wonder where we are.”

 

“No they aren’t” he replied “You seen this yacht Gallagher. We’re the last things on their minds trust me.” He inched his face close, letting go of his boyfriends arms. “Don’t you wanna be with me? I thought things were ok now.”

 

Ian furrowed his brow in confusion. “Uh they are, why would you think…”

 

Mickey sighed and stepped back rubbing his nose with his knuckle “I don’t know Ian maybe cause we’re alone, behind a locked fuckin door and you’re bein a baby.”

 

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his bare chest. “I’m not a baby, don’t…”

 

“Didn’t say you were did I, said you were bein one.” He walked back over to his boyfriend grabbing his waist and leaning down “C’mon baby. Just wanna be close to you” he nipped at Ian’s earlobe, pulling it between his teeth knowing how much his little boyfriend loved it. He could feel the boys breathing speed up and decided fuck it. Now was as good a time as any to practice his dirty talk. “Wanna fuck you” he whispered. “Want you to ride my coCK” he enunciated the ‘ck’ to make an impact. He felt Ian’s body go limp in his arms and lifted his head. Ian stared at him for about a second before he lunged up attacking his lips. Thank you porn addiction.

 

****

 

After several hours they were almost ready to emerge from hiding. No he was not really a porn star, after sex they layed in bed and talked about his art. He had his sketchbook out and was staring intently at Ian who’s head was resting contently in the palm of his hand as he stared up at him. He traced the pencil tenderly over the paper in his lap as he told Ian about the project they were working on with blind contour in his art class. Of course Ian had no fuckin clue what it was so he explained.

 

“ It’s when you stare at the outline or a person or what the fuck ever and as you follow it you know you draw very slowly, in a steady, continuous line without liftin’ the pencil or lookin down.”

 

“Whoa” Ian’s eyes widened. “That sounds pretty fucking hard. How can you draw something, like really draw it and not look at what you’re doing?”

 

“It’s not as bad as it sounds honestly” Mickey replied as he finished his outline and moved on to the real detail. He glanced down at his paper then back at Ian and the boy stared off into the wall thoughtfully. The rays from the fading sun light were shining from the tiny circle windows that lined the edge of the ceiling, illuminating the firey red of Ian’s hair. He shaded in the iris of Ian’s eyes then moved to his delicate nose. “Just takes a lot of concentration.” Ian shifted rolling on his back, letting out a content sigh. “But..” he rubbed at his nose with fristaration “It helps to if the thing you draw doesn’t fuckin move.” He erased the shadow from under Ian’s nose adjusting it his new position “You comfortable yet or what?” he questioned not wanting to have to keep erasing, too much and he would have to start over.

 

Ian let out a small laugh then turned his head to the side to face Mickey who’s brow was furrowed. “Yea Mick. You’re so soft and warm.” He burrowed his cheek into his boyfriend’s bare chest. “You make a good pillow.”

 

“Hmph” he huffed as lips turned up into a smile “don’t get all fuckin sappy on me now Gallagher.”

 

“Not sappy just honest” Ian replied. “Hey Mick?”

 

“What?”

 

He reached out for Mickey’s hand that was gliding a pencil along his sketchbook. He grabbed it in mid motion causing his boyfriends eyes to narrow. “I love you.”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and set his pencil down. Not like he could use this for class anyway. He tossed his book aside and smoothed his thumb over Ian’s hand before reaching out and scooping him under his arms. He pulled his boyfriend up over his chest so that Ian was looking down at him. “Love you too.”

 

He tilted his head letting it rest on Mickey’s as their fingers intertwined. “What were you drawing anyways?” His boyfriend licked his lips then reached out to grab his black sketchbook. 

 

“Not done yet but here” Mickey said passing the book up to Ian. He watched as the younger boy stilled, his eyes trailing over the page. He quickly reached out wrapping his fingers around the book. “Like I said easier if you sit fuckin still, it’s stupid any ways.” Ian held tight as he tried to take back his drawing.

 

“No it not Mick. It’s really good.” He stared back at his reflection in the paper. Mickey was really talented. He was able to capture the hair that always falls into his eyes and as he stared he could tell what the face in the picture was thinking as he was drawn. He was thinking how stupidly happy and lucky he was to have this smart, sexy older boy interested in him. He felt his cheeks get hot with embarrassment, he sounded like a freaking school girl. “Can I have it?”

 

No. He wanted it for himself to be perfectly honest but the fact Ian wanted it made him practically melt inside. He’d never given a drawing to someone before, hell other than art class most people didn’t even know he drew. “I guess, if that’s what you want.” Ian’s grip loosened on the book and he was able to pull it back to his lap. He carefully pulled the paper from the spiral holding it captive and folded it in half handing it up to his boyfriend. 

 

Ian opened the page staring at it fondly “Thank you” he whispered

 

“Whatever just keep it to yourself alright.” This moment was getting more and more mushy by the moment. “Get up” he bucked his hips up under his boyfriends butt. “We been hiding in here for like 3 hours, time to go be social.” Really he just wanted to eat more fancy snacks and steal a few more glasses of that champagne. He knew if Ian had his way he would stay locked away in their cabin the whole trip. Ian wrapped his arms around his shoulders and nuzzled into his neck.

 

“Don’t wanna go out there Mick” he whined “It’s boring and we can’t be together.”

 

“What?” he scoffed and turned to look up at his boyfriend. Ian’s eyes were lowered to the bed and his smile was nowhere to be seen. He lifted Ian’s chin and raised his brow. “We’re together Freckles. In here or out there alright. Just can’t fuckin broadcast it you know that.” He leaned up and pressed a kiss against the pout on Ian’s lips. “Now c’mon” he replied as he pulled away “I’m hungry as fuck, it’s gotta be dinner time.”

 

Ian smiled at Mickey before crawling  down from the comfort of his lap. 

 

“I could eat.”

 

****

 

“Ian you have to try these” he grabbed two more of the delicious little pieces of toast topped with tomatoes and cheese. “They should just call it crackers and cheese it makes more sense” he said taking a bite of the horderve.

 

“It’s called bruschetta Mick cause it’s on toasted bread, not a cracker.”

 

“Same fuckin thing.” Ian rolled his eyes as they continued to walk around the boat. He was on his third glass of champagne and was feeling a bit tipsy. Ian was walking with his hands across his chest with a frown pasted on. “Lighten up kid.” He reached out and draped his arm over his little boyfriend. “Take the stick out of your ass. I mean look around” he gestured with his glass to the sunset reflecting across the lake. “It’s fuckin breathtakin aint it.”

 

“Ugh” Ian scoffed shrugging Mickey’s arm off. “It’s a lake Mickey. I’ve seen it every year for the last 3 years.”

 

“Well excuse me Mr. Fuckin Fancy pants” Mickey laughed slamming the rest of his bubbly beverage. 

 

“Maybe you should slow down, we have all weeked” Ian looked to the empty glass then back to his tipsy boyfriend “That’s like the 3rd one in 10 minutes.”

 

“Jesus Ian” he huffed as he raised a finger signaling one of the waiters. “You’re bein a real fuckin buzzkill.” 

 

“Another drink sir”

 

He winked at his grumpy boyfriend and grabbed another champagne flute. 

 

“Mick!”

 

“Shut up already” he sighed before taking a sip.

 

“Hey no fair asshole. I was one away!” Fiona’s voice floated to his ears and he spotted her, Mike, and several others sitting around a table. Hmm. He wandered over leaving Ian leaning against a chair with narrowed eyes. What? Not his fault the kid couldn’t drink. 

 

Ian watched as his boyfriend wandered over to the poker game in the corner. Figures. Why would he want to spend time with him when he could hang out with the much cooler adults.

 

“What do we have here?” He leaned over Fiona’s chair with a wide grin on his face. “You guys playin poker?”

 

“Sure are Milkovich” Lip replied looking at the tipsy teenager. “Where’s Ian?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders “Poutin somewhere” he replied without thinking. Lip stared at him stone faced. “I mean..”

 

“That sounds like Ian” Lip laughed. “Kid hates comin out here.”

 

“I don’t see why” Mike replied as he shuffled the cards. “I loved coming out here when I was a kid.”

 

“He dont hate it, he just bored.” He took a sip of his drink then sat down next to Lip.

 

Ian rolled his eyes as he watched his boyfriend laugh and sit down next to his older brother. He didn’t mind poker, MIckey wouldn’t even know 21 if he hadn’t shown him...maybe they would let him play. They did before. He slowly started to make his way towards the table when he heard Lips loud voice saying his name.

 

“You don’t have to defend him Mickey. Ian’s a brat. We all know it.”

 

“That he is Gallagher” he laughed.

 

“So you in?” Mike looked at the teenager cocking his brow.

 

“Fuck yea. Hit me” He leaned back and sipped on his champagne. This was the life.

 

“Ian’s just special” Fiona defended. “He’s requires a lot of attention. I guess that’s my fault.”

 

“No one is gonna argue with you Fi. I always say you spoil the kid. Mickey” he turned to the teenager next to him. “What do you do when Ian talks back to you hm?”

 

“Don’t get me started” he replied. 

 

“Fiona apologizes. She makes it her fault then buys things to make him happy.”

 

“I do not!”

 

“You kinda do Hon” Mike replied softly receiving a death glare from his girlfriend. “What? I’m just saying what we all know is true. You let him walk all over you.”

 

“He don’t do that shit with me” Mickey replied again letting his tipsy state get the best of him. “I mean, he listens to me.”

 

“That’s because he thinks your his friend Mickey.” Lip said his cards down “I fold.”

 

He rubbed at his nose. Lip was staring at him. This was the most the older boy had talked to him. He felt like he was in the inner circle drinking and playing poker with the adults. “Na it’s cause he knows I don’t put up with that baby bullshit. Nothin that kid does is as bad as Mandy.”

 

“That’s right you have a sister his age.” Mike stared at the boy expectantly. “You gonna go?”

 

“What why?” he huffed “I just got here.” They all laughed at him and he furrowed his brow. “What?”

 

“Your turn sweetie, you gonna go?” Fiona said tapping her finger next her cards on the table.

 

“Oh” he laughed letting out a sigh of relief “Hit me.”

 

Mike dealt him a 6 “Blackjack” he said with a triumphant smile.

 

“Beginners luck” Lip replied smacking the boys shoulder playfully. “Let’s see you do it again.” He reached down and pulled up a bottle of Sailor Jerry’s “But first shots.”

 

“I don’t know guys” Mike said warily “You’re what 16/17?”

 

“15 but it’s cool” he replied slamming the rest of his champagne. “Tell him Fi. My brothers let me drink plus” he said with a drunken smile “It’s the weekend.”

 

“Let him have some fun baby. He’s doin me a favor.” Fiona said winking at the boy across from her.

 

“Alright but I don’t want to hear it if he gets sick.”

 

Lip unscrewed the bottle and took a swig. “Whooa” he shook his head. “Let’s play some fucking cards!” He passed the bottle to Mickey who grabbed it and took a hefty swig then wiped his mouth.

 

“Let’ do it. You’re on Gallagher.”

 

Ian chewed on his thumb as he leaned against a table a few feet away from the poker game which he seemed to be the topic of. He wanted to yell at Mickey and tell him off but then he would say he was throwing a fit. He was agreeing with Lip though, with all of them. Who knows maybe if people actually talked to him and gave him attention he wouldn’t need it so much. When he argued with his sister it made her go out of her way to hang out with him where if he didn’t she would run off and do whatever leaving him with whoever she could pass the buck to. These days that was Mickey. His boyfriend. He said he loved him not even an hour ago but now he was laughing and talking shit about him with the rest of them. How long before he really meant it? Did he already? He called him a buzzkill, a baby, a brat….no. Mickey loved him. He drew him a picture. He squared his shoulders and walked over to the table.

 

“Gallagher” he said feeling his buzz in full force. “Why the long face, c’mere” he reached for the boy but Ian stepped back.

 

“What’s up sweetface?” Fiona looked at her little brother with concern.

 

All eyes were on him and none were sober. He scratched the back of his neck and glanced to the ground before looking at his boyfriend. “I just wanted to see if I could play with you guys.”

 

“Of course you can Freckles” He patted his leg but Ian didn’t move only stared at him with wide eyes. “What?” he looked around the small table, there was nowhere else to sit. “Or you can fuckin stand” he replied holding up his hands in defence “Just trying to be nice.”

 

“That is nice of you Mickey but Ian honey we’re drinkin, you should try and find Suzanne. I bet she would love your company.”

 

“I think she’s in the lounge reading, you two can find somethin to do. Play hide and seek or something” Mike replied.

 

Suzanne was 10, she was Mike’s brothers daughter. Sometimes Mike would bring her along but she was so dull, he’d rather talk to a rock. All she did was read or talk about reading. “I don’t want to play with Suzanne!” he looked over at Mickey “I want to play with you.”

 

“Ian, she said no so go find something to do. You’re on a yacht for fucks sake” Lip snapped.

 

He could feel his eyes water from the tone of his brothers voice. “Fuck you Lip.”

 

“Ian!” Fiona scolded.

 

“I didn’t wanna come on this stupid trip anyway and you” he turned to Mickey “You’re supposed to be on my side but instead you just agree with them. I hate all of you” he shouted then turned and ran. He ran until he was sure no one could see him then sank to the ground. This fucking sucked. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, why couldn’t he just be an adult already, maybe then people would like him.

 

***

“The fuck Lip?” Mickey stood up from the table. Whoa..the boat was spinning...maybe he stood up to fast. He steadied himself then stared at the smug Gallagher. “You made him fuckin cry.”

 

“He always crying Milkovich, don’t you know that by now?”

 

He rubbed at his nose. This fuckin guy. “He just wanted to hang out with you.”

 

“No he wanted attention. You don’t have to pretend to be his friend all the time Mickey. It’s ok.”

 

“Are you..?” he shook his head in disbelief. “I aint pretendin shit Phillip” he leaned over in the older boys face. “You should pretend to be a big brother once in a while though, maybe then the fuckin kid wouldn’t so stupid shit to get your attention.”

 

Lip pushed the boy from his face “I get you might be drunk Mickey but don’t tell me how to handle my little brother. You don’t know how he really is.”

 

“Boys”

 

“No” he pushed the older Gallagher “You don’t know how he really is. He’s fuckin amazing but you..” he circled his finger around the table. “You’re all to caught up in yourselves to fuckin see it.”

 

“Wow I didn’t know you cared so much Mickey” Fiona said reaching out for his hand. She pulled him into a hug and patted his back. “Ian’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

 

He pulled away and scratched at the back of his neck. “Uh well..he’s my best friend, he’s not always a hassle you know.”

 

“I know. Lip only sees him like this with school and…”

 

“I’m right here people. I’m not apologizing.”

 

He rolled his eyes then reached for the bottle, his hand was intercepted.

 

“I think that’s enough for one night.” Mike grabbed the bottle from the angry teenager.

 

“Whatever” he scoffed then turned to walk away.

 

“You gonna go pout to Mickey” Lip called after him.

 

“No fuck you very much” he hissed. “I’m gonna go find you’re brother, show him at least someone cares.” He flipped off the table then stumbled away his eyes darting every which way looking for his runaway boyfriend.

 

***

 

It was getting dark and still no Mickey. What did he really expect? He leaned against the orange plastic and sank down. The equipment room had always been a place of refuge when he came out on these trips. Between the two jet skis and the giant tube he was laying in he had complete privacy. He would stare through the skylight at the stars until he either fell asleep or got bored. His eyes were feeling heavy when he heard a crash outside the door.

 

“Fuck” Mickey yelled as he picked himself up from the ground. He’d been wandering around this boat for over an hour. His buzz in full swing between the champagne and shots of rum. His feet were like lead causing him to trip over the fucking ropes on the ground for the stupid sails. He brushed himself off then balanced himself on the edge of the boat not daring to look over. His stomach was already in knots from the slight movement of the current rocking against the yacht. He closed his eyes and took in several deep breaths trying to steady himself. Suddenly a hand touched his shoulder and he opened his eyes to see green ones staring back at him.

 

“Mickey? What are you doing over here?”

 

He stood up straight gripping the wall for balance. “I been lookin for you. Your ass man. You..you can’t just fuckin run off like that. I’ve been round this..this fuckin maze walkin forever.”

 

“Really?” he was surprised. After earlier he figured Mickey would just stay and get drunk with his family. The drunk part was obvious but that made the gesture even more surprising.“Why didn’t you stay and play your game?”

 

“Fuck the game. Fuck it who needs it.” He mumbled. “Who needs it when I have you. C’mere you.” He reached out for his boyfriend but again Ian stepped away causing him to stumble forward. “Aye, get over here” he snapped his fingers at his side.

 

“You said some mean things Mickey, I don’t wanna..”

 

“Shhh” he pressed his finger against soft lips. “Shhhh Ian just shh. I..I love you, I told your brother.”

 

“What! You told Lip you love me?”

 

“What? Hell no” he rubbed at his temples as they throbbed at the thought. “No told him to be nice to you. Told him you cried.”

 

“Miiiick” Ian whined then crossed his arms “Now he’s gonna think i’m even more of a crybaby.”

 

“Shhhh..no. I told him it was fucked up. See I love you so I defended you.” Ian looked at him with his big green eyes and he couldn’t resist he reached out and grabbed his shoulders.

 

“Mickey I told you..”

 

“Don’t care” he replied pulling him into his chest. Ian was looking down at the ground. “Hey you.” He nuzzled his cheek earning a tiny laugh. “I said..”

 

“You love me I know” Ian replied looking up at his drunken boyfriend. “I..I love you too.”

 

“Kiss me”

 

“Out here?” Ian looked around, they were alone but there were so many people on the yacht anyone could just show up. “Let’s go back to the room instead.”

 

“Nooo” Mickey huffed. “Kiss me here, right now.”

 

He tried to pull away but Mickey’s grip was firm “Mickey come on, it’s getting cold lets just..”

 

“Fuck really Ian!” He let go of the boy in his grasp and rubbed his nose “What is your problem man? You say..you say want my attention but now..now you don’t.”

 

“What?” Mickey was getting harder to follow the more he spoke. “Mick your drunk.”

 

“So” he snapped loudly “The fuck does that even mean. I’m drunk so you won’t kiss me that it?”

 

“Mick you’re being a jerk! Stop it.” He backed away slowly as he kept his eyes on his slowly angering boyfriend. “I’m gonna go back to the cabin ok.”

 

“No you’re gonna stay right here and kiss me.” He reached out again grabbing Ians hand and pulling him close. “Stop bein a bitch and just fuckin do it.”

 

At this point he really didn’t want to kiss at all, in the room or anywhere else. “No and don’t call me..”

 

“A bitch?” Mickey laughed. “You’re bein one so why not?”

 

“Stop it” Ian huffed pouting his lip.

 

“Stop bein a bitch then.” He could see Ian’s resistance fading just a little more. “Maybe then people would want to spend more time with you.”

 

Ian felt a tear escape his eye. “Why would you say that?” he sniffled then looked to the ground.

 

“Truth hurts Freckles. I love you though, bitch or not.” He grabbed the boys chin lifting it to stare into watery emeralds. “So kiss me.”

 

Ian’s lip quivered then he slowly stood on his tiptoes leaning upwards to plants a tearfilled kiss against his boyfriends lips.

 

“Mm” he hummed letting his hands slide down his boyfriend's back until they cupped his ass. “Don’t know why you make it so hard baby” he sighed into the kiss. “Just listen.”

 

“I’m sorry” Ian replied desperately pressing his body against his boyfriends. He didn’t understand Mickey sometimes, he confused him. He was mean and nice and it was really hard to follow but it was ok. He would figure it out eventually.

 

“It’s ok Freckles.” He squeezed his ass and felt his dick pushing against his jeans. “You can be my bitch.”

 

“Stooop” Ian cried breaking away from the kiss as tears poured down his face. “I said I was sorry. Stop calling me that.”

 

“Hey..hey” he wiped a tear from his boyfriends eye. “You’re right. I...you said sorry. I didn’t….I won’t say that..”

 

“It’s not true” Ian whined.

 

“Nope” Mickey nodded. “Not true at all. You’re not a bitch I’m..I’m sorry.” Ian stared back at him then lunged into a kiss. “Mm you’re not..mm” he hummed into Ian’s mouth as their tongues danced around each other. “You’re perfect baby.”

 

“Promise?” Ian said softly pulling back to look at him. “You mean it?”

 

“Mean it. Perfect everything. Wanna touch you’re perfect body” he reached down and started to pull up his boyfriends shirt.

 

“We caaan’t” Ian frowned. “There’s people Miiickey!”

 

“Fuck em”

 

He didn’t want to step backwards so he looked around. The equipment room. “Come on. Follow me.” He grabbed his boyfriends hand and started pulling him along.

 

“Where we goin?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 


	12. Figure You Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mandy start their first day of high school and Ian's lets something slip that could ruin everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make a nice long chapter lol. I should have been working on 247 today but I had to update this since i skipped last week. I hope you enjoy. I highly recommend listening to the song first. I hope you all enjoy, comments and kudos are appreciated. It's been a long day, had a family emergency so i hope there are not too many errors. Thank you jessica92 for arguing with me, you'll see where. It really helps keep a realistic tone love you girl! Enjoy xoxo

 

 

 

**Ian is 14 and Mickey is 17. They are 3.5 years apart. Ian’s birthday is in August and Mickey’s is in March xo**

 

“Did you grab your lunch money?”

 

“Yes Fi.”

 

“Your phone?”

 

“Yes” Ian sighed.

 

“What about your new binder? I put it on the table last night do you have it?”

 

He unzipped his backpack pulling out the green camouflage binder. Relax sis.”

 

“I’m just makin sure you’re prepared. It’s a big day.” Fiona looked around the kitchen. She couldn’t focus her thought. What was it…..”Oh do you have a snack? I can make you..”

 

“This isn’t grade school Fi I’ll be fine” he said with an amused laugh as he leaned against the wall.

 

His sister was pacing around trying to think of everything under the rainbow that he would possibly need for his first day as a highschool freshman. All he really needed was to leave or they would be late. He heard a knock at the door and reached out to touch his sisters arm. “I got everything I need Fiona. Mandy’s here though so I should go.” He walked over to the back door opening it and letting his friend inside.

 

“Hey Fiona.”

 

“Hey Mandy” Fiona replied with a half smile before turning back to her brother. “You’ve just grown up so much!” she reached for her brother pulling him into a bear hug and burying her face in his hair. “My baby brothers goin to his first day of highschool” she sniffed.

 

“Relax Fi” he replied softly pushing out of his sisters grasp. “It will be fine ok. I promise, you have nothing to worry about.”

 

Fiona wiped under her eyes careful not to smear her makeup. “I better not Ian. You be on your best behavior ok. They don’t need to see another Gallagher causin trouble or you’ll just be labeled” she laughed. “Lip was bad enough.”

 

Ian smiled and started to walk over to his friend who was leaning against the door. “I’ll see you tonight ok?”

 

“Ok, off you go” she sniffed.

 

**

 

“She’s takin it pretty hard huh?” Mandy pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket passing one to her best friend. “I never seen her cry before.”

 

Ian laughed grabbing the smoke. He place it between his lips and mandy cupped the flame in her hand bringing it to his face. “Yup” he said taking a drag. “Guess she thought I would stay a baby forever.”

 

“Ugh! Highschool Ian!” Mandy spun in small circle. “Can you fuckin believe it? We’re about to enter the era of parties, and boyfriends and sex! “

 

“No more being treated like some stupid annoying kid” he added grabbing his friends hand. “They have no idea what their in for Mands. We are gonna be so cool, I mean we already smoke.”

 

“And drink.”

 

“And sex” he said casually causing his friend to stop dead in her tracks. Oh fuck. “I mean porn, you’ve watched porn haven’t you?” His heart was pounding against his chest as his friend surveyed his face. 

 

“Duh!” Mandy exclaimed punching her friend in the arm. “I thought you meant sex, sex asshole.”

 

“Hmph no. Of course not”

 

“Good cause I was gonna be jealous.” Mandy twirled her hair in her finger. “You know cause we’ve been friends forever, best friends right?”

 

He could feel Mandy’s insecurity so squeezed her hand and pulled her into a hug as they approached the school. “Always Mands.”

 

They started up the walkway with his dying cigarette still resting between his lips. He grabbed it and flicked it to the side as they turned the corner.

 

“Hey asshole watch it!”

 

Ian turned to follow the loud voice to see a stout boy in a football jersey glaring at him. “What’d you say?” he questioned, genuinely curious. The boy walked up and shoved him causing him to stumble backwards.

 

“I said fuckin watch it. You flicked your cigarette on my shoes jerk.”

 

“I didn’t mean to man, my bad” Ian replied calmly trying to pacify the situation. “It was an accident.”

 

“Didn’t you read the fuckin no smoking signs loser. They’re everywhere.”

 

“Wow a dumb jock who can read” Mandy sneered folding her arms across her chest. “I’m impressed.”

 

“Shut up bitch” the boy snapped stepping up to them. “No one’s talking to you.”

 

“Hey..” Ian said putting his hand up “That’s uncalled for dude. She..”

 

“Oh, this your girlfriend?”

 

“No”

 

The boy leaned over to dramatically check out his friend then walked up to him. “Wouldn’t mind gettin me a piece of that. What’s your name sweetheart.”

 

As soon as he saw the boys hand reached for his friends waist he was on him. One blow to the face to throw him off balance then he jumped on him, knocking them both to the ground. “Keep your hands to yourself you fat fuck” he yelled punching the boy in the face. The football player flipped them around and punched him back.

 

“You’re fuckin dead freshman”

 

“Fuck you!” he shouted pushing the older boy until he got the upper hand again. He was about to punch his stupid face again when arms reached out pulling them apart.

 

“Let me go!” he shouted kicking and grabbing for the other boy who was being held back by two teachers.

 

“Boys! You need to calm down right now and come with us” The man behind him said then looked down at him. “You good?”

 

He nodded his head and looked at his friend. “You’re gonna be late Mandy I’ll just see you in class.”

 

“Nope she’s coming along too.” The teacher ushred his friend to follow them and the six were escorted to the principal's office.

 

****

 

Mickey tapped his fingers on the desk waiting for the roster. He was working with Jenna, the activities director and his art teacher to set up an Fundraiser Dinner. It was for the school featuring the artwork done by last years Juniors. The grade was informed about the project and applicants were accepted over the Summer. They would present their work, have dinner then after would be dessert and a silent auction. All proceeds to go the art budget for the year and to fund the Senior trip to D.C. If they raised enough money, the school would be able to pay for everything and he really wanted to go. It was the first of many event’s planned this year but this one was his. He was getting extra credit for the project and some experience in running his own gala. Not that he wanted to do that..he wanted to be an architect but it was still a great opportunity and he would have been stupid to turn it down.

 

“Here you are Mr. MIlkovich.” Jenna said handing him a manilla folder. “These are the applicants with thumbnails and descriptions of their work. We need you to chose 20 to showcase, then coordinate with them to find the perfect display and make sure they have a presentation speech ready. Any questions?”

 

“Yea whats the budget for this thing? S’posed to be some fancy dinner party right?”

 

“We’d like it to be like a true Gala opening so yes. Black tie. Mr. Scott will go over the spending account with you. It is a fundraiser but we have some leeway to do what you think is necessary.”

 

He smiled and nodded his head. “Right on. Thank’s Jenna.”

 

“Thank you Mickey. When Mr. Scott recommend you for this I was a little nervous but I’ve seen your work and I know you will do a wonderful job.”

 

“Thank you for the chance.” He waved goodbye to the women then walked out the door into the main office. He blinked several times just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating but he wasn’t. Sitting with a sour look across the room on the bench outside the principal's office was his boyfriend, his sister and...James?” He quickly walked out of the office and tucked the envelope under his arms before reaching for his phone.

 

_ Mick (9:15) Wtf Ian? Why are you in the office and why is my sister with you? _

 

Ian felt his phone vibrate and pulled it from his hoodie. He saw the name and a smiled curled over his lips. 

 

_ Ian (9:18) Got into a fight _

 

“Of fuckin course” he sighed and shook his head in frustration. Ian was getting bigger, older. He would always be older than him but that didn’t stop the fact Ian was almost his height now or that he had his own temper. He was partly to blame. They fought enough that the kid needed to develop some skills on his own. Wasn’t his fault, he tried but he had issues. Control issues, anger issues and mostly, he just liked having his way. It was easier when Ian hung off his every word, now they would disagree on things and he actually had to be a real dick sometimes. That doesn’t mean they were unhappy, they loved each other. When they were good they were really good and that was a good 90% of the time but when they were bad...that 10% could be pretty intense. He needed to know why his sister was involved though.

 

_ Mick (9:20) Why is Mandy with you? _

 

_ Ian (9:22) She witnessed it. I guess they need her statement. Ggt x _

 

Damn it! He wanted more information. His next class started at 10 then he had free period until 12pm.

 

_ Mick (9:25) you know where conference room in on the 3rd floor? The one they do the PTA shit in? _

 

_ Ian (9:28)  No Mick this is my first day. I have to go in now. _

 

_ Mick (9:30) fuckin ask someone & meet me there in an hour. _

 

_ Ian (9:32) but I have class _

 

Fuck.

 

_ Mick (9:36) who? _

 

_ Ian (9:38) English Lit with Mr. Carrigan. Bye. _

 

Ian put his phone away and looked up at his principle who was still taking Mandy’s statement. He looked over at the football player who looked sad and annoyed like he knew what was about to happen.

 

“Mr. Devant picking a fight with a freshman. This is what your…” The women flipped through her notebook. “This is your 3rd violent offense.”

 

“The year just started Mrs. Reed you can’t..”

 

“No James I can. We’re benching you for the Opening Game. I can have you running around starting fights.”

 

“Please Mrs. Reed!”

 

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice as for you Mr. Gallagher.”  the women turned to look at him. “We have a zero tolerance policy here. I’ll be in contact with your parents. I do NOT want to see you in my office again am I clear?”

 

“Crystal.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Yes. I understand, can we go now. We’re already late to class.” The principle gave him a stern look then stood up from her desk.

 

“I’m serious Mr. Gallagher. Next time it’s detention. This is a warning.”

 

He nodded and the principle excused him.

*****

 

It was 11am. Where the fuck was Ian?  He’d gone to his art teacher to ask if he  could pull students to get there opinions on the submissions for the project. Of course Mr. Scott agreed and gave him the key to the conference room. The sound proof, lockable conference room. So then he took it upon himself to speak with Mr. Carrigan about borrowing one of his students for an hour for the whole process and of course the old fossil said yes and obviously he chose Ian so…

 

He pulled out his phone.

 

MIckey (11:05am) wtf Ian where are you?

 

Ian looked down at his phone and scoffed. He was wandering the halls, that’s where. He was given directions to the conference room based off of other rooms, did no one understand this was his first day here, that he was a freshman? He ignored the text and kept on his search. He was about to give up when he saw a guy dressed in a blue button up and slacks, round wire rimmed glasses and a fohawk standing by a door. So far he’s only asked his teacher and the front desk maybe this dude spoke his language.

 

“Hey” he said walking up to the guy. “I’m kinda lost. Trying to find the “Juniper” conference room?”

 

The guy eyed him then pointed down the hall. “Juniper eh? You know this floor is for Seniors right. That’s the conference room for Senior Projects.”

 

Ian scratched his neck nervously. Guy needs to just shut up and tell him the directions.

 

“Uh no I didn’t but I was called there so…”

 

The boy held up his hands in defense “Hey no worries kid, wasn’t trying to be rude just makin sure I point you in the right direction. I’m Nick.” 

 

The blonde stuck his hand out and Ian pulled his from his hoodie pocket and slowly returned the gesture. Nick smiled at him. “So Juniper…I can show you. Drama doesn’t start for like 20 anyway. This is my free period”

 

“Drama?”

 

“Yes you know like STELLA!” Nick shouted through the halls causing him to jump back. “Seriously man Street Car Named Desire?” Ian shook his head.

 

“Nope never heard of it…”

 

“Well we meet every day at 11:30, stop by sometime.”

 

Ian blushed not sure of what was happening “Uh yea, I have English and then lunch so..”

 

Nick folded his arms “So you are fresh meat?”

 

“A freshman? Yea.”

 

“Junior...our pods are on the same floor...kinda like you and the softies…”

 

“Sophomores?”

 

“That’s what I said” Nick laughed. “Well Ian, check it out sometime. If you like it they can always change your schedule. Who knows..” NIck said with a smile “You might see something you like.”

 

His phone buzzed again

 

Mickey (11:15) U R killin me man…

 

“Uh thanks for the invitation, I’ll think about it.” He shoved his phone along with both hands back into his pocket. “I’m late for this meeting though, you said down the hall right?” He started backing up so he could look.

 

“Yea it’s the one with a white paper on it that says ‘in use’ kinda a dead giveaway. Just go down the hall to the drinking fountains and take a left.”

 

“Thank you” he replied turning around.

 

“Ian...Hope to see you around.”

 

Ian gave a small wave with a smile then hurried down the hall. That was weird. He wasn’t used to people really being nice to him except for Mickey and that was still tricky. Mickey was the only one who ever flirted with him. That guy wasn’t flirting, he would know if he was being firted with..right? He approached the door and took a deep breath then rapped his knuckles against the wood. “Mick?”

 

Mickey pulled open the door to see his boyfriend standing there apprehensively. He grabbed his arms and pulled him inside before shutting and locking the door behind them. “What took you so long?”

 

Ian set his bag down on the long table. “I got lost..”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes. Off course, it’s not like his little redhead knew the school like he did. “Whatever c’mere” he walked up to Ian and closed the distance between them as he ran his hands down his shoulders. “Missed ya” he sighed into the kiss then went to unzip Ian’s jeans.

 

“Whoa Mick” Ian laughed pushing his boyfriend away “We’re at school. I don’t think..”

 

“What I tell you about bout thinkin Freckles hm?” He smirked and curled his fingers under Ian’s jeans yanking him close so their noses were touching “Don’t” he slid his hand under the hem of Ian’s jeans and let it slide under the boys boxers and across smooth skin lightly covered with soft pubic hair until he wrapped his fingers along Ian’s shaft. “Just let me love you” He leaned his weight against Ian as he kissed and nipped at his jawline while his hand moved back and forth.

 

He pressed his hands into the wall to brace himself as he craned his neck and blinked his eyes. “Mm Mickey” he moaned then reached for his boyfriend's jeans. He undid Mickey’s pants and slid his fingers over his boyfriend's hard dick.

“That’s it baby” he purred as his free hand squeezed Ian’s ass then slowly slid between his round cheeks.

 

“No Mick really we…”

 

“Stop” He pressed his lips into Ian’s swallowing his protests as the tip of his finger circled around the boys entrance. He lifted his hand and swapped it for the glistening one that had squirts of precum across the fingers from his boyfriends excitment. He pressed against Ian’s hole and his fingers sank in easily. “Fuck Ian” he groaned as the boys warm iviting muscles wrapped around him snugly. He started to move them back and forth causing his boyfriend to fal apart.

 

“Mickeu uh..uh M..mick mm”  He slapped the wall with his free hand as he increased the pace of his, moving his hand back and forth over MIckey’s hardening dick. He found himself pushind down against his fingers but.. “Fuck me” he sighed letting go and staring into ocean blue eyes.

 

Mickey didn’t need to be told twice, he pulled out his fingers and grabbed Ian pushing him up against the table and bending him over. “So fuckin good to me baby wanting to get fucked.”

 

He loved when Mickey said things like that. When he told him he was pretty, or perfect of beautiful. It sounded cheesy and stupid but no one ever cared enough or paid him any attention. Mickey was the only one who would shower him with compliments occasionally and he would take it. “Yea? Want you to fuck me hard right here” he said with a small laugh lifting his head to look behind him at his boyfriend.

 

“Jesus Ian” He pushed his boyfriend back down then rubbed his thumbs along the curves of his cheeks before pulling them open. He never tired of looking at Ian’s ass. His hole was pink and puckered and still so fuckin tight even after years of being fucked. They were made for each other that’s why. He lined up against his boyfriend's entrance and started to press in.

 

“Ahh” Ian hissed softly before pulling his bottom lip into his mouth as a distraction from the fact they had no lube. Fingering was one thing but going dry took a minute to adjust.

 

He could feel Ian tense up around him. He should have grabbed his back pack from his locker but in all honesty he didn’t see this happening. He figured they would just get each other off but no complaints. He leaned back pulling his tip out then spit the mouthful of saliva he was building up on Ian’s hole causing it to quiver. He rubbed his small circles dipping his finger in and out and spitting until he had some semblance of lubrication. He pressed his tip against the tight ring of muscles and pushed in past the resistance.

 

“Mm” Ian hummed gripping the table. 

 

“You ok?” he said as he pulled out. He leaned down so his head was resting on Ian’s shoulder staring into his green eyes. He was so perfect just fuckin bent over with his ass in the air like some porno. He’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t getting off on fucking him in the conference room of his school, that was some porno shit and we know by now he’s kinda obsessed with porn. Not to mention Ian was the cutest fuckin thing he’d ever seen so he would do anything for him with just one look, for the most part. “We can uh..we can do this later…”

 

Ian turned his head and smiled at his concerned boyfriend “I’m good Mickey, not gonna break, I’m not a baby. Just fuck me..”

 

“But you’re my baby Gallagher” he placed his hands over Ians squeezing them. He was over hating himself for the fact that Ian’s cuteness was a huge turn on. He used to think it was bad but they had been together now 3 years and Ian was just as adorable as the first time he saw him. He kissed his soft neck then pumped into him again. “My sexy, perfect beautiful...”

 

“Miick mm uh.. Don’t c.c.all me that..” he whined as the older boy moved faster and sucked at his skin. “I’m not a baby!”

 

“Don’t be so sensitive Freckles. I mean y..your uh hmm” he licked his lips relishing the way Ian’s body was gripping him “You never had a problem before, thought you liked bein may baby” he whispered. “Thought you were mine forever and ever, my” he snapped his hips and reached down for Ians dick “Cute, adorable, dirty fuckin baby” 

 

He tried to keep the straight face but couldn’t, he loved how much of an effect he had on the older boy. He always had. “I..I am Mickey hmm I’m sorry.”

 

He pulled out and sat up then reached down and pulled Ian up from the table and shoved him up against the wall. “Don’t be” He lifted Ian up and the boy wrapped his legs around him. He slowly let Ian fall down onto his hard, waiting cock then started fucking upwards. 

 

“Mickey” Ian moaned rolling his hips as his back rest against the wall.

 

“Ian” he chanted as he leaned on his boyfriend chest and started stroking his dick. “Mm I love you baby, love you ..uh..s..so much.”

 

“I..I love you too” Ian grabbed his boyfriend's shoulders “Uh Mickey..please please mm pleease”

 

“Shh” he captured eager lips in his own “too loud baby” he whispered as he pulled back slowly. “Uh fuck” he rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh as he filled his boyfriends hole. He felt Ian clench around him then the boy through his head back against the wall and came hot spurts in his hand.

He set Ian down and pulled off his shirt using it to wipe his hand then handing it to his boyfriend. He always wore a tank top under his clothes and no one would say shit...let em try.

 

Ian wiped himself and handed the shirt back to his boyfriend. “Guess that’s ruined now” he laughed.

 

Mickey smiled “Worth it.” he balled the shirt up so it would be ready to toss in the trash outside. “You got a pass I need to sign or..”

 

“Oh” Ian reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out the pink paper excusing him from class. His boyfriend looked so hot right now as he filled out the paper. Mickey was sweaty and his hair was sticking up in certain spots from his grip. His boyfriend returned the paper and walked over to the door.

 

“I’ll see you after school?”

 

He was gonna walk home with Mandy so it only made sense Mickey would join them. “Sounds good.” Mickey smacked his ass and pushed him out the door. He thought he would follow him but instead Mickey shut the door. He probably was collecting himself before returning to class. He thought about how Mickey looked and decided he should probably take time to freshen up in the bathroom. He looked at the pass, sure as shit Mickey gave him an extra 10 minutes. He smiled and turned the corner. That definitely made up from the shitty morning.

***

 

He leaned against the fence waiting for his friend. Mandy was making her way across the parking lot.

 

“See you found where the cool kids hang” she said snatching the cigarette from Ian’s hand. “Would you be jealous if i told you I already made a new friend?”

 

“So jealous” he replied sarcastically. “Spill..’

 

Mandy started to talk about this girl in her History class named Alice. Apparently Alice  had her nose pierced too and told Mandy she could get her a tattoo.

 

“Really? You know what you would even want?”

 

Mandy shrugged her shoulders handing him the smoke. 

 

“Dunno maybe roses or like a gypsy cat..”

 

Ian took a drag “Gypsy cat sounds fuckin cool.”

 

Mandy pulled out her phone and showed him some pictures her and alice had been looking at during class. He was in the middle of swiping through the pages when he heard Mickey’s voice.

 

“You’re so full of shit! Michelle is into you man. If I can see that shit then you must be fuckin blind.” Mickey walked over to his usual spot with Brad and Aaron close behind. Aaron spent their entire last class missing signals from his friend Michelle who it was obvious wanted to be more than friends.

 

“She asked you to be her partner genius” mickey chuckled lighting his cigarette “We all know she coulda asked fuckin Dana to be her partner since they are like inseparable buuuuut” he mused “she asked you.”

 

“Doesn’t mean anything guys. I’ve known Michelle  since kindergarten. We’re just friends.”

 

“Uggh you’re a fuckin idiot.” He took a drag of his cigarette and rest his head against the chain link fence “She’s a senior man, this is your last chance to lock it down before she becomes a college girl and does some girls gone wild type shit.”

 

“Yea” Brad laughed “We don’t wanna hear you bitch about how you could been with her but missed because you’re a pussy.”

 

“Fuck you” Aaron huffed. “Who are you to talk Mickey, not like you been gettin at anything lately.”

 

“Ever” Brad corrected.

 

“Aye” Mickey held up his hand. “I got my shit locked down alright, plus this is about you bein a bitch not my sex life fuck you very much.” He turned lazily to the side and saw...Mandy? Yup that was Mandy and she was talking to Ian who happened to be staring right back at him. He quickly stood up straight and turned around to face his friends. “So you should invited her to the Gala. Trust me, it’s gonna be all fancy and shit. Chicks dig that. Guaranteed panty dropper” He felt his phone buzz but chose to ignore it and continue plotting on how to get his friend laid.

 

**

 

“And then she was like, you shouldn’t do it on your ribs cause it hurts but that’s where she has hers. Plus who is she to say where I can and can’t have my tattoo. I’m an adult, I can handle it am I right?”

 

“Uh huh. That wasn’t cool” he said lost in his own train of thought. Mickey had seen him outside, he was with his friends sure but they knew they were friends too so why didn’t he come over and say hi? Instead he turned his back to him. He even went so far as to send a message saying peekaboo hoping mickey would LOL it but silence. He was pulled from his thoughts by his friend hitting his shoulder.

“Damn it Mandy” he put his phone in his pocket and turned to his friend. “Why’d you do that?”

 

“You’re not even listening to me!”

 

He looked back over to where Mickey was standing only to find him and his friends had gone inside so he turned back to his friend. “Look I’m just distracted but I was listening...mostly” he smiled playfully and held up his hands to block any more potential violence.

 

“Well talk to me then” she leaned her head  on her friends shoulder “You’re my best friend, I don't like when your upset.”

 

“I’m not upset it’s….just forget it.”

 

“IAN CLAYTON GALLAGHER” Mandy huffed folding her arms. “I’ve known you since 1st grade. I know when you’re lyin so tell me!”

 

Ian rubbed his neck, feeling a bit on the spot. If only he wasn’t so easy to read maybe he would be a better liar. “It’s just there’s this guy I been seeing and..”

 

“Wait” Mandy shushed her friend with her finger than stepped directly in front of him. “You’re gay?”

 

“I don’t know..I mean yea maybe..”

 

“Wow. Ok and this guys what’s his name?”

 

“Yeeeah I can’t tell you that” he sighed regretting the conversation already. “He’s kinda still in the closet” he said with a long pause “he’s afraid of what will happen if people know, so for now it’s a secret.”

 

Mandy nodded her head “mmkay well does he go here?” Ian nodded yes. “Is he in our grade?” 

 

“Just drop it Mands. We gotta get to class.” He picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulders as he started to walk away.

 

“No not gonna happen” Mandy called out running to catch up with her friend. “Come on Ian give me somethin.”

 

He rolled his eyes “Fine. His favorite color is red.”

 

“No shit” Mandy laughed then reached up to touch his hair.

 

“Knock it off” he playfully pushed his friend into her locker. “Look I can’t tell you anything else ok. Like I said it’s a secret, promise not to say anything.”

 

“Pinkie promise.”

 

***

 

Mickey finally texted him back but it wasn’t in response to his message. The older boy asked him what size he wore? Weird. He told him he was a medium and size 28 pant. Why would he even ask that question? Whatever. He was annoyed. Mickey was blowing him off and only asking him shit he wants to know instead of answering any of the text he sent throughout the day. To think they actually fucked only a few hours ago, here at school was too much. Why was he some big dark secret? What was wrong with him? 

 

The bell finally rang sending his first day of school into the past and he couldn’t be more relieved. He thought he was having a good day but then Mickey had to be Mickey and confuse him. He couldn’t figure the boy out, he tried. He really did. He knew what upset him and what made him laugh but then there was that grey area where his boyfriend was a total dick. He just didn’t understand his way around him  and wondered if he ever would.

 

He lit up a cigarette across the street waiting for Mandy. They were supposed to be walking home together but she was already 5 minutes late. He took a drag and stared up at the sky.

 

“Hey Freckles” Mickey walked up behind his boyfriend stealing his cigarette then looking up at the sky. “Whatchya doin beside starin at the clouds like rainman?”

 

“Fuck off Mickey” he said folding his arms and turning to the school. He was not in the mood to be made fun of.

 

“Whoa easier there” Mickey looked around and stepped a tiny bit closer to his boyfriend so Ian’s back almost touched his chest. “Come hangout with me” he said softly.

 

“Can’t” Ian replied shortly. “Made plans with Mandy.”

 

“Fuck Mandy” Mickey snapped pushing off Ian’s back. “Bitch can walk home, you….” he walked back over to Ian as he took a drag off the cigarette. “You need to hangout with me. You’re my BFF not hers..plus” he handed the smoke to his boyfriend. “You don’t have a choice, I’m just askin to be nice.” With that he grabbed Ian’s bag from the ground and took off down the street.

 

“Damn it Mickey” he shouted tossing his smoke on the ground before hightailing it to catch up with his mischievous milkovich. “Mickey slow down!” He ran several blocks behind the older boy until he saw him turn and run down an alley. He followed behind but saw no one. “Fuck” he panted trying to catch his breath. The next thing he knew he was being pushed up against the wall with Mickey’s lips attacking his own.

 

“Told you, fuck that bitch.” He grabbed Ians hands and lifted them to his waist “This is so much better.”

 

They made out in the alley for a few minutes before Mickey got a hair up his ass to go to the abandoned buildings. The last time he went there was like 2 years ago but Mickey went with his stupid friends all the time and shot of guns at bottles. He was never invited but Mickey said Fiona would freak out and she probably would. He didn’t like mickey's friends anyways. They were nice to his face but he’d heard them talk shit, they were just jealous is what Mickey told him.

 

**

They spent the next few hours lying on an old mattress and staring at the sky. Mickey told him about his Art Gala which sounded super cool. He loved when the older boy talked about art, he got so passionate and his eyes and face lit up. He liked seeing him happy. He was lying sideways on the mattress with his head on mickey’s stomach looking at the clouds

 

"Ok how bout that one" Mickey pointed to a small cloud. 

 

Ian stared at it as he puffed on the joint "I don't know..a car?" 

 

Mickey laughed "Alright I can see that."

 

Ian passed him the joint and pointed to another cloud "hmm what about that one, with the sun peekin behind it." 

 

Mickey stared thoughtfully as smoke floated slowly from his nose "fuckin dog duh. Look" he pointed with his pinky as he gripped the joint "there's the ears and the fuckin tail" 

 

Ian rolled on his side so he was looking at his boyfriend and scrunched up his face "Not a dog Mick, it’s a bear." 

 

Mickey sat up on his elbows "Na that clearly a fuckin dog freckles, you need to get your eyes checked."

 

"Whatever, I see a bear." 

 

Mickey laughed then scoured the sky. It was getting dark and was probably about to rain but that was perfect for his cloud. He found a big puffy gray cloud looming in the distance "last one then we gotta bounce before we get rained on." 

 

"Scared of a little water Mickey?” 

 

_ Bzzz. bzzzz.  _ Ian’s phone rang again, it had been going off the whole time but Mickey told him to ignore it, said it was just Mandy bein nosey. 

 

“Gimme that” Mickey reached for his boyfriends phone and turned the ringer off before handing it back. “I ain't afraid of fuckin water, just don't wanna listen to your ass bitch all the way home” He pointed and stared at the looming cloud “Mkay that one. What is it?" 

 

"Easy" Ian replied sitting up "It’s a mountain. See, there's the peaks and the little parts branching out are the fields and trees." 

 

Mickey turned to Ian and stared into his green eyes feeling a warmth in his heart "nope. Guess again." 

 

Ian furrowed his brow. "C'mon mick it's a big grey cloud?" Mickey took a long drag then blew out the smoke.

 

"Its our house" he said as a smile formed across his lips.

 

"What do you mean our house?"

 

He pointed to the sky "It's the house I'm gonna build when we move to New York. See there" he pointed to the top of the cloud" that's gonna be the main part then all the outside is gonna be the different rooms. We're gonna have like 6 rooms. A game room, some guest rooms.”

 

“A lego room?”

 

Mickey laughed “Fuck yea a lego room, that and an art studio.

hat bottom part" he pointed to the base of the cloud "That's gonna be the pool room for when I throw fancy parties as a famous architect and lastly the garage for all our cars." He turned to his boyfriend. "No fancy new york home is complete without a few classic cars. Come on Gallagher do you see it?"

 

“Yea Mick” Ian said grabbing his boyfriends hand and interlocking their fingers. “I see it.”

 

****

 

They walked back to his house in a comfortable silence. He pushed open his front door to see two worried faces staring back at him.

 

“Ian Clayton Gallagher!” Fiona walked over to her little brother thankful to see him breathing. “Where were you? You were supposed to be home hours ago!”

 

He looked over to Mandy who was sitting on the couch. Oh fuck. He totally spaced letting her know not to come over. He knew he should have checked his phone. “I’m fine i didn’t…”

 

“And where the hell is your phone?”

 

His sister invaded his jacket pocket pulling out his phone then shoving it in his hands. 

 

“Why do I even pay for that thing Ian if you’re just going to ignore my calls, my texts. Jesus Ian I was afraid..” she paused and took a deep breath trying to keep herself together. “You’re grounded Mr. That means straight home after school you understand?”

 

He furrowed his brow then looked over at Mickey who was staring at the door clearly feeling uncomfortable. “This is bullshit Fiona. You can’t do that. All I did was hang out at the park with Mickey. Why are you makin this such a big deal.”

 

“That’s all” Fiona scoffed. “For 3 hours Ian, plus you ignored your phone. You’re just a kid Ian, you don’t understand how wo..”

 

“No damn it” he yelled throwing his backpack on the floor. “I’m not a fuckin kid anymore Fiona! I’m in highschool and..and I have a fuckin boyfriend!”

 

“The fuck did you just say?” Mickey sat up from the couch and stared daggers at the boy in front of him. He did not just hear that.

 

“He said he has a boyfriend Mickey. You would know that if you were really his best friend.” Mandy elbowed her brother playfully. “I knew it.” He turned to his sister than to Ian then to Fiona. 

 

“Wait what?” Fiona said taken by surprise.

 

Ian rolled his eyes “Uh nothing god, just forget I said it.”

 

“Fuckin stupid” Mickey mumbled  then grabbed his sister’s hand. “Let’s go.”

 

Mandy pulled out of her brothers grasp. “I can walk home myself Mickey, I’m not a kid anymore either.”

 

“Fuck it” he said then turned around and walked out the door.

 

“Wow Ian, Mickey sure seems upset you didn’t tell him first.”

 

“Go home Mandy” he shouted running up the stairs feeling his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. “Just everyone leave me alone!”

****

 

He was sorting through his legos when his phone rang. He thought it would be Ian so he ignored it, then it rang again. He grabbed the phone and suddenly all the air was sucked out of the room. He had to answer it, i mean why wouldn’t he.

 

_ “Hey Fiona. Everything OK?”  _ He couldn’t breath, this was it. This was Fiona calling him a pedophile and cops showing up at his door.  

 

_ “I needed to talk to you about what Ian said.” _

 

Breath..breath...fuckin breath.  _ “What’s up?” _

 

_ “You guys are really close. Everyone knows you’re the best friend, so lets not pretend.” _

 

He swallowed trying not to choke  _ “ OK….” _

 

_ “If you knew he was seein someone you would tell me right? I mean he’s just a kid and I don’t think he can handle a relationship” _

 

_ “Sure no I get it, course I would tell you. I had no clue, never said shit to me.” _

 

_ “I just worry about him you know? He’s my baby brother and now he’s got a boyfriend. I..I didn’t even know he was gay. Not that I care but...do you think he’s...you know?” _

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “Done stuff?” _

 

He ran his hand down his face. This was really happening. He actually liked Fiona and hated lying to her...maybe he could feel out her reaction.

 

_ “Na...I mean..who fuckin knows. It’s 2017 Fi, shits different now.” _

 

_ “He’s 14 Mickey.” _

 

_ “Yup…..” _

 

_ “Maybe I should just go talk to him about it. If he’s gonna be...you know, I’d rather know than not.” _

 

His blood ran cold. “ _ I don’t think that’s a good idea, give him some space and let him come to you when he’s ready.” _

 

_ “No. I’ve put him off for too long and this is my fault. You’re a good friend Mickey. Thank you.” _

 

_ “Sure thing”  _ he hung up his phone and threw it at his bed. 

 

“Fuck!”

 

******

 

He sat there listening to his sister go on and on about how she loved him and wished he would talk with her. Whatever! If she cared so much she would be around more, now that he was older she was always gone. He didn’t need a sitter anymore so he was by himself unless Mickey came by or he went over there. So how can she sit here and be upset she didn’t know about what was going on in his life.

 

“When did you know. I mean..how long?” Fiona crossed her leg atop the other and leaned back on her arms to look at her brother. “I just don’t understand how you could know somethin like that so early.”

 

“Well I do know Fioan. I’m gay alright. Just please, can we talk about this later.” He reached for his phone but his sister grabbed it.

 

“No Ian! We’re talkin about it now.”

 

Ugh! “Fine” he sighed. “I’ve known for a while now ok. I just don’t find girls attractive, never really have.”

 

“There’s nothin wrong with that sweetface” Fiona said reaching out and smoothing her thumb over her brothers cheek. “Have you..”

 

“Jesus Fi” he huffed pushing his sister's hand away. “Can we skip this part please..”

 

“So you have..”

 

“What? I’m not…ugh” he rolled his eyes and fell back on the bed with an exasperated sigh. Could he just sink into the mattress, turn invisible anything other than have ‘the talk’ with his big sister.

 

“Ok Ok...we don’t have to talk about it just…” she stood up from the bed and tossed Ian his phone. “Just be careful please.”

 

Ian nodded wordlessly.

 

“Oh and you’re grounded for a week”

 

“What? That’s no fair. You can’t..”

 

Fiona shrugged her shoulders “I love you” she said before shutting the door.

 

Ian reached for his phone and unlocked it. Nothing. He’d been calling and texting mickey for the last two hours but he was ignoring him. 

 

“UGHHHHHH” he shouted. He needed a drink or a fuckin joint neither were in this house. Luckily his boyfriend kept a nice supply in their little hangout spot.

 

Over the years they accumulated quite a bit of stuff transforming the once box filled, dingy cobwebbed seller into quite the comfortable escape. Mm. A joint and some music and a beer. Technically he wasn’t leaving the house so…

 

He walked over to his window, he’d become a pro at this. He opened it then stepped out onto the roof walking around to back of the house. He stepped down onto the rail of the backstairs careful to avoid the kitchen window. He jumped from the rail onto the stairs then ran down them into the backyard. He walked over to the wooden doors with misleading chain wrapped around the handles and lifted them open.

 

**

Mickey saw the light creep in to the dark room and the sound of feet coming down the stairs. He took a drag of his cigarette and turned to see his boyfriend standing there. “Fuckin took you long enough.” He blew the smoke from his nose then turned and stood up from the bean bag he was sitting on. “You had me fooled Gallagher” he laughed darkly. He was so pissed off, Ian  could have ruined everything. That fairytale in his mind could have been destroyed with just a few words. “You know, I actually thought maybe you were capable of keepin your mouth shut for once, but I was wrong. You’re too fuckin stupid to do that one simple thing.”

 

“What the fuck are you talkin about Mick? I didn’t say it was you” Ian sighed deeply. His boyfriend always makes everything into such a big deal. So what his family knows he has a boyfriend. They don’t know who and he didn’t plan on telling them. Not when Mickey makes it such a big deal. “I don’t get why you’re so fuckin pissed”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes “Are you serious Ian? You told mine and your sister that you have a fuckin  boyfriend. You don’t see how that was stupid? What if Fiona asked you who it was or how you met huh? What then?” Ian glanced to the side folding his arms. Exactly. “That’s what I thought. Jesus Ian, is it really that fuckin hard for you to just shut the fuck up? I don’t ask much, just that and you can’t even do it!” he yelled.

 

“So what if they knew!” He shouted back at his boyfriend. “I’m 14 now it shouldn’t fuckin matter. The only one who actually gives a shit about it being a secret is you” 

 

“You’re right! For once you’re sayin shit that isn’t complete fuckin bullshit.” He dropped his cigarette and crushed it under his shoe before approaching his boyfriend. “I” he pointed to himself “ give a shit. I actually want to be with you Gallagher and I’m not gonna let you” he poked his boyfriend in the chest. “Or anyone else fuckin ruin it. Understand? When I tell you to keep shit a secret it’s for a fuckin reason!” He pushed Ian up against the wall. “Do you think I tell you this shit for fun? You think I secretly want you to blab to the whole fuckin world we’re together so I tell you over and over again not to? You really that fuckin stupid?”

 

“Stop callin me stupid Mickey” he said stepping away from the wall making Mickey take a step back. “I’m not fuckin stupid. You’re just fuckin paranoid. How do you know this would be over if people knew” he asked putting his hands on his hips. “You don’t. I give a shit if we are together too, but there’s a good chance no one else would give a shit.” 

 

He pushed Ian back against the wall and leaned in so there faces were touching. “Don’t you pretend like you know better than me cause you fuckin don’t. Like you said you’re 14 Ian. You’re a goddamn kid!” he yelled.  “I’m the fuckin adult. I know what’s best, I always will, not you.” He was surprised Ian had so much to say. More and more when they argued about things his boyfriend was getting the upper hand. Not this time though, he needed Ian to understand he fucked up so he could make sure he never did it again. Kid didn’t understand after all this time. What if Mandy guessed? What if she guesses? He was almost 18, he could go to fuckin jail! Ian just needed to listen to him like he used to and stop questioning what he had to say. He needed his control back because right now it felt like he had none. Everything he wanted in life was standing in front of him but it could easily be torn away because of stupid shit like today. “You coulda ruined everything Ian you know that?” He backed away from the wall. “Everything, New York, our dream house...fuckin gone all of it.” He crossed his arms. “I guess it’s my fault though. Shoulda known this shit wouldn’t last forever. Shoulda known better than to trust a stupid fuckin kid.” With that he walked back over to his bean bag and plopped down. “Fuck it. Go tell whoever you fuckin want. You clearly don’t love me enough to care what happens so do whatever.” He grabbed a joint from the ashtray on the box in front of him and lit it up taking in a deep drag. Ian was still standing there against the wall. He looked up and pointed up the stairs. “Get the fuck out! I don’t want you here” he said darkly then took another drag from his joint. 

 

Ian could feel his eyes prickle. He didn’t like when Mickey was like this. He had to know he loves him. He always has since he was 12. “Miick” he semi-whined. He walked over to him and dropped down to his knees sitting back on them. “Don’t say that stuff. You know I want to be with you. I love you” he rested his forehead on his boyfriend’s upper arm. “But it’s not a big deal ok. I promise. Mandy’s not gonna guess” he raise his head staring at the older boy earnestly. “Just stop please don’t make me go away”

 

“You don’t even know what love is” he said shrugging Ian off his arm. “You say you love me but then you argue with me and you tell people our fuckin business when I tell you not to.” He took a drag of his joint and leaned back to stare at his sad boyfriend. Good. He should be fuckin sad. He was sad, more pissed really but only because he couldn’t live without Ian in his life. Nothing would ever be the same if he lost him. “I don’t give a fuck what you do Ian. Listen, don’t fuckin listen, I don’t care. Just fuck off” he snapped. He knew the more he told Ian to leave the more the boy would want to stay. This right here was all he had control over. He could make Ian feel whatever he wanted. He loved him but he needed that little bit of control like he needed air. “Go talk boys with Mandy or some shit” he hissed. 

 

“Stop I’m not gonna go” he sniffled. He’s not gonna cry. He crawled into Mickey’s lap straddling him so they were facing each other. He can’t push him away now. “I fuckin know what love is. I love you Mickey. I didn’t know it was gonna make you so angry” he wrapped his arms around his neck. “I wasn’t tryin to make you mad” he leaned forward pressing their lips together. Mickey needed to believe he loved him. He could show him. 

 

“Mm” he sighed letting his boyfriend kiss him. God he really did love the kid, it was scary. He’d never felt so many emotions at once like he did with Ian. Silk lips sucked at his hungerly and he reached out and ran his hands down Ian’s back until they were cupping his ass. Fuck he was perfect. Everything he could ever want and then some. He couldn’t lose him ever. Ian was stupid for putting them in that position. It could have gone differently and then it would all be over, it would all just fall apart! “No” he sighed pulling back from the kiss. “Don’t do that shit.” He shoved Ian hard causing him to fall from his lap and onto the floor. “You think I’m just gonna forget everything cause you’re fuckin cute. Think again Ian. Just leave me alone, I told you I don’t want you here.” Lies, lies all lies but it was working. “So GO AWAY!” 

 

“Noooo” he cried breaking down. He didn’t want to go. He needs Mickey. “I won’t..I’m not goiiin” he pushed his palms into his eyes willing the tears to stop but they weren’t listening. Mickey’s trying to break up with him. If he makes him leave then that’s it. It will be over and it’d be all his fault. 

 

“Stop fuckin cryin” he yelled standing up. “It’s not fuckin cute. Doesn’t make me automatically feel sorry for you or make me take back everything I said. It never has. Seems like you woulda learned that by now but I guess fuckin not. Cryin only makes you look like a baby Ian. Makes sense though since you act like one.”

 

He couldn’t control himself anymore. Tears were spilling out of his eyes and streaming down his cheeks. He probably does look like a baby. He wants to stop, pull himself together but the thought of losing Mickey is too much. “I..I” he coughed wiping at his face. “Pleease I’m s.sorry. Don’t leeaave me” he fell forward burying his face into the beanbag sobbing. 

 

His first instinct was to keep breaking down his crying boyfriend, that’s how angry he was but he was lying. When Ian cried it went straight to his heart and made him want to give him the world to stop it. He thought maybe Ian knew that which is why he yelled at him, that and he was still really mad but as he stood there and heard the soft sobs fill the room he couldn’t handle it. “Fuck” he sighed rubbing his nose with his knuckle. He walked over to where Ian was crying face down in the bean bag. “Get up” he said softly. 

 

He almost wanted to stay down there. He worried what might happened when he gets up. He doesn’t feel like getting yelled at anymore. He stood up slowly and kept his eyes glued to the floor. He wasn’t freaking out anymore but silent tears were sliding down his face. He didn’t want to be a baby in front of his boyfriend. He doesn’t need more fuel for his fire. He swiped a tear as his breath hitched one last time. 

 

“Stop” he said reaching out and wrapping his arms around Ian. “Hey look at me” he lifted Ian’s head so he can look into his sad green eyes. “I love you freckles ok. I love you so much I don’t…” ugh he sounded like such a girl right now. “I can’t lose you Ian ever do you understand?” 

 

He stared into Mickey eyes and nodded his head slowly. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend tightly tucking his face into neck. “I’m sorry” He said kissing his throat softly. He does know how he feels cause he feels the same way. He can’t lose Mickey. “I love you” he whispered.  

 

He ran his fingers through Ian hair tenderly “I didn’t mean it you know. You’re not stupid or a baby or any of that shit. You’re perfect ok. C’mere” He picked up Ian and the boy wrapped his legs around him. He walked over to air mattress they had set up and bent over setting Ian down. The boy bounced and let out a small laugh. He knelt down on the bed and pushed his boyfriend back climbing on top of him. “Don’t do it again” he reached down and pulled of his shirt throwing it behind him then pushed up Ian’s shirt and started kissing his stomach “i don’t like yelling at you.” 

 

“I’m sorry. I already said it” he whined. Why won’t his boyfriend just drop it. “Mmm..I won’t do it again” he sighed softly. “I don’t wanna lose you” he felt a lump in his throat. “I can’t” 

 

‘I know baby” he said lying down behind Ian and pulling him securely into his chest. He wiped away a stray tear from his boyfriends cheek then planted a soft kiss. “I’m not gonna lose you either.”

  
  



	13. Save It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey starts college and Ian starts to have doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. This chapter took forever lol i find myself think of other chapters as I write so it just took on a life if its own. Only two more chapters left xoxo

**Ian is a Sophomore and Mickey is a College Freshman**

 

“I don't like it Mick” Ian sat down on the full sized bed and looked around the room. “I don’t get why you have to stay here.”

 

Mickey laughed at his sulking boyfriend then walked over and sat down on the bed beside him. “Cause Gallagher, this is the whole package. It includes tuition and housing. Plus..” he grabbed Ians hand and wrapped his arm around him turning the boy towards him. “This is my dream. I’m gonna be an architect. So what if it means i gotta stay here? It’s not like i’m leavin the state.”

 

Ian scoffed “Not yet..”

 

“You know I’d never leave without you.”

 

Are you serious? Ian sprang up from the bed “You did this without me Mickey. I have to take the train 45 minutes just to see you and I can’t even stay because you have a fucking roommate.” He pointed to the other side of the room where someone had already moved in and made themselves at home.

 

“Ian..”

 

“No let me finish” Ian held up his hand. Mickey needed to understand how big of a deal this was. 5 years! That’s how long it would be before he graduated. “I’m happy for you Mick. I really am but what about me?”

 

Mickey stood up and walked over to his boyfriend grabbing his chin “What about you hmm?” He kissed pouting pink lips and scanned Ian’s eyes for any deeper meaning behind this conversation. It was cute how much he was going to miss him. “I love you. I’m not gonna give this up and I’m not gonna give you up. We can do it” He smoothed his thumb over Ian’s cheek. 

 

He reached out and grabbed Mickey’s hand pulling it from his face. “I just want us to be together, to stop hiding.” That’s all their relationship was. One big secret. For as long as he could remember and he was over it.  “What about Mandy?”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and stepped backwards “What about Mandy Ian?”

 

“She’s dating Justin.”

 

“And..”

 

“Seriously Mickey! He’s a Senior. He’s 18 like you.”

 

He knew where this was going. It was really the only thing they fought about but they fought about it often. “Good for him.”

 

“Ugh jesus Mick. They’re together, like us. He came over with her last night for pizza and videogames. Why can’t we…”

 

“If you’re gonna bring this up again then just fuckin go. I’m not gonna waste more time explaining it to you.” Mickey walked over to his bed and lied down.

 

Ian folded his arms and let out a small laugh laced with resentment. He knew what Mickey was afraid of. He was almost 15, he’d been through enough seminars about stranger danger, and not taking candy from men in shady vans. Mickey wasn’t like that though, he never was. He didn’t make him do anything and the time things got out of hand they were already together. He knew now it wasn’t normal for him to have sex when he did but he didn’t care because it gave him the best relationship of his life and he didn’t want to keep it a secret. He wanted to tell the world. “Come on Mick.” He walked over to the bed and shoved Mickey’s legs over so he could sit down. “When are you going to stop treating me like I’m fucking stupid huh? I not a little kid anymore.”

 

“Stop actin like one then.”

 

“You’re just scared. Scared of what people will say when they find out we’re together.”

 

Mickey sat up and smacked his head sarcastically “Fuckin duh Ian. Jesus man. I’ve been tellin you that shit for years. People won't fuckin get it, so drop it.”

 

Ian turned and climbed on top of his boyfriend staring down into blue eyes lit with anger. “Why?”

 

“They just won’t.”

 

“Really Mick?” Ian laughed then sat back on his knees staring at the older boy. “I’m almost 15. You’re 18. We’ve been together since I was..”

 

“Ian don’t..”

 

“I know you think it was wrong what happened but...”

 

“Stop..I don’t want to hear it.” Now that he was older it made him almost cringe to think about the fact that he slept with Ian so young. Almost. He was a horny teenager but he wouldn’t have tried anything if he didn’t like the kid too and just like he predicted like turned to love before he could shut it down. Ian’s lips and soft skin wrapped around him like a blanket on his heart and he would do it all over again. That didn’t make it right though and people wouldn’t care about the fact that they were planning a life together no. They would focus on the fact that he took advantage of someone younger than him. Feelings or not, that is what he did.

 

Ian leaned down and pressed a kiss against Mickey’s lips as he saw the anger leave his face and turn to something he hadn’t seen in a long time. It was a mixture of sadness and guilt. “Since I was 11,” he said softly against his boyfriend's lips. Mickey started to push him off. “No stop it!” He put his hand firmly on his boyfriend's chest “ We’ve been together 3 maybe 3½ years and I love you. don’t care how it happened, I don’t care that it was unconventional so why do you care what anyone else fucking thinks?”

 

Mickey sighed. “Because Ian, we should’ve of never hooked up to begin with, and people aren’t gonna understand why we did.”

 

“We can tell them we just started seeing each other. Like Mandy and Justin.”

 

“No one’s gonna believe that shit Ian. They’ll put it together. We gotta just wait please..” he reached up and ran his hand through Ian’s hair. “For me?”

 

“I’m tired of waiting. I just…” Ian turned his head into his boyfriends touch and closed his eyes.  He just wanted Mickey. That’s all he ever wanted. “I don’t wanna be your dirty little secret anymore Mickey, I’m tired of you hiding that we’re together.”

 

His first instinct was to tell Ian to shut up. To make him just stop talking but his boyfriend had changed. He was taller than him now as he stared down into his eyes. When did that happen? Ian was also more assertive and liked to argue. He used to be able to shut him down and get his way no matter what, now they could go around and around until one of them just gave up. He was relentless which only made Ian fight harder. Now he had another method. He would change the subject, sometimes Ian would follow or maybe a conversation would escalate into a fight. He didn’t know which would happen right now but he did know he wasn’t about have this talk again. “Can we not do this now?” He let go of Ian’s face and pushed him off gently scooting from under him. He stood up from the bed and leaned against the dresser. “This is supposed to be a fun day Ian. Look around” He gestured around the room. “I’m in college. Fuckin college! Me.” He felt a smile across his lips as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Pot smokin, gun shootin Mickey fuckin Milkovich. I made it.”

 

Ian’s body softened at his boyfriends words. When Mickey told he was awarded the scholarship he couldn’t believe it. Mr. Scott was Mickey's favorite teacher for a reason. He saw something special in Mickey that he thought only he could see..talent and endless potential. His boyfriend had done so much extra credit work in his art class his teacher nominated him and he won. Now Mickey was here in school funded housing for the School of Art Institute of Chicago. He was going for his Bachelor in Architecture and landscape design. A 5-year degree. 

He climbed off the bed and walked around to where Mickey was standing. He snatched the cigarette dangling from between his lips. “Yea you did Mick. You earned this.” He leaned his back against the dresser beside his boyfriend and took a drag from the cigarette. “You worked your ass off and now you’re gonna be that famous architect who build skyscrapers just like you wanted” he lowered his gaze to the side trying to push away the next few words but he couldn’t hold his tongue. “You made it...but will we?”

 

“Iaaan” Mickey groaned stepping in front of the younger boy and pressing his body against him. “Yes” he said softly leaning up and kissing under Ian’s jaw. “ but that’s only If I don’t kill you for askin stupid shit like that.”

 

Ian laughed and shoved Mickey away playfully “I’d kill you first.”

 

“Oh yea tough guy?”  Mickey grabbed the cigarette from Ian’s hand and snuffed it out in his open Pepsi can. He was done with it anyways. He wrapped his arms around Ian and lifted him up. Ian was taller, stronger than he used to be but he was older. He would always be able to lift up Ian. “What then? Run away with my lego collection?”

 

“That was a thought.”

 

“Shut the fuck up” he laughed then closed the distance between them. Ians hands raked through his hair as his hands squeezed his ass. He could feel his dick pressing longingly against the fabric of his jeans. “Yea” he hummed setting Ian down. He reached for his jeans and started to undo the zipper when he heard a knock on the door. “Fuck” he mouthed silently, removing his hands to straighten his hair. Once he was certain he looked presentable he walked over and opened up the door. “Can I help you?” His eyes trailed down  the man standing in the hallway.

 

“My names Travis Trevino. I’m the Resident Assistant for this housing location and your roommate” The man reached out and pulled Mickey into a firm embrace before patting him on the back. “This was the last room available and they normally don’t allow residents to pair up but you must know some good people.”

 

Ian watched as the man walked inside the room. He was maybe 24/25 with sparkling honey brown eyes and jet black hair styled in a simple short cut. Mickey followed this Travis person inside shutting the door.

 

“I wanted you to do a tour of the school before classes start on Monday.” Travis turned to him. “You’re more than welcome to join us….”

 

“Ian” he reached out his hand. “I’m Mickey’s..”

 

“Friend.” Mickey interrupted. “We uh grew up together. He’s my sister best friend.”

 

“Well than Ian. Nice to meet you.” Travis reached a hand out and he reluctantly shook it. Fuck even his hand was perfect, soft yet capable of a firm grip. The man turned back to Mickey and draped an arm over his shoulder “Shall we go?”

 

“Uh yea.” 

 

He could see Mickey’s eyes taking in the athletic body and the strong arm over his shoulder and felt a weird feeling come over him. He wanted to rush over, rip Travis away and press his boyfriends into the wall with his lips but he couldn’t. That would be a crazy, jealous thing to do and he was neither...Instead he followed behind the pair as they wandered down the hall to the elevator. The school was only a block away but watching Mickey smile as Tavis gestured in the air with his free hand that wasn’t groping his boyfriend made a block feel like 20.

 

It was nice to see Mickey smile. Travis showed him the mess hall and the library. They walked across to the registrar's office where his boyfriend was given his schedule and his books. They were touring the last lecture hall when he realized yea...maybe he was jealous. Mickey was absorbed in every little word coming from Travis mouth, with his perfect teeth and plump lips. Guy could be a fucking model. That guy was going to be living with Mickey. That fucking brown eyed adonis was going to see his boyfriend, talk to him, fuck from the looks of it maybe even touch him more than he would. He couldn’t do it. Travis was all hands and he did not like it. He couldn’t directly say they were together but that didn’t mean he had to watch this guy fawn over what was his.

 

“So Travis” He walked right between the pair causing the older man to place his hands in his hoodie pocket. He smiled over at Mickey now that he was between them feeling a sense of accomplishment. “What are you studying here? Micks going for his Bachelors how bout you?”

 

“Actually I originally wanted to become an art teacher so I was studing Art Education.”

“And..”

 

Travis raised a brow at his candor. “Well Ian, things just took a different turn.” They approached another room but this one was decorated and had a very arts and crafty feel. At the front of the class was a slender women with her blond hair in a messy bun and black cateye glasses. The women saw them standing there and rushed towards the door.

 

“Traviiis!” The women wrapped her arms around the man and pressed a kiss into his lips. “I thought you had Freshman Orientation.”

 

“That was yesterday babe. I just have one tour left” Travis turned to Mickey. “Carol this is my new roomie Mickey Milkovich and this is his friend Ian…”

 

“Gallagher” he said with way too much enthusiasm. “Ian Gallagher. Nice to meet you Carol.”

 

“Wonderful to meet you guys too. Keep an eye on this one Mickey. He has an innocent face but he nothin but trouble.” Carol booped the man on the nose.

 

“Will do” MIckey replied holding back his laughter. Carol was so perky it was comical. The women flashed him a smile that looked like it could split her face then returned her attention back to his roomate.

 

“I’ll see you at 5 Mr. trevino and not one second later.” With that the women turned around and headed back into her class.

 

“That ball of light” travis said turning to him. “That women is why I changed my major. She is a T.A in art therapy. After spending my free period sitting in on her class to find a way to talk to her..”

 

“Wait” MIckey interrupted. “You took a class that wasn’t yours just so you could talk to her?”

 

Travis shrugged his shoulders “I’d do it again too. True love Mickey. She changed my perception, makes me a better person. I’m telling you if you find someone like that don’t let go.”

 

Mickey glanced over at Ian who was staring off across the courtyard. “Ahem” he cleared his throat trying to shake away the sappy feeling consuming him. He scratched at the back of his neck wanting more than anything to walk over and grab Ian and pull him into a deep kiss to know he was that person. He knew it already though, he had too. “For sure man.” He reached for his cigarettes but was stopped. 

 

“No smoking on Campus or in the resident housing.”

 

“Fuuuck” he groaned rolling eyes. “You gotta be kiddin?”

 

“Nope not kidding at all, they will issue disciplinary action if your caught.”

 

“You telling me I can’t smoke anywhere?”

 

“I said it’s not allowed” Travis smirked at him “Didn’t say people don’t do it. Just don’t advertise and keep the room smelling fresh and clean please.”

 

“Yea ok.”

 

Ian let out a long sigh. He just wanted to spend some alone time with his boyfriend before he had to take the 45 minute train ride home. Even though it was the weekend and he should be spending the whole thing with Mickey. “Are we done here or is there more because I got a train to catch.”

 

“Relax Gallagher.”

 

“No Mickey, I have to leave in like 2 hours. This is bullshit and you know it!” Just like that he was annoyed again. He turned and started to walk away. He kept his eyes glued forward and walked along the courtyard trying his best to not breakdown and walk back. 

 

“It’s all good we’re done here. You two go do your thing. Just make sure you look over your supply list and get yourself whatever’s missing before Monday.” Travis pulled out his phone to check a message then looked back at him “ And it looks like I have another tour so I’ll see you tonight Mickey.” 

 

“Right on man” he said with a wave then walked briskly down the sidewalk to catch up with his wondering boyfriend. Fuck kid could move. Now that he was taller and lanky he covered more distance. He looked around and didn't see him anywhere in the courtyard. “Damn it Ian” he let out a deep sigh then pulled out his phone.

 

_ Mick (5:30pm) where r u? _

 

Nothing. He sat down on a bench and hit the call button.

 

_ You’ve reached Ian, you know what to do _

 

Ugh! “ _ Come on baby answer the phone? Don’t be like this. I’m done, we can kick it. Call me.” _

 

He stood there eagerly waiting for his phone to ring but nothing. 

 

_ Mick (5:41) Answer the fuckin phone _

 

Nothing.

 

“Fuckin stupid mother fucker” he shouted kicking at the grass. He called two more times but his messages went straight to voicemail. Ian was ignoring him, it was obvious. He could stand around like a bitch and try to get Ian to answer him to come back to him or...he could just go home. His new home at the student housing. That’s what he would do. Ian was pissed and that was certainly putting a damper on his day but he was here. He was a college freshman, not a convict or a drug dealer like so many judged was how he would end up. He slipped his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and started down the street to his dorm.

 

***

 

Ian sat on the steps to the resident building playing with loose fragments of cement that had chipped away. What was he even doing anymore. Why was he wasting his time? Mickey had no intention of telling people, not for a long time. That meant spending the rest of highschool with an invisible boyfriend. The guy who never went out on double dates to the movies or the club. He would be Mandy and Justin's third wheel because she would feel sorry he was alone. It meant no date to the dance, to any dance. It wasn’t fair! He was about to leave when he saw Mickey walking down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette.

 

“Gallagher” Mickey called to his boyfriend. Ian was sitting on his steps but he looked like he was over it. He didn’t blame him but he could fix it. “Where you goin, we still got another hour.”

 

“I’m good Mick. I should get outta here. I got homework.”

 

“Ian don’t…”

 

“No it’s fine” Ian stood up from the ground and shrugged his shoulders. “You should go over your courses and unpack.” He started to walk away when Mickey grabbed his arm. “Mickey stop.”

“No” Mickey replied stepping closer to the boy. “You’re not gonna walk away from me Ian. I love you.”

 

“Do you? Because you act like you don’t even know me half the time.”

 

Mickey glanced down to the ground. Ian was not breaking up with him, not today. Not ever. He had to bring him back. “But I do know you.” He pulled Ian closer then let go of his hand. “I know your favorite color is blue and that you secretly love the Ninja Turtles still even though you got rid off your stuff to impress your brother.”

 

“Mickey..” Ian pulled his hand back and crossed his arms. “That’s not what I mean.”

 

He wasn’t about to give up. “Well I know that you want to be a firefighter. Not just because you want to save people but secretly you think the uniform would make you look hot..”

 

Ian let out a small laugh. “We both know it would.”

 

Mickey looked around the crowded street. No one knew them here so fuck it right? Ian was worth any glances they would get. He leaned up and kissed behind Ian’s ear. “I know you like when I do this” he whispered tugging Ian’s earlobe between his teeth.

 

“Mm” he sighed grabbing Mickey’s waist. His boyfriend's breath was hot against his skin making him feel tingly all over. “Stop..” he pushed at Mickey with the faintest bit of effort.

 

“Why?” He started to kiss Ian’s jaw as he walked the back against the side of the building away from prying eyes. “I know you like this” He started to inch his fingers under Ian’s jeans.

 

“Not here” he panted feeling like his heart would burst from the adrenaline of the moment. They were in public and Mickey didn’t seem to care. “What if people see us?”

 

“We don’t know any of these assholes baby” he purred in Ian’s ear as his hand wrapped around his smooth shaft. “Who cares if they see us.” He didn't care if people knew he was gay. He came out to his brothers when they found his porn collection. It was easy and no one treated him different. This wasn’t his block though. No one would recognize them, know who they were. Unless you got up close and personal Ian didn’t seem like he was in highschool. “Let me love you.”

 

Fuck..Mickey’s voice was smooth like silk. His touch washed away every negative thought that had plagued his mind. He looked down at his boyfriend meeting his blue eyes as the older boy started to sink to the ground. “Mick stop.” He ran his hand through black hair.

 

“Jesus christ Ian why?” Mickey huffed standing up and crossing his arms. He was tryng to be fuckin spontanious, romantic. Tryin to show Ian he fuckin loved him so what was the big deal? 

 

Ian shifted from foot to foot at the change in his boyfriends voice and posture. Mickey raised his brow expectantly.

“I just..there’s a perfectly good bed inside and..”

 

Mickey felt a smile replace the irritated from pasted on and reached for Ian’s hand.  “Come on.”

 

The next thing he knew he was following Mickey up the stairs and into his apartment.

 

***

 

He curled his fingers over Mickey’s as they laid in bed. An hour had come and gone but he didn’t care. Mike was taking them all out to a fancy restaurant for his Engagement dinner. He and Fiona had been engaged for about 4 months but no one knew. Just him. He saw the ring in his sisters room and confronted her about it. She said until they figured it out with work since he was technically her boss they wanted to keep it under wraps. Tonight was the official announcement kind of a big tadoo. He would just meet them at the restaurant he didn’t need to be there for the speeches and stupid stories of their love. He had his own. He turned around and kissed Mickey’s head before kissing down his jaw and capturing his lips.  They could make this work.

 

****

 

**3 weeks later**

 

He walked around the classroom pushing in chairs and gathering up loose material. He liked being a T.A. When Mr. Scott told him it was a condition of the scholarship he jumped at the opportunity. He wasn’t big on the students but it was pretty fuckin cool to watch people learn and to be a part of that process. He could understand why Travis wanted to be a teacher. It wasn’t for him though, assisting sure but he was a builder, and New York was endgame.

 

There was another reason he liked being a T.A and that was Ian. It had been several weeks since he started college and in that time he and Ian only a few hours here and there to themselves. Either Travis would be there or he would have classes. He could tell it was getting to Ian but he was always able to make him forget for the most part.

 

Working with Mr. Scott two days a week allowed him to catch Ian in the halls between classes or maybe if he planned ahead on his lunch. They were still stolen moments but he took them without question. Any time was better than no time. 

 

He finshed putting away the supplies and writing the lesson plan on the whiteboard before grabbing his jacket. He told his mentor that he was taking 15 and Mr. Scott happily dismissed him. He left the classroom and wandered down the crowded hall pulling out his phone. He was in the middle of texting Ian when he heard his voice echo across the hall.

 

“I’m just sayin if you’re a soprano be a soprano. Luke is not meant for tenor.”

 

“I know! Ms. Dawson likes his dad. I’m 100 that’s why he got the part, plus he’s got Danny’s black hair.”

 

“So Ian could dye his hair for the part. I can see it now” Nick ran his hands down Ian’s arms “leather jacket and all that swagger. It would suit you.”

 

Ian laughed at the thought. He liked his red hair thank you. Plus he wasn’t as good a singer. ”Whatever sidekick number 4 is just fine. Least I was cast.”

 

“Yea as Putzie!” the girl laughed.

 

“Says you Rizzo. You gotta kiss this guy” Ian pointed to Nick.

 

“What?” Nick smiled at the brunette “A hickey from Kenickie like a hallmark card.” Ian shoved his friend into the locker then wrapped his arm around Suzanne. “He takes his acting very seriously” he said with a grin. Nick ran up beside him and draped his arm over his shoulder. “This is gonna be fun. The first all school play.”

 

“Yea it’s fuckin sweet” Ian replied as they walked outside.

 

He watched as his boyfriend walked out the exit with the brunette girl on his arm and a tall rather good looking blonde boy. He recognized that guy from somewhere…..Fiddler on the Roof. That was it. He was in the drama club. They did that stupid muscle last year and he played Motel. That was a Junior production so that would make this guy a senior. What was he doin with a bunch of Sophomores and why the fuck was he touchin his boyfriend? More importantly why was Ian lettin him?

 

He walked out the door and over to his usual spot. He lit up his cigarette and stared across the parking lot to where Ian and his friends were standing. They were laughing and talking animatedly moving hands in the air. He looked happy but this Drama club kid was standing too close and his hands were all over Ian, pushing shoving, hugging. The brunette waved goodbye and walked away after just a few minutes leaving just this tool and his boyfriend. He watched as Ian lit up a second cigarette but this time passed it back and forth with the senior. He could feel the jealousy in the pit of his stomach, who the fuck was this guy. They were way WAY to fuckin friendly for his comfort. After about 5 more minutes the Senior leaned down and held up Ian’s binder ripping out a piece of paper. He couldn’t tell but it looked like he wrote something down then handed it back to Ian before waving goodbye and walking inside. Ian laughed and folded up the paper sticking it in his back pocket. Oh fuck no. He tossed his cigarette to the ground and stalked across the parking lot.

 

“The fuck is wrong with you” he shouted shoving his boyfriend against the fence.

 

“Mickey? When did you.. What are even talking about?”

 

He sucked his bottom lip “Don’t play stupid Ian I saw you with that guy. He was all over you.”

 

“Don’t call me stupid!”

 

“Then answer my fuckin question.”

 

Ian rolled his eyes and put his hand out “ You need to back up.”

 

“No” Mickey said stepping closer so that their noses were almost touching “what are you doin Gallagher? Let me see that paper.”

 

“BACK.UP!” Ian shoved his boyfriend out of his face.“Jesus Mick what the fuck is wrong with you? You’re the one who decided to come over here making assumptions like an asshole. I told you I’m in Drama class. That is Nick. He’s my friend. That’s it.”

 

“Fuckin friend. Really Ian? You think I’m stupid now?  Looked a lot cosier than fuckin friends.”

 

Ian scoffed and took a step towards his boyfriend. “Do you even hear yourself, what you’re saying?”

 

“Stop changing the subject and fuckin answer me. You’re pissin me off.”

 

Ian chuckled darkly “Oh am I Mick? I’m pissing you off? What about me? You’re accusing me of fucking cheating.”

 

“Got plenty of time” Mickey hissed rubbing at his nose. “Not like I would find out right? I’m across town now.”

  
  
  


“Are you fucking kidding with this...” He turned in a small circle then stopped abruptly. “ You know what fine, maybe he does likes me.” He grabbed the paper from his pocket crumbling it into a ball and tossing it at Mickey. “Maybe he gave me his phone number and even asked me out.”

 

“Ian..”

 

“What MIck? You really think I’d say yes? Fuck you!” Ian grabbed his backpack swinging it over his shoulder. “Maybe I should have but unlike you I can actually acknowledge that I’m in a relationship.”

 

“What did you say to him?”

 

Ian took in a deep breath and licked his lips. “I told him I’m seein someone and guess what when he asked who know what I said hmm?”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing Mick! Fucking nothing. I laughed and shoved his number in my pocket because I can’t say fuckin anything. So don’t come over here pissed off people are up in my shit when you won’t do anything to stop it.” 

 

Mickey reached and touched his boyfriend’s cheek. “You know I love..”

 

“Save it Mickey.” Ian brushed his boyfriends hand away.  “I gotta go. I’m gonna be late for class.”

  
  



	14. Thinkin Out Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian has doubts about his relationship. Mickey is stuck in his ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck I know #SorryImLate lol. It's been crazy outside the computer screen. I really had a good time with this chapter, trying to bring more depth into the relationship. I hope you enjoy. Also I can't resist a chance for a good song, maybe i watch too many soap operas but it just enhances the moment so oops I did it again. The next chapter is the last one. This has been a fun ride. XOXO

 

 

“Ian..” He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss against his boyfriend's cheek.

 

“Mm no” Ian sighed.

 

“C’mon baby you gotta get up.” He reached out wrapping his arm around Ian’s torso. He pulled him onto his side so they were facing each other. “Wake up.”

 

“Fuuuck” Ian groaned rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He reached behind him blindly searching for his phone. His fingers met with the plastic case and he brought it to his face. It was 10:30pm. He got here at 6pm. He looked up at Mickey “Just lay down with me Mick.” He grabbed Mickey and pulled him down next to him, his long legs capturing Mickey and squeezing tightly. “Just sleep” he said softly as his eyes started to close again.

 

“Ian get up!” He pulled himself from the cocoon Ian made around him with his body. He was so warm and soft he wished he could lay there forever but he couldn’t. They both knew it. “Travis is gonna be here soon Gallagher” he huffed. “Get your skinny ass up”

 

“Ughhh damn it MIckey.” Ian rolled his eyes and quickly sat up untangling their bodies. Everytime. Every fucking time. He should be used to this by now but he wasn’t. A small part of him hoped that maybe Mickey would just get over it but each time he was proven wrong. He stood up from the bed, grabbed his backpack from the floor, and started shoving his things inside like his books and his charger.

 

“Hey” He walked over to where Ian was packing his things. “Don’t be upset with me Freckles” he curled his fingers over Ians shoulders nuzzling at his neck. Ian turned around and captured his mouth in a kiss.

 

“I’m not. Just tired is all” He dropped his bag and cupped Mickey’s face. “Miss waking up next to you Mick. I miss you.”

 

“I’m right here..”

 

Ian pulled back from the kiss trying to bite back his words knowing better than to argue. “Yea. Here” he gestured around the room.

 

“Ian..”

 

“No Mick it’s fine. I get it alright. You don’t have to tell me again. One day right?”

 

Great. Could they not argue about this once...ever. “You know why I..”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Ian took in a deep breath then leaned forward and kissed tight lips. “I love you Mick. Same time tomorrow?”

 

He glanced away at the words. Ian was making it sound like he was a scheduled part of his life rather than his boyfriend. Like he was too busy for the most important person in his life and too ashamed to make it any better. He was right, and that just made it so much worse. His course load was heavy. When he wasn’t in class he was studying and when he wasn’t studying he was with Ian. Usually 2 or 3 hours a day a few times a week. “I uh...ahem” he cleared his throat “I got that test Thursday and after tonight I..”

 

“You need to study. Got it.” Ian turned to walk away not knowing what to say but accepting that this was his relationship now.

 

“Ian wait..”

 

Ian raised his hand without turning around “Don’t Mick. Just…” he let out a deep breath. “Just text me when you have time.” He walked out the door closing it softly behind him careful not to alert the rest of MIckey's world to his presence.

 

He walked over to the elevator pushing the button for the ground floor. He hated this. It was like a permanent walk of shame. He’d see Mickey a few times a week, they’d fuck and then he was here. Waiting for the elevator so he could take the train home until the next time his phone went off saying his boyfriend wanted to see him. Things were already hard before having to date in secret but at least they had each other to make that secret worthwhile, now what did he have? A few hours every couple days…

 

**_Ding.._ **

 

The elevator went off and the door opened. He went to step inside lost in his pity part when he heard a familiar voice.

 

“Ian? What are you doing here?” Travis looked at his watch “It’s 10pm, shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”

 

Ian scoffed and leaned against the hallway wall. “Bed? Jesus man how young do I look? I don’t have a curfew.”

 

Travis nodded and let out a small laugh “My mistake…”

 

The man was looking at him with a raised brow and he knew he was second away from blowing it if he didn’t think of something. “Mick was helping me study” he blurted out. Smooth Ian. “Yea I uh..I have this huge math test and thought since he was so good with numbers he would be able to help.”

 

“Well that was nice of him.” Travis looked at his watch again. “You want me to call you an uber it’s pretty late to be taking the train..”

 

Ian pushed the button again eagerly. “Nope. I’m good. Just gonna go home, get some rest so I can crush this test.”

 

“Thanks to Mickey”

 

“Yup” the elevator dinged again and he’d never been so thankful to hear the sound. “Have a good night man.”

 

“Yoo too Ian.”

 

***

 

Ian left 10 minutes ago and he already missed him. So much in fact that in that in time he managed to slam 2 beers and chain smoke 2 cigarettes. He was going for 3, a nice odd number to fit the way he was feeling. He sat in the nook by the window with his face pressed against the screen as he blew smoke from a third cigarette into the night sky. This was the only way to smoke on the premise without making it super obvious. He went to take another drag when he heard the door open and close behind him.

 

“Guess who I ran into?”

 

Mickey turned to his roommate scanning his face but saw nothing that shouted red flag. “I’m guessin Ian.”

 

“Yep. Said you were helping him study.” Travis walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge popping the tab then made his way over to the nook where he was sitting. “That’s awfully nice of you.”

 

He drew in a deep breath then handed Travis his cigarette “Kid’s my sister’s best friend. Can’t have him flunking Bio and not graduatin or Mandy will kill me.”

 

“Bio?”

 

“Yea man. Kid sucks at Biology.” It was true. Ian was good at a lot of things but when it came to AP Bio he seemed unable to retain anything. He actually did help him study for about an hour, so he was thankful that was the excuse Ian came up with. “He’s got a big test tomorrow so we had to hit the books pretty hard as you could see.”

 

“Yea poor kid looked exhausted.”

 

He nodded his head and took a sip of his beer. “He’ll be fine.”

 

“What about Math?”

 

Mickey shrugged “What about it?”

 

Travis took a drag from the cigarette then handed it back to him “He any good?”

 

He smiled “Any good? Kid’s a fuckin calculator. I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew more than me.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yea man. You should see his brother. Fucker’s about to graduate with a degree in Engineerin. Guy builds fuckin robots for fun. Wants to for a livin.”

 

“That’s a pretty intense field. What does Ian want to do?”

 

He leaned back against the wall taking another sip of his beer. “Dunno. He wants to be a firefighter or paramedic, not sure what he wants to do for college. He’s a sophomore so he’s got time to figure that shit out.”

 

“Oh I guessed senior since you mentioned graduating..”

 

“Yea well if he fails Bio, he’s gonna fall behind and that can fuck up the rest of highschool ya know?” He was genuinely concerned his boyfriend would fail, not just bio either. Ian’s grades had been slipping since the year started, he didn’t know what his problem was but Mandy made a point to mention it to him. She didn’t know they were dating but anyone with half a brain could tell he had influence over Ian.

 

“Hmph” Travis stood up and stretched his arms “So….Carol and I are thinkin about moving in together.”

 

“What? How? That’s shits against the rules.”

 

Travis wobbled his hand left to right bunching his face “Meh..not really. Technically I graduated.”

 

“But you’re a student..”

 

“Alumni/postgraduate. I got my degree, now I’m back to add on.”

 

“Uh huh, ok smart guy.”

 

“Trust me Mickey, it’s not a big deal. I just wanted you to know cause I’m gonna start spending the weekends at her place.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I thought as my roommate you’d wanna know my schedule” Travis rolled his eyes. “This way you’re not thinking I got murdered in a ditch when I don’t come home for 3 days.”

 

A light bulb went off in Mickey brain. The universe was giving him a hail mary. “Right” he nodded “So to clarify. You ain't gonna be here Friday, Saturday and Sunday?”

 

“I plan on staying Friday after my last class until Sunday evening.” Travis corrected. “Now that might change to Monday morning and I’ll let you know if it does.”

 

“Yea ok. Right on man, thanks for letting me know I guess.”

 

“Yup, I know how hard it is to get privacy with a roommate. Everyone needs that little bit of alone time.” Travis winked at him “Am I right?”

 

“Uh...right?”

 

“Well Mick..”

 

“Mickey”

 

“How about I just call you….”

 

“Mickey. Everyone one calls me that cause it’s my name man.”

 

Travis laughed “Fine then Mickey. This has been fun but I’m gonna hit the hay. Carol and I are trying to meet for breakfast before her first lecture.”

 

“Ain’t that at like 6:45am?”

 

“It is, so that means 4:30 or 5am. The coffee shop is open so it’s not too bad.”

 

“You’re crazy man.”

 

Travis laughed and headed to his side of the room “Crazy in love..”

 

“Yea yea fuckin whipped is more like it” he teased. He heard The bathroom door shut and pulled out his phone.

 

_MIck (11:28pm) How would you like to stay the night next weekend?_

  


Ian reached out to grab his phone from his nightstand. He’d barely gotten home and closed his eyes and already Mickey was texting him asking him stupid questions. He had Biology early as fuck and didn’t have time for this.

_Ian (11:30pm) It’s late MIck_

 

He scoffed at the reply. He expected a bit more excitement to be honest.

 

_Mick (11:32pm) I’m serious. You, me ...pizza_

 

What changed his mind? He was just kicking him out and now he wants to have a slumber party! Would they ever be on the same page?

_Ian (11:35pm) Jesus Mickey..you gotta figure out what you want from me_

 

_Ian (11:38pm) I can’t keep up with you anymore_

 

The fuck did that mean? Figure out what he wants..he knows what he wants. Ian. It’s always been fuckin Ian.

_MIck (11:45pm) I want you. Stop fuckin with me and say you’ll stay next weekend_

 

_Ian (11:47pm) Why?_

 

Ian was making this way more complicated than it needed to be. Fuck!

_Mick (11:50pm) because Gallagher. I asked you to. I want you to stay next weekend, and the weekend after that and so on. You gonna do it or keep givin me shit?_

He wanted to reach through the phone and shake him. Just say fuckin yes, it wasn’t rocket science.

 

_Mick (11:55pm) Travis is fuckin stayin at his ol ladies on the weekends now. Just told me. So what’s the verdict Gallagher. You in?_

 

Ian sat up and stared at his phone. As much as he wanted to stay annoyed he couldn’t. The idea of waking up next to Mickey, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him goodnight, it was all he wanted.

 

_Ian (12:00am) It’s a date x_

 

Mickey walked over to his bed and turned off the light. He smoothed his thumb over his background. It was him and Ian making a funny face from the day they cloud watched. They were “best” friends so he wasn’t worried about what people would say when they saw it. Fuck he wanted him there, he missed him. Everynight he missed him. He wished Ian never had to leave and that they didn’t have to keep their relationship a secret but to be honest, he didn’t know how he would tell people. The thought of a negative reaction from Fiona who had become family to him or his brothers, it made him nauseous. He couldn’t handle the thought that they could think less of him. That they could picture him as the fucked up person the little voice in his head told him he was. He opened his thread and let his emotions talk, maybe it was the beer or maybe it was the fact that he felt Ian pulling away. It was subtle but it seemed like more and more Ian was realising how much better he could do. He needed him to wait a few more years, then they could move to New York and have a fresh start. Just them. Nobody would second guess shit because they would be adults and they had history. It was a perfect plan...all he needed was Ian to fuckin listen and trust he knew what was best.  

 

_Mick (12:30am) I love you Gallagher, you’re it for me you know that right?_

Ugh..insecurity at it’s finest. Ian was probably asleep by now.

 

_Mick (12:32am) Night x_

  
  


***

  


Ian was sitting at the picnic table with Nick & Mandy’s boyfriend Justin listening to Mandy go on and on about her dress she had yet to buy. The dance was this weekend and the theme was Under the Sea. He was supposed to go with his best friend to pick out the perfect dress but he wasn’t really feeling it. Don't get him wrong, he wasn’t super into the whole high school dance thing but maybe it would be fun to go. It was like a rite of passage to go to at least one dance. He bailed last year because Mickey refused to go and back then he easily took no for an answer. A lot had changed in the last year though, he wasn’t that timid little kid anymore. Sure Mickey still intimidated him, he always would because he was older and they’d been together so long, it’s just how it was. He put up a fight more now, spoke his mind more. At first Mickey would get even more mad and they would just go in circles but now, there was somewhat of a level playing field.

 

He’d spent the last 4 weekends with his boyfriend and he couldn’t be happier. He would come over after work, they would both study then after about an hour it was time to eat and do whatever the hell they wanted. He was able to fall asleep naked and wake up next to a sleeping Mickey. He was able to take a shower with him and cook him breakfast. They went from spending almost no time together to 3 day weekends. Fiona never questioned him either. Between drama club, school and work, his sister figured he had made friends. He had but other than Mickey, he was too old for sleepovers.

 

“This is it. This is the one. I love the ombre it literally looks like fading water.” Mandy shoved the phone in her friends face.

 

He returned his focus grabbing the phone from Mandy’s hands. The dress was black that faded to a dark blue and ended in a fine turquoise blue. Mandy would look amazing. “I love it Mands. You gonna do you’re hair up or down?”

 

“You really are gay aren’t you?” Justin punched him playfully in the shoulder. He was ok. Justin was 18 and dating his best friend. He was a constant reminder of how fucked up his relationship was but he treated Mandy like a princess. In fact he was buying your highness her homecoming dress.

 

“Sure am.” He laughed then rolled his eyes. So what if he thought Mandy would rock that dress with her hair pinned up.

 

“I’m thinking of maybe doin a french braid, that or…”

 

“Sorry Mands but no.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You heard him” NIck replied then propped his elbow on the table “Do explain Ian..”

 

“Fuck you. I’m just saying with that dress it’s obvious she should do her hair up….and curled” he mumbled.

 

Nick raised his brow “What was that?”

 

“And curled” he sighed with a small smile. “Curl it, pin it up, and you will own that fucking dress.”

 

“Oh Ian” Mandy smiled at her best friend before putting her phone down. “And what are you planning on wearing Mr. Fashionista?”

 

He scoffed at the audacity of the question. She should know the answer by now. “I’m thinking gym shorts and a tank top.”

 

Justin looked at him blankly “Yeeea...I don’t think you can wear that bro. It’s a themed dance” the boy looked at Mandy. “What is it babe?”

 

“Under the Sea!” Mandy glared at Ian “And you are not goin to miss it. Not this time Ian.”

 

“Mandy I don’t”

 

“Buh buh” She touched his lips with her finger then waved her hand “You’re goin. You missed homecomin last year. As your friend it’s my job to make sure you don’t sit at home jackin off when you could really be gettin laid.”

 

“Jesus Mandy” He jumped up from the table grabbing his tray. “You know I have a boyfriend.”

 

“And I’m a millionaire Ian, the fantasy is great but in reality...you need to get LAID. Am I right?” She turned to Nick who looked like he was biting his tongue.

 

“All I know is you told me about this ‘boyfriend’ last year and I have yet to meet him…”

 

“Exactly” Mandy replied.

 

“That’s because he doesn’t go here” he said defensively.

 

Mandy reached out and touched her friends shoulder “It’s ok Ian. Just come with us.  You’ll have fun.”

 

“I’m not…” he lowered his eyes from Mandy’s heavy gaze feeling the defeat creep in. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to be mad she hadn’t guessed, that no one had fucking guessed. “I’m not gonna be your third wheel Mandy so drop it.” Nick stood up and dumped his tray before turning to him.

 

“You could go with me..”

 

“I just told you I..”

 

“Have a boyfriend. Yeah I heard” Nick laughed. “Whatever we can go as friends. You’re not my type anyways.”

 

“Psh” Ian pursed his lips in amusement. “I’m everyone’s type Nick, don’t kid yourself.”

 

His friend stared at him, his eyes lingering a little too long “Hmm..I don’t see it. Master soprano and get some facial hair and then we can talk.”

 

“Adam Levine? That’s your type?”

 

Nick stared off with a silly grin painted on his face.“Yup. Money and sex all rolled into a deliciously musical package” he mused then locked eyes. “Of course. I’d still take you to the dance. You know...as friends.”

 

He glanced over to Mandy whose eyes were wide and telling him if he turned down the offer she would smack him with her tray. He turned to Nick “If my boyfriend doesn’t wanna go then fine.”

 

“It’s a date then”

 

Ian rolled his eyes “No it’s not a date, he might say yes.”

 

“And Romeo will marry Juliet live happily ever after. We both know that’s doesn’t happen. They both die.”

 

Mandy furrowed her brow “Dark dude.”

 

“I’m just saying. Be real. I’ll pick you up at 6” Nick turned to walk away but stopped. “He’s stupid Ian. This ‘boyfriend’ of yours. If you were my type I’d never make you go to a dance alone.”

 

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Mandy taunted.

 

“Shut up”

 

“Aw come on Ian. He’s hot and a Senior and the best part...he’s real.”

 

“Jesus Mandy. You really think I’m pretending?” He snapped “How pathetic do you think I am?”

 

Mandy stepped close to her friend “Hey you know that’s not what I meant.”

 

“What the fuck ever. You guys can think what you want. I know the truth. I have a boyfriend, he loves me and we’re gonna go to this stupid dance and prove it!.” he grabbed his backpack and stormed off down down the courtyard to the front entrance of the school. It was time. He and Mickey were in a good place now and with Mandy dating Justin, Mickey was only a few years older. It would be fine. He was done waiting.

 

***

 

“So pizza or..” MIckey grabbed the takeout menu from the fridge and walked over to the couch “Chinese?”

 

Ian licked his lips and snatched the menu from his boyfriends hands. “Hmm..wontons sound pretty fuckin good.” His mouth was starting to salivate as he looked through the pages. “I think i’m gonna do the pad thai” he peeked around the menu “Not spicy and extra peanut sauce.”

 

“Fuckin pussy” Mickey teased. “You want those little donut things too?”

 

“Not this time. I’m trying to watch my girlish figure.”

 

“Is that so?” Mickey pushed Ian back on the couch and climbed on top of him. He sat back and cocked a brow. “Since when did tall and lanky become unacceptable?”

 

“Don’t lie. All this takeout has left its mark..” Ian grabbed Mickey’s waist, twisting his fingers in the loopholes of his jeans. “I should probably start working out, maybe join a gym.”

 

“Mm you don’t need a gym Freckles.” Mickey leaned down and pressed his lips against Ian’s jaw moving them slowly down his neck. “I can give you a work out.”

 

Ian’s face split into a wide grin and he let out a small laugh. “For reals Mick.” He pushed at his boyfriend lightly causing him to lift his head. “I already found one, it’s like $20 a month and they have a lap pool.”

 

“Join a gym Ian, the fuck do I care. Still wanna fuck you” Mickey dipped his head again attacking his boyfriends freckled skin.

 

“Mm..Mick what about dinner?”

 

He sat up and pulled off his shirt, then curled his fingers under the fabric of Ian’s lifting it up over his head. “I think we should have dessert first.” He sat back on his knees an undid his jeans. Ian followed lifting his hips. He pulled his boyfriends pants down along with his boxers letting them fall recklessly to the floor.

 

“Lets move to the bed.”

 

“No, want you just like this.”

 

“But you guys sit here.”

 

Mickey stood up from the couch and kicked off his pants before walking over to the bed. He opened his nightstand and pulled out his bottle of lube covering his dick. “So, we sat on your couch and you know how many times we fucked on that thing.”

 

Ian chuckled at the thought. “Yea, if walls could talk.”

 

“Better they can’t” he through the bottle on his bed and walked back over to Ian climbing on top of him. “This” he gestured between them. “What you and I have Ian...it’s no ones business. I love you and you love me, that’s all that matters.” Ian glanced away and he could see his jaw stiffen. “Hey” he grabbed the boys face as he nestled between his legs. “You love me and I love you right?”

 

Ian nodded his head afraid that if he opened his mouth something would spill out that he couldn’t take back.

 

“Good” he leaned down and captured Ian’s lips as his body took him in. Their bodies moved effortlessly together, like they were meant to be. How could something feel so right but so fuckin wrong at the same time? Ian wrapped his legs around his waist and grabbed his shoulders. He looked down fixing his gaze with Ian’s. There was once such life behind those green eyes but now all he could see was doubt and sadness until they closed.

 

“Mickey uh.” He licked arched his back and rolled his hips trying to get lost in the feeling, trying to escape the thoughts in his mind and come back to the moment. He didn’t understand how Mickey could say he loved him but then keep him a secret. Was this how it was going to be forever? DId he really think they would just runaway to New York and start a new life together and no one would question it? He was a sophomore, he had 2 years left of highschool. Was he supposed to keep being teased and run around as the third wheel that whole time?

 

He stared down at his boyfriend, face flushed and eyes closed. Ian was there with him. He was moaning and squeezing his shoulders but he wasn’t really there, no he was far away. He was losing him. He needed to fix it but he couldn’t do what Ian wanted. All he could do was thrust harder causing Ian to gasp and tilt his head back against the arm of the couch. He buried his face in Ian’s neck kissing and sucking at freckled skin.“Mm I really do. I fuckin love you baby. You’re perfect uh..everything about you..” Ian needed to believe in him, believe in them or it would all fall apart. It couldn’t fall apart, not after everything they’d been through. “Ian” he groaned then reached out and threaded his fingers through his boyfriends hair. “Do you trust me?”’

 

Ian opened his eyes and met with Mickey’s. Did he trust him? He wanted to but a part of him wasn’t sure how he felt anymore. Mickey was all he knew but sometimes he felt like he didn’t know him at all. Mickey would do anything for him. He would give him the shirt off his back if he asked but what did that matter if they couldn’t be free together? Did he trust him? No, not anymore but he loved him and that would never change. “Yes” he said softly.

 

“That’s all you need then baby. Just trust me when I tell you it will work out ok?”

 

Ian nodded his head, he didn’t want to have this talk. Not now and not again. “Ok Mick” he replied then leaned up pressing a kiss into Mickey’s lips before pulling him back down. “Can we just..”

 

“Yea” he sighed into the kiss then sat up and lifted Ian’s legs on his shoulders. “Mm fuck..” He licked his lips feeling his orgasm build.

 

“Uh Mickey mm” Ian’s fingers dug into the couch and he reached his hand out to stroke his dick. “Hu..shit” after just a few strokes he came on his hand and Mickey fell down on top of him.

 

He kissed at his boyfriends chest as he filled him up with his release. He lay there in silence not wanting to tarnish the serenity of the moment. He could hear Ian’s heart beat against his chest and the sound of his breath trying to regulate. He would never tire of those sounds. He lifted his head to see Ian with eyes closed and his head tilted back. He carefully climbed off the couch and grabbed the menu from the table. Ian turned on his side facing the couch. He was probably tired between work, school and now sex. He would let him sleep until the food got there. He called the place and ordered Ian’s pussy pad thai and he got mongolian beef. They said 30-45 minutes. That sounded like the perfect amount of time to smoke a joint and shower.

  
  
  


***

 

“I’ve died and this is heaven” Ian twirled his chopsticks around the saucy pan noodles. “How come we never ordered from this place before?” He grabbed up the menu studying it. “Way better than that other place.”

 

“Mickey sat down, two beers in hand. He popped the tab on one and handed it to his boyfriend before opening his own. They had managed to kill the 6 pack. After this shots!  “Travis and I tried it out on Monday. There egg drop soup runs circles around that China Garden.”

 

Ian nodded in agreement and took a sip from his beer. He was trying to think of the perfect moment to approach Mickey about that dance. He wanted to believe and did that Mickey would go, that they were in a place where he could convince his boyfriend it was ok to be together. That’s what he thought when he got here but after the weirdly emotional sex and Mickey’s comment about them not being anyone's business, he felt stupid. There was no way MIckey would go. He made his point clear yet there was still a small part that thought he could change his mind. A piece of him that still had faith in the older boy that wanted to give him the opportunity that proved he really loved him. It wasn’t just a stupid dance, it was their relationship. He was done being alone, keeping secrets and fighting. They were soulmates...he couldn’t deny that but his soul was in pain and Mickey needed to fix it. “What do you think of Justin?”

 

Mickey furrowed his brow “that’s a random fuckin question. Who cares?”

 

“He is dating your sister…”

 

Mickey shrugged his shoulders. He got him there. Mandy was fuckin annoying and always bugging him for shit but she was his little sister. “I mean he’s a fuckin idiot but Mandy seems to like him. I only met the guy once or twice.”

 

“Yea but you know he’s a Senior?”

 

Mickey scoffed. “So?”

 

“So he’s almost 19 and Mandy is 16..you don’t have a problem with that?”

 

“Why should I care what she does. Dude treats her nice that’s all that fuckin matters.” Mickey sat up and took a long swig of his beer finishing it. “Why do you care so much Gallagher? There somethin I don’t know about this guy? He into some shady shit?”

 

“What? No..nothing like that.” He took a bite of his eggroll “It’s just..ahem” he swallowed and cleared his throat suddenly feeling very anxious. “They are going to homecoming together.”

 

“Good for them”

 

“Yea but..I thought since they are going that maybe we could go?” He hated how small and timid his voice sounded when he asked that question. He could claim to not be that shy freckled kid Mickey fell for until his face went blue but he was human and he didn’t like to fight. That and Mickey was a blackbelt in shit talking and breaking down his resolve. He waited for a response but Mickey only took a sip of his beer and stared at the TV. “I said we should go? Did you not…”

 

“I heard you” he said calmly before taking a another drink. “Didn’t think it was a serious question”

 

“Ugh! Why the hell not Mick. What gave you the impression i was joking?”

 

Mickey licked his lips “You are askin me to go as your date to the ‘high school’ homecomin. I don’t….what the fuck Ian?” He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to keep his cool. He didn’t want to fight. “The answers no and that it. We’re not gonna do this again, not gonna have this fuckin conversation AGAIN!”

 

Ian threw his chopsticks into his take out container and jumped up from the couch. “Maybe we should Mickey. You just told me Mandy and Justin were good together as long as they're happy.”

 

“What? Who fuckin cares about them. The fuck does that even..”

 

“Because he’s like 3 years older than her and you are only 3 and half years older than me. If they can do it why…”

 

“God you’re a fuckin idiot aren’t you? How many times I gotta say it Ian? How many fuckin times do you have to be told somethin before it fuckin sticks?” He threw his beer in the trash can and stood up from the couch so he was looking up at his boyfriend. “You know why so quit actin like you fuckin dont.” He pushed Ian aside and walked over to his bed.

 

“It’s bullshit Mickey. Who fuckin cares when we got together. What matters is now, how can you not see that?”

 

He rolled his eyes. How could Ian not see how full of shit he was. People wouldn’t care about the now, they would care about the past. If they started datin at school, or under any other circumstance maybe it would be ok but he was his babysitter. He was the one who took advantage of the situation, it led to this..years later but no one would care. Ian was 11 and he was 14, he knew better but didn’t care. That’s all people would see. Ian told him he knew so why? Why were they always fighting about it. “Ian!” he snapped. “No ok. I’m not going to the fuckin dance with you. I’m not gonna parade around and tell the fuckin world that we are together.”

 

“You can’t do this one thing? We can go as friends if..”

 

He walked over to his boyfriend and shoved him hard against the wall. “Get it through your thick fuckin skull cause I’m sick of havin this fight with you. I’m not gonna change my mind cause you want to go to some stupid high school dance.” He smacked the side of Ian’s head “Grow the fuck up Gallagher. This is the real world. Not everyone get’s to flaunt how they feel every fuckin minute.”

 

“Get off me..”

 

“NO” he shouted slamming his hand down against the wall next to Ian’s face. “Not until you prove to me you’re not as fuckin dumb as you’re actin right now. Not until you tell me you understand.”

 

Ian clenched his fists feeling a pool of red hot anger building in his stomach. “Mickey back.off!”

 

He locked eyes with Ian’s then glanced down seeing his boyfriends knuckles turning white.  He licked his lips and leaned in “Don’t be fuckin stupid Ian. You don’t wanna fight me.”

 

Ian eyes softened and the tight line on his face fell “You’re right” he sighed in defeat unclenching his fists “I don’t wanna fight you.” He glanced to the side “I am stupid.” He returned his gaze to Mickey and grabbed his boyfriend's waist. “After everything I should have known better.”

 

Mickey stepped back and nodded his head “Yea, you should of but it’s o..”

 

“No Mick it’s not it.” He walked over to the bed and grabbed his backpack from the floor. “This is not ok. I should have known how you would react.” He shoved his book in his bag. “Maybe I did but I was stupid enough to think you actually cared about me.”

 

“Wait..what?” He walked over to Ian and grabbed his arm “The fuck are you sayin Ian, I care about you. I love you..why would you say that?”

 

He grabbed Mickey hand and pushed him off “Because I’m alone Mickey. I’m always alone. I can’t tell anyone anything ever. I can’t have you when I want you. I can’t tell people when we have the best day and I can’t cry when shit fucking sucks.”

 

“Ian..”

 

“No Mickey! It’s not fair, I don’t wanna be alone anymore.”

 

He reached for his boyfriends face but Ian turned away. “Ian please. It’s just a dance baby. You can still go, you can have fun. Just..” he stepped back. “Just go have fun. I’ll be here when you’re done but I can’t go with you.”

 

Ian rolled his eyes as he felt a tear escape. “It’s not just the dance Mickey. I wanna go but..”

 

“Then fuckin go. Go with my sister and have fun.

 

“I don’t want to go with you’re fucking sister! I want to go with my boyfriend!”

 

“Drop it Gallagher!”

 

Ian sucked in his lip. “You know what...fine. I’ll go Mickey.” he zipped up his bag and through it over his shoulder. “I’ll be alone once again because you’re too much of a pussy to deal with what you started.”

 

He rubbed at his nose and stepped closer to his boyfriend. “The fuck did you say to me?”

 

“You heard me Mickey” he replied. “You’re afraid of what everyone thinks when in reality you’re the only one who’s judging anyone. You’re scared of yourself because admitting we are together means admitting you did something wrong. Well you did.” He walked to the door. “Get over it!”

 

“Fuck you, you don’t understand shit Gallagher. You don’t get it!”

 

“Mandy told me what happened Mick” Ian voice was softer now. He didn’t think this is how the conversation would happen. “She told me about your dad.”

 

Mickey scoffed. “Mandy’s a stupid bitch who needs to keep her mouth shut.” He rubbed at his nose with his knuckle “She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talkin about.”

 

Ian stepped away from the door and slowly made his way over to where Mickey was standing by the bed. “You don’t have to hide it Mickey. It’s not your fault, it doesn't make you a bad person.” He rest his hand on Mickey’s arm.

 

Mickey shrugged Ian off and stepped away putting up his hands in defense. He didn't want to talk about this. Not with Ian, not ever. “Why are we even talkin about this shit huh?”

 

“Because you hate yourself Mick. You think people will hate you too because We slept together and…”

 

“Ian stop..”

 

“No! Mickey you introduced me to things I shouldn’t have even thought about for years, but guess what? You loved me. When everyone else was too absorbed to see me, you were there.”

 

Mickey was silent staring at the corner of the bed as he picked at his comforter. How did this happen? They were just fighting and now they were here. Talking about this….

 

“You’re not twisted like your father Mickey. You made a mistake and yea it probably shouldn’t have happened but I’m glad it did. it was the best mistake of my life. I just wish you could see it that way.” Mickey lowered his eyes refusing to look at him. “Just talk to me”

 

“Nothin to talk about” he said lowly

 

Ian scoffed and rolled his eyes “Don’t say I didn’t try, whatever Mickey. He stalked over to the door throwing it open and immediately crashed into Travis dropping his phone.

 

“Ian my bad. Let me..”

 

“No” he reached for his phone shoving it in his pocket. His lockscreen was a collage of him and mickey over the years with one random pick of mandy. He didn’t feel like explaining it.”

 

“I just came by to grab a few things” Travis looked over at Mickey then back at him “I’ll only be a minute.”

 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m leaving anyway”

 

“Gallagher wait..”

 

“No Mick, I don’t care anymore. It is what it is.” He adjusted his backpack and walked as fast as he could down the hall.

 

Travis shut the door and walked into the kitchen grabbing a beer. “What’s wrong with him. He seems really upset?”

 

“No shit” he followed his roommate into the kitchen grabbing down the bottle of jack he had put aside for tonight.

 

“Well what happened?”

 

Mickey put up his hand signaling his friend to wait as he took a long swig from the bottle letting it warm his throat and numb his mind. He set the bottle down and walked over to his nook by the window. He sat down and pulled out a cigarette lighting it and staring out the window. “Kid wants to go to some stupid dance.” He took a drag of his cigarette “Told him to take my sister but…”

 

Travis walked over and grabbed a few books from the table “But what?

 

He let out a small laugh and ran tongue over his bottom teeth “He wants his boyfriend to go..”

 

“And?”

 

“And his boyfriend said no alright. Guys a fuckin asshole, doesn’t know how good he fuckin has it.” He took a long drag letting the smoke float from his nose. “Told him not to let it ruin his night and just fuckin go.”

 

“That was nice of you to try and cheer him up. You’re a good friend.”

 

“Hpmh” he snorted. “Yea..whatever you say man.”

 

“I remember my first high school dance.”

 

“It’s not his first, he just didn’t go last year.”

 

“So..it’s his first then” Travis corrected. “Either way it’s kind of a big deal.” Travis walked over to his desk “The lights, the music, the stories” he laughed to himself. “These are the night you look back on Mickey. The ones you remember years from now.”

 

Shut up! That’s what he wanted to tell his roommate. Just shut your fuckin face and get out but he couldn’t. Travis didn’t do anything wrong. Wasn’t his friends fault he had a permanent guilty conscience. There was no way he was going to this fuckin dance. No fuckin way. It wasn’t even a question, so why was he thinking about it. “It’s just a stupid dance man. I never cared bout them why would he? He’s not pickin out a fuckin dress or anythin..”

 

“You never cared so you never went. It’s different. Ian seems like he cares and he’s going alone. Poor kid. No one likes to be the wallflower.”

 

“He’ll be fine. He’s gonna have my sister and her boyfriend.”

 

“So he’ll be the third wheel..”

 

OK he was done listening to this. “Why do you care so fuckin much man?

 

“Relax Mickey.” Travis held up his hands in defeat. “You’re probably right. Good lookin kid like that will have no problem getting a dance. Who knows maybe he’ll find someone to replace that asshole boyfriend.” Travis looked around the room. “Seems like he should probably upgrade, he’s too young to settle but...that’s just my opinion.” His roommate turned and headed for the door. “Alright man, i’ll see you Monday.”

 

“Wait..”

“His boyfriend...he can’t go. He has his reasons.”

 

“I’m sure he does.”

 

“You really think Ian’s gonna break up with the guy over a fuckin dance?”

 

Travis shrugged his shoulders “Something tells me, It’s more than that but in the interest of minding my own business I’ll just say this. If his boyfriend wants to keep that title, he needs to do somethin to remind Ian why he loves him in the first place. Maybe then his excuses, wouldn’t seem as paper thin.”

 

“Like what?”

 

Travis crossed his arms and stared at the ground for a moment. “I don’t know. I knew I loved Carol when I saw her covered head to toe in paint. She was a mess but she was happy and the paint seemed to make her shine in this…”

 

“Gaaaay..”

 

“Whatever man. I’m out. Good luck.”

 

“Wait wha..” the door closed before he could finish his sentence. “That was fuckin weird.” He had thought maybe Travis knew something before because of his little comments but after that talk it was nagging at him more...How was he supposed to remind Ian of why they fell in love.  He pulled out his phone and texted his sister.

 

_Mickey (6:45pm) When’s your stupid dance_

 

_Bitch (6:48pm) It’s not stupid and it’s tomorrow._

 

Fuck!

 

_MIckey (6:50pm) when?_

 

_Bitch (6:53pm) 6:30 why?_

 

Great. He had 24 hours to remind Ian why he fell in love with him. 24 hours to try and save his relationship.

 

***

 

Ian sat at the table drinking his punch. He hadn’t talked to Mickey since their fight. He didn’t know what he would say if they did. Nick had picked him up as promised at 6 on the dot. Fiona made them take pictures and commented on how cute they looked. He wanted to cry because she was right. Nick was a good looking guy and he was nice. Really fucking nice. Mickey could be nice but really he was an ass. That’s just how he was. He used to make him feel special like he was the good thing in his world among all the bad but now if he isn't calling him, dumb or stupid, he was keeping him a secret. He thought things were getting better because they were spending more time together. Mickey really could be amazing but a firm hold and gentle touch wasn’t enough anymore. He needed something real. He went to reached into his jacket for his vodka shooter when someone tapped him on the back. He turned to see Nick smiling down at him.

 

“You planning on sitting there all night man?

 

He wiggled his little shooter and looked around the Senior. “Planning on getting fucking drunk. Wanna join me?”

 

“Sure.” Nick pulled up a seat next to him. “You wanna talk about it.”

 

“Nothing to talk about” he replied emptying the contents into his glass of punch. “I’m done making excuses for him.” He pulled a second shooter out and carefully passed it to his friend.

 

“This the invisible boyfriend..”

 

“That would have pissed me off a day ago but the shoe fits..” He laughed and brought the glass to his lips downing the spiked beverage.

 

“UGGGGH!” Mandy grabbed his arm and snatched the cup holding up her phone. “Do you see this? 5 missed calls Ian. 5! Do you know how hard it is to get lost in the moment when your purse keeps vibrating!”

 

Ian read the name on the screen. It was Mickey. He had chosen to turn his phone on silent for that exact reason. “Who dances with their purse anyways Mands?”

 

“That’s not..can you call him please? I don’t wanna listen to him bitch about us not answering our phones!”

 

“He’s your brother why do i have to call him.”

 

Mandy rolled her eyes “Don’t play stupid Ian, he’s your best friend. He’s only calling me to get to you since according too two of his text you are ignoring him.”

 

He stood up from the table and headed over the the punch bowl but Mandy followed. “That’s it Mandy. I’m ignoring him. I’m not gonna call him because he pissed me off.”

 

“You two are such girls.” She typed a quick message into her phone then seconds later there was a ding. “He says it’s urgent and you would know where to meet him? Fuckin cryptic asshole.” she looked up at her friend “You gonna fucking talk to him or is he gonna ruin both our nights now?”

 

It wasn’t Mandy’s fault they were fighting. Just because her boyfriend was a selfish asshole didn’t mean he had to be. “No i’ll go talk to him, tell him..Tell him I’ll listen to what I he has to say but I have a date tonight so make it fast.” His friend typed out the response faster than he could take it back. Now he was just fueling whatever fire Mickey had lit. He looked over to the table where Nick was visiting with Justin. “You mind telling Nick I had to run. Tell him I’ll be back in like an hour maybe less.”

 

“So you do like him?”

 

Ian shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno yet.”

 

***

 

“Fuckin stupid dumbass piece of shit motherfucker” he sucked the blood from the tip of his finger. These fuckin cheap ass lights did not want to sat put. He was adding in a second set of push pins and pricked himself several times. When he was finally done, he climbed down the step ladder and looked around. Not bad Milkovich. It actually looked kinda fancy. He cleaned out the cellar pushing whatever wasn't trash to the very back. He went to the dollar tree and 20$ later he had a tablecloth, string lights, paper lanterns, candles that were really flickering lights, plates and his secret weapon a wine glass filled with chocolate covered cherries. The lights were strung back and forth and the paper lanterns hung from the ceiling. The room smelled of garlic from the spaghetti and bread sticks he bought from Bruna’s. All that was missing was music and the guest of honor. He thought long and hard about this, what music should he play. He went through and made a playlist and if anyone saw it he would deny it. It was sappy...dear god it was fucking terrible but you know what. Ian deserved that. He deserved to be the bell of his ball. He wanted him to know how much he loved him, for him to remember how special he was. So yea. He heard Ian’s voice as the boy approached the door. Here goes nothing.

 

“I’m coming back Mandy. Yea..I know I told you...so he’s dancing with someone else we’re not together..no. Look I gotta go. I’ll see you in a few..ok. Bye.” He rolled his eyes and hung up his phone..He opened the cellar door and was hit with the smell of garlic. He slowly made his way down the stairs to see. “Shit Mickey” he looked around the normally dark room which was now covered in lights and candles. Mickey was standing in the center of the room wearing a black suit with a dark blue tie loosely tied around his neck. Even when he was trying to be fancy, Mickey brought that swagger. He had a wine glass filled with something dark..he couldn’t quite tell. He looked around the room in awe “Mick..I don’t..what is this?”

 

Mickey scoffed “What’s it look like Freckles? It’s a fuckin dance.” He walked over to his boyfriend “I know this was important to you. Figured I could do better than that stupid school anyway.”

 

“Mickey this” Ian sighed looking at the sincerity in Mickey’s eyes “This is amazing.”

 

He reached for Ian’s hand and pulled him in close. “No Gallagher. You’re amazing. He grabbed a cherry from the glass and brought it to Ians lips. “You’re sweet, and patient” he pressed the chocolate into Ian’s mouth. “You’re perfect.”

 

Ian chewed on the chocolate covered cherry and stared into the depth of Mickey’s blue eyes. The man was surprisingly romantic for how much of an ass he could be. He never would have expected this. He leaned forward and captured MIckey’s mouth in a kiss. One hand laced through Mickey’s hair while the other pulled them closer together.

 

Mickey pulled back and set the the glass down on the table then reached for his phone. “See” he panted, out of breath from the passionate kiss. “That kiss was perfection. Let’s see if you can dance though..” He pushed play on his phone then set it back down.

  ** _When your legs don't work like they used to before_**

**_And I can't sweep you off of your feet_ **

**_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love_ **

**_Will your eyes still smile from your cheek_ **

 

“Since when do you dance?” Ian eyed his boyfriend suspiciously as he took his hand. “I’ve never once seen you so much as shuffle yet” He looked down at Mickey feet moving in perfect tandem to the beat of the music.

 

**_And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70_ **

**_And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23_ **

**_And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_ **

**_Maybe just the touch of a hand_ **

**_Oh me I fall in love with you every single day_ **

**_And I just wanna tell you I am_ **

 

“There’s a lot of shit you don’t know bout me Freckles but if you gimme the chance, I’d like to tell you.”

 

“You mean..”

 

He rubbed his nose "Yea and other shit too. There’s more to me then just my past..”

 

Ian laughed feeling his heart flutter “I know Mick. You..” he looked around the room then fixed his gaze on blue eyes. “You’re complicated, you’re broody and a fucking asshole but..I love you.”

 

**_So honey now_ **

**_Take me into your loving arms_ **

**_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_ **

**_Place your head on my beating heart_ **

**_I'm thinking out loud_ **

**_Maybe we found love right where we are_ **

 

“I love you too.”

 

**_When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades_ **

**_And the crowds don't remember my name_ **

**_When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm_ **

**_I know you will still love me the same_ **

**_'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen_ **

**_Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory_ **

**_I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_ **

**_Maybe it's all part of a plan_ **

**_I'll just keep on making the same mistakes_ **

**_Hoping that you'll understand_ **

**_But baby now_ **

**_Take me into your loving arms_ **

**_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_ **

**_Place your head on my beating heart_ **

**_I'm thinking out loud_ **

**_That maybe we found love right where we are, oh_ **

**_So baby now_ **

**_Take me into your loving arms_ **

**_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_ **

**_Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart_ **

**_I'm thinking out loud_ **

**_That maybe we found love right where we are_ **

**_Oh maybe we found love right where we are_ **

**_And we found love right where we are_ **

**_Songwriters: Amy Wadge / Ed Sheeran_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tells Mickey how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update. Had some serious life changing shit go down and it put me out of commission mentally. Still working my way through it so thank you for your patience. I hope you guys enjoy. Thank you to my bestie/beta for helping me with the fight. #Gold XO

They had been laying on the bed talking about boys for the last hour. Stupid boys, life was complicated enough without all the extra bullshit that came from a relationship. He thought love meant sunshine and rainbows but that was back when he was living in a fairytale. He was the stereotypical damsel in distress, forced to live in a world where no one understood him and thought of him as a nuisance rather than a little brother. Then along came Mickey with his black hair, magical blue eyes and a kiss that turned his whole world upside down. It was just them, touching, kissing, loving each other. Then reality invaded  their fantasy and he was left with nothing but scraps of what he once had, clinging onto hope that maybe one day he would be able to have his fairytale ending. Ugh GAY. Stupid Mandy. If she would just stop fighting with Justin then maybe he could forget about his own problems.

 

“I don’t know what’s goin on with us.” Mandy scrolled through music videos on her phone then turned her head to look at him. “Am I pretty?”

 

He rolled his eyes “Of course you’re pretty Mandy. You’re beautiful.”

 

His friend leaned her elbow back and sat up flipping her long black hair behind her. “Then why the fuck is he ignorin me? Boys are so stuuupid!”

 

He furrowed his brow in confusion “you’ve been texting him this whole time so how is he ignoring you?”

 

She let out an exasperated sigh and threw herself back down onto the bed. “Look” she pulled up a message thread on her phone “This is how we talk normally” she showed him one paragraph message after the other with short ‘I love You’s’ in between.

 

“Pookie? Seriously?” He laughed pointing at the nickname. Mandy pulled her phone back and quickly swiped at her screen.

 

“This is how we’ve been talkin since this weekend.” She turned her phone again so he could see it. There was a paragraph followed by simple messages like “k” or “sure”, nothing of substance. “It’s like he’s bored with me.”

  


“Maybe he’s busy” he said pulling out his phone. He had similar conversations with Mickey. It didn’t mean he didn’t care what he had to say...he was just busy with school. Bachelor's degree takes a lot of dedication, studying and focus. They were ok.

He turned on his side to face his friend. “You’re anything but boring Mands” he brushed the hair from her face placing it gently behind her ear. “You’re smart, funny, and a little fucking crazy, but not boring.”

 

“I bet all he sees is the crazy. I’m so over all of it Iaaaan” she whined rolling on her back to stare absently at the ceiling. “What about you? You never tell me about your boy drama.” She tilted her head to the side, “your relationship can’t be that perfect.”

 

Ian scoffed. If only. “It’s complicated Mands. We’ve been together a long time so our fights are different I guess.”

 

“Come on Ian. Real talk.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“I’m not gonna be upset ok I’m your best friend.”

 

“Jesus Mandy what is it? You’re freaking me out.”

 

His friend rolled on her side again to face him,  her blue eyes trained on his own.

“Do you really have a boyfriend?”

 

“Mandy!”

 

“I said don’t be mad, it’s just I haven’t seen this ‘mystery guy’ in four years, like what the fuck Ian? Is he real or what?”

 

“I told you he’s not ready to be public. He’s afraid of how people will react because he’s older than me.”

 

“How old is he?”

 

“I can’t say.”

 

She rolled her eyes “Is he over 30?”

 

“Ew no!” He bunched up his nose in disgust, “why would you even think that?”

 

“Then he’s in his 20’s. Ian you’re 18 aka leeeegal. Tell him to man up or fuck off.”

 

“It’s not like that Mandy. It’s really not a big deal.” His friend punched him in the shoulder hard “Ow fuck. Why’d you do that?” He grabbed his arm and sat up. “That fucking hurt.”

 

“Because you’re bein stupid.”

 

There was that word. Jesus he hated that fucking word. Mickey knew he hated it so when he was really angry he would use it. It was insulting and made him feel small. He couldn’t help the pout forming on his face “I’m not fucking stupid” he mumbled as he went to scoot off the bed. Mandy reached out  wrapping her freshly painted nails around his arm.

 

“You’re not goin anywhere. Don’t be so serious. Obviously you’re not stupid.” He stayed seated so Mandy sat up next to him and scooted close. “I just don’t get why you’d let someone treat you like that. Do you even go on dates?”

 

“Sometimes” he said softly trying his best to hold back everything he desperately wanted to share with his best friend. “We hold hands and stuff too..”

 

“Wow, are you sure you’re not moving too fast” Mandy joked.

 

“Let me finish. We hold hands and kiss, it just depends on where we are and how he feels that day.” He here it goes, the floodgates were opening. “It just sucks cause sometimes he’s like fuck it, doesn’t matter what people think then other times he makes me feel like his dirty little secret.” He let out a deep breath “Whatever it’s dumb.”

 

“It’s not dumb Ian, your boyfriend’s dumb. We’re about to start college! You really wanna be tied down to someone like that?”

 

“You don’t..”

 

“Mm nope,” Mandy shushed him with her finger. “No sexy dances, no frat parties, Justin might be a dick but at least he’s there. Does this guy really expect you to wait around till he gets his shit together?”

 

“It’s not that big of a deal Mandy. It works for now. He’s just doesn’t want people to think he’s a bad guy, it..”

 

“Stop making excuses Ian. Do I need to get Nicky on the phone?”

 

No, just back up! He layed back on the bed taking in a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. How did this turn into a talk about _his_ relationship? “No Mandy we don’t need..”

 

_“Nicky! Guess what?”_

 

_“Hello gorgeous. What?”_

 

_“Ian’s been with his boyfriend like 4 years..”_

 

_“Shit that’s a long time”_

 

_“I know! Anyways, his boyfriend wants him to keep it a secret..”_

 

_“What color is his hair?”_

 

Ian covered his face with the pillow ignoring his friends.

 

 _“He won’t say”_ Mandy replied.

 

_“Eye color? Age? Give us something”_

 

He shook his head under the pillow “Drop it guys, for real.” He threw the pillow at Mandy “This is stupid. I’m going home.” He sat up and stood up from his bed reaching down to the floor to grab his backpack.

 

NIcks voice drifted from Mandy’s speaker _“Ok, what grade is he in?”_

 

“College. He’s a junior in college.”

 

_“Do I know him?”_

 

“No Nick...not really. I’m done talking about it. I’m serious.”

 

“Stop being such a baby.” Mandy jumped up from the bed and leaned against her door blocking his exit.

 

“Mandy come on”

 

“No”

 

_“What’s he study?”_

 

“Stuff”

 

 _“Very descriptive Ian, thank you”_ Nick replied his voice laced with sarcasm.

 

 _“You’re both missin the point. It doesnt fuckin matter who the guy is. What matter is Ian shouldn’t be locked down to some closeted weirdo._ ”

 

_“She’s right.”_

 

“He not..”

 

 _“Shh”_ Mandy and Nick said in unison. Even over the phone they were still able to gang up on him.

 

Mandy tapped her phone against her chin. “I think….Yea we should go to the club.”

 

 _“Fuck yea! I’m down”_ Nick enthusiasm echoed through the room.

 

Mandy looked him over then moved from the door plopping down on her bed _“Good because Ian’s boyfriend needs to be his Ex by graduation and the best way to do that is to show off that hot body.”_

 

*****

 

Fuckin Mandy was blowing up his phone. Yea he loved his sister but he could give a fuck less about her boy drama. Justin was a guy, if he wasn’t answering every fuckin text with a storybook Mandy would go mental. Not like the guy was steppin out on her. If that was the case they would have words but this was just another example of his sister bein insecure when she wasn’t the center of attention. He was thankful Ian wasn’t a bitch like that. His boyfriend respected the fact that he was busy. It sucked but it’s what it was, he was getting deeper into his studies each year but the reason behind it always stayed the same. He wanted to leave this shithole and make a life in the Big Apple where he could give Ian everything he ever wanted. The kid deserved the moon but he would settle for a bedroom with a skylight so they could fall asleep under the stars. He heard the front door open and turned to see a very excited Travis standing behind him.

“Yo”

 

“Get up, get dressed. We’re going out” Travis said with a dopey grin pasted on his face. He had a test on Monday he needed to study for so sadly a night of partying was off the table.

 

“No can do man” he scratched behind his head giving his roommates the “sorry i’m lame” eyes. “Gotta hit the books for my engineerin final.”

 

Travis rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch next to him. “Mickey, it’s a Friday. That means you still have two days to study. Stop being such a bookworm and get ready. We’re going to the club!.”

 

Mickey scoffed and folded down the corner of his book before closing it and setting it on the table. He grabbed his smokes from table and pressed one between his lips. “Aint you supposed to be like a fuckin rolemodel or some shit” he chuckled as he lit his smoke and took a drag. “What’s so important I gotta fall behind on studyin for a fuckin final man hm?”

 

Travis jumped up from the couch “glad you asked. I did something Mick.”

 

“Mickey” he sighed. Only one person called him Mick, it was intimate and just felt weird coming from anyone else.

 

“Seriously? I’m trying to tell you about the best decision of my life and you’re correcting me on your name?”

 

“Yea cause it’s Mickey but whatever, go onl, don’t let me stop this..” he waved a hand in a circle over Travis body that was dripping with excitement.

 

“Whatever man. Anyway...I did it.”

 

“Did what?”

 

“I asked Carol to marry me and she said yes Mick..Mickey!”

 

Mickey stood up from the couch and put out his cigarette “No fuckin shit man congrats.” He gave his friend a very quick and slightly awkward hug. Travis may as well be family at this point, he knew more that his real family. Plus he was always there for him. He helped him study, lent him an ear and when it came down to it was just a really fuckin cool guy. “I’m happy for you dude, for real. So when’s the weddin?”

 

“Not sure yet but I do know one thing.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“I want you to be my best man.”

 

Mickey stood there stunned by the words that escaped his friends lips. He was glad he put out his smoke because the way his jaw dropped he would have surely dropped it on the floor. Best man? “You’re shittin me right? Me?”

 

“Yea you”

 

“What about Donald? Aint he gonna be upset you chose someone you’ve known for 3 years over flesh and blood?”

 

Travis rolled his eyes and walked over to the kitchen pulling a Fiji water from the fridge.. fuckin tool.

“Look Donald’s never liked Carol” the man said before guzzling down half the bottle. “Even if he did, you’re my best friend and it’s my wedding. So I repeat, get the fuck up. Go get dressed and let’s celebrate.”

 

“I’m in” he turned to walk over to his dresser when Travis called his name. “What?”

 

“You should bring Ian along, I think he and Carol will get along.”

 

Mickey laughed and shook his head “You know I can’t do that man, fuck off.”

 

“Why not?”

 

He took in a deep breath feeling irritation set in. He didn’t want to ruin the natural buzz his friend had so he calmly licked his lips and rubbed at his nose “Let’s not alright. Tonight is about you man. You and your girl.”

 

A wide grin spread across Travis’s face “You’re right. Wait till you see this club I found. Got a table in the VIP section with bottle service, only the best for my girl.”

 

“Right on man” he smiled then turned around to get dressed. He wondered what Ian was up to tonight?

 

*****

 

Ian had been to the club before but this place was something else. It was classy and he was severely underdressed. “I can’t believe I let you guys talk me into this” he said with a sigh as he pushed back his hood revealing a bright orange beanie.

 

“Shut up Ian you look hot. That jacket goes perfect with that shirt and the beanie gives you edge.” Mandy raised a brow at him “I thought you were gay?”

 

“Jesus Mands” he shook his head as an amused grin crossed his lips. “I don’t see Nick. Shouldn’t he be here since he picked the place..”

 

“And I paid” the familiar upbeat voice came from behind him. He turned to see his friend dressed like he just stepped out of a Billy Joel music video. He had a white v neck shirt with dark buttons and rolled up sleeves tucked into his black slacks and black aviator sunglasses. “Lookin good Ian, love the jacket.”

 

“See” Mandy chimed as she leaned against the wall.

 

“Come on, I got us a table in the VIP.” Nick grabbed his hand and pulled him across the room with Mandy following close behind. The stopped at what looked like a small lounge area that was roped off. The women standing at the bottom of the 4 stairs unhooked the rope then hooked it behind them. They followed Nick to the corner where Abby and Jenna were at a table sitting in front of a row of glasses .He walked over to the spacious booth “fancy” he mused with a smile.

 

“We’re celebrating” Nick gloated as a large grin crossed his face. “As Mandy said, tonight is the night you move on from your douchebag boyfriend and find yourself a real man.”

 

Ian glanced over to Mandy who had an ‘I told you so’ look on her face. He didn’t think she was serious about that, he thought she was just being a bitch. “Guys c’mon” he said with a nervous laugh. “That’s not why I’m here okay. I love my boyfriend, don’t need a new one.”

 

“You hear that Nicky? He _loves_ his boyfriend” Mandy mocked.

 

“I did Mands, question is does he love him?” NIck grabbed his hand under the table. “I’ve known you 4 years now ian and not once have I heard even a story about this guy. How is that love?”

 

His heart was beating against his chest. His hand was sweating from Nicks grip and he just wanted to sink into the booth or hide under the table.

 

“Oh my god guys leave him alone!” Jenna elbowed Nick hard in the side. “Can’t you see how uncomfortable he is?”

 

“I’m fine” Ian replied quickly. “Can we not talk about my relationship for once?” He looked over at Nick.

 

“It’s ok Ian” Mandy said in a comforting tone then looked at her drink there was a dark beer in the glass and a small shot glass filled with something in front of it . She lifted the shot glass then looked at Nick. “The fuck is goin on here?”

 

“Irish Car Bomb.” Nick must have seen the confusion on their face because he rolled his eyes. “ LIke this.” He picked up the shot and dropped it into the beer causing it to foam up, then he downed the beer and shot mixture slamming his glass on the table. “Your turn” he panted.

 

Ian laughed and grabbed the shot glass in front of him then looked over at Mandy. “Bottoms up!” He smacked the table as the warmth pooled in his stomach from the alcohol. “Shit! I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

 

NIck laughed at him and pulled out his phone “Selfie time, we’ll do a before and after.” Ian looked at his friend with brow raised in curiosity,

 

“What?”

 

“You know before we get shitfaced and after” his friend draped his arm over his shoulder and leaned in. Mandy scooted next to him so that the three of their faces were smushed  into the frame. * **click***  there was a flash of light that had everyone seeing stars for the next few seconds.

 

“Jesus” he shouted rubbing at his eyes. “What the hell man?”

 

“Oops” Nick said shrugging his shoulders with an innocent look on his face “Totally spaced the flash was on.” Mandy punched Nick friend in the shoulder.

 

“Great goin Nicky I’m gonna be fuckin blind now, how am I suppose to see Ian score?”

 

“Enough guys I’m serious.” He looked over at Nick “That all you got man? Pretty sure I was told there would be free drinks if I came out.”

 

Nick stood up and held his hand out. “What?” He looked at his friend with confusion.

 

“Let’s go to the bar. They know me here, it’s cool.”

 

“But why can’t they just bring us more shots?”

 

Nick rolled his eyes then leaned down and grabbed his hand. “Don’t be a party pooper Ian, just come on.”

 

He turned to Mandy. “Come on Mands let’s get faded.”

 

“I’m good” she replied pulling out her fun. “You two go ahead I’m gonna text Justin.”

 

“Maaandy” he whined because come the fuck on. “Why did you drag me out here if you’re not gonna have fun?”

 

Her eyes stayed glued to her phone “I am havin fun. I’ll see you guys on the dance floor just….oh my god he said he misses me..” He watched the lovesick glow fill up his friends face and knew she was a lost cause so

he reluctantly followed Nick over to one of the 2  bars surrounding the dance floor.

Nick took a seat and he sat down beside him. He ordered a Jack and coke and Nick ordered a Strawberry Daiquiri.  Ian laughed at his friend as he chewed his maraschino cherry.“Can you be anymore gay?”

 

“Says you.”

 

“Whatever man, you are way more obvious.”

 

“Sure..”

 

His friend stared at him with a heavy gaze that was starting to make him uncomfortable. Nick was hot, but he was with Mickey.

 

“I like that jacket.” Nick reached out and grabbed at the collar of his hoodie jacket running his hand down the zipper. “Looks really good on you.”

 

“Uh thanks.” He took a long swig of his drink. This was all so weird, he was overthinking it. “Mandy picked it out.”

 

Nick scoffed. “Course she did, she has good taste.” He took a sip of his daiquiri “So you excited about the end of the month?”

 

He smiled and stirred the ice in his drink thinking about how good it felt to be an adult. “Yea, I’m so ready for college. To leave here.”

 

“Whoa what?” Nick set down his drink and rest his hand on his knee. “Where are you going?”

 

“College man. New York.”

 

Nick nodded “ New York? Hmph...that’s exciting.”

 

He could only think of the dream he and Mickey had talked about for so long. The two of them taking over New York together. His lips curled up into a warm smile “You have no idea Nick. Been waiting for this day for a long time.”

 

Nick studied his face then jumped down from his chair grabbing his hand “Dance with me.”

 

He pulled back not wanting to give the wrong idea. More and more he thought about what Mickey said and it was clear to him now his friend liked him. Very clear actually. Nick didn’t hide it but he was his friend and seemed to respect him regardless of how Mickey saw it. “I’m good man. Still got this whole drink left” he looked over at Nick’s drink that was barely touched “so do you.”

 

NIck pulled him close then looked down at him “One dance, that’s all.” His friends voice was deep and serious but his face was soft. It was making him feel confused. He wished Mickey were here asking him instead but he wasn’t and Nick was. His friend Nick, just two friends dancing at a club. What was wrong with that? He pulled away and downed the rest of his drink then turned to his friend. “You sure you can handle this” he laughed gesturing over his body and raising a brow in challenge.

 

“I’d like to try” Nick replied then grabbed his hand pulling him onto the crowded dance floor.

 

****

 

The music was loud and the lights were mesmerizing. The song playing sounded like a remix of Blue by Eiffel 65 then boom the bass dropped and before he knew it his body had a mind of his own. He swirled his hips to the music as he brought his hands up and rolled them down in time with the rest of his body letting the beat flow through him. Nick was dancing in front  of him rocking back and forth with his hands criss crossing in front of him as he snapped his fingers. Nick stretched his hands out like he was pushing at an invisible wall and back up against him. He went to grab for his friends shoulders when the man reached back and grabbed his waist spinning him so he was the one facing out and Nick was behind him. “Hey no fair, you ruined my dance” he yelled over the loud music.

 

“Then start over. Come on” Nick rocked his hips against him as the song changed to a faster tempo. He leaned his head on his friends shoulder and reached behind him pulling him closer as he rolled his hips again.

 

***

 

Mickey pulled at the collar of his shirt as he stood at the table giving a speech. He thought that was only for the wedding but this was an engagement party so fuck it. He had the car ride to think but nothing came to mind. It wasn’t until he was at the table with his friend that the words came spilling out.

 

“So with that bein said congratulations on the engagement guys. You two deserve each other.” There was a round of applause and before he took his seat his friend grabbed him and pulled him into a bear hug. “Ok ok..back up.”

 

“Nope. That was beautiful” Travis sniffled.

 

Mickey pulled back and bunched up his face “Dude for real? You fuckin cryin right now?”

 

Travis squared his shoulders and wiped his eye. “No what? I just had something in my eye. Shut up” His friend pushed him playfully then looked around the room. “This is a nice club, surprised I haven’t been here before.”

 

Mickey scoffed. “Yea me too asshole. Who knew your pockets were so deep. Here I thought you were a broke college student like me.”

 

“You’re not broke Mickey you do work study.”

 

“So broke” he laughed. “Whatever man, don’t matter. You’re still my friend even if you sell out and move to  fuckin South Lawndale.”

 

“Say’s the man moving to New York to build mansions.”

 

“That’s the dream right there” he replied grabbing his drink from the table. His stomach rumbled and he remembered he hadn’t eaten anything. He swore he saw an appetizer menu, bar food on the table. He scanned the booth until he found it. “You wanna order some..” he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Is that Ian?”

 

He stopped and turned to his friend. “Ian? Nah man. He wouldn’t be in a place like this.” He looked at his phone. It was midnight, his boyfriend was probably asleep. “Anyways back to..”

 

“No man I’m almost certain that’s Ian. He’s dancing with some blonde guy” Travis said with concern in his voice. That got his attention, that was too much detail to be a coincidence. He looked over the crowd of people and let out a sigh of relief.

 

“I don’t see shit. You need to get your eyes checked.” He went to sit down when Travis grabbed him and spun him around. “The fuck man?”

 

“Look, right there behind the guy in the blue stripes and girl with the green dress.” His friend pointed “That’s definitely your boyfriend.” He shoved his friend away and squinted zeroing in on the pair who were dancing, if that’s what you could call it.

 

“Son of a bitch” he snapped. There towards the back of the dance floor by the bar was his boyfriend and the blonde bane of his existence grinding on each other. Ian was smiling and Nicks hands were.. “Nope fuck that.” he slammed his glass on the table and started towards the stairs when someone grabbed his arm. “What?” he shouted turning to his friend.

 

“Calm down dude. Just because he’s here doesn’t mean anything bad. It’s a club…”

 

“I know it’s a fuckin club Travis. That doesn’t mean shit to me, he shouldn’t be out there actin..just...let me go man.” he said in a firm voice trying to remain calm. “Go back to your girl, I’ll be fine.” Travis eyed him warily as he released his grip. He straightened out his shirt and rubbed his nose. “I’m good alright, this is your night. Enjoy it.” With that he turned and walked towards the dance floor.

 

****

 

His head was spinning lost in the adrenaline and the beat of the music. He couldn’t remember the last time he had this much fun. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Mandy. “Bout fucking time Mands we thought you ditched us” he shouted. Mandy smiled as she danced in front of him.

 

“Just thought you guy would have more fun without me” she winked “Looks like I was right.” He could feel his cheeks get hot as her words sank in.

 

“Nice try Mandy” he replied grabbing her waist and rocking his hips. Nick was grinding against him and he was pushing his body against Mandy the three of them getting lost with the music and alcohol. For the first time, wedged between his two best friends he felt like he wasn’t suffocating, he felt liberated like nothing could stop him. It was just him and the music. That feeling was short lived by Mandy’s voice echoing in his mind causing him to open his eyes. He immediately let go of his friends waist when he saw Mickey standing behind her.

 

Mandy turned her head to shout at her brother. “Why are you even here?”

 

Mickey pointed to the corner opposite their booth. His eyes followed until he landed on Travis sitting with a group of people. Of fucking course they would pick the same club. Mickey continued to talk to his sister but his eyes landed on him and he could tell he was livid. He didn’t do shit so fuck him for being upset over nothing. Just then Nick leaned down and whispered in his ear “Why’d you stop? You having fun?”

 

Mickey’s eyes narrowed as they traced down his body to the hands on his waist. He rolled his eyes and started to dance again. He was dancing, nothing else. Mickey could either get over it or step in. He leaned back against his friend and rocked his hips again. Mandy waved her hand dismissively at her brother then walked back over and started dancing. He watched as Mickey rubbed his nose and stood there staring at them. “What your brother want?”

 

“Wanted to know why we were here, who was payin for us and if we were drinkin”

 

Ian scoffed “What did you say?”

 

Mandy flipped her hair behind her shoulder “What do you think Ian? Told him to take the stick out of his ass and leave us be. He’s not my dad and my brothers know that I’m out right now. I answer to them not Mickey, despite what he thinks.”

 

Ian nodded glancing back to the crowd. Mickey was gone. “Why is he here?”

 

Mandy was about to speak when she stopped dancing and crossed her arms. “Told you to leave us be. Colin knows I’m here Mickey god!”

 

Mickey licked his lips letting out a small laugh “Yea I know. I’m not here for you princess.” He turned to his boyfriend and looked at the hands still on his waist. “How’s it goin Gallagher?”

 

“Leave him alone Mickey. We were having fun. He doesn’t…”

 

“Shut the fuck up Mandy!” he snapped causing his sister to glance away. He looked back at his boyfriend “You and me should grab a drink? We got some catchin up to do.” He reached for Ian’s hand but was blocked by Nicks.

 

“First off you can’t talk to your sister like that man. She’s a person not a dog.”

 

Mickey rubbed his nose again and sucked in his bottom lip feeling his temper about to boil over.

 

“Second we’re” Nick gestured between him and Ian “in the middle of something so you can do what Mandy said and leave us to it.”

 

Ian could see his already angry boyfriend go into kill mode and pushed his friend away reaching out to touch Mickey’s shoulder. He felt the tension leave Mickey’s body just from the small gesture. “It’s all good Nick. I’ll be back.” He turned to his boyfriend trying to keep the smile on his face when inside he was freaking out. “I’ll take you up on that drink.”

 

“How bout a smoke too?”

 

“Sure Mick” he replied then walked off with his boyfriend through the crowd. They bypassed the bar completely as Mickey made his way to the exit at the back of the bar. He followed behind his boyfriend as he pushed open the door.

 

Mickey looked at Ian as he lit a cigarette. “The fuck was that about?”

 

“Dancing” he replied softly. He didn’t want to fight he just wanted to back inside.

 

“Dancin?” Mickey walked up to him and pushed him against the wall.

 

“Come the fuck on Mickey it’s not a big deal.”

 

“What? You auditionin for twinks gone wild?” He stared into Ian’s eyes looking for any sign that he was into that stupid blonde asshole.

 

Ian rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe Mickey. “ Jesus Really? Fuck you Mickey!” He pushed his boyfriend out of his face.  “I was just having fun with my friends. I’m allowed to have fun.”

 

“Fine have fun. I could give a shit, but that didn’t look like fuckin fun Gallagher. That looked like you were waitin for the first fag who was willin to fuck you” he snapped flicking his cigarette. “That it?” He grabbed Ian’s waist pulling him in close and reaching for the button on his jeans.

 

“Mick” he sighed immediately taken back by Mickey’s touch. He was weak. He leaned his head on his shoulder. He felt Mickey slip his hand under his boxers and wrap his finger around his dick. He was hard in seconds. This is what happened. He would do anything for Mickey and his boyfriend knew how addicted to him he was. He made him that way. Mickey backed them against the wall. He stared into stormy blue eyes trying to read them but like half the time, he couldn’t. He could however feel Mickey’s hand pushing down his pants. “We can’t..” he panted as Mickey’s hand moved back and forth, “People smoke back here mm they could uh see” he arched his neck letting his head fall back against the wall.

 

He knew that. It was the point. He leaned forward and sucked on Ian’s soft freckled skin then whispered in his ear. “So what? You wanna act like a whore, people are gonna treat you like one.”

 

His heart broke as Mickey’s words crushed it like a hammer. “Get off me!” He pushed the older boy back and pulled up his pants. “I'm not acting like a fucking whore Mickey” he shouted. “ I was dancing, people dance like that. If you came out with me once in awhile instead of hiding in your apartment maybe you’d know that.” He buttoned his pants then looked at angry blue eyes feeling nothing but hopelessness.  He scoffed, “you know what? My friends are right. I deserve better than this.”

 

Mickey furrowed his brow and crossed his arms. “Don’t fuckin listen to that dumb bitch in there Ian she doesn’t know shit about what we have.”

 

“That dumb bitch is my friend and your sister Mickey. She knows I’m not happy.”

 

“Not happy?” He laughed nervously. “Since fuckin when?”

 

“Oh come on Mick,” he pulled his cigarettes from his hoodie and lit one up. “You know I’ve been unhappy for a long time you just don’t care enough to fix it.”

 

“Don’t tell me I don’t fuckin care about you!” He got face to face with his boyfriend. “I love you fuckin asshole.”

 

Ian blew smoke through his nose as he stared down his boyfriend. “Prove it then.”

 

He backed up and brought his hand to his mouth biting his knuckle  “What? Why? I fuckin told you, I’ve told you for years. What are you even talkin about right now Gallagher?”

 

Ian took another long drag of his cigarette letting the nicotine steady his nerves. “Prove that you love me” he repeated. “We’ll go back inside and I’ll introduce you as my boyfriend.”

 

He walked up and snatched the cigarette from his boyfriends lips tossing it behind him. “Are you outta your fuckin mind?”

 

Unbelievable. How was he even surprised? “No Mickey I’m not. I’m done being your little secret. Either you come inside with me right now or..”

 

Mickey raised his brow leaning close enough to feel Ian’s breath on his face.“Or what?”

 

“Or that’s it. We’re done.”

 

He licked his lips and stepped back rubbing at his nose. “You can’t….Don’t be fuckin stupid. You know I’m not gonna go in there and fuckin...come on Ian seriously.” He approached Ian again grabbing his waist.  “I’m over this conversation Baby hmm.” He kissed his boyfriends set jaw. “Let’s go back to my place ok. I can show you how much I love you.”

 

“Jesus really? Sex? That’s your answer?” he pulled away from Mickey disgust written across his face. “You can’t tell people you love me, but you can sneak me out and fuck me?” He felt like he was gonna cry. Did Mickey really think that little of him? Did he really love him or was this all about sex like he believed when he was a kid. He knew the answer. Mickey loved him, just not enough. “Nice to know you’re over this conversation cause I’m really starting to get over you’re fucking paranoia. Guess what Mick I’m not 11 anymore and you’re not 14 nobody's gonna give a shit!” he shouted hearing his voice crack. Fuck. Keep it together.

 

He could see the defeat in Ian’s eyes and it felt like all the air had been sucked from where they were standing. He walked up and grabbed his boyfriends hands, intertwining their fingers.“Ian It’s ok” he said softly. “I don’t...we’re almost fuckin there!  Only got one more year left of this shit then we can leave this place. That’s all I want. You and me, New York remember?” he lifted his hand to smooth his thumb over Ian’s cheek “That’s been the plan for ever baby so why you tryin to change it on me?”

 

He yanked his hands away and stepped back.“Because the plan is stupid!” He saw the hurt immediately on Mickey’s face, that’s not what he meant. “I’m sorry that came out all wrong. I wanna go to New York and have this great life but what’s the difference between now and waiting another fucking year. The news will be the fucking same. Unless you just never plan on telling anyone. Keepin me hidden like some fuckin dirty mistress.”

 

He rubbed at his head with frustration. “You know that’s not how it’s gonna be Ian. It’ll be completely new for both of us. We can be together and start our life. Forget about Chicago” He walked over to his boyfriend, he didn’t care how much he tried to pull away he would pull him back in. He grabbed his waist. “We don’t need anything but each other.”

 

Ian scoffed and tried to push Mickey away but he was holding him tight. He took in a deep breath. “You’re kidding? Forget about Chicago? Like our families? Are we not gonna tell them? Do you think they won’t fucking find out?”

 

“They don’t need to! What fuckin part of startin over don’t you get?” He rolled his eyes “if they do they’ll just assume we hooked up then. It’s not fuckin rocket science Ian.”

 

“Jesus Mickey what the fuck? I’m not giving up my family because you’re too much of a pussy to admit we’re in a relationship!”

 

“Say that shit again I'm gonna kick your fuckin ass” He pushed Ian against the wall feeling so many mixtures of emotion. He caged him in and looked him dead in the eyes. “You fuckin understand?”

 

“Do it! Hit me Mickey” he shouted. “Always say you’re gonna then fucking prove it big man” he challenged gritting his teeth. He narrowed his eyes ready for a fight but Mickey only lowered his. He laughed in amusement. “You can’t. You love me too much. But love isn’t always enough. You got the power in this one. We either tell everyone or we don’t have anything”

 

There it was again. He felt like he couldn’t breath, like Ian’s words were drowning him and he could see their life flashing in front of his eyes. He felt his eyes water as much as he was trying to will it away. “Come on baby, stop sayin that shit.” His voice voice was softer then he recognized, he could hear the fear in it. He rubbed Ian’s arm and leaned in to give him a kiss but he turned his head and pushed him away. “You fuckin serious right now Ian?” He pressed his palm into his eyes. Keep it together Milkovich!

 

“Yes. Been thinking about it a little and now I’m fucking done waiting. We either tell everyone we’re together  tonight or I can’t be with you. I’m tired of fucking sneaking around and keeping secrets”

 

“Ian please I can’t” he replied feeling a tear trickle down his cheek. He hated himself so much right now. He couldn’t do it. Ian was right he was scared, terrified even now. He didn’t want to admit what he did was wrong, it was. Doesn’t matter where it ended, how it started was wrong. He reached for Ian’s hands but the boy pulled them away and stuck them in his hoodie pocket. “Don’t do this Ian.”

 

He looked away because he couldn’t stand the hurt in Mickey’s eyes. His boyfriend hid his emotions under lock and key but right now they were on display for him and he couldn’t bare it. “I’m not doing this Mickey. You are.” He glanced up locking eyes with deepest bluest oceans “We’re done.” He turned around and walked inside. When he closed the door behind him he felt it. The pain in his chest that made him want to drop to the ground and curl up in the fetal position. He loved Mickey will all he had but it wasn’t enough. He’d really hoped given the ultimatum Mickey would chose him but he didn’t, he chose fear. Now fear could keep him warm at night.

  
  
  



	16. Tell Me You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey tries to navigate his life without Ian.

 

_ Hi you’ve reached Ian. Leave a message. _

 

“Fuck” he shouted throwing his phone on the bed. He must’ve left a dozen voicemails telling Ian he was sorry. Telling him he would be a better boyfriend, that he couldn’t live without him. Yea that’s right. There were several whisky fueled voicemails telling Ian how his life was nothing without him and how much he loved him and needed him. He even said “what’s the point of life if I don’t have you in it.” He was slapped in the face for that one. Normally he would have punched a motherfucker out but Travis was lifting him off the floor and prying the bottle from his hands so he let it slide this once. In fact he wished his friend was here now to distract him.

 

It had been almost 3 weeks since he last talked to Ian but he saw him practically every other day. It was almost summer break and his brothers wanted him to come home and visit. He missed them so he decided fuck it, why not. He could handle taking the train for the last few weeks until school was out. Anything was better than being alone.

 

At least that’s what he thought.

 

He was enjoying himself sitting on the couch with a beer in one hand, while the other moved passionately in the air with every syllable as he explained the the drafting class he was in to his brothers. His teacher recently told him about a possible internship opportunity that he was mulling over. It would have been something he needed to talk about with Ian but now he wasn’t sure what he what he was supposed to do. He set his beer on the table and reached for the crumpled pack of cigarettes in his pocket when the front door opened. He immediately felt a chill course through his body, and it wasn’t from the summer breeze.

 

Mandy stepped inside and hung up her purse behind the door. Shen  flipped her hair over her shoulder as she walked passed the couch. “Did you see what she was wearin? Like if you don’t want people to stare don’t wear somethin showin your tits” 

 

“The look on her face when I said I’m  gay was priceless.” Ian laughed and shut the door before hanging up his backpack next to Mandy’s purse. “She looked almost offended.” He turned to follow his friend in to the kitchen but stopped dead in his tracks coming face to face with a pair of ocean blue “Mickey?” he said softly. “What...what are you doing here I thought you..”

 

“You thought wrong” he said before taking a sip of his beer, He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as his eyes scanned over his ex taking in his figure. He looked good.  Really fuckin good. Toned. It was hard to accept the reality that Ian was standing right in front of him after weeks of nothing. Just hearing him say his name again was enough to make his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. He rubbed at his nose. “Stayin here for the summer.”

 

Ian reached behind him and slowly scratched his neck. “Oh that’s cool..”

 

“Yea...ahem” he cleared his throat and took another swig of his beer “You uh...you been workin out? ”

 

Ian felt his cheeks get hot under the weight of Mickey’s gaze. “Yea actually, the 3 of us joined a gym. We’ve been going after school.”

 

“3 of you?” He rubbed his knuckle to his nose  felt his heart burn with a ping of jealousy “You. Mandy and..”

 

“And Nick...yea. It’s pretty cool, has a pool and sauna. Nick's parents live in that gated community so we get to go for free cause it’s at the activities center.”

 

Mickey scoffed and licked his lips, “so that’s why you been dodgin my calls? Too busy to answer a fuckin text cause your out swimmin around with my sister and playin Richie Rich with your fuckin little boyfriend?” He regretted the words the moment they slipped off his tongue.

 

Ian sucked in his bottom lip and felt his eyes start to prickle. Why did he have any hope that Mickey changed. First off, fuck Mickey for thinking he would just move on, that he would be over their relationship that fast.  Second, now that he had been doing his own things and hanging out with his friends he realized even if people knew they were together, Mickey still needed to treat him better. He talked down to him like he was a child. He could just be plain mean. He scolded himself for even engaging in this stupid conversation but even now he was still waiting for the older boy to step up. Talks like this only affirmed the voice in the back of his head saying that was never going to happen. “ I should go..”

 

“Yea..you should.” He raised his hand dismissively waving Ian away. He lit up the cigarette that had been resting between his fingers and watched the love of his life wander into his kitchen. He sat back in the couch trying to stop the urge to walk over to Ian, shove him against the wall and claim him. 

 

“So…..gonna tell us what that was about?” Iggy looked at his little brother then over to Ian standing in the kitchen. Both had pouts on their face. “You two ok?”

 

“Why the fuck do you care?”

 

“You guys have been fuckin friends for years” Colin replied reaching out to touch his brothers shoulder. “Somethin happen?”

 

“Don’t fuckin worry about it. Just leave me alone.” He jumped up from the couch, grabbed his cigarettes and beer then headed down the hall to his room slamming the door behind him.

 

He spent the rest of that day and almost every other after, hearing and seeing Ian, but not being able to talk to him. He tried again after his disaster of a conversation but Ian put his hand up cutting him off then walked away. He  would join them when they were watching movies or having dinner, it seemed like he was always fuckin there. He forgot how close Ian and his family were until it was right in his fuckin face. He tried several times to text him when they were only a few feet from each other but it was pointless. It was one thing for his calls and texts to go unanswered when he was across town but to see Ian click ignore or look at his phone and roll his eyes was ripping his insides out and soon there would be nothing left.

 

He could hear Ian’s laugh right now through the wall. He, Mandy and the walking douchebag Nick were in her room watching a movie and eating popcorn like a couple of chicks havin a slumber party. He could smell the fuckin butter and the burnt kernels at the bottom of the bag. He played his favorite 21 pilots album as loud as it would go to drown out the sound of mindless chatter. He pulled a beer from the 24 pack he had next to his bed then walked over to his old toy box and opened it. He was surprised to see there was an unopened lego set inside. He must’ve gotten so caught up with other things, like his secret relationship, that he forgot to open it. He sat down on the floor with his beer and his legos dumping out the contents of the box. Once everything was organized he opened the book and started building. It didn’t take long for him to drift into that space between now and the memories. His music was loud but he could still hear Ian’s voice. He could hear him asking if he was mad at him or if he really loved him. He focused on his legos straying from the design in the book just putting pieces where he felt they belonged. Soon the base was complete, then the walls and finally the roof. It wasn’t big enough though. He wanted a mansion. He reached behind him into the toy box pulling out his bag of miscellaneous legos.

 

After about 3 hours of precision and tired fingers pushing little blocks together he was done. He stared at the 2 foot tall house in front of him and felt a sense of pride as he looked over every detail. He used blue legos for the pool water and white for the floor. There were green legos mixed with red yellow and orange for the rooftop garden Ian mentioned he saw in a magazine. There was a five car garage because go big or go home, right now it housed lego bricks but one day... He slammed his twelfth beer and felt it try to come back up burning in his throat. He stared at his creation again and felt his stomach twist into a knot. The pride slipped away and he  was replaced with failure and regret. All of it was a lie. Ian was gone, his dreams, their future together, just gone. What was the fuckin point anymore? He couldn’t move to New York, not without Ian. He didn’t want to build mansions and become the fancy architect he was so close to becoming if he had no one to share his success with. He jumped up from the ground and kicked the offending lego house smashing it. He stared broken inside as he watched the little pieces scatter across the floor. He needed some fuckin air. He cracked open his door and saw Ian and Mandy laughing at something on the tv. He quickly closed his door and turned his back against the wall before sinking down to the floor.

 

Fuckin Ian. 

Here he was falling to pieces without him, becoming a shell of who once was because he saw no reason to try, no reason for anything yet Ian...Ian was laughing and moving on with his life like he never existed. Screw fresh air. He was gonna drink till he threw up, then drink he would some more.

 

****

 

He was woken up not by his alarm but buy strong hands shaking him. “The fuuuck” he groaned rolling over. There, suitcase in hand, was Travis and Carol. He sat up quickly  putting his pillow in his lap to cover his morning wood. “What the fuck guys? Does nobody use the fuckin phone these days?”

 

“We tried calling you sweetie but you wouldn’t pick up.” Carols sickenly sweet voice was like nails on a chalkboard after the night he had. “Travis was worried about you so I pulled you’re address from the admins office.”

 

He sometimes forgets Carol is a teacher. He only saw her now and then and she looked more like a hot mom then a teacher. He turned to his friend with a straight face and raised brow. “You stalkin me now?”

 

Travis reached down and pulled up the empty  24 pack box. “Just wanted to make sure my best man was still breathing. I was afraid you might have drowned in your pity party.”

 

“Fuck you” he shouted then cringed at the loudness of his own voice. “Nobody asked your fuckin opinion.”

 

Travis sat down next to him “I care about you Mickey. We both do.” Carol nodded in agreement. “But believe it or not this visit isn’t all about you.”

 

His brow bunched in confusion “Wait? What happened? Why are you here?”

 

“Carols parent decided after several years of courting their daughter..”

 

“Courtin? Was is this, the fuckin 50’s.” he felt a pinch on his arm. “What the hell?” He looked up at Carol.

 

“You listen here. Travis has been a good friend to you so stop interrupting him and listen damn it.” She cleared her throat and stood up straight. “Go on sweetie.”

 

“Like I was saying, Carols parent don’t want us to get married. Arthur offered me 10k to call of the engagement.” Carol scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Guess they think I’m not good enough for their daughter because I study Art.”

 

He furrowed his brow confused by his friends word. He turned at look over to Carol. “Don’t you study art?” .

 

“I did. I’m a professor in Art Therapy. My father is very old fashioned, he thinks that the arts are a women's study.”

 

“Hmph, yea that is pretty old timey thinkin.” He looked over at his friend “so what’re you gonna do?”

 

“That’s why we're here man. We’re getting married regardless of what they say. We booked a flight to Vegas that leaves in 2 hours.”

 

“Oh” he said feeling his body deflate. He’d never been a best man before and was actually looking forward to it. Travis picked him, other than Ian, he was the only real friend he had.  “Good for you. I’m happy for you guys.” He lay back in the bed and closed his eyes. “Have fun out there and don't take any pink mints. There not candy.”

 

“Mickey!”

 

His eyes popped open at the high pitched sound of Carols voice. “Whaaat?” he rubbed at his temples with his thumb and forefinger.

 

“Get dressed young man. Travis and I bought 4 tickets. Two for us, then 1 for the best man which is you in case you forgot. The 4th one is for Jillian.”

 

“Wait...the Spanish teacher?”

 

“And also my best friend and bridesmaid.”

 

“She’s like 100” he said with a small laugh.  Carol reached down and pinched his arm. “Ow fuck” he grabbed his arm and looked at Travis then over at Carol who had her arms folded across her skinny body. “Fine I’m up, I’m goin. Stop fuckin pinchin me that shit hurts.” He started to get up from the bed when he remembered all he had on was his boxers. “You guys mind given me some privacy or you wanna fuckin watch while I get dressed.” His friend scoffed then stood up from the bed.

 

“We’ll be out front in the car.” He watched as Travis and Carol walked out the door closing iit behind them. He rolled his eyes walking over to the closest to pull out the tuxedo Travis rented for him. It was black with purple accents and a purple handkerchief. He assumed he was still supposed to wear this even if they weren’t having the fancy pants wedding that Carol had been planning. He pulled the suit down laying it on his bed and started to pack a few other things. He’d never been to Vegas or anywhere other than Chicago but his brothers told him stories. He could use a vacation to be honest. Even if it was just one day out of this shithole town, away from Ian and his problems, he would take it.

 

***

 

Ian watched as his friends raced each other in the lap pool. His heart was pounding and his hair was still wet from the ice cold water. He was ready for graduation. The three of them had been coming to Nick's gym for almost a month and he was getting in pretty good shape. He wasn’t in bad shape before but he needed to tighten up in a few places. Now his arms and legs weren’t matchsticks and his chest was toned with a clearly defined V. He wanted to show off his new body but only to one person. Why he was still hung up on Mickey he didn’t understand. It had been weeks and nothing. He saw his ex almost every day if not every other day so it’s not like he didn’t have the opportunity to make things right. Instead he messaged him the same excuse over and over then with just a scribbled message on a sticky note, he was off to Vegas. Fucking Vegas. He’s probably, drinking, smoking and hate fucking somebody. Why wouldn’t he be? He’d thought about it. He was lonely and you can only take care of yourself for so long before you start to crave the touch of another human being. He couldn’t though, not yet. Mickey was the first and only one to ever be with him and he wanted him to be the last but so far all signs were telling him he should just give up.

 

Graduation was just a few days away and Nick and Mandy were driving him INSANE! You would think Nick was graduating too but no, he was just a diva and wanted to make sure they had what he referred to as “an epic” graduation party. It would be after the ceremony at Nick's house. He told both he and Mandy they could invite whoever they want and that alcohol and food would be provided. He tried to protest since his sister had mentioned going out on the yacht to celebrate but to be honest he hated that thing. It held more bad memories than good and it would be nice to let someone else worry about party planning so he agreed. As expected Fiona was reluctant but came around in the end when she heard the address. She was excited to break in a new dress Mike had bought her.

Nick said just because it’s a graduation party doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look your best, so the 3 of them were out buying new outfits..also a present from Nick. They had been hoping from store to store for almost 2 hours and he was ready to give up and wear something he had at home. It’s not like he dressed like a hobo, he had nice clothes. Nick refused and then they were off again to the next store. As they approached he could here hip hop music playing and a rather alluring scent coming from inside the store. He couldn’t tell if it was jasmine or rose but it was drawing him in. They walked into the boutique and immediately Mandy shouted in excitement running over to a display on the wall.

 

“Oh my god guys look at this shit.” She held up and slinky black jumpsuit with a silver accent going around the waist. “This is so chique perfect for the party, whatcha think?”

 

Ian scanned over the outfit in question. Mandy was right it looked very elegant perfect for the graduation party but it was missing something...maybe a jacket or..

 

“That’s all wrong. Try this” NIck walked over with a short black and white striped dress with a mini V neck. He didn’t know if he could picture Mandy in it. The length was short and playful but his friend rarely ever wore patterns. Mandy gave the dress the look he was feeling and pursed her lips.

 

“Yea I don’t think so, that’s a little over the top.”

 

“Duh girl!” Nick shoved the dress at her and pushed her towards the dressing room “This is for your high school graduation after party.” Nick held the dress up in front of Mandy as they stared at the mirror on the dressing room door. “You’re not a  little kid anymore girl. Own it.”

 

Mandy’s lips curled into a small smile and she rolled her eyes. “Fine Nicky..” she looked at the price on the dress it was 150$! “Your treat right?”

 

Nick nodded his head and hurried his friend into the room and shut the door. He turned to him and shrugged his shoulders “Girls am I right?”

 

“Man you’re more of a chick than she is” he said with a small laugh.

 

“Why because I have better fashion sense.” He lifted up his shirt and checked out his toned body in the mirror before turning back to him. “I’m all man honey” he said with a wink of his eye.

 

“You were doing great than you added honey and blew your cover.” He walked over to a display housing long sleeved dress shirts and started flipping through them.

 

“I already found your outfit too” Nick said with the click of his tongue as he disappeared around a corner. He came back holding a dress shirt and a suit? “How am I supposed to dance in a suit?”

 

“Really Ian? You think i would sacrifice comfort for style?” 

 

Ian nodded his head because yes. Have the time Nick was dressed like a model but some of the things he wore just didn’t seem functionable. 

 

“Just try it on, then tell me what you think.”

 

He grabbed the outfit from his friend and they both walked over to the dressing room. He knocked on the door because he figured Mandy would be done by now. 

 

“I’m not wearing this” Mandy’s voice echoed through the door laced with disappointment. 

 

“Let us see!” Nick banged on the door. “Come on Mands.”

 

He heard a loud frustrated sigh and his friend stepped out. “Wow” he eyed the outfit giving it a full critique in his mind but nothing was wrong with it. “You look amazing. I mean it's fun but still really classy.”

 

“Wait right here. I know what she’s missing.” Nick hurried to the back of the store leaving them standing there. “You don’t like it?”

 

“I do it’s just..not somethin i would normally wear ya know.”

 

“That’s..whew” NIck leaned against the door catching his breath. “That’s the point Mandy. To break out of this shell and welcome adulthood. These boots and this jacket. Put them on then tell me it’s not you.” 

 

Mandy rolled her eyes then walked back into the dressing room. When she stepped out he had a new faith in Nicks wardrobe abilities. “He’s right Mandy you look amazing.”  His friend did a little twirl then put her hands on her hips and flung back her hair. 

 

“I do don’t I” she said with a wide grin painted across her face. “Justin is gonna be begging for me back when he see this.”

 

“Hell yes he is.” Nick turned back to him. “Alright your up Ian show us what you look like all grown up.”

 

He scoffed and pushed passed his friend walking into the dressing room and closing the door behind him. He held up the suit in question. It was surprisingly light, not like the tux he wore to last years dance. He just assumed all suits were heavy. Hmm. He changed into the undershirt first which was a dark grey V neck. It fit loosely yet still gave his body definition. If he didn’t buy anything else he was leaving with that shirt. Next was the jacket. It was almost the same color as his shirt accept it had a hint of blue. It had a dark purple lining that extended around the collar and down the front halfway leaving three buttons at the bottom. He buttoned the jacket and pulled on the pants. He looked himself over in the mirror and was pleased with the result. He looked pretty fucking classy, yet not stuck up. Now for the real test. He knew himself well enough to know he would be getting drunk tonight and drunk Ian meant dancing. He crouched down praying he wouldn’t hear the dreadful sound of a seam ripping. When nothing happen he stood up and rolled his hips. The pants fit very well, accentuating just the right parts. He was getting this outfit, no convincing was necessary. Graduation was going to be epic. The only thing missing was Mickey.

 

***

 

“Friends, we have gathered here today to share with Travis  and Carol an important moment in their lives. They have seen their love and respect for one another blossom and now they are here ready to live the rest of their lives together as one.”

 

Ugh. Kill him now please and put him out of his misery. He felt his stomach churn as he watched the life changing moment unfolding in front of him. Travis was staring at Carol with big eyes the way he would at Ian except he looked peaceful. He had nothing to hide. There was just love. He rubbed his knuckle to his nose then stuck his hands in his pocket waiting for the minister to finish.

 

“Marriage is said to be the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. Marriage is a promise to share an undying love through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest. Do you Carol Andrews, take Travis Ridley to be your husband?"

 

"I do"

 

“Do you Travis Ridley, take Carol Andrews to be your wife?"

 

"I do"

 

“The bride and groom will now  read the vows they have prepared for each other. ”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes as Travis unfolded a small piece of paper and grabbed Carols hand. They had to write their own vows? Why? Didn't that shit come with the ceremony? This was way to much fuckin emotion for him to handle on very little alcohol.

 

“Carol. When I saw you standing there with paint in your hair and chalk on your overalls I knew you were the one for me. I’d already passed through college and earned my degree but something made me stop in that day to visit the old campus and there you were with your class painting a mural, so much detail and effort. People may look down at our love, they may say that we can do better but I don’t care about those people. I feel sorry for those people because they don’t know what true love is. I promise to put as much detail and effort into loving you and this marriage as you do into your work everyday. I love you.”

 

Carols eyes were glistening with tears as she grabbed his friends hand.

 

“Travis. When I saw you, I knew we would be standing here today. Regardless of what anybody has to say I know you are my one and only truly forever. I have never met anyone more genuine in who they are as a person. What you see is what you get and I love that about you. I know that as our love grows as well as our family you will always be the person I can count on. The day you stumbled into my class you changed my life in the most beautiful way and I can’t wait to spend everyday of forever with you. I love you.”

 

“You may now exchange the rings”

 

The pair exchanged rings along with gooey lovesick glances that only made the lump in his stomach rise to his throat. 

 

After what seemed like an eternity the Minister pronounced them man and wife and before the couple crashed their lips together he was walking down the aisle and out the door to the casino. “Stupid fuckin bullshit” he huffed as he approached the bar. He connected eyes with the bartender and ordered a whiskey. He sat their sipping on his drink, enjoying the burn in his throat as a distraction from the stabbing in his heart. He couldn’t believe he was in fuckin Vegas right now. He couldn’t believe Carol got married without her parents approval, what if they never spoke to her again? She looked really happy though, like the thought didn’t even matter. He might not talk to his brothers that often but he didn’t want to think how it would feel if they stopped talking to him. 

 

Fuckin Ian.

 

Why did he have to say yes? If he would have just turned down the babysitting gig none of this would have had the chance to happen. He wasn’t thinking with his mind back then, he was running on teenage hormones and bad decisions. Now he fucked up what he risked so much for. He didn’t understand what the point of anything was. Everything either annoyed him or made him want to hurl. The only thing that brought him comfort was knowing one day Ian would have the life he wanted, that comfort quickly turned to pain when he accepted that life would never be with him. “Fuck this!” He slammed the rest of his drink and flagged down the bartender again. “Whiskey” he said pushing his glass forward. “Leave the bottle.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 


	17. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey tells Ian how he really feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is guys. The end to my roller coaster of emotions. I hope you enjoyed the ride. I apologize for how long it took but life in unpredictable and not always sunshine and rainbows. I had a great time writing this story and I wouldn't change one part about it. I stand by all my choices. Thank you for sharing this with me and as always thank you to my bestie/ beta for keeping me motivated. Thank you also the Vich for being a sounding board for me and a fan. XOXO. Enjoy

 

 

“Look at my babies all grown up” Nick said with a smile.

 

Mandy pulled up her hair into a ponytail and rolled her eyes. “Shut up Nicky. You’re not even that old.”

 

Ian scoffed at his friend as he adjusted his tie “Whatever the guys a fucking dinosaur.”

 

“Aww so rude, my heart is breaking” Nick joked. “Really though, I’m proud of you guys. The future is yours now” Nick stuck his hand out and moved it in a circle.

 

Ian laughed, “ok Yoda.” He put on his cap and folded his gown over his shoulder. After fidgeting with her hair for the next 20 minutes Mandy was ready and the 3 of them walked to Nick's car. He couldn’t wait for his family to see him. He did it...he made it through high school and today was the big day.

 

High School graduation.

 

He and Mandy were ready to join the big leagues. After what seemed like an eternity they were finally done with school. He wasn’t sure what his plans were, what college he wanted to go to or where he wanted to live. Mickey had this grand idea about them running away to New York together but here it was 7 years later and he was still a secret. Mickey still another year from his degree. A whole fucking year, then if he was really serious he’d need to do an internship right after. He was happy his boyfriend was following his dream. He had a dream too though, he still wanted to be a Firefighter but his true calling was acting. He didn’t have the best vocals, that had been established but over the years he found a passion for drama he never felt with anything else. He could pursue acting in New York, there was Juilliard and plenty of other schools. He could also go to L.A the city of Angels, walk on sandy beaches and become the next big thing in Hollywood. It all depended on what Mickey wanted to do, he would’ve gone anywhere as long as it was with him. He’s 18 now and graduating yet Mickey still can’t pull their relationship from the shadows. He was over it and if he was being honest he was devastated that Mickey didn’t chose him. They were broken up. It was his choice but his heart was still having a hard time accepting the reality of it all. It wasn’t what he wanted but in the end it was he needed...right?

 

“Ian come on”

 

He felt someone tug at his gown and looked up to see Mandy pulling him up the stairs. He rubbed at his eyes taking in his surroundings. They were lining up for there degrees behind the curtain and all he could think about was Mickey. This was his special day and somehow Mickey still found a way to distract him.

 

“You ok? You look kinda sad and I don’t get it. We’re about to graduate!”

 

He forced on the same smile he had since that night when he returned to his friends. If he did enough maybe eventually it would stay glued on and he would shake off this overcast cloud that planted itself on his shoulder. “Yea just thinking about college you know, having to move away from everyone.”

 

“Fuck that” Mandy hooked her arm is his as they moved forward in line. “I can’t wait to bail from here! I’m thinkin of a nice apartment in a small town, or on campus, like what Mickey’s doin.”

 

“Where?”

 

Mandy shrugged her shoulders “Well I got a good gpa and people say i argue all the time so I was thinkin about Law School, Dukes in North Carolina. Either that or go to another big city and try for Cornell or Columbia.”

 

He was shocked his friend had such master plans yet he didn’t know. “Mandy you know those school are impossible to get in and the cost..”

 

Mandy grinned and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. “Yea I know. That’s why I put in my pre applications last year and I’ve been applyin for grants and scholarships. I told you this remember?”

 

“No?”

 

“Well I did, we were at lunch with my brother and I told you I spent the day siftin through grant applications.”

 

Lunch with Mickey..that explains it. He was probably so obsessed over the whirlwind in his boyfriends head to even hear a fraction of what his friend was saying, that’s just how it was when they were around their family. Every action studied, every word read into more than it should be…

 

“Whatever. If I don’t get in then I already got accepted to UOC and Nick knows some work study I can do so either way I’m set.”

 

Why was Mickey so certain people would react so terribly? He wasn’t a bad person, and this was the South Side. Jesus Fiona lost her virginity under the bleachers. He remembered unfortunately from “the talk.” Mickey was just using that as an excuse, he never planned on telling them. He thought maybe that wasn’t the case but now he knew. Mickey told him he wanted to forget Chicago. He expected him to up and leave his family behind to live this fairytale in New York but what about when people wanted to visit. Would they pretend to have met there? What about all the memories he made with Mickey before. All the fun they had and special moments he wanted to share with his friends would have to be kept secret and a giant lie created to pacify Mickey’s ego.

 

“IAN!” He looked up and Mandy was climbing the stairs to the stage.

 

“Fuck sorry” he shook his shoulders and cracked his knuckles in front of him. “Let’s do this!” He gave Mickey a choice and he just stood there making more excuses. It’s been 3 weeks and still nothing but excuses. He wasted 7 years on him and he wasn’t gonna waste a second more.

 

“Ian Gallagher” the principles voice echoed. He pushed past the curtain and walked onto the stage over to where she was standing.

 

“I’m proud of you Gallagher” she whispered the handed him his diploma. “Congratulations Mr. Gallagher.” He shook her hand then turned to the camera for the yearbook photo. He saw his family frantically waving and returned the gesture as he walked to take his place of the bleachers. Nick had a video camera and was giving him a thumbs up. He could see Iggy and Colin sitting next to his family but as he casually scanned the crowd he was yet to see one face. The one he swore no matter what happened between them would be there for his sister at least. He was about to give up when he saw Mickey leaning against the auditorium door looking at his phone. He was here. He came but didn’t care enough about either of them to fucking pay attention. Why was he surprised? If Mickey really cared then he would be sitting with his family and waiting to kiss him congratulations. He grabbed Mandy’s hand and she turned to him with a smile that grounded him. He could do this.

 

***

 

Fuck that was torture. He sat on his bed watching the video on his phone. The look on Ian’s face when he accepted his diploma was priceless. It was the kinda look that gave you butterflies in your stomach, that took your breath away and made you want to say smile again just so you could remember how to breath. It was true happiness. Ian was happy, then in a matter of seconds it was gone. He’d stared at that face long enough to know when something real faded away leaving behind a lie. When Ian waved to the crowd his eyes were sad but his face was…

 

“Dude you gotta stop this. I can’t take anymore” Travis plopped down next to him with a beer. “Just go get him, tell him how you feel for fucks sake man.”

 

“What am I supposed to do. He knows how i fuckin feel damn it” He through his phone at the floor and his case popped off. Fuck it. His phone was fine. He layed back on his bed and let out a small defeated laugh. “He wants me to just tell everyone. Like it’s the easiest thing in the fuckin world. After all this time he still doesn’t fuckin get it!”

 

“What the big deal? He’s 18 bro. People make porn at 18, he’s legally an adult. Screw what anyone says. If you love him and you want to have this future you’ve built in your head then you need to do what he wants.”

 

“You don’t get it either, we..” he paused. He trusted Travis. He spent more time with him these days then anyone. He knew him, the real him. He needed to confide in someone or he would keep dieing inside. “We’ve been together a really long time.”

 

“3 years is a long time but think about…”

 

“What about 7?”

 

He rubbed his knuckle under his nose as he went against every bone in his body. “You said we’ve been together 3 years. That’s wrong. It’s been 7.” Travis stood up from the bed and stared into the distance absently for several second before turning to him with a raised brow.

 

“You’ve been dating since you were 15?”

 

“Ok maybe 7 and a half. I was 14 when we got together. It wasn’t my fault” he said defensively. “Fuckin kid was just there all the time being perfect and adorable and his family” he scoffed and licked his lips. “His family treated him like a chore, like he was something to be passed around so they could live their lives. He wasn’t a chore to me..not once” he smiled and felt his eyes water. Fuck no he was not about to cry over some stupid stroll down memory lane. He pressed his palms into his eyes and sat up. He reached for his smokes and shoved one between his lips. Travis stood there staring at him. He was stone faced, he looked almost angry like he was trying to find the best way to go about calling him a piece of shit.

“Fuckin say somethin man!”

 

Travis took a deep breath then crossed his arms and walked closer to the bed. “You and Ian have been together since you were 14 years and nobody knows?”

 

“Nope. Not a soul. Ian knows better than to tell anyone so..” he took a drag then felt his cigarette being snatched from his lips. He looked at his friend who was taking deep drags.

 

“I have to say Mickey. I thought I knew you better.”

 

“Come on man it was never like that.. I love him.”

 

Travis scoffed and licked his lips. “This whole time I’ve been living with a..coward.”

 

“Monster?” he said in unison with his friend. He furrowed his brow and looked at his friend. “Wait what?”

 

“You’re a coward Mickey. You started this relationship yet you’re not willing to take responsibility for it even though that’s the only thing that would bring Ian back. Instead you sit here and whine how nobody understands you. What the fuck dude? I thought you were better than that. 7 years? I’m surprised Ian lasted that long.”

 

“So you don’t think I’m like a pedo or somethin?”

 

Travis laughed then sat down next to him. “A coward, selfish, and a bit of an idiot but a pedophile..no. You guys have been together 7 years. You talk all the time about your life when you graduate. You love each other.”

 

“He was 12 though..a kid” Why was he trying to get Travis to hate him? Why didn’t he? This isn’t how he thought this would go. His world was spinning, what was happening? “I don’t get it, why aren’t you more upset about this?” He needed him to be upset about this, to prove he was right.

 

“Mickey you were 14. You were a kid too like it or not. You may have been older but deep down you were following your heart. It could have gone differently then we would be having a MUCH different talk but it didn’t. You love him, so man the fuck up and show it.” Travis stood up from the bed. “I have to finish packing, Carol wants to have dinner with this couple she met at Yoga, she’ll kill me if I’m late.”

 

Mickey laughed and cracked an invisible whip.  Travis rolled his eyes then walked to his side of the room.

 

He leaned back in his bed trying to process what just happened. He told someone what really happened and they shrugged it off like it was nothing. Travis knew him though, he knew he was a good person. He didn’t have any reason to be upset but Fiona might still. Fuck. He thought back to his drunken night in Vegas. When Travis and Carol read their vows and tied the knot despite the fact Carols parents tried to talk her out of the wedding and when that didn’t work they offered Travis money not to marry her. That was love. True love. He couldn’t handle it so he wandered into the casino leaving the newly weds and drowned out his self loathing with shots of whiskey  until he couldn’t feel anymore. He wanted to feel though. He wanted to feel Ian again. Not just touch him but really feel him. The way he laughed or when he smiled, it melted his heart and there were moments when it seemed like they were the only two people on the planet. Wow Milkovich. He let out a small laugh and rolled his eyes. Someone had to he sounded like a lovesick teenager in a shitty romantic comedy. They always got the girl though. The guy would do some stupidly unrealistic grand gesture that would sweep the girl off her feet and make her forgive him for any wrongdoings and the would ride off into the gay ass sunset. This wasn’t a fuckin movie and he wasn’t Freddie Prinze Jr but he knew 100% he needed Ian in his life.

 

He lay there thinking about what he could do that could prove to Ian about how he felt about him but every scenario ended up with him doing what he really didn’t want to do. Was it worth it? Was Ian worth it? What if he was wrong? What if he told the world and the world attacked him and tore him to pieces? He would still have Ian, nobody else but he would have what he truly wanted. “Fuuuck” he sighed as he reached for his phone. Once it was assembled and powered on he started to scroll through his camera reel. He felt his eyes prickle as he swiped over memory after memory until reality slapped him in the face. It was worth it. Every possible outcome ended with Ian in his arms, good or bad. He knew what he needed to do. He had almost know time because the graduation party started in thee hours. He jumped off his bed and ran over to where Travis was standing packing a box. “Yo, I need a huge favor.”

 

Travis turned to him and crossed his arms. “What is it man, told you I’m on a time schedule.”

 

He glanced to the ground the brought his hand up to scratch at his neck “Yea..about that. Would Carol really kill you if you had to cancel…”

 

“Why would I have to cancel Mickey. What going on?”

 

He could hear the hint of concern in his friends voice and knew he was making the right choice. “You’re right man. I should tell Ian how I feel, show him that he’s important to me.”

 

“So..you’re going to tell your family?”

 

“Not exactly but they’ll figure it out. You’re good with powerpoint and all that shit right? That’s part of your trainin?”

 

Travis nodded his head.

 

“Ok good. I got some pictures here I thought we could do somethin with you know put to some music or whatever you can do.”

He went on to tell Travis his plan. A few minutes later Travis got off the phone with Carol and the two sat down at his computer to get started. The more into the project they got the more sure he became of what he was about to do. This was the right thing for the both of them. He loved Ian and this time apart made him realize truely what that meant. He was nothing without him, Ian made him a better person. 

 

*

 

“Holy fuck man!” He watched the video and told himself to man up when he felt his eyes prickle. “It’s perfect.” He looked at his phone, they still had 90 minutes before the party started. “This is fuckin great Travis I don’t even know what to say thank you man.” He hugged his friend tight then quickly pushed him away straightening out his shirt. “Uh..so there’s one more thing I need your help with.”

 

*****

 

Ian walked around the rooftop feeling like an adult for the first time. He was longer the annoying little brother or the kid boyfriend. He was Ian fucking Gallagher. He was somebody.

 

“Ian!” He turned to see his family waving him over. He walked across the room and sat next to his sister. “I’m really fuckin proud of you kid.”

 

“Yea man. I can’t believe your all grown up now” Lip reached out and tousled his hair.

 

“Hey knock it off. I spent like an hour on that!” He reached up smoothing his hair back down.

 

Lip scoffed and pulled a baggie with a  blunt from his jacket pocket. “Fucking Diva now? You too good to smoke with us now that you got a fancy haircut” he looked him up and down “Don’t forget where  you fucking come from little brother. It’s easy to get caught up in that world and leave us all behind.”

 

Ian raised his brow then looked at his sister “What the hell is he talking about?”

 

Fiona grabbed his hand and smiled but he could see tears lining her eye. “He saw the college applications. You left them on your desk.”

 

“Oh” he took his hand back and folded them in his lap. “I was gonna talk to you guys but I wanted to get approved first. I love Chicago but..”

 

“It’s ok Sweetface. You should get out, go see L.A or New York. We’re just gonna miss you.” She pointed to Lip who was puffing on the blunt with a scowl on his face. “He’s gonna miss you.”

 

“Miss me? He barely even talks to me.”

 

“You’re an adult now. Age doesn’t matter as much. He loves you honey.”

 

Lip walked over and sat down next to him “Here” he shoved the blunt at him. “All i’m saying is call now and then alright. Don’t just disappear on us.”

 

He took a long drag then blew the smoke through his nose. “I haven’t even turned in the applications. Who knows what will happen by then.”

 

“Don’t kid yourself little brother. You’re a Gallagher. You’re smart. You can go to any college you want. Don’t settle like I did.”

 

“We just want you to know we’re proud of you and we support whatever you do right Lip?”

 

“Yea, what she said.”

 

“Thanks guys.” He stood up after taking another drag then passed it to his sister. “I’m gonna go mingle.”

 

“Wait” Fiona grabbed his hand. “Not until we do some shots!”

 

He smiled because this was the moment he’d been waiting for his whole life. Even as a teenager he felt disconnected from his family. They were there but they never seemed to care what he did or where he was. It was like he went from being a troublemaker who needed extra supervision to a teenager they didn’t have to think about. Now he was smoking and drinking with them finally feeling like a part of his family.

 

Several rounds of tequila later and he was feeling on top of the world. Everything was falling into place. He wandered away from his family onto the dance floor where Mandy was dancing with Justin. It was nice to see her smile, he was worried for a minute but then Justin admitted he picked up a second job because he wanted to take Mandy to the Ballet. Guy was embarrassed so he kept it a secret. Did he forget her two best friends were gay? He laughed at the thought as he walked over to the buffet table. Nick went all out. There was food from everywhere. Chinese, Italian, Mexican, just a bunch or random appetizers. He filled up a plate and was about to sit down by the pool when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and was immediately disappointed. “Nick hey man.” He grabbed a cocktail weenie and shoved it in his mouth with a piece of pepperjack cheese. “Great party thank you. You really went all out.” Nick grabbed his plate and set it on the chair then pulled him close.

 

“Anything for you Ian. I’m glad you like it.”

 

It was probably the tequila but it felt nice to be held again, feel the warmth of another person touching his skin. “I really do” he said softly then looked away. “Nick I just broke up with ..”

 

“Don’t care” Nick cut him off mid sentence. “I just want you to be happy Ian and maybe….” He moved his hands down to his waist. “You could dance with me again?”

 

Ian felt a blush creep across his face as Nick stared at him. Why not right? He was single. Didn’t mean anything, just harmless fun. He was still trying to erase Mickey from his brain and maybe a dance with someone who has been pining after him and was pretty fucking hot would do that. Nothing else seemed to work. “You’re on.” He stepped back then grabbed Nicks hand pulling him to the dance floor by the pool. Nick immediately flipped him around and moved up behind him as he rolled his hips. It was like the club all over again except this was more intense. The dancing, the touching, it was a lot to handle. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. A part of him wanted to run away and another part was fighting the urge to turn around and let this distraction move to another level, but then he would never be able to see his friend again because he knew Nick really liked him. He wasn’t about to lose his best friend for a rebound. “Hey” he pulled away and turned to look his friend on the eyes. “I can’t do..”

 

“Everybody can I have your attention please.” He took a deep breath swallowing his words and turned to see his sister on the stage in the far corner. “I just want to thank everyone for bein here and let our graduates know how proud we are. Big round of applause guys.” The air filled with the sounds of cheers and claps. “Thank you to Nick for hostin this party and settin me up with the computer. Not very techy myself.” He watched as a screen lit up behind his sister and pictures of him and Mandy flooded the screen and Vitamin C’s graduation played in the background.

 

He looked up at his friend “You help with this?”

 

Nick smirked “Just a little.”

 

****

Ian was ignoring him as expected. He didn’t even know if he knew he was there, or if he just didn’t care. He seemed to truly be over him as he danced with Nick. Stupid fuckin Nick. He was his competition whether he liked to admit it or not. He had money, was hot and was obsessed with Ian. It was obvious he wanted him, the only thing is now it seemed maybe Ian wanted him too. Was he wasting his time? Had Ian really moved on? He watched as Fiona called everyone up to the stage Nick set up.  She gave a speech about Ian and Mandy bein all grown up and goin to college. How proud she was and...blah blah. She played a short video of the graduation with a small slideshow just as he was told. He may have mentioned to her he wanted to give his own speech and she told him about the slide show. His would be better.

 

“And now a few words from someone close to both our graduates. A best friend and big brother. Mickey Milkovich come on up.”

 

He took another shot then walked over to the mic “Ahem” he cleared his throat then pulled at his shirt collar that suddenly felt like it was strangling him. Why did he do this to himself? “Thanks  Fi” he waved at his friend as she walked back into the crowd. He looked for Ian and found him standing too close for comfort with Nick. Ian’s eyes were wide with surprise and he hadn’t even started. He walked over to the computer and plugged his phone. “Mandy, wanna say I’m really fuckin proud of you and I know you’ll do great things. Grab the world by the fuckin balls bitch.” He pushed play on the powerpoint and pictures of him and Ian over the years started playing to the song Safe & Sound. It was how Ian made him feel so he thought it would be perfect. He walked to the front of the stage and zeroed in on his target. “Ian Gallagher, you’ve been my best friend for years now.” His hands were sweaty and he could feel his temples throbbing. “You’re the person who could make me laugh when no one else could. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You stuck by me even when you knew you should go. You were there for me but I wasn’t there for you. You were the light in my darkness Ian, without you I don’t  see a fuckin point to anythin. Every dream I had built in my head has you.” He could hear whispers and tried his best to stay focused. He was too far to turn around now. “I guess what I’m tryna say is that you’re not my fuckin friend. You’re a piece of my heart. My soul mate. All I ever wanted wrapped in one ridiculously hot package” He gestured over Ian’s body as the boy and his friend slowly made their way through the crowd towards the stage. “We been together a long fuckin time and I can’t imagine life without you cause just a few weeks of bein apart fuckin wrecked me man.” He took the mic and walked down the steps. You can do this, don’t pussy out. He walked over to Ian then glanced up at Nick who smiled and stepped back. Good, fucker. “You want me to tell everyone how much I love you hm? That it? ” He reached out and pulled Ian close so he could stare into his emerald eyes “ Tell em how I've loved you since we were kids and all I want is to spend the rest of our lives together?”

Ian was speechless and his cheeks were burning red. Perfect. “Fine. I love you Ian Gallagher and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” He reached into his back pocket then got on one knee. He could hear the gasps but focused in on one set of green eyes “Will you marry me?” He opened the box to show Ian his ring. Travis helped him pick it out only hours before but it was perfect. It was a sterling silver band textured with rose gold and yellow gold. He saw it and immediately knew it was the one, just like he did Ian so many years ago.

 

“Jesus Mickey” he laughed unable to process what was going on. The room was spinning and he felt like he might pass out. “Is this really happening, I..”

 

“Yea” he licked his lips. “It’s really fuckin happenin Gallagher so yes or no?”

 

“Yes!” He leaned down and picked Mickey up from the ground so that he could look into his eyes. “Yes” he repeated then closed the distance between them. He could hear the murmurs and the oohs and ahhs. He smiled pulling back. “I love you too.” Mickey wrapped his arms around his waist tightly. He was about to kiss his new fiance again when he felt someone punch his arm hard. “Ow what the hell?” He turned to see his best friend with tears in her eyes. “You ok Mands?”

 

“No I’m not fuckin okay you assholes!” She walked over to her brother and smacked him upside the head. “You two? I just… why didn’t you tell me! You’ve been together this whole fuckin time and you didn’t think I’d wanna know!”

 

“Told you Mandy, it wasn’t the right time” he looked over at Mickey “I’ll tell you everything you wanna know.”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes “I need a fuckin drink.” He leaned in a kissed Ian on the cheek then started to walk away when he was cut off by a certain blonde ken doll. “Outta my fuckin way” he growled trying his best not to pop off on the guy for touching his Ian.

 

“Wait,  Mickey right?”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I uh..I  didn’t know. Everything makes sense now, what you did at the party and the club. I’m sorry if I caused any tension but I love Ian too.”

 

He licked his lips and cocked a challenging brow “say that again?”

 

Nick glanced to the ground “I love Ian. I have since junior year, but he really loves you. Even when I thought we had moments he’s never looked at me like he looked at you.”

 

“Why you fuckin tellin me this?”

 

Nick scratched his head “I just want you to know you got nothing to worry about man. Ian’s one of a kind and after that performance I know so are you. He’s MY best friend though so if you hurt him..”

 

Mickey let out a small laugh and patted the guy on the shoulder “relax shaft, I don’t need that speech.” He was kinda moved by  how much this douche nozzle cared for his fiance. “ I’m glad he has you for a friend. You seem ok.” He took in a deep breath and tightened the grip on Nicks shoulder “but if I see you tryin to get in his pants again” he leaned up and whispered in his ear, “they won’t find your fuckin body for weeks. We clear?” Nick nodded his head and grabbed his hand.

 

“Crystal. Congratulations Mickey.”

 

“Uh huh ok. Bye now.” He waved the boy away and walked over to the bar where his brothers were standing with Fiona. He could hear them arguing and wanted to turn around but Colin spotted him.

 

“Mickey, get your ass over here” He rolled his eyes and walked over to the group.

 

“What? I’m busy.”

 

Fiona took a drink of her beer and looked him over “Yea we can see that.”

 

Iggy walked up to him and shoved him hard causing him to stumble. “What the fuck Mickey? What’s wrong with you? Ian? This whole fuckin time?”

 

“It’s not..I.. we” fuck man speak fuckin english “I told you I love him.”

 

Iggy grabbed his arm and pulled him in close “I fuckin know that dick. Why didn’t you tell us?”

 

“Yea Mickey thought we were family. We don’t keep fuckin secrets like that. All this time you been hidin shit from us.”

 

“And me” Fiona chimed in then turned to look at him. “I always knew it was you Mickey. The way you left that night after Ian’s little announcement made it pretty obvious. I called to hear it from you and you lied to me.”

 

He averted his eyes.This was the part he was dreading. “You knew?”

 

Iggy sat down on the stool and grabbed his beer “we’re not fuckin blind kid. You guys spent every waking moment together and then some.”

 

Fiona pulled a cigarette from her pack pressing it to her lips. “Then there’s the clubhouse.”

 

“Wait how..”

 

“Went to move look for some papers Frank might’ve left around for the house. Saw your whole set up down there. The bed, the clothes, legos..It was so cute like a little apartment.”

 

He was frozen, he couldn’t tell if they were mad or what. “Why didn’t you say anythin?”

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

He scratched at his neck then glanced over to his fiance who was happily chatting his sisters ear off “uh.. I wasn’t ready I guess. I thought you’d hate me.”

 

Fiona stood up and walked over to him then pulled him into a giant hug. “You’re family Mickey, I could never hate you. We were waitin for you to come to us.” She pulled back and cocked a brow looking at his brothers “you owe me a benji”

 

“Wait you bet money?”

 

“Your brothers still had doubts.”

 

“ I can’t fuckin believe this.” He was both relieved and angry. All this time he and Ian coulda been together in the open. “How could you not say anythin?”

 

Colin crossed his arms “How could you. You didn’t even give us a chance kid. This is the fuckin south side, you’re what 2..3 years older? Anyone who saw you two together could see that you too had somethin special. Why would we take that from you.”

 

They were right. It was his fault. All he could do now was make it up to Ian.  “Well it’s official now” he turned around “Gallagher get over here.” He watched Ian stand up and walk over to where he was standing. He grabbed his hand “they knew.”

 

Ian looked to his sister “you knew! Jesus how long? When? Why di..”

 

“Not their fault. I shoulda listened to you instead of bein a dick.”

 

“It’s ok you were..”

 

“Shh” he pressed his fingers against Ian’s lips then leaned in capturing his lover in a kiss. He could hear clapping coming from their audience and he felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders as he raised a finger to flip them off. He reached down and picked up Ian causing the boy to wrap his legs around his waist.”

 

“Where we going?”

 

He walked out to the middle of the dance floor then set Ian down “Dance with me?” Ian took his hand then flipped around so his back was against him and started to roll his hips.“You’re so fuckin sexy” he whispered as his hands slid down Ian’s firm body to his waist where they made themselves at home. “I’m never gonna let you go again. You’re mine.”

 

Ian spun around and wrapped his arms around Mickey’s neck. “Forever?”

 

“Forever..”

 


End file.
